(in)visible

by Talie D. Hawkins

  “I’m so glad you’re here. I didn’t want to be alone for this.” His tone gave me chills.

  “For what? Why did you do that?”

  With his hands deep in his pockets he turned in my direction, not even slightly phased by the astonished look on my face.

  “I’m sorry, Eggy,” was all he said before he picked up the rock and hit me.

  The world spun a little before I hit the ground. The pain in the back of my head was dull and I fought to keep my eyes open. I felt him reach into my pocket as he took my car keys out, then he tossed those too. I wanted to scream, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. The edges of my vision went black and I couldn’t keep my eyes in focus, but I fought. Logan was sitting next to me with something shiny, and silver in his hands. I watched as he slid the object across his wrists. I tried to sit up, but that’s when the blackness took over, and I felt nothing.

  I slowly started to come to, opening my eyes little by little. The pain in my head was intense and reminded me immediately of what happened before I passed out. I sat up in a flash and found Logan next to me in a puddle of blood. I shook him, but he didn’t respond. I had no idea of how much time had passed or how long I had been out. I checked him for a pulse, and found a faint one. “Oh thank God,” I said out loud then I remembered he had tossed my car keys. “Dammit!” I screamed in frustration.

  I wobbled to my feet and looked over at where he had thrown them, and a tiny flash of silver caught my eye. They were stuck to a vine near the bottom of the ravine. I looked around for a spot that wasn’t so steep and made my way down, still feeling a little dizzy. There was very little solid ground between the water and the vine. I edged my way around, trying not to fall in the water and reached for my keys. I snatched them and stuffed them deep into my pockets. The climb back up would be harder than the climb down. I grabbed onto anything solid and made my way back up. I tried not to hurry, even though I knew Logan probably didn’t have much time. But haste could make me take a misstep and I’d be back at the bottom of the ravine.

  After what seemed like an eternity, I made it to the top and ran back to Logan. I opened my back seat and wedged myself behind him-wrapping my arms under his armpits. I pulled with every ounce of strength I had and finally managed to get him into the back seat.

  My blood stained hands shook as I tried to get the keys in the ignition, and once they were in I sped to the Emergency Room. I walked in through the automatic doors and looked around. “I need help!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

  After that, everything seemed to happen all at once. E.R. staff called out codes as an excited nurse tried to calmly ask me what happened. “My car. He’s in my car,” I sobbed as I pointed to where it was parked. E.R. staff with a gurney whizzed past me and I could see them pulling Logan out.

  “Are you injured,” the same nurse asked.

  I nodded no, then yes as I reached for the back of my head. They wheeled Logan past me, screaming more codes and that’s when my knees almost gave out. The nurse was quick and guided me to a chair before I could fall. “Is he going to be ok?” I asked with a shaking voice.

  “The doctors will do everything they can. Let’s have someone take a look at you, ok?” I nodded, not feeling like I had much control over my shaking body. She helped me into a triage area and onto a bed. I could hear her explain what little she knew to the doctor who was examining me. Their voices sounded like buzzing and made my head hurt.

  “I’m Dr. Davis. Can you tell me what happened to you and your friend?” he asked as he shined a light in my eyes, making me turn away.

  “He tossed my phone into the ravine, and then he hit me,” I answered, not making much sense to them.

  “She has a pretty good knot on her head, but I don’t see any lacerations. My guess is this is his blood.”

  I looked down at my shirt and hands, remembering that I was covered in blood. I looked like something out of a horror film.

  “Someone is probably worried about you? Who should I call?” the nurse asked, but before I could answer, everything went black again.

  23

  I was in a different room when I came to. Not much else had changed. I was still a shaking mess and as soon as I remembered what happened I screamed. The same nurse was at my side in seconds. Then two more figures walked into the room, and even though it had been years, I recognized them right away. Logan’s mom was beside me, pulling me into an embrace that only a mom could give.

  She smoothed my hair as I sobbed. “You saved my boy,” she whispered and I pulled back a little. She had said “saved”.

  “He’s ok?” I asked in a cracked voice.

  “He’s far from ok, but he’s alive.” She held my face in her hands then hugged me again. “Now you need to tell these nice people what happened, ok?”

  I recounted my story, taking breaks to make sure I hadn’t imagined the entire ordeal. Logan’s mom would squeeze my hand for encouragement when it was hard to go on. His dad stood in the corner of the room and rubbed his exhausted face. As I retold the story, I realized that it all happened so fast, but it felt like it was days ago.

  “Megan, we need to get you home,” Logan’s mom said. Hearing her voice made my heart swell, and I realized how much I had missed her and his dad.

  “I can take myself home, if I’m allowed to drive,” I said as a new nurse walked in.

  “Out of the question, young lady. You’ll need someone to pick you up,” she said as she filled out a chart.

  I thought of my options. My parents were out of the question, and Betsy was probably still sick, so I didn’t want to burden Mark with my drama. Logan’s parents offered, but I knew they’d rather stay at his side. There was only one person I could think of, so I picked up the hospital phone and dialed the number I had been tempted to call for weeks.

  It felt like only minutes before Jake ran through the automatic doors and anxiously looked around for me. I stood from where I was sitting and our eyes locked for what felt like an eternity. He looked a little panicked as he took in my appearance. Then he crossed the tiny distance between us.

  “What happened?” he asked. I didn’t have a chance to give him details on the phone.

  “I’m ok. It’s not my blood.” I managed to say before I broke down into tears, and then I was in the safest place I knew. I was in his arms. He pulled me to him without hesitation, wrapping his arms around me protectively. I cried against his chest as he held me.

  “You’re not ok. You’re shaking all over. Let’s get you out of here.” Keeping his arm around my shoulder to steady me, he walked me out to his Jeep.

  “Please don’t take me home. I don’t want to explain all of this to my parents,” I said, waving a hand at my blood stained shirt.

  “Where should I take you?”

  I realized I was asking too much of him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to call.” I broke down again.

  “No, I’m glad you called me. I’m here for you.” He started the engine and drove, not saying another word to me. I was a little surprised when he passed my street without turning. Soon we were out of the city limits, and I knew exactly where we were going.

  When we pulled up to the cabin I felt an ache at the memory of when we were here last. He opened my door and helped me out. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said as we walked in. He went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He set them on the bathroom counter and turned the tub on. “Just leave your things by the door and I’ll start the wash while you clean up.” He shut the bathroom door behind him and left me alone.

  I almost gasped out loud when I looked in the mirror. Every inch of me was covered in blood. It stained my hair and hands, and I had streaks of it across my face. I wondered if this was why the E.R. didn’t have mirrors. I peeled off my shirt and saw that the blood had soaked through to the skin on my stomach and chest. I cracked the door and kicked my clothes off before sinking into the tub.

  The water turned a rust color almost
immediately as I washed away the blood. I let most of the water drain out and refilled the tub with clean water. I tried to wrap my head around what had happened as I soaked, then the water started to get cold and I knew it was time to get out. I dunked my head one more time then dried myself off and got into the clothes Jake had picked out for me.

  He was lying on the bed when I opened the bathroom door. His hands were behind his head and his shirt was missing- probably because I had gotten blood on him when he hugged me. He heard me come out but he didn’t look in my direction. Instead, he stared at the ceiling as the muscles in his jaw worked.

  “I thought something terrible had happened to you,” he whispered, still not looking at me. I didn’t move from where I stood.

  “Thank you for being there for me. I don’t deserve for you to be nice to me.”

  I leaned against the doorframe and stared at the ground.

  “So what did happen back there?” he finally asked. I let myself sink to the ground and started telling him the story. We were both quiet but when I glanced at him I could see something that looked like anger in his expression.

  “He kissed me and told me he loved me,” I blurted out. I was trying to say something but it was coming out wrong. My comment got Jake’s attention. He was sitting up now on the edge of the bed.

  “And?” was all he asked.

  “He said he didn’t want to live with regret,” I whispered, more to myself than to him. Things in my mind were falling into place all at once. I stood up and sat next to him on the bed. He looked at me with an ache that I understood all too well. I could feel my heart beating in my ears as I grabbed his hands. I put them against my chest so he could feel it too, then I cautiously rubbed my cheek against his. “I don’t want to live with regret either,” I whispered against his ear. I could feel his whole body stiffen like he was afraid, and that hurt. “I don’t want this- us being apart,” I confessed. “You mean everything to me, and I want to be with you. Maybe it’s selfish to put you through that. Maybe I’m selfish,” I whispered.

  “What are you saying?”

  “That I love you,” I said as I pulled back a little. “That you’re worth whatever comes next.” I let go of his hands, and looked down into my lap. Seconds went by that felt like hours and then he grabbed the back of my head and pulled my lips to his, and I could feel everything we had been through and all of its emotion in that kiss. Days of being apart, and all of the hurt melted away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight, but he pulled back a little- shaking the spell of our kiss off.

  “Are you sure this is what you want? Because I can’t go through losing you again.” I nodded yes and pulled his lips back to mine. It was a kiss that said everything words couldn’t. We fell backwards, onto the bed, our lips never parting. My arms were locked around his neck, and I had no intention of letting go. My entire body ached to be as close as possible to him. He was shaking as much as I was as we lost ourselves in each other- letting all of the “what if’s” disappear from our minds.

  His eyes were still closed when I woke up next to him, and his arms kept me close- almost as if he was afraid I’d slip away. I kissed his jaw lightly and that’s when he started to wake up. His sleepy eyes turned in my direction and a smile spread across his face.

  “Please tell me you’re real, and I’m not dreaming. I’ve had a hundred dreams like this, but I always wake up.”

  I kissed his lips softly then reassured him. “You’re not dreaming.”

  His mood turned from sleepy to serious in seconds, and suddenly he was up on his elbows and almost on top of me, only a fraction of an inch from my face.

  “Don’t ever leave me again,” he said in a commanding yet frightened voice. I reached up and held his face in my hands.

  “I won’t. Even if I have to physically move away, my heart is staying right here with you. We’ll make it work.”

  There was no more talking after that. Our lips melted together and made up for lost time.

  We somehow managed to pull ourselves back to reality and I knew I needed to go home and deal with whatever was waiting for me. I was sure either Logan’s parents or someone from the hospital had been in touch with my parents and an explanation was in order. I asked Jake to drop me off at home, deciding to deal with my car later. I didn’t think I could handle the sight of the hospital again.

  I didn’t move when we pulled up to my house. I stared at the front door, wishing I was just an observer, and that the mess my life had become wasn’t waiting for me. The sight of my parents in the window pulled me from my daydream. I sighed and turned to Jake.

  “Guess it’s go time.”

  He caressed my cheek and kissed me softly. “Do you want me to come with you?”

  “No, I’ll be fine.” I hoped it was true.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” With those words I felt like I could face anything.

  My parents grilled me the moment I stepped in.

  24

  Only, it wasn’t about my ordeal like I had expected. It was about Jake.

  “Is that who you have been with all night?” My dad asked. But before I could answer, my mom shot another question at me.

  “Since when is it ok for you to spend the night with a boy?” I opened my mouth only to be shot down again.

  “We’ll have to insist that you don’t see him anymore,” my dad added. At this point I was seething and had too many things to say all at once. “As a matter of fact, we’ll expect you to be home a lot more until our moving date.”

  “Wait...am I grounded?” I asked in disbelief.

  “More or less, and seeing him is out of the question,” my mom said, pointing to where his car had been parked.

  It took me a few minutes to find my bearings, but once I did it got ugly fast. I licked my lips and tried to take a few calming breaths before I exploded.

  “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” My dad asked, like some horrible cliché’ of a parent.

  “Yes. Yes I do,” I managed to say with a steady voice. “You two have no idea of what I have gone through in the last twenty four hours, let alone since fourth grade. I spent the day getting knocked over the head while my childhood friend tried to kill himself, and now my car is covered in blood and he almost died.” I was screaming at the top of my lungs by the last few words as my parents listened, wide-eyed and silent.

  “That was just the last twenty four hours. My life has been a train wreck, and I have been taking care of myself since Noah died, and now? Let’s not forget that my own father tried to off himself not that long ago and now you both want to wake the hell up and pretend to be my parents?” My mom flinched as I punctuated the last part between gritted teeth. “You. Don’t. Know. Anything. About. Me.” I could see the tears well in my mom’s eyes and no part of me felt sorry for her. It only made me angrier.

  “You don’t know how hard it’s been since your brother...” She couldn’t say the word, so I did it for her.

  “Died. He died mom. And guess what? You had another child that you completely forgot about. So please, spare me the token parenting. I’ll go with you because I have to, but I intend to obtain my scholarships and move right back to be with Jake. Oh, wait...” I added sarcastically. “You didn’t know about my good grades or my scholarship and school goals because again- you know nothing about me.” I stormed up to my room, leaving my parents speechless.

  I went to grab my phone then remembered watching it float down the stream. I picked up the house phone I hadn’t used in forever and called Jake.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s me.”

  “Are you ok?” was his greeting.

  “No,” I said honestly. “Things are crazy here and I already miss you so much.”

  “I’m on my way back. I’ll be there in two minutes.” He was true to his word and my parents made no attempt to stop me from leaving. “So what happened in there?”

  “Well, for starters, I’m forbid
den from seeing you,” I said with a laugh.

  “What? You can’t be serious.”

  “I can’t do it. I can’t go with them. They’re not sane.” I could feel a bit of panic rise into my voice, and he pulled me to him as soon as he heard it.

  “Don’t worry. We have time to figure something out,” he reassured me as he kissed the top of my head.

  “Can we go to the coffee shop? I should probably check in since I don’t have a phone.”

  “Sure.”

  We pulled away from the curb and I was so happy to see my house fading in the distance.

  I saw a pasty looking Betsy behind the counter when we walked in, but she managed to give me a warm smile anyway. Mark was drying mugs behind her. He looked surprised when he saw who I was with.

  “Thanks for returning my calls,” he said sarcastically.

  “I don’t have a phone at the moment. It’s floating in the ravine somewhere.”

  He and Betsy looked at each other then back at me.

  “This sounds like an interesting story,” Betsy said, motioning for us to sit down. Then I spilled it all. Every detail, including the last few hours. Betsy wore a worried wrinkle between her eyes as I told it, occasionally glancing at Mark with an “I told you so” look. She took my hands in hers when I was done talking and leaned in close. She looked at Mark and he nodded, giving her approval for something.

  “Look, Mark and I have been talking. We don’t want you to go. It’s no secret that you’re like a daughter to us. We have a huge home and plenty of room. You’re a responsible girl and you make good choices. We’d love to have you stay with us.” She cut me off before I could speak. “Just think about it. You’d have to convince your parents too, so maybe this is all in vain, but we wanted you to know it’s an option.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I sat there speechless at their offer. Jake put his arm around me and squeezed. I finally managed a “thank you”, but I still felt spellbound. “You don’t know how much that means to me- just to know you’d offer something like that.” I was doubtful that my parents would go for it and I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable taking them up on it, but it meant the world to know the offer was there.