Redemption (A Golden Beach Novel Book 5)

by Kim Loraine

  “I love you, Michael.”

  “God, I love you, too, baby.”

  As he walked away, she let out a shuddering breath. Guilt flowed through her like a raging river. She couldn’t fathom Klipper being gone, but her first thought when she’d heard someone had died was that Valerie had lost Donovan. When Michael had said Klipper’s name, a wave of relief had washed over her, immediately followed by remorse. What was wrong with her?

  The sound of the shower running helped bring her out of her own head and back to the present. She needed to get herself together. This had to bring back so many memories for Michael. She remembered clearly the weeks after John’s death. Michael had been a shell of himself; careless, angry, and bitter. Worry clutched at her as she wandered into the bedroom, listening to the water rain down in the bathroom.

  He’d get through this. The last time he’d been alone. Things were different now and she wasn’t going to let him deal on his own.

  Chapter 29

  The funeral was set to start in a matter of hours and Michael couldn’t control his panicked breaths. He stared at himself in his dress uniform, remembering back to the same moment at John’s funeral years ago. How was he doing this again? The sling holding his left arm stood out against the dark blue of his uniform, making him frown. He couldn’t even be a pallbearer for his friend.

  “Hey, are you ready? Do you need help with anything?” Lena’s husky voice floated into the room, bringing comfort.

  “I’m good. I think I’ve got it all.” He glanced at the mourning band covering his badge. “Actually, my damn sling is blocking my badge. Can you adjust it so it’s not in the way?”

  She stood in front of him, her long hair cascading over one shoulder. Her brows furrowed and lips turned down in a frown as she fiddled with the strap of the sling. “There. Does that feel okay?”

  Letting out a heavy breath, he nodded. “Thank you.”

  “Is this dress good? I had to go buy one. I’ve never been to a funeral.” She skimmed her hands over the black fabric.

  Unable to resist letting his gaze rake over her body, he took in the demure dress. The sleeves were sheer, letting just a hint of her skin show through while the rest of the fabric was solid, fitted at her waist and fell to her knees. She looked tragically beautiful.

  “You’re perfect.”

  “Valerie says Donovan is going to be there. He has to be in a wheelchair, but he’s feeling a lot better.”

  He nodded. “I talked to him this morning. Doctor says he’s got months of rehab before he’ll be back at work. The bullet broke his femur.”

  “It’s only been a week. I can’t believe they let him out of bed.”

  “That guy is a tank. Donovan broke his finger playing a game of basketball at the station once. He splinted it and worked the rest of the shift without complaining. We didn’t know he was hurt until he had to take medical leave because the chief made him.”

  “I used to think he was an ass. I’m so glad he turned out to be a good guy.” He smiled when her face lit up with laughter.

  “He’s one of the best men I know. In the end, I’d want him to have my back.”

  Lena stood slightly behind him and stared at their reflection in the mirror. “You see that guy? He’s the best man I know.”

  His phone beeped from his pocket, reminding him of the time. There were a lot of things to attend to before the service and he had to get to the station. Pulling Lena in for a kiss, he held her tightly, not wanting to let her go.

  “I love you,” he murmured against her lips.

  “I know you do. I’ll see you at the church.”

  With a curt nod, he straightened his shoulders as much as he could, and grabbed his hat. Today wasn’t going to be easy, but knowing she was there with him made it bearable.

  Lena hadn’t ever cried so much in her life. She’d been lucky enough to never experience a loss like this. Sure, she’d known John, and when he’d been killed the town mourned. But he wasn’t a friend, wasn’t someone she’d grown to like. Klipper had become so much more than the annoying loudmouth she’d first met.

  She’d watched Michael at the church, his posture stiff and controlled as he sat on the front pew, right next to Donovan. Her heart broke for them both as they went through the motions, paying their respects. This crew had gone through too many funerals.

  Now, standing behind Michael at the burial, she just wanted it to be over. She wanted to be able to comfort him, to let him lose himself in her however he needed. A steady stream of tears fell down her cheeks, her face hurt from crying, and she didn’t know how much more she could take.

  “It’s almost over,” Valerie whispered, grasping her hand and giving it a squeeze. “I know it’s hard.”

  Shaking her head, Lena murmured, “This isn’t about me. I just didn’t realize how sad it was going to be. My heart hurts.”

  The radio crackled and let off a tone before dispatch came on to give Klipper his last call. Each time his name was called, the muscles in Michael’s neck and jaw flexed. She ached to close the distance between them. If he wasn’t there in an official capacity she could put her hand on his uninjured shoulder and remind him that she was right there, hurting with him.

  With the final strains of the bagpipes still echoing, Klipper was laid to rest and the sea of blue uniformed firefighters began making their way back to their normal days. Lena was sure that some of them would return to their homes and families, moving on without much more than an occasional pang of sadness. But the guys from Station 31 wouldn’t. This was a hole in their tight knit family. A loss that would leave a gaping wound for years.

  Following Valerie to her car, Lena watched Michael with longing lodged deep inside her. He walked alongside Donovan and Sully, all three of them wearing grim expressions.

  “I wish I could be with him,” she said, working to keep the tremble from her voice.

  “Me, too. Things will be different later. Tonight at the Bar and Grill it’ll be easier. You’ll see. This is the hardest part. It’s so somber, but for good reason. It reminds them . . . all of us, how dangerous their job is. The wrong place at the wrong time for any of them and—”

  “Stop. I don’t want to think about it.” Her pulse thrummed in her ears and a cold pit formed in her stomach.

  Valerie stopped in her tracks and pulled Lena into a tight hug. “I’m so glad you two worked your shit out.”

  God, so was she.

  Her friend released her and unlocked her car. “We’d better get over to The Bar. I want to make sure the food is ready before everyone arrives.”

  Klipper’s favorite place to hang out had been the local dive, The Golden Beach Bar and Grill. Lena smiled at the memory of nights spent laughing as he made a fool of himself, drinking too much and pretending to sing karaoke on the stage. They hadn’t had a karaoke machine back then. Today, as she walked inside, the first thing she noticed was the DJ set up with a monitor and a microphone. The tables held big binders with laminated pages of songs available for performers to choose from.

  “He finally got his Friday karaoke,” she muttered under her breath.

  A perky blonde with big boobs smiled and waved as Lena made her way to a stool. She was wearing a shirt with a picture of Klipper across the chest. His handsome face was distorted by the stretched fabric, but it almost made Lena laugh to think how happy he’d be.

  “You here for the memorial?” The woman sized her up, cocking her head to the side.

  “Of course we’re here for the memorial, Felicia. Don’t be an asshole.” Valerie’s voice carried from the doorway to the kitchen as she came into the room. “The food is in the back. Make sure they bring it out soon. The guys will be here any minute, and they’ll be hungry and thirsty.”

  Felicia smiled. “I’ve got four kegs tapped alr
eady.” Reaching behind the counter, she pulled out two more Klipper-shirts and tossed them at Lena and Valerie. “Suit up, ladies. Anyone with tits has to wear one today.”

  “What?” Lena couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  “Tommy Klipper was a man who liked to plan things to the last detail. He had this drawn up years ago when he updated his will.”

  “How do you know so much about Klipper?”

  Felicia let a little sadness seep into her expression. “We spent some time together. It didn’t work out between us, but he was a good man.”

  Shrugging, Lena slipped the shirt over her head and watched as Valerie did the same. “Donovan won’t like Klipper’s face being all over your boobs.”

  With a laugh, Valerie jutted her chest out. “It’s the least I can do.”

  The door to the bar opened to a rush of sound. Loud male voices filled the space in a matter of seconds as the room filled with off-duty firefighters. Their brothers from across the state had volunteered to work at Station 31 over the next twenty-four hours in order to let Klipper’s co-workers have time to mourn him. Lena scanned the crowd for Michael’s face, frowning when she couldn’t find him.

  A warm hand snaked around her waist and pulled her backward. When her body came up against the familiar planes of Michael’s strong chest, she smiled. “Photographer,” he murmured, his breath brushing the shell of her ear.

  “Firefighter.” A shiver ran through her at the delicious scent of his soap and shaving cream.

  He hugged her tight and pressed a kiss to the space between her neck and shoulder before turning her to face him. As he took her in, a frown wrinkled his brow.

  “Baby, what the hell are you wearing?”

  Pushing her breasts forward, she shimmied her shoulders. “What? You don’t like it?”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t love it.”

  Laughing for the first time in a week, she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the bar. “Come on, let’s get a drink and remember what a cocky bastard Klipper was.”

  “He was, wasn’t he?” He let out a soft chuckle under his breath and her chest tightened. They’d get through this.

  As the beer began to flow, the mood in the room changed from somber to raucous. The karaoke stage was never empty, with Klipper’s favorite songs filling the air, sung badly by all of his friends. Lena sat on a barstool with Michael standing behind her, his hand stroking up and down her arm while they watched Sully sing “Friends in Low Places”.

  “Damn, I didn’t know Sully could sing.” Michael’s words were only for her, muttered into her ear like a secret shared between them.

  “He’s good. He sounds a lot like Garth Brooks.” Lena jutted her chin in the direction of a voluptuous redhead at a table near the stage. “Who’s that? She and Sully seem to know each other pretty well.”

  A heavy breath escaped him, making her turn in her seat. “Kiera. She’s Klip’s ex-wife.”

  “I didn’t see her at the funeral.”

  “No, she wouldn’t have been there. She’s not very popular around here. I can’t believe she’s showing her face now.”

  She watched as he downed half of his beer in one long swallow. “What’s the story there?”

  “Typical bullshit. She cheated on him with a paramedic from Newport News. Broke his heart.”

  “How long were they married?”

  “Ten years.”

  Her eyes widened. Ten years was a long time. How had she not known this? He’d been at the station the last eight. “Kids?”

  Shaking his head, he took another long drink. “Nope. She didn’t want them. I don’t know.”

  That sent an ache through her. “She probably had her reasons.”

  He stiffened and looked over Lena’s shoulder. “Maybe. I think she’s a heartless bitch. She married the medic. They’ve got three kids now.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say. The bitter anger in his voice made her cringe.

  The anger in his eyes softened as he looked at her. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so pissed. It’s just . . . he was a good guy. It tore him up when she left. He was never the same after her. Now, to see her here. It’s just too much.”

  Nodding, she grabbed her glass and finished her beer. “I’ll be right back,” she said, standing and separating herself from Michael.

  Her heart hammered in her chest as she stalked over to Kiera’s table. “Excuse me.” She had to push through the fear in her voice.

  “Yeah? Who are you?”

  Lena smiled sweetly at Klipper’s ex. “That doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you weren’t invited today. I think you need to leave.”

  “Excuse me?” The disbelief in Kiera’s voice was palpable.

  “You heard me. Get out.”

  Kiera stood, cocking her hip and staring daggers at Lena. “Tommy was my husband. I’ve got as much right to be here as anyone.”

  “No. You lost that right when you cheated on him. This is a private party. Get your skanky ass out of here before I kick it out.”

  A stormy expression on her face, Kiera grabbed her purse and stomped out of the room, shoving past Chief Roman and a few of the guys from a neighboring station. As soon as she cleared the doors, the room, which had gone silent for the exchange, erupted in applause.

  “Damn, baby. That was fucking hot.” Michael’s voice held a hint of pride as he pulled her to him.

  She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she grabbed the full beer he’d brought her and held it high in the air.

  “To Klipper.”

  The crowd cheered and raised their glasses as Michael stared at her with love clear on his face.

  “I’ll never let you go again, baby,” he said, nuzzling her neck.

  “I never want you to.”

  Chapter 30

  “Daddy!” Mitchell raced across the living room and into Michael’s arms as soon as he stepped through the front door of his family home.

  “Hey, buddy. I missed you.”

  “Grammy said your shoulder is all better.”

  With a grin, Michael wiggled his shoulder and nodded. “Yeah. All better. Are you ready to do something special with me today?”

  Mitchell’s eyes lit up. “Are we going to Disneyland?”

  Letting out a loud laugh, Michael shook his head. “No. I thought I’d take you to work. Would you like to go for a ride on the engine?”

  “Really? Do you have a dog I can pet? Is there a pole? Can I do the siren?”

  “Slow down, slow down. There’s something really important I want to talk to you about first. I need you to sit down.”

  The light left Mitchell’s eyes. “Am I in trouble?”

  “Nope. But this is big stuff, and I really need you to listen. Can you do that for me?”

  “Yeah.”

  He followed Michael to the couch and sat, eyes wide and locked on the man in front of him. Michael took a breath, forming the words in his head before he spoke.

  “Do you remember seeing pictures of my brother?”

  “Uncle Alex?”

  “No. I have another brother. His name was John. He was a firefighter just like me.”

  Mitchell looked up at the family portrait which hung over the fireplace. All three of them were standing together, Alex, John, and Michael, in their dress blues, flanked by their parents.

  “Yeah, that’s him. Well, you know, there’s nothing I want more in this world than to be your daddy, but the truth is, I’m not.”

  The boy’s face fell. “What do you mean?”

  “John is your daddy. He loved your mommy.”

  “But why did mommy say you’re my dad?”

  Shaking his head, he wrapped an arm
around Mitchell’s tiny shoulders. “I don’t know. I think she might have been scared that you wouldn’t be taken care of. But I’m glad she brought you to us. You’re so special to everyone in our family, Mitch. And we’ll always take care of you. All of us.”

  “So, if you’re not my daddy . . .”

  “I’m your uncle. Just like Uncle Alex.”

  Nodding slowly, Mitchell smiled. “Can we go see the fire trucks now?”

  Feeling a heavy weight lift from his shoulders, Michael chuckled. “Yeah, buddy. But I’ve got to warn you, there’s not a dog or a pole.”

  “Oliver, I need to see you in my office.” Chief Roman’s booming voice startled Michael, pulling him from the overflowing paperwork on his desk and bringing his attention to the hulking man standing behind him.

  Unease prickled at the back of his neck. The Chief rarely insisted on private talks . . . unless something was wrong.

  Fuck.

  He’d only been back on duty for a week since getting cleared by the doctor. That wasn’t enough time for him to have screwed up. He stood, hoping he wasn’t going to get chewed out for letting Mitchell run the siren a few days ago. As he followed his boss out of the makeshift office of partitions, a desk, and a computer, Michael worked to control the uncomfortable tension building between his shoulder blades.

  “Close the door,” Chief Roman directed.

  Shit. What had he done? It was only seven-thirty in the morning. His shift technically hadn’t even started yet.

  Doing as he’d been asked, Michael felt a frown forming on his lips. “What’s going on, Chief?”

  “I’m planning to go over this in the morning briefing, but I needed to let you know now.”

  Michael took a seat, then nodded and leaned forward, concerned at the seriousness in Roman’s tone. “Know what?”

  The Chief let out a heavy sigh. “The apartment fire . . . they found remnants of two boxes with rags soaked in linseed oil. Both were sealed up, one in the attic and the other left in the basement crawlspace.”