Redemption (A Golden Beach Novel Book 5)
Page 21
“He went in this afternoon. Covering for Sullivan. Poor boy was sick as a dog.”
She hung up without another word, letting Marianne’s information sink in. Her chest tightened, head spun, and suddenly the room was too warm as her breaths became labored. “No, no, no.” Turning to face Valerie, she took her friend’s hand. “Michael’s on shift.”
“If they haven’t called, they must be okay. If something had happened to them Chief Roman would have contacted us. They have to. It’s protocol.”
Nodding, Lena worked to control the shaking in her hands as her eyes drifted to the screen, now returned to show the husk of the burned-out building. A sob caught in her throat as the camera zoomed in on an ambulance and two EMTs as they loaded a man into the ambulance. The familiar black and yellow bunker gear stood out, but his face was covered by an oxygen mask. “They got someone out. That’s a good sign, right? If they got one, they must have the others.”
Pushing herself off the stool, Valerie hitched her purse higher on her shoulder and stared at Lena with determination on her face. “Come on. I’m not waiting around for a phone call. Let’s get to the hospital.”
Nodding, Lena followed, her nerves humming and jumping under her skin like live wires.
This wasn’t how she was going to lose him.
If she had it her way, she wasn’t going to lose him at all.
Lena’s knuckles were white as she gripped the leather steering wheel for dear life. Stopped at a traffic light, she looked out at the horizon at what would usually be considered an amazing sunset. She could imagine people in town going about their business without a care in the world, pausing to appreciate the gorgeous colors splashed across the sky.
She hated them. Why were they allowed this beautiful, peaceful moment when she and Valerie were hanging on by threads?
“Anything?” she asked, glancing at Valerie in the passenger seat. Her friend had been calling Donovan and the firehouse over and over during their drive.
With a trembling lip, Valerie shook her head and swiped the tears off her cheeks. “No one is answering. Why aren’t they answering?”
“I’m sure they’re still at the call. We don’t even know the names of the missing guys. Maybe it’s not Station 31. I bet when we get to the hospital no one we know will be there.” The words felt hollow as they left her lips. A heavy sense of dread covered her, making her heart ache and her stomach feel sick. Deep down, she knew this was close to home.
Nodding, Valerie exhaled a long breath. “When I finally get ahold of Donovan, he’s in for it. I’m talking no sex for a week.”
A nervous laugh escaped Lena at Valerie’s attempt at levity. “Poor guy. Maybe you should take it out on him in a different way, that sounds like a punishment for you, too. There’s a reason I bake. I take my frustration out on the ingredients.”
As they pulled into the hospital parking lot, Valerie’s gaze locked on the Battalion Chief’s bright red SUV. Killing the engine, Lena grasped the door handle with a shaking hand. Valerie’s phone rang as they walked across the parking lot, stopping them in their tracks.
“Hello?”
As her friend listened to the voice on the other end of the line, Lena watched in fear. Valerie’s expression turned from hopeful to shattered.
“We’re at the hospital now. Is . . . Is he going to make it?” Her voice trembled, turning to a whisper at the end of her question.
“Okay, uh, thank you, Chief Roman. I’m on my way inside.”
Hanging up, she turned watery eyes on Lena. “Donovan was shot. Th . . . They pulled him from the rubble. He’s in surgery.” Her breaths came in harsh gasps as a panic attack took over. “I can’t . . . I can’t breathe. It’s him. I can’t believe it’s him.”
Wrapping an arm around her friend, Lena held her close, pulling her toward the doors. They had to get inside and get more information. Maybe then the harsh pounding of her pulse in her ears would stop and she could take a full breath without her chest aching.
The moment the doors slid open a wave of nausea washed through her. The emergency room was a sea of faces, most of whom she’d seen before. Guys from A and C shift sat cradling cups of coffee, eyes tired and ringed with dark circles. Scanning the men and women crowding the waiting room, her heart sank with each person she saw. Michael wasn’t there. When her eyes connected with the serious gaze of Chief Roman, a heavy weight landed on her chest. The sympathy on his face said it all.
“Where is he?” she asked.
The man placed his large, dark hand on her shoulder. “He’s okay. They’re just checking him out, making sure he doesn’t have any internal injuries.”
“What?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She’d been so sure God wouldn’t grant her another chance with Michael. “Can I see him?”
Chief Roman shook his head. “I don’t know where he is right now. And . . . I’m not sure he’ll want to see you.”
Hot tears burned the corners of her eyes, but she held up her head, and stared the big man down. “I’m not leaving until I see him with my own eyes. You can tell him that.”
Hours passed as she and Valerie waited. Valerie twirled her engagement ring around and around on her finger, alternating between smiling and crying. When Valerie’s family arrived, Lena offered them a soft smile and a wave. She dropped her head into the cradle of her hands as her friend rushed to the arms of her family.
She must’ve fallen asleep like that, hunched over, on the verge of tears, because she woke to the feeling of fingers running through her hair. A sob caught in her throat when she saw the familiar uniform boots next to her feet.
“Baby, don’t cry.” Michael’s voice sent a wave of relief through her. With a choked sob, she sat up and took in his weary, beautiful face.
His left arm was in a sling, eyes pinched with pain, but as she looked him over, she saw he was whole. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around him, holding on as best as she could without hurting him.
“I got your message,” he murmured into her hair, his good arm coming around her and pulling her tighter against him.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought you—” He silenced her with a gentle press of his lips to hers.
“Stop. We’re here, right now, together. I don’t want to think about what happened. There’s so much more waiting for us from right now. All you need to know is that I love you. I’ve loved you since that fucking monkey bread. We were both so scared of the same thing that we lost sight of what we have together. I know it sounds cheesy, but when that floor gave out under my feet, the one thing I saw was you. I saw your face and knew I needed to get the hell out of there so I could tell you I wasn’t done with us. I won’t give up on us.”
Joy radiated through her as he kissed her forehead and just held his lips there, not moving, not letting her go.
Chapter 28
Michael woke with a scream caught in his throat. His heart hammered against his ribcage as he tried to pull himself from the clutches of the nightmare.
Collapsing ceilings.
He was falling into flames . . .
Nausea rolled his stomach and he clenched his teeth, breathing deeply through his nose as he tried to regain control. His body ached all over.
A warm hand slid across his chest in soothing circles. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.” Lena’s voice was like a balm, healing and bringing him back to reality.
The erratic beating of his heart slowed as she trailed soft kisses over his shoulder and onto his chest. “Sorry. Bad dream.”
“You want to tell me about it?”
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Did he? It was all a blur. “No. Go back to sleep. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
Settling herself on his chest, she wrapped her arm around
him and snuggled in. He inhaled the scent of her hair and tried to go back to sleep, wishing away the memory of ash burning his eyes, and the grit of powdered sheetrock in his mouth. He should be thankful that he was home, in his bed, with Lena. Both Donovan and Klipper were still in the hospital, still in critical condition, fighting for their lives. The asshole who’d shot Donovan was fine.
With a gentle hand, he moved Lena off his body, needing to do something to distract himself from the anxiety and fear of the unknown future ahead. These guys were his family. He couldn’t lose another one of them.
After showering, he started a pot of coffee brewing and wandered the dark house, trying to ease some of the stiffness in his limbs. He wanted to call the hospital, check on Klip and Donovan, but it was three in the morning, and they wouldn’t give him information over the phone anyway. Staring out the large glass doors that led to the back yard, he got lost in thought as he contemplated ways he could have kept them all safe. Things he could have done differently.
The soft scrape of ceramic against granite turned his attention from the thoughts of what if to the kitchen where Lena stood, pouring coffee into two mugs.
“Can’t sleep?”
He shrugged, trying to play it off. “I’m good.”
“No, you’re not. There’s a lot happening in your head, and your heart. You’ve just been handed more than anyone should have to deal with at one time. I’m sorry I added to that.”
Crossing the room, he pulled her to him as panic rose in his chest. The instant he breathed her in, he calmed. “It wasn’t just you. You were right, I didn’t put you first. I hadn’t let go of the idea of Kate because I thought that was love.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t. You are love. You were willing to let me go because you thought I’d be happier without you. You were damn wrong, but you did it because you loved me.”
“And because I was afraid.”
His chest hurt at the thought that she might still feel that way. “I’ll never leave you, Lena. As long as my heart beats, it’s yours.” Leaving his coffee forgotten, he cupped her chin between his fingers and turned her face up to meet his. “I love you.” Their mouths were a breath away, his hips pressed against hers. “I need you. Let me inside you, baby. Let me have you.”
He felt her hips grind into him and let out a groan. He was hard and aching for her. It had been so long and he needed her. The thin fabric of his sweatpants did little to conceal the straining erection beneath. Her lips ghosted over his, denying him the connection he so desperately wanted as she slid the straps of her nightgown down her arms, letting the satin pool to the floor. She was gloriously naked before him making him curse the dislocated shoulder and sling that accompanied the injury. He wanted his hands on every inch of her body, both of his hands.
Her fingers blazed a trail over his bare chest and down to the waistband of his pants, sending fire through his blood. When she dropped to her knees he sucked in a sharp breath, knowing what was coming. Slowly, she sat back on her heels and slipped his sweats over his hips and down until his cock sprang free, begging to be touched. Anticipation had his whole body tense as he stood over her.
“You’re killing me,” he murmured.
She rose on her knees and traced the line of his hips with both hands, never touching his aching erection. It was equal parts torture and amazing. With a feather-light touch, her lips grazed his hip. Her hair brushed the head of his arousal, making him shudder. His jaw clenched as her mouth came closer to the place he needed her the most, and when her lips closed over his tip, he had to stop himself from thrusting into her.
“Oh, fuck. Baby, I’ve missed your mouth.”
She responded with a moan that sent vibrations down his shaft and had his eyes rolling back in his head. If he didn’t stop himself, he’d orgasm before they really got started. As she took him in and out, he gripped her hair with his good hand and fought the urge to let himself go. The intensity built until he reached his breaking point. Gritting his teeth, he bit out a harsh cry and pulled away from her.
“Why did you stop?” She looked up at him, cheeks flushed, lips swollen.
“I want to be inside you when I finish. I want to make you come right along with me.”
With a slight nod, she stood, crushing her lips to his, all teasing gone. She broke the kiss, breathing hard and took his hand, leading him to the bedroom. In a few weeks, when he had the use of both arms, he’d lift her and press her against the wall so he could fuck her hard, then follow up with a soft and tender lovemaking session. Now, he needed her to take control.
“Let me take care of you,” she whispered as she pressed him back against the mattress. “I want to love you.”
He groaned at the sight of her. “God, I fucking want you to.”
She crawled over him and grasped his cock, positioning it at her opening. In one smooth movement, she sank down onto him, letting out a small moan as he filled her. “I love you,” she sighed.
Unable to stop himself, he kicked his hips forward, thrusting up and deeper inside her. She cried out and shuddered, moving in steady, rhythmic strokes, and riding him with a confident familiarity. Her hair fell over her shoulders, the ends barely covering her nipples as she moved up and down his length. Reaching up, he brushed the long locks of dark hair behind her shoulders so he could see her breasts bounce with the movement of her hips. Her nipples stiffened and a flush crept up her chest as she tightened around him and picked up the pace—chasing her release. He was close, the tingling ache in his balls a signal that he’d almost reached the point of no return. Sweeping his thumb across the rise of her clit, he moved over her in small, tight circles. The clench of her walls around him made him harden even further and the moment she threw her head back with a cry, he lost it. Hips rising off the bed, he let go of his control and pulsed long and deep inside of her.
Breathing heavily, she smiled down at him. Her skin was slick with sweat, making her shine in the dim light. He wanted nothing more than to roll her over and take her again, but that would have to wait. As she moved off his body, she let out a soft sigh.
“I’ll be right back. I’ve got to clean up.”
As he watched her walk away, his heart gave a squeeze, but for the first time in a long time, he let himself feel happiness. She was his.
Drifting back to sleep, he dreamed of her, of the smell of her skin on his sheets, and the warmth of her body.
The song, “Cherry Pie” roused Lena from sleep. Frowning, she blinked a few times, before sitting up and searching for the source of the noise.
“Dammit.” Michael’s voice carried from the hallway as the song cut off. “Hello?”
She listened, hearing his murmured conversation but was unable to discern his words. Getting out of bed, she pulled one of his GBFD shirts over her head and slipped a pair of his boxers over her hips. Not the best fit, but all of her clothes were still in New York, and anything she’d packed to bring home was at her mom’s house. Padding down the hall, she stood in the kitchen, watching him as he talked. His back was to her, the thick muscles tensing as he listened to whoever was on the other line.
“But they said he was doing better. The surgery was successful.”
Her pulse quickened.
“Who is going to give them the news?” His shoulders slumped. “Is she okay? God, I’m sure she’s a mess. She loved him so much.”
Something was very wrong. Please don’t let it be Donovan. Feeling sick, she pulled out a barstool and sat before she fell over. He must have heard the scrape of the stool on the floor because his back stiffened and he turned to face her. The look in his eyes said it all. Someone was dead.
“Thanks for letting me know, Chief.” He hung up without taking his eyes off her.
“What happened?” She hated the wobble in her voice.
“Klipper. He, uh . . .” His li
p trembled and a tear spilled down his cheek. “He didn’t . . .”
Her stomach clenched. “Oh, my God.”
“Son-of-a-bitch!” He grabbed his coffee mug from the counter and threw it across the room.
She couldn’t hide her flinch as the cup shattered against the wall. The dark liquid ran down the cream-colored paint, staining the wall with streaks of coffee.
Chest heaving, he closed his eyes and balled his fists. Everything about his posture said she should stay away, but she couldn’t. Taking the few remaining steps between them, she wrapped her arms around his waist and held him. His entire body trembled around her as he gave in and let the sobs come.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.” She repeated the meaningless words over and over, unsure of what else she could say as he fell apart.
Pulling away from her, he dropped a soft kiss to her forehead and took a harsh breath. “I’ve got to go. His parents are still in Rochester, but he’s got a sister in Norfolk. I need to go with the chief to let her know.”
Nodding, she stepped back, giving him space. Grabbing a towel, she started mopping up the coffee.
“Shit. I’m sorry, baby. Don’t clean up my mess. I’ll take care of it.”
Ignoring him, she collected the big pieces of the mug and wiped down the wall as best as she could. “No. You go get cleaned up. What can I do to help?”
Raking his free hand through his hair, he sighed. “I don’t know. Just . . . be here? I need you here with me when I get home.”
“Sure. I’ve got to get my stuff from Mom’s, and I need to see her today. I’d planned to visit her yesterday but . . .”
“Right. I’ll call you when we’re on our way back. We’ll be with her for a while. There’s a lot to do.” Turning to walk back to the bedroom, he looked over his shoulder. “Thank you.”