Science Fair

by Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson

  “Is there something wrong with your eyes?” he said.

  “No,” sighed Tamara.

  “All right,” said Sternabite, turning back to Micah. “When it’s at eighty-three degrees, you turn this knob to—I’m gonna say—ten percent, to start the reaction. Then you watch your voltage meter, here on this readout. Still with me?”

  “Ten percent,” said Micah.

  “Okay,” said Sternabite. “Pay attention, because this is where it can get tricky.” As Sternabite continued to give Micah instructions for operating the reactor, Toby edged behind his back and looked around for a place to put his cantaloupe. He settled on a cluttered shelf behind the counter, where there was an opening between an accordion and what looked like either a clump of moss or a very old sandwich. Toby tiptoed over, keeping an eye on Sternabite, and set the cantaloupe on the shelf, with the lens pointing outward. From there the camera would take in most of what happened in the store, and the microphone would pick up whatever was said in the vicinity of the counter. Toby edged away from the cantaloupe.

  “Whatever you do,” Sternabite was saying, “don’t let this meter read higher than forty thousand. Dial it back closer to five percent if you see it approaching forty K.”

  “What happens if it goes past forty?” said Tamara.

  Sternabite aimed his dark glasses at her.

  “Have you ever seen lightning strike?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she said.

  “Inside a gymnasium?” he said.

  “Oh,” she said.

  Sternabite turned back to Micah. “Okay,” he said. “Take this stuff and get out. I have other customers coming.” He put the reactor back into its Slurpee box. “And make sure you bring this back after the science fair.”

  “Okay,” said Micah. Then he frowned and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

  “What?” said Sternabite impatiently.

  “How come you’re letting me use this thing for free?”

  Sternabite stared at him for a long moment. Then he said, “Two reasons. Mainly, I think it’s high time there was some real competition in the science fair.”

  “You mean for the ME kids,” said Tamara.

  “Exactly,” said Sternabite.

  “But don’t you help them?” said Toby. Sternabite turned toward him. Several seconds passed. Toby worried that he’d gone too far.

  Finally Sternabite spoke. “Maybe I do,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean I’m on their side.”

  “What’s the other reason?” said Micah.

  Sternabite turned back to Micah. “This will serve as an excellent field test for the reactor.”

  “Test?” said Micah.

  “Field test,” said Sternabite.

  “So you’re saying it’s never actually been tested?” said Micah.

  Sternabite studied Micah for a moment.

  “Just do what I told you, Frog Boy,” he said, “and you’ll be fine.”

  Micah started to say something, but Tamara, looking out into the mall concourse, interrupted. “The ME kids are coming,” she said.

  “Let’s go,” said Toby. “Come on, Micah.” He handed Micah one of the boxes and grabbed the other.

  “But…” said Micah.

  “Come on,” said Toby, dragging Micah out of the store after Tamara. They turned right on the concourse, heading away from the approaching ME kids. Toby glanced back into the Science Nook to make sure the webcam cantaloupe was still in position. Sternabite was facing him, his eyes unreadable behind his dark glasses.

  Toby quickly turned away and followed his friends.

  DRMTSI AND VRSK LOVED all the TV channels at the Shady Inn Motor Court, except for the one with the scary judge lady. But their favorite channel, the one they kept returning to, was the shopping network. Such excellent merchandise! Such friendly hosts! It was as if they were talking to Drmtsi and Vrsk personally, wanting so much to make their lives better by giving them an opportunity to own these wonderful products.

  No matter what the friendly hosts were selling—exercise equipment, jewelry, clothing, cookware, home beekeeping equipment—Drmtsi and Vrsk found that they wanted to buy it. Drmtsi was especially smitten with a smiling blond woman who was selling a cappuccino machine for only $489, which you could pay for in three convenient installments. After watching her explain the benefits of this machine for twenty minutes, with Vrsk translating, Drmtsi could contain himself no longer. He ordered Vrsk to call the toll-free number.

  Vrsk called. A nice lady told him that the shopping network did not take purds or gold; only credit cards. Vrsk said he did not have a credit card. The nice lady said this was not a problem; she’d be happy to take an application for the official shopping-network credit card. In half an hour, both Drmtsi and Vrsk had been approved. The cards would not arrive for a day or so, but they would be given special account numbers that they could use right now. They could begin shopping immediately!

  Drmtsi and Vrsk could hardly believe it. Such a generous country! So trusting! Drmtsi returned his attention to the smiling blond woman on the TV screen. Vrsk translated what she was saying: the cappuccino machine had been reduced to just $419! An amazing price, according to the smiling woman. But there were only a few left! Drmtsi ordered Vrsk to buy one—no, two—cappuccino machines. Vrsk picked up the phone again, and in minutes the order was placed. They paid extra to have the machines delivered to the Shady Inn Motor Court by overnight delivery. It was $80 more, but Drmtsi decided it was worth it.

  Vrsk hung up the phone and gave Drmtsi the good news. They shared a smile of accomplishment. The mission was going well. Two cappuccino machines! Neither Drmtsi or Vrsk knew what cappuccino was, but they were sure it was a good thing.

  They turned back to the TV. The smiling blond woman had been replaced by two new hosts who were selling a large, miracle rubber ball that could be used for many purposes, including toning the thighs. It was only $49.95! Drmtsi leaned forward with interest, his eyes on the screen, his ears taking in Vrsk’s running translation. He was tempted to order the miracle ball right away, but his instinct told him that if he waited, the price might drop. So he held off, biding his time, waiting for just the right moment to strike. He could feel the pressure. But he was an agent in the field; pressure was his business.

  TOBY, TAMARA, AND MICAH set up Micah’s laptop on a table in a deserted corner of the mall food court. They hoped it was close enough to the Science Nook to get a decent signal from the Cantaloupe Cam. Micah booted up the laptop, worked the keyboard for a few moments, then said, “There.”

  The image on the laptop screen was a little dark, but clear enough. Standing at the Science Nook counter, facing the camera, were four ME kids: Haley Hess, Harmonee Prescott, Jason Niles, and Farrel “The Ferret” Plinkett. Sternabite was also visible, his back to the camera. He finished placing some cardboard boxes on the counter and some larger ones on a hand truck. Then he opened and looked into some envelopes, which appeared to contain cash.

  “Can we get sound?” asked Toby.

  Micah increased the volume. There were some rustling noises as Sternabite finished checking the envelopes. Then his voice came through the laptop speakers, surprisingly loud and clear.

  “Okay, it’s all here,” he said.

  “So how do we, like, set the projects up?” said Haley.

  “The instructions are inside the boxes,” said Sternabite. “Nothing complicated.”

  “All right,” said Haley. She turned to Jason and The Ferret. “You guys carry the heavy ones, okay?”

  “It might be a couple of trips,” said Jason, eyeing the boxes.

  “Whatever,” said Haley. “Just get started.” She and the others began picking up boxes.

  “Hold on a minute,” said Sternabite.

  The ME kids looked at him.

  “Is this important?” said Harmonee. “Because Celebrity Cage Fight is on in a half hour.”

  Indicating the boxes, Sternabite said, “These components…some of them ar
e very…sophisticated.”

  “You told us that already,” said Jason Niles.

  Sternabite nodded. “And I’ve been thinking more about it,” he said. “There’s a potential situation that concerns me about these projects.”

  “Are you saying they won’t work?” said Haley.

  “No,” said Sternabite. “They work. I built them.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” said Jason.

  Sternabite paused, then said, “I’d like to talk to whoever designed these plans—whoever gave them to you.”

  “We told you,” said Haley. “We don’t know.”

  “What difference does it make who gave them to us?” said Jason. “We bring you the stuff, we pay you, and you make the projects. Same as always.”

  “No,” said Sternabite. “It’s not the same as always. The others I’ve done…those were always separate, very different projects. They didn’t relate to each other. But these”—he gestured at the boxes—“there’s a possibility…the combination. It’s…troubling.”

  “Troubling, why?” said Haley.

  Sternabite paused. “I…can’t…say exactly,” he finally muttered, sounding as though it caused him physical pain to speak these words. His voice returned to normal. “I haven’t worked it out yet. Not completely. But I will. I’m just worried that in the meantime, should these technologies be used in combination, it could be…interesting. Potentially very dangerous.”

  “Potentially,” said Haley. “If it’s used wrong. But it won’t be. It’s just for the science fair.”

  “I still don’t like it,” said Sternabite. “I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t even…”

  “Listen,” interrupted Jason. “We need these projects. You can’t back out now.”

  “Yeah,” said The Ferret. “You took our money.”

  “That’s right,” said Haley. “You took our money. And you told us to bring you all the classified stuff.”

  “I didn’t tell you to bring it,” said Sternabite. “Whoever designed these did. You’re the ones who brought me lists.”

  “That’s your story,” said Haley. “The four of us might remember it differently, if, say, the police got interested. It could look very bad, an adult tricking innocent kids into getting him dangerous classified technology.” She turned to the other three. “Isn’t that right?”

  “That’s right,” said The Ferret.

  “Yeah,” said Jason.

  “What are we talking about?” said Harmonee.

  Haley sighed and turned back to Sternabite. “I think,” she said, “that the best thing for everyone would be if you just forgot about your little worries. When the science fair is over we’ll return everything and it’ll all be fine. Okay?”

  There was a long pause. Then Sternabite nodded reluctantly.

  “Okay!” said Haley brightly. “Bye!”

  The ME kids moved the boxes out of the Science Nook and out of range of the Cantaloupe Cam. Sternabite was motionless for a few seconds, then left, apparently going to the back room.

  Toby, Tamara, and Micah continued staring at Micah’s computer screen. Tamara broke the silence.

  “Wow,” she said.

  “Micah,” said Toby, “did you by any chance record that?”

  “No,” said Micah. “Was I supposed to?”

  Toby shook his head ruefully and said, “I should’ve thought of it before. This is unbelievable. They’re using classified technology.”

  “Dangerous, classified technology,” said Tamara. “Potentially very dangerous. What do you think he meant by that?”

  “I dunno,” said Toby. “But we have to tell somebody about this.”

  “Who?” said Micah.

  “The FBI?” said Toby.

  “Oh, sure!” said Tamara. She held an imaginary phone to her ear. “Hello, FBI? I want to report that the guy in a shopping-mall science store used classified technology to make something very dangerous.…No, I don’t know what it is, but I saw the whole thing on a camera hidden inside a cantaloupe.…Hello? FBI? Hello?”

  “Okay, so maybe not the FBI,” said Toby.

  “Then who?” said Micah.

  Toby thought. “The Hornet,” he said.

  “Are you insane?” said Tamara. “No, let me rephrase that. You are insane.”

  “Listen,” said Toby. “She loves the school. She would never let anything bad happen there. Plus, she’s a human rottweiler. If I can convince her that Sternabite knows something, she will make him tell.”

  “How’re you going to convince her?” said Micah. “She already thinks you’re a lying cheater.”

  “Right,” said Toby. “But she doesn’t think you are.”

  “You want us to tell The Hornet,” said Tamara.

  “Just tell her what you saw and heard on the computer,” said Toby. “She’ll have to check it out. I’ll back you up.”

  “Oh, that’ll help,” said Tamara. “Being backed up by a lying cheater.”

  “Come on,” said Toby. “We gotta do this. If we don’t go to The Hornet, these morons could end up blowing up the school. Is that what you want?”

  Tamara looked down, then shook her head. Micah just stared at Toby.

  “Well is it?” said Toby.

  “I’m thinking,” said Micah.

  IT WAS DARK BY THE TIME TOBY returned to Milkwort Court. He paused out on the street for a moment, watching his house. Through the living room window he saw the TV on, which meant his parents were still up. He hoped they hadn’t discovered that he’d snuck out. But it was equally important they not hear him sneak back in.

  So he tiptoed across the yard cautiously and around the side of the house to his bedroom window. He peered inside: thankfully the room was dark and the door closed. Good. He reached for the window to raise it.

  “Hello, Toby,” spoke an electronically distorted voice from directly behind him.

  Oh, no!

  Toby spun around: stepping out from the shadows were Vaderian and the Wookiee. Vaderian was dressed in full Darth Vader costume, including helmet. He was holding a glowing light saber—apparently he’d replaced the batteries—which he now pointed at Toby’s chest.

  “So, young Harbinger,” he said, “we meet again.” He emitted an electronic chuckle, as though he had said something witty.

  “What are you doing here?” said Toby.

  “As I told you last time,” said Vaderian, “I want more from your father’s collection.”

  “I can’t get you anything now,” said Toby, glancing nervously at the house. He whispered: “My parents are home!”

  “Fine,” said Vaderian. He produced a cell phone from inside his cloak. “Then I’ll call them and tell them you stole the Han Solo blaster.”

  “No!” said Toby. “Don’t call them!”

  “Then get me something else.”

  “But…”

  “Now.” Vaderian held up the phone. “I’ll count to ten. One, two…”

  Toby’s mind raced.

  “…three, four…”

  He rubbed his face, trying to think of a way he could get out of his room and past his parents, down to the basement.…

  “…seven, eight…”

  Then Toby remembered: his room.

  “…nine…”

  “Stop!” said Toby. “I have something for you.”

  “What?” said Vaderian.

  “A Luke Skywalker blow-up doll.”

  Vaderian almost dropped his light saber. “You have one?” he said. “An original?”

  Toby nodded glumly, racked by guilt.

  “That’s more like it,” said Vaderian eagerly, putting away the phone. “Where is it?”

  “I’ll get it,” said Toby. “But you have to stay out here.”

  “All right,” said Vaderian. “But don’t try anything stupid. If you don’t come right back here with the Luke doll, I’m calling your parents, understand? I might even ring the doorbell and introduce myself.”

  “No, no, I’ll bring
you the doll,” Toby said. “Just don’t make any noise, okay?”

  He turned, slowly raised his bedroom window, and climbed onto the sill. In the darkness, he felt around with his foot, locating the Lego castle he’d built when he was nine. He didn’t want to step on it, so he reached his foot out farther, shifting his weight into the room.

  Too far. Toby’s foot missed the edge of the bed. He tumbled into the room and landed on the floor with a loud thump, followed by a louder BAM as the window, which he’d let go of as he fell, slammed shut. A moment later he heard voices from the living room and the sound of footsteps coming his way. He quickly rolled under his bed.

  The bedroom door opened, flooding the room with a soft light from the hallway. Through the small gap between his dangling bedspread and the floor, he saw his mom’s silhouette in the doorway.

  “Toby?” she said. “Are you all right?”

  Toby was about to answer when his voice, coming from the speaker under his pillow, said, “I’m fine. I’m trying to sleep.”

  “We heard a noise,” said his mother. “It sounded like it came from your room.”

  The computer, not recognizing these words, hesitated, then said, “I just want to sleep, okay?”

  “Yes, but it was quite a loud noise,” said his mother.

  “I-fell-out-of-bed-but-I’m-okay!” said Toby, talking fast, to beat the computer.

  “I’m fine. I’m trying to sleep,” said the computer.

  His mother hesitated.

  “Are you sure?” she said. “You sound…strange.”

  “I’m-fine-really-Mom-thanks!” Toby said quickly.

  “I’m fine. I’m trying to sleep,” said the computer.

  His mother hesitated again. Under the bed, Toby held his breath.

  “All right, then,” said his mother. “Good night.”

  “Good night!” Toby said quickly.

  “Good night,” said the computer.

  His mother closed the door. Toby waited a few moments, listening to her footsteps recede. He crawled out from under the bed and turned off his computer, then pulled the Luke Skywalker doll out from under the covers. Carefully, he raised the window again. Vaderian and the Wookiee emerged from the shadows. Toby pushed the doll through the window. Vaderian took it eagerly, and, after inspecting it for a moment, he giggled softly and handed the doll to the Wookiee. Toby started to lower the window, but Vaderian’s black glove stopped it.