The Memory of All That

by Gibson, Nancy Smith

  “What do you mean?” Marnie asked as she spread the napkin across her lap.

  David passed Marnie the plate of chicken as he spoke. “When she gets mad about something or doesn’t get her way, she goes to her room and pouts.” He took the plate back and served himself. “She’s mad you’re still here, that I haven’t thrown you out on the street.”

  “Well, I’ve wondered about that myself,” she responded as she spooned some mashed potatoes onto her plate.

  “You said it yourself. Keep your enemies close.” He grinned, so she didn’t know what to think about that statement.

  They ate in silence for a few minutes before David spoke. “You did a good job picking things for Jonathan. He’s excited about the things you bought. I had to stay and discuss his town for a while, then play a few hands of dominoes. That’s why I was late to dinner.”

  “Yes, I played with him, too. I enjoy seeing him so happy.”

  David stopped eating and looked at Marnie. When he spoke, his voice was low and quiet. “I should have done that before—bought him some educational toys. Now that I look at it, he has, or had, very little to play with. Mrs. Tucker is good to watch him, but she takes no initiative in pointing out things he needs. She doesn’t like to drive, she doesn’t like to shop, and she doesn’t take him to places outside the house very often.

  “On the weekends I try to take him out to the park or to the movies, but I probably should take him shopping sometimes, too, so he can pick out things he would like.”

  “Has he ever been in a toy store?”

  “Come to think of it, he hasn’t. I’m sure you never took him, nor did I, and Mother surely wouldn’t.”

  “Why do you say Ruth wouldn’t?” Marnie asked, refusing to get sucked back into what a bad mother she had been.

  “Jonathan may be my son and her grandson, but he’s your son, too, and that offends her sensibilities. She found Mrs. Tucker when you became overwhelmed with taking care of a baby. In her mind, that is the limit of her grandmotherly duties.”

  “She doesn’t play with him? Read to him? Love him?” Her voice almost broke with the thought of Jonathan’s grandmother not loving him, and all because of her.

  “No. None of that.”

  They were quiet for a while as they ate.

  “Is there anything I can get for you?” Mary asked as she entered from the kitchen.

  David glanced at Marnie and then answered, “No, thank you, Mary. I think we’re ready for dessert now.”

  Mary brought individual bowls of banana pudding and started to clear the dirty plates and platters from the table. Marnie waited for Mary to leave before speaking.

  “You know, there’s no reason for two people to work late just to serve our supper. I’m going to try to come down earlier to set the table, and I can carry in the serving bowls, too. If we need something else, I’ll get up and get it. There’s no need to have Mrs. Grady and Mary to wait on us.”

  David raised his eyebrows, but when Mary returned, he said, “Just leave the rest, Mary, and go on home. We’ll take care of the dishes.”

  She looked startled.

  “Is my mother settled for the evening?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Then carry those on into the kitchen and leave them. We’ll take it from here.”

  He probably thinks I’m putting on a show. If that’s the case, he’s got another thing coming. When they finished dessert, she rose and started gathering the remaining dishes. He picked up the rest and followed her into the kitchen.

  Together they rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. David reached under the sink and retrieved the detergent and filled the dispenser.

  “So you know how to do this,” Marnie commented, as she searched the front of the dishwasher for the right buttons.

  “You bet. I do this on the weekends.”

  “Did I ever help you?”

  “Not that I can recall. As soon as you were through eating dinner you got up and left the room, and you were seldom around on the weekends, unless you were trying to wheedle me into going to some party or another.”

  “Did I ever succeed? Did you go?”

  “Not to the parties you wanted to go to. We went to ones my friends gave, but you thought those were boring.”

  Marnie remembered what the blonde woman at the mall had said about a party and shuddered. She didn’t want to think about the kind of parties she might have attended.

  “Tomorrow is Saturday. Why don’t you spend it with us for a change?”

  A thrill of pleasure shot through her.

  “There’s nothing I’d like more,” she answered.

  “Mrs. Tucker reminded me again this evening that Jonathan needs some new clothes. I thought I’d take him shopping, and of course, do some fun things.”

  “I’d love that,” she replied. “Do I usually join you two on Saturdays?”

  “No. This will be the first time.”

  As they parted and she went upstairs to her room, a broad smile filled her face and she was humming again. This had turned out to be a wonderful day.

  Chapter 27

  Marnie followed the scent of bacon to the kitchen. When she pushed open the swinging door, she saw Jonathan sitting at the island and David at the range flipping a pancake high into the air.

  “Oops,” he said as it landed in a pile instead of flat on the griddle. Jonathan was chortling at the failed exploit, and Marnie laughed aloud, too, more at Jonathan’s gaiety than her husband’s act. Father and son turned in unison at the sound of her laughter.

  “Good morning!” David said, and Jonathan echoed him.

  “Good morning, gentlemen. I didn’t expect to find a cook in the kitchen this morning.”

  “Daddy’s a good cook,” Jonathan offered. “He just can’t throw the pancakes up in the air and have them come down right!”

  “Let me make up some more batter, and I’ll show you what kind of cook I am,” David said, reaching for a box of mix. “I don’t make them from scratch,” he said to Marnie, who had come up beside him. “Hungry Jack makes them better than I can.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I always use,” Marnie said, then looked at David at the same time he looked at her. “Why did I say that? Did I used to make the pancakes?”

  “No. Never. Why did you say that?”

  “I don’t have a clue.” She turned away. “Maybe my mom and I made them when I was a kid. I don’t know.”

  David shook his head. “You remember the most useless information.” He threw Marnie a playful smile. “One of these times it’s going to be something important, and when the dam breaks, you’ll remember everything.”

  “I hope so,” Marnie murmured, but she wasn’t too sure she wanted to remember everything.

  As David poured more pancakes onto the griddle, Marnie went to the pantry and searched the shelves.

  “What are you looking for?” he asked.

  “These,” she said as she came out of the pantry holding a bag. Returning to the stove, she opened the bag and took out a handful of chocolate chips. Carefully she arranged them on a pancake. “Let them sink down into the batter before you flip that one.”

  David was grinning when he delivered the smiley face pancake to Jonathan, who laughed when he saw it. “I’m eating his eye,” he announced as he took a bite. “Now I’m eating his nose.”

  “The bacon is on that platter,” David said, pointing. “Do you want some pancakes?”

  “You bet I do!”

  “Do you want smiley face ones?” Jonathan asked.

  “No, I think I want plain ones this morning. Why don’t you eat those while they’re hot, and I’ll make my own?” she said to David.

  “What? And take away my job as chef?” David bantere
d.

  “I’m eating his mouth,” Jonathan declared.

  “My goodness, what a charming little scene. So domestic,” drawled a voice from the doorway.

  David’s smile disappeared. “Celeste, how did you get in?”

  “Your mother gave me a key, David. She thought I should have one in case I was needed. You know, to help with Jonathan or something.”

  “We didn’t call for any help, so what are you doing here?”

  “Darling, don’t be mad! We’re going out for the day, your mother and I. She needs someone to be her friend. She feels so . . . alone.”

  He didn’t comment on his mother’s feelings but rather tersely said, “She’s in her room. You know the way,” and turned back to his cooking.

  “If you needed someone to fix your breakfast, you could have called me. I make wonderful breakfasts. You do remember, don’t you?”

  “I prefer my own cooking, Celeste. You and Mother have a nice day. Goodbye.”

  Celeste glared at him, then turned on her stilettos and left the room.

  Marnie felt it wise to keep her thoughts to herself, so she went to the refrigerator to find something to drink.

  “Jonathan, do you want milk or juice?”

  “Milk, please.”

  She placed a glass in front of him and poured it about half full. “That’s so it’ll be easier not to spill. Tell me if you want more.”

  David looked at her oddly. “That’s a good idea. He spills it quite often.”

  “And what do you want to drink?”

  “I have coffee right here, but I’ll take a glass of milk, too.”

  She grinned. “Should I make yours half full, too?”

  “Maybe you ought to. Sometimes I spill stuff when I get upset.”

  “Why are you upset, Daddy?” Jonathan asked.

  “Little pitchers,” Marnie said softly as she poured the milk.

  “Because I can’t flip a pancake right,” David answered.

  When breakfast was eaten and the kitchen straightened, the trio proceeded upstairs to brush their teeth and fetch their jackets.

  “It’s a beautiful day, Jonathan. Let’s get out of the house,” David said to his son.

  “Can we go to the park, please, Daddy? We haven’t been there in a long time ‘cause it’s been so cold.”

  “We’ll go there first, for a little while, but then we’re going to go shopping for some new clothes for you. Mrs. Tucker tells me you’re growing so fast all your jeans and shirts are too small.”

  Jonathan was amenable to the suggestion, and they drove to the park where Marnie had found herself that first day. They parked at the curb, and Jonathan raced to the climbing bars.

  “Come this way,” David said, taking Marnie by the elbow. “Let’s walk back over where you remember standing. Maybe now that the snow is gone, we can find your cell phone or wallet.”

  They looked all over with no more luck than they had the first time they searched. By this time, Jonathan had grown tired of climbing and approached them.

  “Daddy, can we go to the other park? There aren’t any kids here, and the stuff at the other park is funner.”

  “OK, Sport. We can do that.”

  After driving to the other side of town, they reached a neighborhood with newer homes. Ranch style houses and two story colonials mingled with more modern dwellings of stone and glass. They passed a sprawling school on the way. When they reached the park, a throng of children was playing on the swings, teeter-totters, and slides. Jonathan hurried off to a small merry-go-round where an older child pushed it before hopping on himself.

  Marnie and David sat on a bench where they could watch the action.

  “I’m so glad he could get out of the house today.”

  “Yes. The snow and cold this winter has kept us inside on the weekends. He deserves to get out and play,” David answered, hooking his elbows over the back of the bench.

  “I think I’d go stir-crazy being cooped up in the house day after day.”

  “Maybe that’s why you never stayed home,” he replied sharply.

  “Maybe. But why didn’t I take him out with me?”

  “Because he would cramp your style? Maybe because you didn’t want people to see you as a mother? I don’t know, Marnie. I don’t know why you don’t, or didn’t, love your son.”

  “I love him now, and that’s all I know.”

  They were quiet for a while, watching Jonathan move from the merry-go-round to the slide, taking turns with the other children. Nothing more could be said about Marnie’s past that hadn’t been repeated over the last few days.

  “This looks like a pleasant neighborhood,” Marnie commented. “Nice homes and lots of children.”

  “It is. I lived in this neighborhood before my father and uncle died.”

  “I think you or Alice once said something about your moving back home then.”

  “Yes. My mother just couldn’t be alone, so I sold my condo and moved back in with her.”

  “That was good of you.”

  He raised one eyebrow as if to question her meaning, so she tried to reassure him. “Really. It’s what you should have done if she needed you.”

  As Jonathan ran to the teeter-totters with another boy about his size, Marnie turned her face up to the sun and closed her eyes. “This feels so good,” she said.

  When she opened her eyes, she noticed David was staring at her, but he turned away quickly.

  Searching for a neutral subject, she asked. “The school we drove by on this street, is that where Jonathan will start to school?”

  “No, his school will be on the other side of town, closer to the house.” He stood and reached a hand out to her. “It’s time we did some shopping.” He called out, “Jonathan, it’s time to go. Come on.”

  Jonathan hurried to them. “Daddy, that’s my friend Ricky I was playing with. He wants to know if I can come to this park again sometime.”

  “Someday, Jonathan. I’ll try to bring you again someday.”

  Chapter 28

  When they walked out of the department store, David’s arms were filled with bags. He had purchased everything they could think Jonathan might need: jeans, shirts, socks, underwear, pajamas, and a lightweight jacket. Marnie was stunned by the amount of money David spent without comment.

  Why should I be surprised? she thought. He is obviously a wealthy man from a wealthy family. From the looks of my closet, I must have spent money the same way.

  “Next comes shoes, buddy,” David told the boy who was skipping along beside them.

  Marnie was trying to hold his hand, but it was a difficult task with his jumping and bouncing at every step.

  “I’ll tell you what, Jonathan. If you’ll walk calmly and not jump around so your mother can hold your hand, we’ll buy you a special treat.”

  Jonathan immediately slowed down to a normal pace. He looked up at Marnie for a few seconds and then reached to take her hand.

  “What treat?” he asked.

  “You’ll see. I have to see if you’re going to behave,” David said in a solemn voice.

  They entered a store that sold athletic shoes. Jonathan’s eyes widened when he saw the vast assortment of shoes. The salesman measured his feet, and when they left, he was wearing a new pair of shoes and carrying another.

  “Now, let’s go get you a prize for being so good,” David said.

  When they entered the toy store, Jonathan’s face lit up.

  “I’ve never seen so many toys,” he said. “I didn’t know there were this many toys in the whole world.”

  “This is where I bought the things I gave you yesterday,” Marnie told him.

  Marnie felt like they had looked at every toy in the shop. She
figured David had had enough shopping when he said, “It’s time to make a choice, Sport. What shall we buy?”

  Jonathan hemmed and hawed, unable to decide among all the riches before him.

  “How about some more parts for your town?” Marnie suggested. “Like a fire truck and ambulance and police car?”

  “Yeah! And how ‘bout some trees? I don’t have any trees,” Jonathan said.

  Choices made and paid for, they exited the store and started back along the wide corridor.

  “Tell you what,” David said. “Why don’t we stop in the food court and get some lunch? Maybe some pizza.”

  “Pizza! Hurray!” Jonathan exclaimed.

  “No, not there. Let’s go somewhere else,” Marnie said.

  “Where would you suggest then?”

  “Anywhere. Anywhere but here.”

  When they reached the car, David clicked the remote to unlock it and told Jonathan to get in the backseat while he and Marnie put the packages in the trunk. Once Jonathan was out of earshot, David asked in a low voice, “You want to tell me what that was all about? Did you remember something else?”

  “No, it wasn’t that. Yesterday, when I was eating lunch in the food court, some man came up to me. He said he knew me.”

  “And you didn’t know him.” It was a statement, not a question.

  “No, I didn’t know him, but he was smarmy. I didn’t want him around me.”

  “Smarmy? What do you mean?”