Unforgivable Sin

by Isabel Lucero

  I spiraled into a deep depression and kept to myself for a long time. My so-called friends gave up on me when I needed them the most. They called my thoughts irrational, and believed my depression was fake and only for show and sympathy. I truly think they sided with Troy, even though they didn’t say it.

  My parents never knew the truth. I couldn’t tell them that the wedding they had looked forward to, to the man they adored was off because of me. I just told them we were going to postpone it for a little while. When a little while went by, and they continued to ask about it, I told them it would be a lot longer because Troy and I decided I needed to finish school first. The only good thing was that my parents didn’t live in the same city as me, so they weren’t aware of Troy and I still not being together.

  When Troy moved from the house we shared, I lost track of him, and it took me this long to find him again. I won’t allow him to slip through my fingers for a second time. All’s fair in love and war, after all.

  It was all too easy to get Emilie back to her apartment when she was feeling the effects of the sleeping pills that were first given to her. She probably wasn’t even aware that she was being taken to my car and driven to her house. At that point she was half out of it, but with my help I was able to get her to the car without having to fully carry her.

  In the car ride to her house she had fallen asleep, but luckily for me, a man was jogging by, and I was able to ask him for help for my drunken friend. With any luck, he doesn’t live too close by, and won’t remember my face or hers for that matter.

  Before moving forward with my plans of setting Emilie up to look like she wanted to kill herself, I gave Troy one last chance to save her life. I sent a message from Emilie’s phone asking who he wanted a chance with. Unfortunately for everybody, he gave the wrong answer. That’s when I began pouring the crushed pills into the alcohol.

  I’ll forgive him for that mistake, though, as he forgave me for mine.

  Now, all I need to do is wait for him to get in touch with me. Once the shock of losing Emilie wears off, he’ll realize she didn’t mean as much to him as he thought. He’ll remember how understanding I was, and how I said I’ll always be there for him. He will call me, and we’ll start our new life together. It’s just a matter of a time.

  I lie down in my bed, and for the first time in a while, I’m hopeful for the future. I can go back to being the future Mrs. Troy Thompson.

  Three days later, I’m at home trying to get some sleep. I haven’t been able to get much since arriving at the hospital. New Year’s Day has already past, and it didn’t go the way I had hoped. I had wanted to bring in a new year with Emilie and start our relationship on a clean slate.

  Unfortunately, I spent it alone and heartbroken, and now more than ever I just want time to go by quickly. And that won’t happen if I can’t get any fucking rest. So with my head on my pillow, I close my eyes and hope for a long night of sleep.

  Only a few seconds later, my eyes snap open with the sound of banging on my front door. I turn over to see that it’s only eight pm, so visitors at this time aren’t too unordinary. Especially since people have been coming over a lot the past few days.

  I push the covers off of me, and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I walk to the front door wearing only a pair of basketball shorts. I don’t plan on entertaining whoever it is for very long, anyway.

  When I open the door, I’d like to say I’m surprised to see Carla there, but I’m not.

  “Carla,” I greet tiredly.

  When she looks up at me, her eyes rake up and down my body and her mouth parts just slightly. I wish I had brought a shirt now.

  I clear my throat to get her attention and her eyes finally meet mine.

  “Oh. Sorry. Are you busy?” she asks.

  “I was trying to get some sleep,” I say firmly.

  “Oh.” She looks down at the ground for a few seconds before meeting my gaze again. “I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing.”

  “Why would you want to do that?” I ask.

  “Well, I heard about your, uh, girlfriend, and I wanted to come show you some support.”

  I tilt my head to the side and scrutinize her face for a few seconds. “What did you hear and how did you hear it?”

  She shifts her weight from one leg to the other and plays with her fingers, all while not looking at me. I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for her response.

  “Troy, I’m sorry, but I came over the other day and there were so many people here at your house. I asked someone what was going on, and they told me about her… accident. I didn’t think I should try to talk to you then, so I waited until now to come over.”

  My eyes narrow at her, but I know this could be the truth. Two days ago there were quite a few people over, and I was so out of it, I didn’t pay attention to who was where.

  “Well, I’m as good as could be expected, I guess.”

  “Do you want to talk?” she asks softly.

  “Not really, no. I want to sleep.”

  “Do you want me to rub your head like I used to? It always put you to sleep,” she says with a faint smile.

  “Carla,” I say exasperated.

  “Troy, look,” she says, cutting me off. “I know you’re hurting. I know that pain, okay? I just want to help you. I have no ulterior motives. I’m just a friend being there for a friend. Why are you always pushing me away?”

  I sigh and run a hand over the top of my head. “Carla, I’m just extremely tired right now. Okay? I haven’t gotten a whole lot of sleep lately, and I have to be up early in the morning. I appreciate you coming over, but now’s just not a good time.”

  Her shoulders drop in defeat, and she nods her head slowly. “Okay. I understand. Please just promise me that you’ll give me a call if you need anything. I want to be here for you. I know I can help.”

  “Yeah. Okay, Carla,” I answer, hoping it’ll placate her.

  She smiles before stepping forward and placing her hand on my arm. “You’re so strong, Troy. You’ll get through this.”

  I nod. “Thanks. I’ll be fine.”

  She studies me for a moment. “You’re not as upset as I thought you’d be.” A hint of a smile touches her lips, and my brows furrow in response.

  “Well, it’s a tough situation, but I have hopes that everything will be okay once I can talk to Emilie.”

  Carla’s face instantly transforms to one of confusion and something that looks like anger. “What?” she says, enunciating the T loudly.

  “What?” I repeat back to her, confused.

  “Talk to her?” she says, shaking her head.

  “Yeah. Talk to her. What’s the problem?”

  “She… she’s okay?”

  “No, she’s not okay. She’s in a fucking hospital with tubes stuck in her. She’s unable to communicate with anybody right now.”

  My angered response must shock Carla because she flinches back slightly.

  “Oh. Well, I’m… she’s alive. That’s good,” she says quietly, seeming unsure of what to say now.

  “Yeah, she’s alive. Why would you think she wasn’t?” I ask, getting annoyed.

  “I don’t know. All the people here and stuff. I don’t know, Troy. I’m sorry. I’m gonna go now and let you sleep,” she says without looking at me. In a second she’s storming off.

  I shut the door and lock it before heading back to my bed. I’m too sleep deprived to deal with her weird shit.

  The next morning, I’m back at the hospital at Emilie’s bedside. Her overdose was fairly severe, because the doctors had to have her on a respirator while they cleaned her blood through a dialysis machine.

  With the tubes removed from her body now, we’re all just waiting on her to wake up. However, they say she won’t be able to speak right away, or at least not well. Her throat will be raw from the respirator for a while.

  I can’t wait till I get the chance to talk to her, to ask her what happened, and why she’d do this. N
one of us can make any of sense of what went on that night, and only she can give us answers.

  Adrienne comes in and sits on the other side of the bed, taking Emilie’s hand in hers.

  “I know she’ll be waking up soon, but I have to be at work in an hour,” she says, looking at Emilie. “Please call me as soon as you can and let me know when she’s up. I’ll do my best to get over here.”

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks, Troy,” she responds with a sad smile.

  After sitting in silence for a few more minutes, Adrienne stands up and comes over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I settle mine on top of hers and look up into her morose face.

  “I’m glad you’re here, Troy. Emilie needs more people in her life who love and care about her.”

  I look over at Emilie’s still pale face, her lip split in the middle, but her beauty is undeniable. She definitely deserves better.

  “I’ll let you know when she’s up,” I say with a small smile.

  Adrienne nods before walking out into the hospital hallway. I scoot closer to Emilie’s bed and take her hand in one of mine, and caress her face with the other.

  “Emilie, I need you to wake up,” I speak softly. “Please, baby. I know you were upset by what you found at my place, and I know we hadn’t spoken in a few days, but I don’t think you’d do this on purpose. Please wake up and tell me it was an accident. Please tell me this wasn’t because of me. I never wanted to hurt you, you have to know that. You are who I want. Only you.”

  I grab her small, frail hand in both of mine and lie by forehead down on the edge of her bed. And I wait.

  It’s only about fifteen minutes later when she awakes. I hear her trying to clear her throat, and my head snaps up and I finally make eye contact with my beautiful girl.

  “Emilie,” I breathe.

  I stand up and lean over her, kissing every inch of her face. Her only response is to squeeze my hand lightly. I hit the button on her bed to call a nurse in, and a few minutes later, one walks in.

  “Well, hello there, honey. It’s good to see you awake,” the heavy-set woman says cheerfully.

  She walks around the bed and checks her vitals and writes down in her chart. With a quick glance in my direction, she frowns. “Is it okay for me to talk with him in here, or would you like him to leave?”

  Emilie shakes her head and grabs my hand, bringing it closer to her body.

  “Okay, then. I don’t know how much you remember, but you came in here because you overdosed. It was pretty severe and we had to have you on a breathing machine while we made sure we cleaned your blood thoroughly. You were in a coma for just a few days because of the amount of alcohol and sleeping pills you had in your system. It’s also because of how long everything was in your system before you were brought in. You are very lucky.”

  Emilie looks shocked and frightened.

  “Can you speak, sweetie? I know your throat is raw because of the tube we had down there, but as soon as you can speak, we’ll need to ask you some questions.”

  Emilie opens her mouth to speak, but the words barely come out, and what noise she does make is very scratchy and hoarse.

  The nurse shakes her head and raises a hand. “Don’t worry about it, give it some time. In the meantime, I’ll send up some soup and Jell-O for you. I’ll have the doctor come in in a little while, okay?”

  Emilie nods and the nurse walks out. Once the door closes, Emilie looks at me and tears begin filling her eyes.

  “No. Sshh. Don’t cry, baby. It’s okay. You’re okay now. I’m so sorry, Emilie,” I say as I lean my forehead on hers.

  I feel her shake her head and I stand back. She looks frantic and is only pointing at me. My brows furrow in confusion. She tries to speak, but her face contorts when she tries because of the pain.

  I look around and grab a small notepad and pen and hand it to her. She shakily grabs it, but her hand can’t grip the pen properly because of all the tape and IV that’s stuck in it. After scribbling something down for a few seconds she shows it to me.

  Carla

  “Carla?” I ask. “Don’t worry about her, Emilie. I was never thinking about getting back with her. I only wanted you, and she knows that. It’s fine.”

  She shakes her head in frustration and starts trying to write something else. I’m shocked when I read her next words.

  She did this.

  “She did what?” I ask.

  She doesn’t write anything down, she only gestures to herself.

  “You did this because of Carla?”

  Emilie rolls her eyes and starts writing again.

  She gave me the pills and alcohol.

  I feel the anger already coursing through my body. “Are you saying she tried to kill you?” I ask through gritted teeth.

  Emilie nods her head while her chin trembles. I try to control my anger and comfort her, because I know she needs it. I lean over her and hold her as much as I can.

  “When you can talk, I’m going to need you to tell me everything, okay?”

  She nods against my arm.

  “She’s not going to hurt you again. I’m here. I’ll always be here, and she will pay.”

  A couple hours after waking up, Adrienne walks into my hospital room. As soon as she sees me, she rushes over and buries her head in my neck and cries, which of course causes me to cry.

  “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Emilie. I’m so glad you’re okay,” she cries.

  I pat her back and after another minute, she straightens up and wipes her eyes. Pulling a chair to the other side of my bed, she takes my hand in hers. Troy still sits to my left.

  “Can you talk?” she asks.

  “A little,” I say, my voice coming out deep and rough.

  “She had some soup and tea, and those seemed to help,” Troy says.

  “Good,” Adrienne nods. “What happened, honey? We’ve been trying to figure it out, but nothing makes sense.”

  I scoot up a little, trying to make myself a little more comfortable. I haven’t even told Troy the whole story yet. I hope I can talk long enough to get everything out before my voice gives out on me.

  Clearing my throat one more time, I tell them what happened, or at least as much as I can.

  “Wait. So, you were with Christine at first, and then when you woke up, you were with Carla?” Adrienne asks.

  I nod my head.

  “And you think Carla and Christine know each other? That Christine helped her?”

  “Nothing else makes sense,” I respond.

  “So, Carla said she was going to make sure it looked like you tried killing yourself over our fight?” Troy asks, his jaw tense.

  “She said she would make sure she was back in your life again.”

  Troy balls his fist up and I can tell he’s trying to keep himself calm.

  “What else did she say?”

  “She was mad that I talked about her because she said I didn’t know her. She must have heard about what we said from Christine,” I say, looking at Adrienne. “She said she needed you, Troy, and that I took you away from her. She went crazy.” I cough and try to clear my burning throat.

  “That fucking bitch,” Adrienne seethes.

  “She came to my house this morning,” Troy says quietly.

  “What?” Adrienne screeches.

  “She thought you had died. She said she wanted to comfort me,” he says, shaking his head. “I never thought she’d be capable of this.”

  “Okay, well, we need to make sure to get the police up here so you can make a statement. They need to be looking for her and Christine,” Adrienne says sternly.

  “We’ve already contacted them. They’ll be here soon,” I respond.

  “Emilie, I’m so sorry,” Troy says quietly.

  “It’s not your fault, Troy,” I say, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb.

  “I told her you were alive. She knows you’re alive.”

  Adrienne and Troy make eye contact and som
ething passes between them.

  “What?” I ask. They both look at me, but neither responds. “Are you afraid she’s going to come after me again?”

  “There’s no telling what she’ll do, Em. You said it yourself, she’s crazy,” Adrienne answers softly.

  “We won’t leave you alone, Emilie. If I can’t be with you, you’ll be with Adrienne, if she can’t be around, Jace will be. We’ll make sure she can’t get to you.”

  “I don’t need around the clock care, you guys,” I say.

  “I will not let anything happen to you, do you understand? I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

  “Maybe she’ll try to talk you again,” Adrienne says to Troy. “If she thinks you aren’t suspicious of her, maybe she’ll agree to meet you if you call her. Maybe we can set her up.”

  “Maybe,” Troy says gruffly. “I don’t know how I’ll be able to talk to her calmly, though.”

  “We’ll figure something out,” Adrienne says.

  “I’ll be back. I’m going to make sure the cops are on their way,” Troy says as he leans over me and kisses my forehead.

  An hour and a half later, the cops are finally gone and I’m told by the doctor that I’ll be released in the morning. I whine about having to stay the night in the hospital, but they say it’s necessary. The police took down all the information we had, and were hopeful they’d be able to find Carla soon. I only wish I could have remembered more details about how to get to her house, or what street it was on.

  The figured if they watched my house, that she was bound to show up. For this reason, Troy made sure to tell me I wasn’t going to be staying there. Adrienne also offered up her place, but of course Troy wasn’t happy with that. I have a feeling he won’t leave my side for a while, and that’s fine with me.

  When the time comes for visitors to leave, I try to put on a brave face. I don’t want to be alone, and I know Troy doesn’t want to leave me alone. He asked the staff if he could stay, but they said no.