The Sunburnt Country

by Palmer, Fiona

  Jonny’s shoulders dropped. ‘No. This is my home. I have family here and I can’t walk away from them. I’d be depressed in the city; I can’t even handle a week without feeling like a caged animal. It would be better for you to stay.’ Jonny crossed her arms.

  ‘Yeah, maybe for you. I like how you think it’d be so easy for me to give up my life to stay here.’ Dan ran his hand through his hair. ‘We’ve only known each other a few months, it’d be ridiculous.’

  ‘So, you think what we have is nothing?’ Jonny waved her finger between them as her voice squeaked with emotion. ‘There’s nothing worth fighting for here?’

  ‘I don’t see you wanting to fight for it.’ There was venom in his words and his eyes swam with pain.

  Jonny was furious. ‘You’re right. You can’t make me choose between what I’ve loved my whole life compared to something that’s nothing!’ she spat, wanting to hurt him as much as he was hurting her. Didn’t he know he was grinding her heart with the sole of his well-polished shoe? She turned away from him and crossed her arms, her chest heaving like she’d just sprinted down the street.

  ‘Yeah, I guess not.’ His voice was a whisper.

  With a sigh that almost reverberated off the tin walls, Dan walked towards the door. Jonny heard his car door close with a clang and the motor start. She wanted to turn around, to see him one last time, but her pride stopped her. If only he would stride back, take her in his arms and say that they did have something worth fighting for. She heard his tyres crunch on the gravel and then there was nothing but the wind rattling the tin roof and a shed full of loss and devastating sadness.

  Chapter 34

  HOME sweet home. Dan chucked his car keys on the kitchen bench. They skidded along the smooth granite. His feet sank into the soft grey carpet as he took in the space. Why did his place suddenly feel cold, empty and strange? He roamed around his house, turning on some lights, using the bathroom, putting the television on so it didn’t seem so quiet. Feeling lost, Dan walked over to the kitchen, filled up his kettle and switched it on. While he was waiting for it to boil he pulled out his phone and flicked through his photos. It had been a long trip back to Perth, the road stretching for hours.

  He paused on a photo. It was of the road out of Bundara with its dilapidated sign. It may have been a silly nostalgic thing to do but he’d felt he needed a keepsake. Bloody Jonelle had rubbed off on him. The blue-grey bitumen stretched ahead with bare brown paddocks on either side right up to the centre of town. Pale yellow grasses edged the road. But the sky above Bundara went on forever, so open and so many shades of blue. Funny how all those things could turn a simple photo into something quite amazing.

  He flicked his finger across the phone and brought up another photo. Jonelle. Just seeing her green eyes and her skin glowing in the light of that fabulous sunset hurt his chest. No, he was wrong, it wasn’t just his chest. His whole body ached for her. He had a connection with Jonelle, some weird but amazing attraction that had seeped right into his soul and he’d called it nothing! Of course it had been something, right now his body was screaming at him as if it had lost a limb. But he had to move on, right? God knows how long he stared at her picture; it must have been a while because one of the removalist guys had opened his door, announced his arrival and let himself in to drop a box on the table. He was a big man with an arched back, probably from years of carrying stuff. His name was Bob or Bill, or something like that.

  ‘Oh, thanks.’ With a heavy sigh, he put down his phone and went to help the guys unpack his stuff.

  ‘Where do you want the bed and the cupboards?’ asked the removalist after they’d unloaded all of the smaller stuff. They stood out the front in his short driveway in the late afternoon as some of his neighbours returned from work. He lived just out of the city in a tiny block in Northbridge where everything now seemed so compact. He’d never noticed it before. The street seemed barely wide enough for a single car to pass, and there was no space at all between the houses – wall to wall, some of them were. God, Zac would hate it here after living with so much open space. So much freedom.

  Bill or Bob cleared his throat, still waiting for an answer.

  ‘Oh, would you mind dropping it off at the Salvo’s store for me? I don’t need any of it.’

  The guy with the monobrow and dark skin tilted his head. ‘You sure? It looks brand new.’

  ‘It practically is, but like I said, I don’t need it.’ Dan thanked him and walked back inside. He hoped the guy would honour his wishes and not keep it or sell it himself.

  Sitting down on his leather lounge, Dan looked at his watch. He didn’t feel like eating, which was a good thing as his fridge was empty, but maybe he’d get a takeaway pizza tonight and then go to bed. He ate out quite a bit. Why bother cooking for one? Besides, tonight he felt too exhausted for much else – more mentally than physically. His brain hadn’t stopped the whole drive back, thinking about his time at Bundara and how two months could feel like a lifetime. His body felt uncomfortable and out of whack, as if he’d just flown from France. Leaving had been so much harder than he’d thought it would be. His phone rang, shaking him out of his daze. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Mate, are you back yet? Do you need a hand unpacking? I can come around? Say in five minutes, maybe ten?’

  Dan smiled at the sound of Marcus’s voice. He was just like he sounded, full of energy. Trying to keep that man still was impossible, hence why he was competing in a triathlon.

  ‘I’ve just got home and I’m already unpacked.’ A slight lie but what he had to do wouldn’t take long. ‘I’m a bit buggered after the drive, though. Do you wanna catch up another day?’ To tell the truth, Dan just didn’t feel like company. If Marcus came over it would mean he had fully merged back into city life and it would push the last two months in Bundara further into his past. He didn’t want it to feel like it was years ago that he’d been there. Already the thin threads were slipping out of his grasp as life returned to normal.

  ‘Sure, Dan, sounds like a plan.’

  They chatted for another ten minutes, having a brief catch up, before Dan hung up. It was good to hear from Marcus, he had an infectious enthusiasm for life. But out of all his mates, Scott was the one he’d talk to about Jonelle, if he wanted to talk about her with someone. Scott, being married, had a better understanding than his other two single mates. But he wasn’t sure if he could mention her name yet without it hurting.

  After a shower, Dan headed to bed and slept heavily, thanks to the comfort of being back in his own bed The cars heading off to work woke him early. Funny, considering that during his first week in Bundara he hadn’t slept because it was so quiet. He’d missed the sounds of the traffic to start with. Sitting out the front of his little Bundara house, he’d enjoyed his morning coffee listening to the birds and the wind in the trees, and if he was lucky, he might have seen someone drive down the street.

  It was strange how things just didn’t seem right back home. It was obviously going to take some time to settle back in.

  He threw off his covers and got up. After dressing in shorts and the T-shirt he’d got from Bundara, he decided to go to his favourite café up the road for his usual latte and croissant. Then he’d need to go food shopping. Surely a full fridge would make him feel happier to be home.

  Grabbing his wallet, he headed out the door. It was just a short walk and the moment he entered the quaint older building the smell of real coffee awoke his senses.

  ‘A latte and a croissant?’ asked the young girl behind the counter. With her dark hair and piercings, she instantly reminded him of Gemma. He hoped Gemma was okay.

  ‘Yes, thanks. You’ve got a good memory, I haven’t been around for months,’ he said, handing over his money.

  ‘Well, you’ve been coming here for as long as I’ve had this job,’ she said with a smile. ‘And that’s over six months.’

  ‘Oh. Well, I’m Daniel. Dan. Nice to meet you . . .’

  ‘Geri,’ she said.

/>   ‘Hi, Geri. Thanks. I’ll be . . .’

  ‘Over in the corner at your usual spot?’

  Dan smiled. Geri must have been around Gemma’s age but she was more outgoing and more confident. She was tall and gangly, like a model.

  He took his change and jammed it back into his wallet as he sat down at his usual table by the large window in the corner of the exposed brick walls. He couldn’t tell you the number of times he’d stared through the glass, watching people and cars go by. Opposite the shop was another old building that had been turned into a business and beside it sat an old cottage. It hadn’t been renovated, like some of the houses in this prime real-estate area. Its rustic red bricks, bullnosed verandah and old chimney were hidden behind a screen of frangipani trees and a creeper. He’d seen the old lady who lived there out in her tiny garden from time to time, tending to her roses. Her house was probably heritage listed, he mused.

  ‘Here you are,’ said Geri, putting down his order. Her nails were painted black and she had a tiny tattoo on her wrist, a star of some sort.

  ‘Thanks, Geri.’ Dan realised how much nicer it was now that he knew the girl’s name. ‘So, are you from around here?’ he asked, nodding out the window.

  ‘Not originally. I’m from Narrogin. I’m flatting with a few friends while we go to TAFE,’ she said with her hands on her hips.

  ‘Really. I was in Narrogin recently. Small world, hey?’

  ‘Sure is.’ Geri saw the growing queue at the counter. ‘Work calls. I’ll catch ya later, Dan,’ she said with a friendly grin before ducking back to the customers.

  Dan picked up his latte, enjoying its rich flavour. So much better than instant. It’s funny how just having a friendly chat to Geri had improved his morning. Usually it was such an effort to avoid people and stay in his own bubble that he hadn’t realised life was easier just being sociable.

  As he munched on his croissant, he studied the little house over the road. The old lady appeared in her large straw hat and gloves with secateurs in hand. Her hips were wide in her floral dress and her steps were almost a wonky shuffle. Dan wondered how long she had lived there. Her whole life? Had she had kids and raised them all there too? As he stared at her, clipping the dead rose heads off, he thought of his mother and how she used to do the same.

  Right then it hit him, a sudden urge to see his old home, the one that held all his good childhood memories. He remembered Jonelle’s words about not having a picture of his old house and now it felt like something he needed. Right now, he wanted that photo more than anything. He wanted his home to feel warm and welcoming like the Baxters’ house.

  He finished his breakfast and waved goodbye to Geri, then headed home for his car. He took Beaufort Street out to Bayswater, guided by his memories. As he slowly passed the houses he began to remember them, even though some of them had changed. He pulled up out the front of the most familiar one of them all. The roses were still blooming along the front fence, and he wondered whether the new owners would have kept the roses out the back, too. The lawn looked well trimmed, and the birdbath still stood proudly as the centrepiece. Dan recalled running around and around it playing chasey. He got out of his car so he could take a photo. He hoped no one thought he looked too suspicious.

  He leant on his car and took a few snaps. The dark tiles on the roof looked like they’d been repainted recently and the driveway had been newly paved. The old handprints in the concrete that he and Cam had put there must be landfill now. At least the house had been loved.

  ‘Daniel?’

  Dan turned to the voice at the side of the kerb where a lady was walking a dog. Only it wasn’t just any lady.

  ‘Mum.’ Just seeing her brought all his anger to the surface. She was here all along, just walking her dog. He’d half hoped that maybe she’d moved or had some good reason for never coming to find him. Yet here she was. Why had she let him go? Had she stopped loving him? It was too much. Staggering backwards he moved towards his car.

  ‘Daniel, wait!’ she called, but it was too late. He had the car started and was off down the road, his pulse thumping in his veins louder than the tick of the motor. He watched her in the rear-view mirror, standing dumbly by the side of the road. Not even a step towards his departing car. Just like usual, she never tried to come after him.

  Chapter 35

  THREE days later Jonny was back in the shed, sweeping the concrete and dragging out the old lounge suite Ryan had dropped off for her. The beer fridge was full, the table was loaded with chips, dips and crackers, and Zac had brought in Renae’s barbecue, which sat at the mouth of the shed. Ryan was bringing the meat, Renae was doing a salad and Jonny’s mum had insisted on making something for them too. They were set.

  ‘Hey, Jonny. I brought the music.’ Renae put her iPod dock on the table and plugged it into the extension cord nearby. ‘I’ve put together an awesome playlist,’ she said.

  Jonny rested against her broom, watching Renae. ‘Sounds good, Nae.’

  Renae carried over a black bag. ‘And I’ve got my costume,’ she said with a wink. ‘Have you got yours organised?’

  ‘Yep.’ The last time they were all together talking about the shed bash, they’d somehow come up with the wacky idea to not go as themselves. ‘Ryan is easy to do. Shirts, shorts and boots, not that different from me,’ Jonny said with a laugh.

  ‘Yeah, I think we did okay getting to be the boys. Zac trying to take on me will be hilarious. I can’t wait.’ Renae’s eyes sparkled with fun.

  But Jonelle had been having a hard time finding the fun in anything these last few days. Every time she went past the bank or to Gabby’s shop for lunch, she thought of Dan. Just seeing her beat-up speedway car brought back all the memories of their time together. She had started pulling it apart, even though she couldn’t afford to go racing again. Stripping it back and inspecting the damage had kept her mind busy and she was thankful for the distraction.

  ‘Hey, you okay?’ Renae came and put her arm around Jonny.

  Jonny shrugged. ‘I’m missing Dan more than I thought I would,’ she said truthfully.

  ‘So you really cared about him, huh?’ Renae raised an eyebrow. ‘I didn’t realise it was that serious.’

  ‘It wasn’t. Well, it wasn’t meant to be. We knew how it was going to end, but I just couldn’t fight it, Nae. I’m sure I’ll get over him,’ she said, struggling with the words. ‘I just need a bit of time. Some good distractions, like tonight.’

  ‘That’s right. Come on, the boys will be here soon. Let’s go get dressed.’ Renae got up and turned her music on. The Black Eyed Peas blared out of the speakers, bouncing across the tin. Renae started grooving on the spot. ‘Now this is what we need. Some party music.’ She danced over and grabbed Jonny’s arm.

  Her energy was infectious, and so was the music. Together they danced their way to her room, and for a fleeting moment Jonny’s mind was somewhere other than lost in a faraway city.

  ‘There, you look fabulous,’ Renae said as she put the finishing touches on Jonny’s fake Ryan stubble. ‘I don’t know where you found that scruffy short wig but it really looks like Coop’s outta-control hair.’

  ‘Monique borrowed it from school while she was at work the other day. She got it from the kids’ dress-up box. Good, hey?’ Jonny had also borrowed Ryan’s shirt and his favourite farm shorts and they’d painstakingly drawn hair on her legs. Renae’s legs were the same – covered in thick drawn-on hairs. Renae had got one of Zac’s singlets, flattened her boobs with a bandage and filled her front with socks to finish the look. Jonny had tried to pin Renae’s hair back and under itself to look short. When they were ready, they swaggered out to the shed to wait for the boys and have a drink.

  ‘Oh my God!’ shrieked Renae as she spotted Zac walking into the shed. Jonny burst out laughing and applauded her brother for his Renae ‘do’. He had borrowed one of her black dresses, filled the cups with padding and wore a blonde wig.

  ‘That’s awesome,’ said Jonny
as she watched her brother stagger in on black strappy heels he’d borrowed. That’s when she noticed his legs. ‘You shaved your legs!’ she screeched.

  Renae spotted his smooth skin and practically wet herself laughing.

  ‘Hey, what kind of beautician would I be if I had gorilla legs?’ said Zac, as he tried to twirl a bit of blonde wig through his fingers like Renae did. He ended up pulling his fake hair askew. While Renae went to help him with it, Ryan turned up.

  Jonny cracked up again. ‘Hey, that’s cheating,’ she said as she pointed to the pair of her work overalls that he was wearing.

  ‘Just wait,’ said Ryan in a high-pitched voice. He also wore a long blonde wig.

  ‘God, don’t tell me you shaved your legs too!’

  Ryan’s brow creased as he glanced at Zac. ‘You didn’t?’ he said.

  ‘If you’re gonna do a job, you gotta do it properly.’ Zac beamed out one of his grins. ‘Besides, they’ll grow back. No biggie.’

  Ryan rolled his eyes at Zac before popping the top button on the overalls. Slowly he worked his way down the row of buttons before pulling them apart like a flasher.

  Underneath he wore one of Jonny’s singlets, stretched tight across his chest. She could see a bra underneath and his cleavage looked real. Jonny went over and poked one of his breasts, then raised a quizzical brow.

  ‘Cool, hey. Nae helped with that.’ Ryan reached up and fondled his own breast. ‘Feel real as.’ Then he pulled the implant out. ‘See, it’s a chicken fillet,’ he said as Zac walked over for a feel. The boys shared a similar glance, their minds working overtime.

  ‘Can I have one?’ asked Zac.

  ‘No! They’re my boobs. Go get your own.’

  Zac looked down. ‘But mine aren’t working. They don’t point right.’

  Jonny and Renae looked at each other before snorting with laughter. Jonny wiped her eyes. ‘Man, this has been the best night out and it hasn’t even started.’

  ‘Hey, but I haven’t finished yet,’ said Ryan as he snatched back his padded insert and fixed himself. Then he pushed the overalls down to the floor.