REMEMBER ME: GODS OF CHAOS MC

by Palomino, Honey

  “Riot?”she asked, that eyebrow arched again, and once again she winced in pain.

  “Yes. He’s a real gentleman, I think you’ll like him,”I replied, winking at her.

  “Oh, sure, okay. That’s a good idea, I guess,”she replied quietly. She seemed defeated, entirely confused and lost. I felt terrible for her. I couldn’t imagine what she must be feeling.

  “Okay, so I’m going to have Riot come in here, okay? I’ll introduce you to the rest of the clubhouse tomorrow. Hopefully, you won’t be too overwhelmed, they’re a rowdy bunch.”

  “Sure, okay. Thank you.” Her eyes misted over and she turned away from me.

  “Where are my clothes?”she asked.

  “Oh, right over here,”I replied, showing her the tiny pile of clothes on the chair by the window.

  She walked over to them, and gingerly picked up the high heels and the blood-spattered denim skirt. She searched in the pockets that I already knew were completely empty and dropped them back on the chair. She lifted the black, torn tank top and let it slide from her hands as she turned back to me.

  “I don’t think I want to wear those.”

  “No, I don’t imagine you would. Maybe one of the other ladies has something else we can find for you later.”

  “Okay, sure. This’ll do for now,”she said, gesturing to Cherry’s sweatpants and my t-shirt.“Are there a lot of other ladies here?”

  “Well, there’s a few. Valerie is Zander’s old lady. Zander’s our VP. Cherry and Tiff hang out quite a lot, they pretty much live here. And every now and then, a new girl will show up for a while. Most of the girls that do can’t handle the scene for too long, so they split pretty quickly.”

  “Oh,”she replied, her eyes widening curiously. I was probably making everything sound a lot worse than it really was. I decided to just shut my mouth and let her see for herself.

  “I’ll be right back with Riot,”I said, turning for the door.

  She sat on the bed again, looking so lost and out of place, that it made me want to hug her. I felt terrible for her. I didn’t hug her, though. I walked out the door to find Riot, determined to help her find the answers she desperately needed.

  ***

  “There’re thousands of missing people in Oregon, Miss,” Riot said, his fingers tapping furiously on the laptop keyboard. He smelled like beer and weed.“But there haven’t been any missing women reported around these parts in the last three days. It’s entirely possible you could be from a different state. And maybe your appearance has changed? I’ll just scroll through real slow, and maybe you’ll see something that looks familiar.”

  Riot sat next to her on the small couch in my room, her eyes intently searching the missing persons listings he was showing her. So far, we had checked every county in the states of both Oregon and Washington, and had come up entirely empty. No news stories, nothing on the police scanners, nothing at all. The few listings we did see, there was no sign of her face.

  Her eyes clouded over with defeat as each minute passed. It hurt to watch her go through this. Each new search that Riot performed churned up new hope, and with each disappointment, she became more and more sad. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes misted over when Riot ran out of ideas.

  “Let me keep thinking, and keep searching the local listings. Something has to turn up. It’s hard without even a kernel of info to search with, but at least we know what you look like, right?”he asked.

  Riot was a huge, gruff, bearded tattooed burly ex-boxer. He had seen better days, and while his professional fighting days were long over, he still craved his fighting time with Slade and the other boys. Sometimes, I suspected he just let Slade win for the hell of it. Riot had a heart of gold, he just liked to live on the edge a little. He just happened to be an electronics and computer geek at the same time.

  “Okay, thank you, Riot,”she said, looking completely dejected and exhausted, despite the fact that she had just slept three entire days. She looked up at me, those big green eyes peering right through my soul.

  “You look tired,”I said. “Maybe you should lay down again? You took quite a blow to the head—”

  “I was just coming in here to say exactly that!”Doc interrupted, his bellowing voice entering the room before his portly body did. “Everyone out! The lady needs her rest.”

  She looked at the both of us, her eyes filled with gratitude.

  “Yeah, I’m pretty tired, I guess…”she replied.

  “I’ll keep you posted. See you later, Miss,”Riot said, patting her shoulder and leaving the room. Doc followed him after helping her into bed.

  I sat down in my usual chair right next to the bed without thinking. As she sat there blinking at me, I was stricken by how huge her eyes were, and I remembered the damned owl outside. Was he out there? Did he know she was awake now?

  “Um…”she said, her voice tired and quiet.

  “Yes?”I asked.

  “I don’t think you need to keep vigil at my bedside anymore, Ryder,”she said.

  “Oh!” Of course, I didn’t. “Well, right, of course. I, um…yeah, okay. You get some rest, and we’ll talk in the morning.”

  “Okay,”she said. I jumped up and began walking towards the door. “I think it might be good for me to spend some time alone anyway. I’ve got so many questions, Ryder. I feel so weird and lost. But thank you for…well, everything.”

  I turned back to her, and felt the glimpse of something almost unrecognizable in my chest. I wanted to save her. I wanted to solve all her problems for her, and I didn’t even know her fucking name.

  “Sure, of course, we’ll talk tomorrow. Good night.” I closed the door behind me, shook off that stupid knight in shining armor shit and thundered down the hall.

  Doc and Riot were waiting for me, sitting in the living room huddled around a bottle of whiskey. Without asking, they poured me a shot. I downed it, and then downed three more in quick succession.

  “You okay, boss?”Doc asked.

  “Yeah, I guess,”I said, taking the joint from Riot as he passed it to me. “I just have no clue what to do with this woman.”

  I sat there all night, thinking, trying to come up with some sort of a plan. Instead, the only thing I succeeded in doing was getting completely wasted.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Grace

  I slept like a brick. No dreams, no tossing and turning, just good, solid sleep. I woke up at noon, according to the clock by Ryder’s bedside. I felt terrible for taking his bed again, and I wasn’t unaware of the fact that it had been days since he had last slept in his own bed. But he had made me nervous about what lay outside the door of this room, and after looking for hours through missing persons with Riot last night, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. There was no way I could face whatever was waiting for me on the other side of his door. Not the clubhouse. Not the world. Not my past.

  I was weak, sore and exhausted. But when I finally woke up, way too many hours later to be polite, I felt almost as good as new. I was stiff from spending so many hours on Ryder’s lumpy mattress, but other than that, I felt strong.

  Sunlight streamed in through the only window in Ryder’s room, and I spent a peaceful few moments alone before I heard a knock at the door.

  “Come in,”I said. The door opened, and instead of Ryder’s face like I was expecting, two women, who couldn’t have been more opposite from each other, walked in. The short, curvy orange-haired lady smiled at me through her gum-smacking, red-painted lips, her hands holding a pile of clothes. The other girl was younger, taller, her dark hair framing an innocent looking face. She held up a pair of sneakers, hanging from her hooked fingers. Her arms crushed her breasts together to form an obscenely magnificent display of cleavage that threatened to bust out of her tiny pink crop top.

  “Hi, there, darlin’!”The older lady cooed as they strode towards me. “We’ve been dyin’to get close to you, I mean…to meet you. We’re so glad you’re awake! I’m Cherry, and this is Tiff.”

&
nbsp; They were standing in front of me now, as I stood next to the bed. Their gaze traveled up and down my body as they laid the clothes and shoes beside me.

  “Hi, I’m - um, um…”Well, shit. How do you introduce yourself when you can’t even remember who the hell you are? My eyes welled up with tears for the first time since I had cried myself to sleep last night.

  “Oh, honey! It’s okay, we know, we know…”Cherry patted my back as Tiff stood to the side, nodding and sucking her teeth. “We’ll figure out a name for you. Ryder told us everything, don’t worry. You don’t have to explain yourself at all.”

  I nodded gratefully, and sat down on the bed.

  “Thank you,”I said quietly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Oh, yes, you too. Ryder said you might need some clothes, so we gathered up a whole bushel of stuff here for you. Just go ahead and dig through and use whatever you want, darlin’. Some of it’s mine, and some of it’s Tiff’s.”

  “Thank you,”I said again.

  “Of course, darlin’, of course,”Cherry said.“Oh, bless your lil’heart,” she drawled.

  She seemed older than me, her slightly wrinkled face just starting to show her age. She was gorgeous, though. You could tell that she was a knock-out when she was younger. “Alrighty, so listen, we’re about to make breakfast for the whole crew, so you should join us.”

  I smiled, and Tiff sat down next to me on the bed.

  “So,”she said, peering at me curiously.“You can’t remember anything at all, huh?”

  “No, I -,”

  “Tiff! Don’t be rude, now!” Cherry admonished her.

  “No, no, it’s okay,”I said, smiling at them, grateful for the chance to be around some feminine energy. I turned to Tiff and answered her question.

  “I can’t remember anything about who I am, no,”I said.

  “Well, like, what do you remember?”she asked. “Like, do you know what year it is? Or who the president is?”

  “Yeah,”Cherry said,“maybe we can help you remember. Not all at once, or anything, but you know, maybe we can jog your memory with little things or something. I saw something like this once on an episode of CSI. A woman got hit on the head, forgot everything about herself, but she knew all about the world, and different facts about different cultures, and she was an expert on astronomy all of a sudden! And she woke up knowin’how to speak French, of all things!”

  I shook my head as I listened to her rattle on.

  “Have you tried that?”she asked.

  “Tried what?”I replied.

  “Speaking another language. Maybe you’ll be able to now, you know, unless you did already, but I guess you wouldn’t know that, huh? Shit. You know, I read about this other man that woke up knowin’how to play the piano like a virtuoso! Can you believe that? Well, I tell you, it’s crazy, ain’t it?”

  I nodded, listening to her words, and wishing she was right.

  “At this point, I’d be happy to learn anything about myself, whether I knew how to do it before or not,”I said to them.

  “Oh, bless your lil’heart,”Cherry said, patting my knee. They were both sitting on the bed beside me now, sandwiching me in a three-way hug of concern.

  It felt good.

  “Is the president Barack Obama?”I asked Tiff.

  “Yep!”she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up enthusiastically. “That is exactly right! See, you didn’t forget everything. There’s hope!”

  I smirked. She was right. I was just getting started, and hopefully everything would come back to me quickly. I just needed to fill in some holes, that’s all.

  “Yes, I believe there is, Tiff.”

  “Oh, that’s just wonderful, ain’t it?”Cherry said. “Okay, so let’s leave you alone to get dressed in somethin’that might fit you better. You sure got yourself a pretty little figure, don’t you? All right, when you’re ready, just come on out to the kitchen, to the right of the hallway. Breakfast won’t take long to cook. Do you,”she paused before reconsidering her question. “Well, my goodness, I was goin’to ask how you like your eggs? Well, ain’t that somethin’? Maybe you don’t even know, honey?”

  “Scrambled. Hard scrambled,”I replied, without thinking about the answer first. I gasped, and put a hand over my mouth in surprise. A slow smile crept across my face.

  “See!” Tiff said again. “There’s hope!”

  “Well, alrighty then, there you go!”Cherry said. “See you in a bit. Don’t take too long, now, you hear?”

  “Okay, sure,”I replied, watching them walk out the door. “Thank you.”

  Alone again, I rifled through the pile of clothes they brought. I found a pair of jeans that thankfully fit me well. A plain black t-shirt replaced Ryder’s white one that had allowed everyone else a plain view of my nipples so far. A clean pair of socks and the sneakers Tiff had brought made me feel almost normal. The girls hadn’t thought to bring me any underwear, but I was grateful for that, because the thought of wearing someone else’s underwear wasn’t appealing.

  I took a deep breath and opened the door. Peeking out, I saw nothing but an empty hallway that led to a big, open room. The smell of bacon hit me first, and my stomach growled. I was ravenous. Throwing caution to the wind, I walked down the hall. Rounding the corner, I saw men scattered everywhere. Talking, laughing, drinking, eating. All shapes and sizes, but the one thing they all had in common was that patched leather vest that was flung across their backs. The same one I had seen Ryder and Doc and Riot wearing. And tattoos. They were slathered in so many tattoos, it made me wonder if they had an in-house tattoo artist.

  Cherry and Tiff saw me and ran over, guiding me to the kitchen table. The clubhouse was a real house, and the kitchen opened up to the living room where most of the men were situated. I watched from the table as people circled around me, not paying me much more attention than an occasional curious glance.

  Riot was standing in the corner, talking intensely with a skinny guy with a crooked grin. Doc was sitting in a worn leather recliner by the window, wearing glasses and reading a newspaper. Everyone else was moving through the living room on their way to somewhere else. It was busy, but not the chaotic scene I had imagined from Ryder’s description.

  Ryder. Where was Ryder? I wondered.

  I looked around for him for a few minutes before I asked Cherry where he was. Her back was turned towards me as she tended to the bacon she was cooking. A huge pile sat on the stove next to her.

  She turned to me, and this time her smile was tight and hard. She seemed different than she was in the bedroom.

  “Ryder?”she asked. “Oh, he’s off being Ryder. He never really tells me where he’s going. Or anyone else for that matter.”

  “Oh. Um, well is he coming back?”I asked, pressing the point. I felt like he was my only real ally in this strange house, and realizing he wasn’t even here at all, made the panic start to rise in me again.

  “Don’t worry, Sleeping Beauty,”she snarled. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

  “Oh, sure, okay…”I said, looking around the place again. I felt completely alone and awkward. The panic grew to an overwhelming level, and I stood up quickly. I had to do something or I was going to go crazy.

  “Is there something I can do to help?” I asked Tiff and Cherry’s backs. They turned simultaneously, and I thought I saw a flash of kindness return to Cherry’s eyes.

  “No, darlin’, not at all. We’re almost done, actually. Just a few more minutes. Why don’t you go out and get some fresh air or something? I’d bet you’d like that, you haven’t left Ryder’s bedroom in four days!”

  She had a good point. Air. Wide-open sky.

  “Okay, that’s a wonderful idea. Thank you, Cherry,”I said.

  “Sure, darlin’, you just go on. I’ll call you when breakfast is ready,”she said.

  I walked into the living room, and Doc looked up from his newspaper, spotting me for the first time.

  “Well, hello there! You look just great. H
ow are you feeling?”he peered at me over the top of his reading glasses, his concerned eyes squinting at me.

  “I feel really good. I slept a lot,”I said.

  “Well, that’s good, that’s real good. You remember anything yet? It might take a while,”he said.

  “No, I haven’t,”I replied, sighing with disappointment. “I don’t know how to rush it along either.”

  “Well, I don’t think excessively thinking about it will help at all. Just do your best to relax and things will probably start coming back slowly. Just take your time,”he added, smiling at me. “You’re safe here.”

  “Thank you so much,”I said.“I’m going to get some fresh air for a few minutes.”