The Perfect Emotion (Book Two of The Perfect Series)

by Rolka, Melissa

  “You don’t look like it. Did something happen with Reed?” She asks as she changes into comfy pants and a t-shirt.

  Skittishly, I begin filling my bag with my books and notebooks for my night class. “No.” I pause and she moves close to me with a hand on her hip. “I’m kinda. I don’t know. It’s me I’m sure.”

  “Kate, spit it out.”

  “He’s got another meeting thing with his dad and I just feel uneasy about it. I’m pretty sure his ex, Jessica, will be there again.” Frustrated I grate my bottom teeth across my top lip. “I’m also pretty sure she still wants him,” I mutter lastly.

  “Oh.” She plops herself in my desk chair and spins around. “Well, you know you have nothing to worry about. The boy would slay dragons, walk through fire and climb the tallest mountain all in a day to be with you.” I laugh at her sill analogy, but know what she means.

  “I-I know what you mean, but they have a history that I can’t compete with. She’s part of his family dynamic.”

  “And you’re a part of him. Period,” she says with finality.

  “Thanks,” I say and throw my arms around her to hug her closely. I’d be lost without being able to openly confide in Maggie. She never judges just steers me in the right direction. This friendship is like a lifeline I never knew even existed.

  With only a couple more minutes to spare I twist a light scarf around my neck before I wiggle into my lightweight coat. “Are you excited to see Marco?”

  She exhales and then her head falls back. “Yes and no. I’m nervous and anxious too. It’s just complicated and my brother still doesn’t know. I don’t want to screw this up either… I don’t think my heart could survive.”

  “God, I get that!” I chime in knowing Reed could destroy what’s left of my heart. “But you have to take the chance, you’d always be wondering. I still can’t believe you never told me about this crush… that you actually let me go on a date with him!”

  “Okay, okay, don’t remind me!” We both cringe a little and then laugh because things could have turned out so differently.

  We decide to watch Knocked Up when I get back tonight and eat pizza, maybe even find some beer. Walking down the hall I bump into Derek leaving Kelly’s dorm. He asks me to hang out because Kelly has a test tomorrow that she’ll be studying for all night. That girl can pull an all night-er like nobody else, not me I still need my sleep. I invite him to come to our room after my class and he says that he’ll bring beer.

  Just as I head out the doors into the cool spring air I hear my phone beep with a text.

  Thinking of u. Let me know when u get back from class. Reed

  Ok. Going to watch movie with Mags and Derek. Katherine

  Tell D to keep his hands to himself ;). Reed

  Stop. I’ll b thinking of u, winker. Katherine

  Good and I only wink at u ;). Reed

  Giggling like a schoolgirl I practically skip to class.

  The meeting with my dad and Mr. Weston goes longer than I would like it to. Lucky for me Jessica never shows up. Being at the mercy of my dad’s help never bodes well for me. Neither does spending any extra time in his presence. He forgets that he has dark secrets too and that I know about them. His tie to Weston is more than just a business partnership; it’s personal. He needs Weston like a lifeline. Granted, I’m in a predicament needing Weston’s help, but I’m nothing like my father.

  We wrap up with a game plan going forward and to clear my name. I start to pull on my coat as Weston puts his suit coat back on. He moves closer to me standing a couple inches shorter than me, but stockier in build.

  “Grant, you need to talk to Jessica and work out these difference,” he speaks in a low gruff tone, but loud enough for my father to hear. I shift my stance backwards aware that I look pissed off. Sliding my tongue over my teeth I inhale deeply. “Just talk with her. Listen, you need my help and I’ll get you out of this, but I’m asking for very little in return.” His eyes glaze over me with intensity and fire then make their way over to my father.

  “Gotcha,” is all I offer up. I move around Weston to make my way out of my father’s office, but of course my father stops me mid-fleeing.

  He follows me out into the hallway barking out, “Grant Reed Harper.” Stopping mid-stride I turn around feeling that familiar force pulling at me, rising in me and tearing up my insides. I hate that I despise this man. I hate the way he can drive a wedge between us so deep that all I can see is red. Almost every time we have a confrontation thoughts of how he treated my mom come rushing in like a whirlwind in my mind.

  “Susan, you look like a God damn whore,” he growled in her face. She pushed me behind her, but I refused to stay hidden. Mom’s face had a light dusting of make-up with a gloss emphasizing her lips. She didn’t usually wear make-up, but she had plans to go out tonight since I was staying with my dad for the weekend. I dreaded going though, other than I usually got to hang out with my older sisters.

  “Reed, sweetie, go ahead and grab your things,” she said as she gestured for me to walk away. Feeling a fire building in my chest I left, but didn’t waste time to get back. It had already been a year since my mother left him, but still he reminded her what a mess she was and that it was the biggest mistake of her life. Hearing him call her names only drove me away though. I had come flying down the stairs making my way back into the foyer to see him practically spitting in her face with fury. He wasn’t yelling, but I could hear the vengeance in his tone across the room. Typically, I had stayed quiet during these encounters, but each time I witnessed him degrading her it became more and more difficult to restrain myself.

  “Slut,” muttered from his lips and the rage boiled over in me. I approached the room wanting to rip him from her space, but instead did something I had never done.

  “Fuck off!”

  I never did go stay with him that weekend. From that point on I became a thorn in his side like never before. I caused all sorts of trouble… fighting, drinking and doing drugs. I did everything in my power to keep the focus off of her and on me. Even then I knew how important appearances were to him.

  It’s hard though as I stare at him in the large expanse of the same hallway I remember catching him with a redhead as a kid. Your mind can’t reconcile that man, the one he is still today with the one who camped in the backyard with you at six years old. Or the one who held the back of your bike in the driveway as you peddled… Or the one who draped a large diamond necklace around your mom for her birthday one year. Those two different men don’t ever equal the same man.

  “What?” I ask with a bit of exasperation and contention laced in there.

  “Grant, you can’t have this stuff on your record. You’ve got law school and then this practice. You’ll be looked at through a microscope.” His tone is a little gentler than moments ago, but still stern.

  “I know this, I don’t need the lecture.”

  “You do and I will give it any damn time I feel it’s necessary. Don’t be foolish with some girl who’s probably after your money. Nothing, but trouble I’m telling you.” I start to laugh because he literally has no clue what he’s talking about. That’s what he would say about my mom and still does, that she was after his money. What he doesn’t get is I’d gladly give Kate my money, every last cent. He thinks that just because he is driven by the money that we all are or should be. That’s the constant threat he looms over my head all the time. To be honest, the thought of walking away from it all is closer than he realizes.

  “You’re giving advice about something you know nothing about… so just don’t.” I start to pick up my pace to head towards the front doors, but turn back. “Listen, I’ll appease you guys and respond to Jessica, but don’t… don’t ever put down Kate again. She’s off limits.” Knowing he’ll want to get the last word in like always I throw my hands in my pockets and book it out of there. Quickly I stride out the front door hearing a muffled version of his voice echoing, but unable to make out what he says.

&nb
sp; I drive faster than I should back to campus. The urge to call or text Kate is like an addict needing his next fix. I don’t though because it’s selfish of me to want to take her away and bury myself in her. She told me she has plans and I’m trying my hardest to not interfere with her making her own decisions. Even though I’d love nothing more than to have her hands roam my body, making me forget. Her surrendering to my need to protect her is what I crave most.

  After parking my car in the garage I walk across campus wishing I’d catch Kate walking back from her class, but I don’t see her. As I reach the house the sight of a petite girl curled on the porch steps sits waiting for me. Dragging my feet forward with a determined force I steady my breathing and the urgency to do something I know I shouldn’t. Biting the inside of my cheek and tightly pressing my eyes closed I weigh out my options while Mr. Weston’s voice funnels through my ears. Fuck.

  “Hi Jess,” I gravely say unable to turn her away.

  “Re-Reed, I had nowhere to go,” I see her eyes glazed over with a look I’ve seen long ago. “I screwed up again.” I lock my jaw not wanting to appease her, not wanting to comfort her in anyway, but in the end I know what needs to be done.

  “Are you high?” I ask pretending to care.

  “Y-yes.”

  I balance on the back of my heels preferring to run the other direction, but force myself to say the words I’d swore I’d never say again. “Well, come on in…” She scrambles to her feet trailing behind me grabbing the top of my arm once we cross through looking at me with tears welling up in her eyes.

  CHAPTER 30

  Eager to get back to hang out with Maggie and Derek it dawns on me how nice it is that I can hang out with my friends and not feel guilty. Although, I definitely feel an ache in my chest at the thought of not seeing Reed tonight I’m enjoying this new kind of relationship where there is trust. Curiously I wonder what his meetings with his dad are about, but more than anything the feeling that Jessica will be there gnaws at me.

  The moon is almost full, but not quite as it shines brightly in the clear night sky. I zip up my jacket and begin to walk across campus. As I walk I text Reed telling him my class is over and I’m headed back to the dorm. Rounding the back corner of the building I hear a voice that sends a shiver through me from my spine down to the tips of my toes. I stop in my tracks straightening up, grabbing my bag tightly. The dark shadow of the building and confines between the dumpster only add to the intense surge of energy rushing to my head. Swallowing hard and deep I glance at my phone to see no response from Reed and slip it in my pocket. I turn around to see a recognizable stature standing just a few steps from me. Green and gold-flecked eyes scream into mine with raw, coarse and hard emotions. The fading of blue, yellow, green and even black across his face catch me off guard along with the strip across his nose. Taking a step back towards the brick of the building Kyle takes a step closer.

  “Kyle,” rushes past my lips like smoke from a burning building. Forcing myself to get my bearings and face him I stand up taller. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  He huffs out a ragged breath and rocks on his feet and then runs his hands through his hair latching them around the back of his neck. I’ve seen him do this same gesture numerous times before and usually it causes me anxiety and fear, but now I don’t quite feel those things. Squaring my shoulders I take a step towards him causing him to back up. “You sent him after me,” he growls out through his clenched teeth.

  It takes me a moment to figure out what he’s referring to. Once I realize he thinks that I’m the one who sent Reed after him I shake my head back and forth. “No, I didn’t,” I state calmly.

  “Bull shit!” He yells towards me, but keeps a safe amount of distance from me. I tremble, but try my hardest to hide my fear. Fighting my natural instinct to bite the bottom corner of my lip and tuck my hair behind my ears I loosen my grip on my bag.

  As I start to walk around Kyle to leave the situation he grabs onto my wrist snapping me back in place. “Get your fucking hands off me, Kyle or I swear to God I’ll scream,” I say with as much force and determination as I can muster up right in his face. Shock glazes over his eyes, which then scan the look on my face. He releases my wrist and takes a step back with his hands up in surrender.

  “Kate, I just want to understand. Look what he did to me for Christ sakes… I had to have nose surgery!” Seeing the evidence of Reed’s confrontation on Kyle fazes me differently than when Reed showed up with blood on him.

  “There’s nothing to understand, Kyle.” I gesture to the space between us. “This is over. There is nothing between us other than you stalking me. Don’t call me, don’t write, don’t go to my house and don’t come looking for me up here either. I’m filing a restraining order.”

  “You bitch,” he paces the space around me, but keeps his distance. “You owe me more. I fucking loved you.” The distaste I feel for him is evident in my look of disgust as I continue to shake my head back and forth telling him no. “Trust me I’ll get you in the end. I’ll be seeing your cock sucker of a boyfriend in court, so you go ahead and file that restraining order… you’re gonna need it!

  I don’t respond as I give him one last look before I say, “I’m leaving, don’t follow me.” Then I hold my chin up, keep the tears locked up and walk self-assured away from him.

  “Kate… shit, wait,” he calls to me as I round the corner towards the lit up front entrance to the dorm. I never turn back around to see where he goes and pray like hell this is the end of this. My heart thumps a rhythmic pattern of fast and then slow, then faster again. I tremble and shake having used all my energy to do what I just did. Then the tears stream down my cheeks long and silent.

  Leaning wobbly against a wall in the lobby I contemplate brushing this off and avoiding it. Maggie and Derek are upstairs waiting for me and I know will comfort me. Maggie will encourage me to tell Reed. Reed, oh God, Reed. Thinking of his arms and the settling they’ll provide spreads over me like silk. Reed’s words that eventually I’ll come to him on my own race in my mind. Wiping my cheeks as best as I can and without thinking much I drop my bag and break through the doors in a sprint. I’m grateful for the yoga pants and tennis shoes I’m wearing. The light cool air of the night hits my face giving me strength to run faster. The adrenalin pushes me to move one foot in front of the other easily. The release I feel in my chest from the impact of my feet pounding the pavement harder than usual surges an electrical feeling. Then the thought of pressing myself into Reed, smelling his distinct masculine pine scent and the tone of his voice when he calls me Katherine causes more tears to spill from the sides of my eyes.

  I approach Reed’s house and pick up the pace, race up the porch steps and take a few deep breaths before opening the door. Looking around the family room I see a few people, but just head straight to the staircase to find Reed. One of his roommates mumbles, “Ah, Kate,” but I continue to climb the steps two at time with urgency. Craving, yearning, wanting to tell Reed everything and him to make it better… knowing I can trust him. I gasp as I reach Reed’s bedroom door and wait to try to catch my breath. Lightly, I knock, but he doesn’t answer. Shifting from foot to foot I nervously remind myself that Reed will want me to come to him.

  Turning the handle slowly I push the door open to a dark room. My eyes scan over and then I swear my heart skips several beats. There under his bed covers is the form of a petite body with soft brown wavy hair, a bare foot hanging out with pink painted toe nails and an arm covered in a charcoal sweater hugging his pillow. I stare for a moment too long feeling like my world has just been uprooted. My vision begins to go black and white spotted like a TV that has lost reception. The room spins too fast for me to stop it. A lack of oxygen has me stumbling, light-headed as I step back from the room.

  Just as I make my body move towards the staircase the bathroom door opens with the face of the guy I thought I had more with. He stands there in just a pair of sweats, his chest still damp and glistening from the
shower he must have had. The strands of his hair drip onto his muscular shoulders sparkling in the light from the hallway. I stare at him with tears falling freely and my mouth agape.

  Shaking his head from side to side when he sees that his bedroom door is opened he steps towards me. “Kate, just wait, it’s not, it’s not what you think,” he says firmly and assured. I take a step back away from him looking from him and back to the stairs. Without another rational thought left in my body I bolt for the stairs and sprint out the front door unsure of where I’ll run to now. Not caring where I just keep running.

  Scrambling into my room as quickly as I can I flip the light on and look for a shirt not caring about the destruction I leave in my wake. I look at Jessica stirring in my bed knowing that poor Kate saw her there thinking that I’d veered from her. Fuck. She squints her eyes and slides up a bit looking at me like I’m crazy.

  “Wh-what are you doing? Where are you going?” She asks in a slurred voice probably from the drugs that ran or still run through her body.

  “Get your shit and get out, Jess,” I bark out.

  “What, why?” She sits up completely with her sweater hanging off one of her shoulders loosely. “I need you, Reed.”

  “Yeah, well, you can’t have me. I swear to God if you’ve messed this up for me I’ll make your life a living hell, Jess.”

  “It’s not possible, it already is a living hell,” she mutters sadly. I know I sound like an asshole, but I’ve been here with her before. Not doing it again. There is only one girl that I’ll be there for and she just ran out of here like a bat out of hell because she thinks I’ve cheated on her.

  “Not my problem. Get up and downstairs in five minutes or I’ll have the police come remove you. One of the guys down stairs will take you where you want,” I say as I slam the door and fly down the stairs as quick as I can. After checking to make sure one of them is sober downstairs I hand them a hundred dollar bill and tell them to get her out of here within the next twenty minutes.