(in)visible

by Talie D. Hawkins

  I leaned back against the sofa and groaned when I remembered my phone was gone. I needed to get some money from my savings account and buy a new one. “Jake, would you mind taking me to my car?” I asked.

  “No problem.”

  I told Mark and Betsy that I would be in touch as soon as I had a new phone, and thanked them again for their kindness. Jake and I took off after I gave them each a huge hug.

  “I need a favor,” I said, once we were in his Jeep.

  “Shoot.”

  “Can you go into the hospital with me? I really need to check on Logan, but I can’t do it alone.”

  He reached over and squeezed my hand. “Of course I’ll go with you.” He gave me a reassuring smile and then we were on our way.

  The nurses from the other night remembered me and pointed me in the right direction. I was overcome with nervousness when we got to the room. Jake pulled me into a hug. “You’re fine. I’ll be right over there,” he said, pointing to a little waiting area. I nodded and took a deep breath before I softly knocked on the open door.

  His mom’s worried face lit up when she saw me, and she was up and hugging me in seconds.

  “How is he?” I was almost afraid to look at him. We both sat and she held my hand tight.

  “Well, he lost a lot of blood, but he’s going to pull through,” she said, sounding exhausted.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You saved him.” She squeezed my hand tighter.

  I looked at him from where I sat. He looked older somehow. So many thoughts ran through my mind as I sat there, then I realized I really had missed him all those years. We had so much history and it hurt when he wasn’t there anymore.

  His mom started asking me questions about my life and my family, mostly to keep her occupied on something else, and it felt good to catch up with her, but we were both interrupted from our conversation when a cracked voice said my nickname.

  “Eggy?”

  25

  Logan’s eyes were half open and locked on me. I got up and went to his side, taking his hand. I realized in that moment that I didn’t want to lose him.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

  “Shhh. You don’t need to be sorry. You just need to get better.” I squeezed his hand when I said it. “I’m going to come see you as soon as you get home.”

  His mom joined my side. “Yes, we plan to have Eggy around a lot more,” she said as she smiled at me. What she said brought my mind back to the fact that I was leaving soon, but I pushed the thought aside for the moment.

  “I better get going.” I hugged his mom and made a promise to stop by their home in the next few days. Jake stood when he saw me walk out of the room.

  “Are you ok?” he asked.

  “I’m fine. I just hope he’ll be fine too.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze as we walked out.

  I felt a little sick at the sight of all the blood in my car. I knew I needed to take care of it right away, but not today. I needed to go home, avoid my parents, and get some rest. Jake and I made plans to meet up the next day, but first I had to get a new phone.

  I got up early and dropped my car off at the carwash, asking them to do all they could for a girl on a budget. Luckily, the mall was less than a mile away. I made the short walk over and found my way to the cell phone place. I browsed at what was available as I waited to be helped. That’s when I bumped into Blaine. “Great,” I accidentally mumbled out loud.

  “Excuse me?” she asked sarcastically.

  “Nothing.” I turned around, ready to walk away, but she stopped me.

  “How is he,” she asked without looking at me.

  “How much do you know?”

  “Everything. His mom called me. Look....” she had a hard time trying to say whatever came next. “Thank you- for saving him.”

  I smiled at her. It wasn’t the kind of “thank you” that you respond to with a “you’re welcome.”

  “So,” she said in a way that told me she was trying to lighten the mood. “What are you shopping for?”

  “Funny story...” I told her about my phone being tossed into a stream and we both laughed a little.

  “It probably pained him to do it. He loves his technology.” We both laughed again. We were being civil and that was shocking. “Hey, I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you.” Her serious tone was back. “He always talked about you. I didn’t know about the history.”

  That’s when I decided I would keep the part about him telling me he loved me to myself. He wasn’t right in the head when he said that, and that was something they needed to work out for themselves.

  Jake and I met when I was done and stuffed ourselves with pancakes. Even though neither of us brought it up, the offer from Mark and Betsy was at the back of my mind nagging to be concentrated on. I silently told myself I could do that when I got home.

  We spent the rest of Spring Break attached at the hip, and the thought of going back to school on Monday wasn’t so bad because I knew Jake would be by my side.

  We walked into school hand in hand, but something felt wrong. Logan was missing and it was hard to ignore the weird feeling it gave me. Blaine caught my eye as soon as I walked in and gave me a half smile and a wave. We were both thinking about the same thing and I was sure it would make today hard for her.

  My parents spent the week trying to make themselves more “present” in my life. They skipped over all of the niceness and went straight to authoritativeness. This was hard for me to swallow because the image of my dad trying to kill himself was never far from my mind. This brought about another serious talk with Betsy and Mark as I was closing the coffee shop one day.

  “Look, we don’t know if you’re safe. Obviously, we don’t know your parent’s side of things, but based on what you tell us, the situation does not sound like a healthy one.” I could tell these words were hard for Betsy to say, but from the way she had acted nervous all week, I was glad she finally did. And I feared she was right.

  “I don’t really see what choice I have if they refuse, and since they are pretending to be parents of the year, that’s exactly what they’ll do.”

  “Do you think it would help if we spoke with them?” Mark offered.

  “I don’t think so. They’re so private. I’m just going to let some time pass, and try to keep the peace. I’ll find the right moment to bring it up,” I promised, and I hoped the right moment would come soon.

  26

  The next few weeks flew as our school year began to wind down. Teachers made every effort to cram any last bit of knowledge down our throats before they let us loose for summer. We also had finals to prepare for, and I needed to do well to keep on my scholarship track. Jake respected my study time, and being at home with my books kept my parents off of my back.

  Nothing weird had happened with them, but I could not get used to the sight of my parents at the dinner table, or seeing my mom dressed in the morning, instead of sitting at the table in her robe looking half dead.

  Part of me wondered if I was being selfish. I asked myself if I should be giving them a chance to change, but the other part of me still agreed with Betsy. We didn’t know if they were safe to be with. The fact that they had been so mentally unstable bothered me, and I didn’t think my dad’s current therapy could transform him so fast.

  Jake and I had plans to spend some time together over the weekend, and I planned to talk to him about it. He’d be honest and not just tell me what he thought I wanted to hear. Even though the thought of us being apart was too painful to even think about, he didn’t expect my decision to be based on him. He also knew that just because Mark and Betsy offered, it didn’t mean that could automatically happen. We were realistic and prepared for the worst.

  My phone rang as soon as the sun was up on Saturday morning. I smiled when my caller i.d. told me it was Jake.

  “Good morning,” I said in a sleepy voice.

  “You sound kind of delicious when you first w
ake up.”

  I could feel the color rise into my cheeks. “You always sound delicious.”

  “How long are you going to make me wait to see you?”

  “Hmmm...that depends. Do you feel like making a boring stop at the book store or should we meet after?”

  “After. I have some stuff to get done too.”

  “I’ll text you as soon as I’m done. I love you.”

  “Love you more,” he said, hanging up before I had a chance to argue.

  I got myself dressed and headed downstairs where the unfamiliar sight of my parents eating breakfast and reading the newspaper was taking place.

  “Morning sweetie,” my mom said in a cheerful voice that seemed forced.

  “Hi mom, hi dad.”

  “Get yourself some eggs. They’re on the stove. You can sit and eat with us.”

  As much as that sounded like the worst idea in the world, I knew I needed to make an effort, so I filled up my plate and sat at the table. My dad was engrossed in an article in the politics section of the paper, but he handed me a napkin.

  “Thanks.” I shoveled bites into my mouth, but then slowed my pace, remembering that rushing was a bad idea.

  “So what do you have planned today?” My mom asked.

  “I’m going to do some studying, and I have to pick a few things up from the bookstore.” I left Jake’s name out of my plans. “I need to ace my finals if I want to stay on track for my scholarship potential.” They both just nodded awkwardly to what I had said. I thanked my mom for breakfast and made my way out without any protest from either of them.

  Parker gave me a hard time the minute I walked into the bookstore. “Oh, how nice. You’re alive,” he teased.

  “Yes. I am. Don’t act so disappointed.”

  “Too busy for books these days?”

  “Too busy for everything, but I’m here to make up for that.”

  “Well, by the looks of what you ordered online, you’ll be pretty busy,” he said as he put my stack of books on the counter. I paid and thanked him, then found a quiet spot to do some studying. It wasn’t long before my phone was buzzing. It was a text from Jake.

  How much will you hate me if I have to cancel?

  Since you have never canceled, I’ll let you off the hook. Everything ok?

  I was glad he couldn’t see the disappointed look on my face.

  Yep, but something came up.

  Okay. Talk soon. <3

  Yep <3

  I stared at my phone screen like it would reveal the answer to the mystery in my head. Jake never flaked, and was never vague. I was puzzled, but figured he had his reasons. Now that my day was open I decided to do some shopping, and after that I’d go home early and make my parents happy.

  27

  I had a lot of luck at sales, and was able to stock my wardrobe with warmer weather clothes, since I had been hiding behind layers of coats and jackets for months. I spent a few hours at home then decided it would be a good night to visit Logan. He hadn’t been back to school yet, but he had been home for a few weeks. I sent him a text to make sure it was ok, and he replied that he’d love to see me. I found a cute sundress with a pink floral pattern all over it. It came just above my knee, making me feel kind of bare, but I was getting used to wearing new things. I pulled on a jean jacket and some ballerina flats and headed out.

  His parents greeted me at the door, and his mom pulled me into a warm hug. I could see the painting of the hydrangeas from over her shoulder and it made me smile. “You look lovely, Eggy.” I blushed at the compliment.

  “She sure does,” I heard Logan say. He was leaning against the wall in the entryway, staring at me.

  “Thank you.” I smiled as I said it.

  “It’s beautiful out. Why don’t you two sit on the back porch? I’ll get you something to drink,” his mom insisted. We both took a seat on the swinging bench, sitting in silence for a long moment.

  “I’m glad you came over. I wasn’t sure if you’d ever talk to me again,” he said as he looked out at the night sky.

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I never wanted to hurt you. I just didn’t want you to stop me. Has it ever been that bad for you?”

  “Plenty of times, but my escape was never death. Leaving town, or forgetting my past, but not death.”

  “I know what a horrible mistake it would have been. I know that now.”

  “I’m glad. I’m not ready for you to be gone.” He looked at me and smiled after I said it.

  We sat and talked for a couple of hours. I filled him in on what little gossip I knew about at school, and he told me how his parents had come to terms with what he wanted for his future.

  “I should probably get home. Gotta keep the peace over there.”

  “Right. Maybe I can see you again soon?”

  “Absolutely,” I promised. His mom gave me a kiss on the cheek before I left, making me agree to have dinner there soon. It was hard not to think about how thankful I was to have his family back in my life, and how sad I would be if I had to leave them behind.

  The next morning I expected to see a text or call from Jake, but there was nothing. I almost called him, but decided to let him do whatever he was doing. He’d call when he was free. My phone did ring a few seconds later, but I was let down when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Logan.

  “Are you free for breakfast? I have cabin fever.”

  I glanced at the clock. It was almost ten and I was starving. “Sure. I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”

  He was waiting outside when I got to his house. “I’m famished and I want donuts.”

  I nodded. I had my instructions and headed in the direction of Sugar Mama’s bakery. We ordered an obscene amount of chocolate donuts and found a nice table to devour them at.

  “So you’re still a chocolate sprinkles kinda girl, huh?” He motioned to my donut as I was about to take a bite.

  “What? How can you go wrong with chocolate frosting and sprinkles?”

  “Cake. Chocolate frosted cake all the way. You don’t know what you’re missing.” He pulled a little piece off and tried to get me to taste it.

  “No thank you. I don’t want anything to take away from the sprinkles.”

  The next thing I knew, the bite was being forced into my mouth and I almost choked from laughing so hard. We both had to stop eating to catch our breath. The person behind the counter looked at us suspiciously, probably wondering if we had had more than a sugar high.

  “It’s good to have you back in my life,” he said, turning the mood to a more serious one.

  “Ditto.”

  “So? Where’s that boyfriend of yours?”

  “I don’t actually know.” I checked my phone to see if he called, but there was nothing. I had to fight the urge to call and check on him.

  “Well, I should probably get home before my parents send out a search party.”

  “Good idea.”

  As we got buckled in I saw a jeep that looked familiar, sitting in front of a shop across the street. It was Jake’s. He was parked in front of a small cafe’ I had never been to. A second later he walked out and a girl followed just a few paces behind him. She was a tall, platinum blonde with shorts on that accentuated her long, slender legs. Most of her mid drift was exposed by her lacy crop top and her eyes were covered in oversized, black sunglasses. I had never seen her before.

  He seemed annoyed as he walked ahead of her, then she grabbed him by the sleeve, pulling him back in her direction. He turned to her and she looked like she was pouting with her arms crossed over her chest. He ran his fingers through his hair- something he did when he was frustrated or thinking. Then she pulled him by the shirt and did something that made my heart drop to the floor. She kissed him and it was a familiar kiss. She knew just the right angle and tilt of the head. She knew his lips like I knew his lips.

  “Is that Jake?” I jumped when Logan spoke. I had been lost for a moment, and now that I was processing what I just saw, I
knew I would be sick.

  “I need to get out of here,” I said as I fumbled with my keys.

  “Switch sides with me. I don’t think you should drive.” I glanced down at my shaking hands and knew he was right. I got out in a daze just as Jake tuned around. I looked in his direction long enough to see shock spread across his face. I was embarrassed, but I didn’t know why. I could feel tears welling up, and the lump in my throat was getting bigger and bigger. Logan managed to speed away just as Jake yelled my name.

  The realization of seeing my boyfriend kiss another girl sank in like little needles all over my skin, and it wasn’t long before I was a sobbing mess in the passenger seat. “I can’t believe he’d do this to me,” I cried into my hands. Logan parked in front of his house and put a comforting arm around me.

  “Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like.”

  I looked up from my hands to give him the meanest look I had. “Seriously?” I said in a broken voice.

  “Right. It was pretty clear. I’m really sorry you had to see that. Maybe it’s better you did, rather than him doing that behind your back.”

  “I’m not ready to be rational.”

  “Sorry. I’m no good at this,” he apologized. My phone had been buzzing the whole drive, no doubt from Jake. Logan looked at my phone then back up at me. “Maybe you should answer that.” I shook my head no then he surprised me by answering it for me.

  “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

  I could hear Jake on the other end. “Stay out of it. This is between Megan and me.”

  “Oh, you mean between Megan, you, and the blonde you were all over a little while ago?” Logan corrected sarcastically.

  “Tell her I need to explain.” Jake sounded angry.

  “What we saw was pretty self explanatory.” The line went dead after that. I promised Logan that I would be fine getting home and apologized for him having to witness me at my worst. To which he only responded with a sarcastic “really?”.