The Carnal Prayer Mat (Rou Putuan)

by Li Yu

  The Knave shook his head. "No, I can't do that, because I've vowed never to rob any people I've robbed before. Having robbed them once, I couldn't bring myself to rob them of their property again, let alone of their womenfolk's chastity! But I'll make a point of watching out from now on. When I enter someone's house and see a beautiful girl, I won't necessarily take anything, I'll come back and consult you about a rendezvous. That's something I can do for you."

  "I failed to give a gallant man his due," said Vesperus. "My suggestion was presumptuous, I now realize. There is one thing I must mention, though: I am grateful for your offer, but if you find a strikingly beautiful girl, whatever you do, don't steal anything. Don't let the sight of her valuables tempt you into forgetting your promise. If you can arrange something for me, I'll make a point of rewarding you."

  "Now you really have failed to give a gallant man his due! If I were looking for a reward, I'd do better to take what you have on you right now. Why shouldn't I be tempted by the sight of your valuables? Even if you make a point of rewarding me, the reward will be just the promise of a contribution or two after you're in office. I can well imagine what those contributions will be worth; ten of them together wouldn't equal what I make from a single robbery. That kind of reward you can forget about. I'm promising you a beautiful girl. Of course, when I find one for you, the onus of seducing her will be on you. I can't guarantee everything!"

  "I'm a specialist in the art of seduction," said Vesperus. "You can set your mind at rest."

  "Now that you've met me," said the Knave, "there's no need to go off anywhere else. Why not rent some rooms here and get on with your studies? But don't depend solely on me. If you see someone good, you should go ahead on your own. If I find someone, I'll come and report. With both of us on the lookout, we're sure to find one or two. We can hardly draw a complete blank."

  Jubilant, Vesperus told his servants to look for lodgings. Then, before letting the Knave take his leave, he insisted on bowing another four times in friendship. With sworn brothers in the past, his friendships had been cemented with eight bows; only in the Knave's case had he given as many as twelve. In later times someone wrote a poem pointing out the error of Vesperus's ways, namely, his lechery and his consorting with a criminal. The poem ran,

  Since lust misleads us, dims our sight,

  He took thief for hero in lust's despair.

  Then swearing an oath, he forged a bond

  With the lowliest creatures of earth and air.

  Having bent the knee to a humble thief,

  How should he answer the emperor's grace?

  Your views, good sir, are enlightened indeed;

  In the world today we honor the base.

  CRITIQUE

  The Knave's character is ten times better than Vesperus's. It was not Vesperus, but the Knave, who swore brotherhood with a thief.

  Lone Peak 's three abstentions and the Knave's five are the most remarkable and delightful writing of all time, something quite unparalleled in fiction. Even if you tried, you couldn't prevent them from enjoying a wide circulation!

  CHAPTER FIVE

  In selecting beauties, he rigorously compiles a list of names; For personal reasons, he leniently admits an older woman.

  Poem:

  Her girlish beauty's on display;

  How passionate? One cannot say.

  In bed she oughtn't to be shy,

  For soldiers must not run away.

  Once a mother, already old,

  Until then, a simple maid.

  Her sole desire, that beauty stay;

  But graying locks can't be delayed.

  After parting from the Knave, Vesperus took up residence in a temple that was a secondary abode for the Immortal Zhang, god of fertility. It had few rooms, which normally were not rented to travelers. But because Vesperus was prepared to pay a very high rent-other places charged one tael a month and he offered two-the Taoist priests, in their eagerness for a paltry profit, made an exception in his case.

  Why was he willing to pay such a high rent to stay at this temple? Because the Immortal Zhang was extremely efficacious and women flocked to him from far and wide to pray for sons. It was Vesperus's idea to treat the temple as an examination hall, and that was his purpose in moving there. Sure enough, he found that every day brought several groups of ladies to the temple to burn incense, ladies who differed from the women attending other temples in that there were always one or two of them in every ten who were tolerably attractive.

  Why should that be, you ask. Surely Vesperus had not posted a notice banning all ugly women and admitting only the pretty ones? You must understand that every temple has its women visitors, who encompass the old, the middle-aged, and the young. Of these the old and middle-aged make up about two-thirds and the young one-third; thus the goodlooking women are outnumbered by the rest. But the women who came to this temple were all there to pray for sons. Now, old women are beyond menopause and cannot bear children, while middle-aged women are approaching it and have lost interest in child-bearing; thus the women who came there to pray for sons were all young. If any mature women did come along as companions, they were few in number. For the five or six years following the age of thirteen, all girls, goodlooking or not, have a certain bloom in their cheeks that men find subtly appealing. That was why, out of every ten visitors, there were always one or two who were tolerably attractive.

  Vesperus rose early each morning and, dressed as smartly as the leading man in a play, paced endlessly back and forth in front of the Immortal's throne. When he saw any women approaching, he would duck out of sight behind the throne and listen while the Taoist priests communicated the women's prayers. He would watch as the women took incense sticks and knelt down, carefully observing their looks and demeanor and then dashing out when they least expected it.

  At sight of his peerless looks and ethereal manner, the women would gasp in astonishment, assuming that the sincerity of their prayers had brought the Immortal's statue to life to provide them with sons. Not until Vesperus came down the steps and swaggered about did they realize that he was a mere human being, by which time their souls had been captured by this living Immortal Zhang. So wild with desire did he drive them that they sent him loving glances and meaningful winks and could scarcely tear themselves away. Some dropped their handkerchiefs on purpose, while others left their fans behind. Vesperus could count on receiving several such tokens of admiration each day.

  From this time on, his behavior grew quite irresponsible and his mind ever more depraved. He went so far as to proclaim, "I deserve to enjoy the most beautiful women in the world. A man as handsome as I am deserves to have women dancing attendance on him. There's nothing strange about that!"

  On moving to the temple he had put together a small notebook, which he kept in his pocket. On the cover were inscribed the words:

  GARNER THE BEAUTIES OF SPRING FROM FAR AND WIDE

  Any woman who came to the temple to pray and who possessed a degree of beauty would have her particulars entered in the notebook as follows: name, age, husband's surname and personal name, address. Beside her name Vesperus drew circles in red ink to indicate her ranking: three circles for summa cum laude; two for magna cum laude; and one for cum laude. After each name he added comments in parallel-prose style like those written on examination scripts, to describe the woman's good points.

  Storyteller, what you've just said doesn't tally with what you said before. When the women came into the temple, all Vesperus could do was stand aside and observe them. That way he wouldn't have learned the women's own names, let alone their husbands' names and addresses! Are you trying to tell us that he stopped them and asked them their particulars?

  Gentle reader, you've missed the point again. When a woman goes into a temple to pray, she invariably has a priest beside her to communicate her prayer. When she comes in, he always asks her, "What is your surname, please? Your personal name? Your age? Which believer's wife are you? Where do you live?" Even i
f she doesn't answer the questions herself, she'll have a servant or a maid there to answer for her. As he listened, Vesperus made mental notes about each woman and then entered them in his book after she had left. What's so hard to believe about that?

  Within the space of a few months Vesperus had garnered almost all the beauties in the district. There was just one problem, however. Although he was lenient about admitting people to the examination, he was extremely strict in his grading. Many names were entered in his book, but all in the second or third categories; there was not a single name to which he gave three circles.

  My lifelong ambition, he thought, was to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. I used to think that the one I married was the most beautiful, but in the light of my recent experience I see that there are many others who are on a par with her. Clearly she doesn't qualify as the most beautiful. But it makes no sense to have a Secunda and a Tertia but no Prima. [42] Anyway, if a Prima does exist somewhere, I have yet to meet her. All those I see as I search and search are cum laude talent. I'll keep this by me as an alternate list, and if I never meet the one I'm looking for, I'll take it out and do the best I can with it. Meanwhile I'll wait and see what the next few days will bring.

  From this point on, not only was his grading even stricter, his admissions policy was also tightened up. One day, in a state of mental exhaustion, he was taking a nap in his room when one of his pages burst in and announced, "Master, come and see the beautiful girls! Come at once, or you'll miss them."

  Vesperus promptly arose, put on a new cap and an elegant gown, and then stopped to check his appearance in the mirror, all of which took a little time. When he got outside, he saw two girls, one dressed in pale rose, the other in lotus pink. Their companion was also a beauty, although somewhat older. Having burned their incense, the three women were on their way out of the temple when Vesperus caught a glimpse of them from a distance. The two girls looked to him like the Goddess of Mount Wu and the Fairy of the River Luo [43]-in a different class altogether from the women he had seen so far.

  Now, the way to look at a woman is the same as the way you look at calligraphy or painting. There is no need to study a scroll brushstroke by brushstroke; all you have to do is hang it up at a distance and judge its power. If it shows adequate power, it is a masterpiece; if its power is blocked and the scroll lacks vitality, it is no better than a print; however fine its brush technique, it is mere hackwork and hence worthless. Now, if a woman's beauty has to be examined close up to reveal itself, it will be limited at best. The qualities of a truly beautiful woman cannot be obscured, even though seen through a curtain of rain, mist, flowers, or bamboo. Even if she is glimpsed through a crack in the door or has hidden herself in the dark, a sense of her charm will emanate of its own accord and make the observer marvel, "How comes it she is like a heavenly one, how comes it she is like a god?" [44] If you think these qualities reside in her physical form, you are wrong; but if you think they lie outside of her physical form, you are also wrong. They are beyond explanation, hence marvelous.

  At sight of the girls, Vesperus went out of his mind. Since they had not yet reached the gate, he flew after them and, kneeling down outside the threshold, began kowtowing non stop. His pages and the priest were struck dumb, terrified the women would make a scene. But there was a method in Vesperus's madness, for he was calculating along these lines: if they are willing to go down this path with me, they will realize that I kowtowed because I saw how beautiful they were and was overcome with love; they can hardly return my greeting in public, but I doubt that they will make much of a scene. If, on the other hand, they are proper, highly principled girls and do make a scene, I'll just claim that I was visiting the temple to pray for a son and that, on noticing some women in there already, I knelt down and kowtowed outside to avoid mixed company. They can't possibly know I'm staying in the temple and refute me. Only because he had this ingenious plan up his sleeve and felt himself on safe ground did he dare kowtow.

  Just as he had supposed, the three women knew nothing about him. Thinking he had come there to pray for a son, they withdrew to one side and waited for him to finish. As he kowtowed, the two younger women turned and gave him a look, but it was not clear to him whether it was a look of interest or indifference. The older beauty, however, faced him squarely and put on a regular performance. With her hand over her mouth, she dissolved into giggles, nudging the two girls as if to get them to turn and acknowledge Vesperus's kowtows with her. As she departed, she also sent him a couple of sidelong glances.

  For a long time Vesperus remained stupefied, unable to utter a sound. Only when the women were half a mile away did he turn to the priest: "Those three just now-which household are they from? They're so beautiful!" But the priest, who had seen Vesperus's wildness almost result in an incident, was still furious with him and would not tell him anything.

  Vesperus considered following them home, but they were now too far away to overtake, so he returned to his room and sat there brooding. "How terrible!" he said to himself. "I know the names and addresses of all those women who don't appeal to me, but not of these two who do. What a pity I've let such peerless beauties slip through my fingers! How will I ever get over it?"

  He took out the notebook and placed it in front of him, intending to add the two women to his list. But then he realized, on picking up his brush, that he did not know what names to put down. So he wrote a short introductory note:

  On the ____________________ day of the ____________________ month, met two outstanding beauties. As their names are unknown to me, for the time being I name them for the colors of the dresses they were wearing. Apparent ages, temperaments noted below, to aid in search:

  Pale Rose Maid. Age about sixteen or seventeen. Judging from emotional attitude, seems married only short time, with sexual desires as yet undeveloped.

  Comment:

  Graceful as a cloud in motion, elegant as a column of jade. With ruby lips apart, looks as pretty as a flower that understands speech. Walking with delicate steps, moves as lightly as a swallow just able to fly. Brows constantly knitted, but not with grief-it's true that Xishi was given to frowning! [45] Eyes reluctant to open, though not from weariness-it's a fact that Yang Guifei was fond of sleep! [46]

  Even more endearing is the way she offers others her heart rather than gifts; on parting she left no trinket behind. She showed me her thoughts rather than her actions; on leaving she cast no backward glance. Surely a hermit among women, a recluse of the boudoir! If I place her in the highest group, who will deny she deserves it?

  Lotus Pink Beauty. Age in her twenties. From her expression, seems to have been long married but without exhaustion of original yin.

  Comment:

  A beauty soft and graceful, a bearing as light as if dancing. Eyebrows that need no Zhang Chang to paint them, a face that requires none of He Yan's powder. [47] Flesh that is between sleek and spare, its beauty being that its spareness cannot be increased nor its sleekness reduced. Makeup that is between heavy and light, its beauty being that its heaviness looks shallow and its lightness deep.

  The affecting thing about her is that the melancholy of her feelings goes unrelieved, like a lotus bud overdue to open; and that the concerns of her heart go unexpressed, like a flower that dreads its fading. She deserves to rank with the first girl ahead of all other blooms and to merit the title of supreme beauty. Only the Oral Examination will determine the top candidate.

  After finishing the comments, he remembered someone he had omitted. The beauty of these two goes without saying, he thought, but even the older one has not lost her youthful charm. To take just one feature, her eyes are pure gems; the pupils can positively speak. She sent me glance after glance, but because I was so intent on the others, I never responded-embarrassing thought! Her age may be rather advanced, her looks may have declined somewhat, and she may be a little too plump, but since she was with the others, she must be a relative of some kind. If only out of consideration for them
I ought to be more lenient in my grading. Moreover, she was willing to join in the fun and try to get the others to look at me. Obviously she has a lot of savoir faire. If I can only find her, the others, too, will surely fall to my bow. The trouble is I've no idea where to start looking. For the present I'll just enter her in my notebook with a summa rating: first, as a reward for being so responsive; second, as an extension of my love for the other two; and third, so that if I do find her, I can show her this notebook and, after winning her over, gain her help with the others.

  He changed the two of two outstanding beauties in the first line to three. Since she was wearing a dark dress, he named her

  Black Belle. Age about thirty-five, but looking only fifteen. From her bearing, it would seem that her desires have been long neglected and that her passions are incandescent.

  Comment:

  Of effervescent feelings and mercurial mood. Her waist may be thicker than a young woman's, but the line of her eyebrows is as arched as any bride's. Her cheeks are as rosy as ever, maintaining their flowerlike, original brightness; her skin still glows, showing its jadelike, pristine beauty.

  The most captivating thing about her is the way her glance, without any movement of the eyes, flashes as vividly as lightning amid the mountain crags; and the way, in her walk, without taking so much as a step, she wafts as lightly as clouds over the mountain tops. She deserves to be classed with those who express their feelings through their thoughts rather than their actions. Placed beside the other two beauties, she would not have to concede very much.