Nevermore, Dude

by L. J. Hamlin

  “Can I kiss you?” Jamie asks as Chris finishes off the strawberry.

  “Wish you would.”

  Chris licks sweet juice from his lips and leans in to meet Jamie halfway. Their lips meet, and as it has been every time they kiss, it feels right, so natural, like they’ve been doing it all their lives. They end up laying on their sides on the blanket they brought, exploring each other’s mouths with their hands clutching at clothes.

  “Can I?” Chris asks, sliding Jamie’s shirt up a little bit.

  Jamie nods. “But you, too.”

  They move apart enough to remove their T-shirts, and then, for the first time, Chris gets to feel Jamie’s bare skin against his chest and stomach. It’s such a simple sensation, but it goes straight to Chris’ dick, making it throb. They kiss again, legs tangling, hands moving over every inch of skin. Jamie has one of his nipples pierced, and Chris is fascinated by it. He’s seen it before, but never got to touch it. Now he rolls his fingers over it, making Jamie gasp against Chris lips.

  “I want to taste it,” Chris blurts out.

  “The piercing?” Jamie asks.

  Chris nods.

  “Okay. I’d like that.” Jamie cups the back of Chris’ head as he lowers his mouth to Jamie’s chest and licks over the small piece of metal and Jamie’s nipple, loving the way his whole body shudders.

  Chris finds himself liking the metallic taste mixed with warm flesh and the slight salt of Jamie’s skin.

  Jamie squirms against him. “You’re going to make me come in my shorts.”

  Chris grins against Jamie’s pectoral. He feels a rush he can’t really explain, kind of like power, because he’s turning Jamie on this much, just with his mouth.

  “Does that mean you want me to stop or do it more?” Chris asks.

  “I’d really like to come, but I don’t want to make a mess in my shorts and have to walk back to our cabin,” Jamie says, hips moving slightly against Chris, like maybe he can’t help it.

  “I could take your shorts off?”

  “Yeah, but let’s be quick. I don’t want to literally get caught with my pants down.” Jamie grins.

  Chris kisses him firmly and then tugs his shorts and underwear down, finally getting to see Jamie’s cock. He almost comes himself when he sees the Prince Albert piercing and the tattoo of a paw mark near the base.

  “So sexy. Can I touch you?” Chris asks.

  “Please do,” Jamie groans, and Chris wraps his hand around Jamie’s length and puts his mouth back to his nipple. He plays with both of Jamie’s piercings, and before long, Jamie is cursing nonstop and babbling that he’s about to come. Chris grabs one of the napkins they brought and uses it to catch Jamie’s release when he cries out.

  “You’re amazing,” Jamie pants.

  “You’re welcome.” Chris grins and then winces when he moves because he’s still so hard in his own shorts.

  Jamie covers himself and kisses Chris. “Let me take care of you.”

  Chris isn’t going to say no to an offer like that. He nods, and Jamie crawls down his body, tugging down his shorts and underwear. Without a second’s hesitation, Jamie goes down on him. Chris’ head falls back, and he curses. Jamie is very, very good at this, and Chris hopes his own skills will match up in the future.

  He’d be embarrassed how quickly his orgasm starts sneaking up on him if they hadn’t been waiting for this and fooling around so long. Chris wants Jamie, who flicks his eyes up, clearly getting the message, but he keeps sucking. Within moments, Chris has spilled over his tongue and felt Jamie swallow his seed.

  After, they lay side by side, clothes mostly fixed in case anyone walks into their clearing, but Chris has a feeling the look on their faces would give away what they’ve been up to, if not Jamie’s slightly swollen lips. Chris finds he needs to build more courage to talk than he had needed to ask for sex.

  “I want to keep seeing you after we go back to college.” Chris forces the words out, afraid of rejection.

  Jamie kisses him soundly. “Thank God. I really want that, too.”

  Chris smiles and puts his hand on the back of Jamie’s neck, pulling him in for another kiss, his body humming with happiness.

  Chapter 7

  His bag is packed and in his parents’ car, ready to deliver him back to college. Jamie never thought he’d be facing that with such a sense of sorrow. He knows he’ll see Chris again, believes Chris’ promises from the last few days, but still, walking into his and Chris cabin for the last time leaves a heavy feeling in his stomach, like he’s eaten rocks and not cereal for breakfast.

  Chris is in their room already, his bag still on the bed, but then, he’s not leaving till the evening. It’s Jamie who only has an hour or so left.

  “Jamie,” Chris says, straightening up and stepping towards him and then stopping. He sounds upset and it breaks Jamie’s heart into pieces.

  Jamie closes the gap between them and wraps his arms around Chris, hoping that somehow he can make Chris feel the emotion he’s feeling that he doesn’t think he can find the words for. Jamie presses his face against Chris’ neck and kisses the tender skin there lightly, delighted still by the way Chris shivers. His big body is as sensitive as any others, big and mean looking at times, but with a heart like marshmallow.

  “I have to go soon,” Jamie mumbles. He wishes he could explain how much he doesn’t want to go anywhere. Camp has been amazing, despite Gary, who thinking of still fills him with rage. He’s been with his family. Cassy has been so happy with her friends, especially Kelly, and everyone has been so accepting. Jamie is afraid to go back to the real world, to test their fledgling romance with long distance dating, to boot.

  “Do you have time to go for a walk?” Chris asks, hands still on Jamie’s hips but moving back a little so they’re looking at each other.

  “Yeah, I think so. Cassy won’t let them leave without me.” Jamie kind of wishes they would just leave him here. He knows he has to go back to class, and he wants to see his friends. At the same time, he wants to introduce them to Chris and he wants to meet Cherry and all of Chris other friends.

  Chris takes his hand and leads Jamie from the cabin. They walk together, hand in hand, past kids and families and end up at the dock where they had first kissed. Jamie finds it hard to believe that such a short time has passed. They sit down side by side, legs dangling over the dock this time.

  “My mom said I should ask you to come visit for my next big football game. And it’d be cool for you to see me play for real, but I know you don’t feel like you got in with that crowd. I swear no one will be shitty, but I don’t want to pressure you,” Chris says in a rush.

  Jamie takes a second to think. “Are you sure you’d want me there? I probably don’t look like most of the football going crowd.”

  So far Chris has been open and honest. He told his parents they were dating. They kept things casual around other people, so no one would complain about an unmarried teen couple sharing a cabin.

  He’s given Jamie no reason to question him and assume he’d be ashamed of Jamie, but it can be hard in just a few weeks to shake off the baggage he’s been carrying most his life. He looks at them together and they seem so different, but inside there not. They both care about family and their friends, about doing the right thing. They’re both passionate about their hobbies and fun loving.

  “I’d be proud to have you cheering for me. My friends will like you because they like me, and I like you,” Chris says, squeezing Jamie’s hand. He loves how big and slightly rough Chris’ hands are.

  Jamie kisses Chris’ cheek “I’ll come then, if you come to my next play.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  “Seal it with a kiss?” Jamie asks, tapping his lips.

  “I thought we weren’t kissing on the lips in public?” Chris frowns.

  Jamie strokes the back of Chris hand with his thumb. “Camp is over. No one can complain about us being roommates now.”

  “Oh, I forgot that for a sec
ond. I guess not sneaking around anymore will be nice. Not that sneaking wasn’t fun,” Chris says, stroking Jamie’s cheek before moving on for a light kiss.

  “We can go on a real date. As much as I love our picnics, I’d like to meet you at a restaurant or make small talk with your friends while I wait for you, go for meals, share dessert, make out in the back row of the movies.” Jamie has been trying his best to only think of all the things they’ll get to experience and not those he’ll miss.

  Chris smiles. “I really want to do all those things with you. You have my email and my cell number. We can text and Skype and complain about our days, just silly stuff, the mundane. I want all of that.”

  Jamie can’t help but kiss Chris hard. He wants that, too, and it makes his heart thud just to think that Chris wants these things.

  They stay together for as long as they can, but too soon they’re walking to the parking lot. Jamie can see his parents and Cassy already in the car, waiting, trying to act like they’re not watching, but Jamie can tell they are.

  “Will it be unbelievably sappy if I text you my whole way home?” Jamie asks.

  “I don’t care if it is and, like, call me once your back home?” Chris asks.

  Feeling a surge of warmth, Jamie grabs Chris around the waist, pulling him close and kissing every inch of his face he can reach until someone, probably his dad, toots the car horn.

  “Be safe,” Chris says as they steal one last kiss.

  “You, too.” Jamie can’t get the word goodbye out of his throat, where it’s stuck like a shard of glass, so he turns and gets in the car.

  He looks back out the window as they pull away, and Chris stays there watching as they drive away.

  Chapter 8

  “First date nerves?” The waitress asks as Chris fiddles with his napkin.

  Chris smiles “No, five-year anniversary actually, but I still get nervous he won’t show up.”

  The waitress laughs. “That’s adorable. What do they look like? I’ll keep an eye out for them.”

  “He’s just dyed his hair fire engine red and shaved both sides, so he’s gorgeous.” Chris sighs. Over the years he’s come to love the smell of fresh hair dye because it makes him think of Jamie who he declared his love for two months into dating after a football game he lost. It had slipped out when Jamie was trying to cheer him up and Chris had explained he didn’t need to be made happy, because he was just because Jamie was there with him cleaning grease paint and mud off his face before he got the shower.

  “I think that’s him rushing in now, unless there are two hotties with red hair and undercuts dining here tonight.” The waitress points and Chris looks up, and like every time he looks at Jamie something shifts inside of him and everything feels right in his world.

  “That’s my guy,” Chris can’t help the pride in his voice, because this man is with him, loves him.

  The waitress seats Jamie, pours him a glass of water, and leaves them with the menus.

  Chris takes a second to just look at Jamie, he looks well. “How was work?”

  “Good, no unneeded drama,” Jamie grins. He works in a theater, managing it and sometimes acting in plays when he’s needed. He seems to live it and Chris can remember the first time he saw Jamie act in a college play, the joy it brought Jamie, and had always wanted him to have that.

  Chris automatically reaches for Jamie’s hand to find it already reaching for his “How was training?”

  Chris has been coaching football since college, though he actually prefers teaching to playing, since he has more energy for other things but he still gets to be part of the sport he loves. “Good, I think they have a real chance of winning this season.”

  “Next game still a Saturday? I’m still free of you want me to come.”

  “You know I always want my lucky charm,” Chris says happily. Having Jamie at his games has always given him a boost and made him feel like a winner, first as a player and now as a coach. He knows that Jamie doesn’t always feel like he belongs at games, but most of the time he’s been made welcome and when people have been shitty Jamie has stood up for himself and made it clear he wouldn’t be scared off by homophobic comments.

  They order food and talk about their days at work. Jamie seems to be in a good mood, but by the time they get to dessert he seems to be acting strange, he’s twitchy and nervous, seeming distracted.

  “Is everything okay?” Chris asks. His paranoid mind tries to whisper that Jamie is building up to dump him, but Chris knows him better. Jamie would never ask him to a nice restaurant and call it quits over chocolate cake.

  Jamie bites his lip. “I’m fine. Have some of the cake, it looks good.”

  They had ordered a slice of cake to share and Chris frowns but picks up his fork and cuts into the cake. He takes a bite and it’s good, and then he spots it, the glimmer of gold amongst the chocolate and he breaks the cake open with his fork to find a ring. A simple wide gold band with a ruby set in it, his favorite stone.

  “Jamie?” Chris says in shock, and when he looks up from the ring in his hand he finds Jamie out of his seat kneeling on one knee.

  “I’ve been practicing what I’d say. At first I was going to ask you at home, but Cassy convinced me this was more romantic, and I’m rambling but I want to…what I want to say is I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I’d be honored if you would be my husband,” Jamie says, his face and voice full of emotion.

  Chris holds out the ring and Jamie looks heartbroken. “Put it on me.”

  Jamie face breaks out into a relieved smile and he takes the ring in trembling hands and puts the ring onto Chris’ ring finger. Jamie stands up and kisses Chris and Chris fists his hands in the front of Jamie’s shirt and drags him closer, kissing him deeper.

  Chris has thought about marriage. It was something he wanted but he’s not been sure Jamie was on the same page and he hadn’t wanted to make waves if Jamie wasn’t ready. They sit back down and the restaurant goers around them applaud loudly. Jamie takes a fork full of cake and offers it to Chris who takes it with his mouth. Nothing has ever tasted better.

  Chapter 9

  Jamie and Chris are mingling in the reception hall together and Jamie can’t believe they have done it, they stood up in front of their families, their friends, and declared their love for each other. They promised to love each other for as long as they both lived and it had been scary, nerve inducing, but so worth it to be here now, surrounded by people but with his hand in Chris’, holding his husband’s hand for the first time.

  “Big brothers,” Cassy says, coming over and sounding delighted.

  “Brothers, I like that.” Chris grins.

  Cassy hugs him. “Kelly and I talked about it, we’re not only sisters thanks to you two but we each have another brother.”

  “I’m glad to be your second big brother,” Chris says happily.

  Cassy sips her champagne. “Mom says it’ll be harder to date with two older brothers.”

  “Any one worthy of you will take on the challenge,” Jamie points out. Cassy had come out as pansexual and non-binary, using she and they pronouns. At eighteen, Jamie was the first person she told, even before Kelly. Jamie has been determined that if they want a partner, Cassy will have one that respects all aspects of her and he knows Chris feels the same way.

  “I’m nice to Kelly’s boyfriend,” Chris points out.

  Cassy snorts. “Only because he’s a football player.”

  Jamie grins. “She has you there, lover.”

  “No ganging up on me, you’re my husband, that means you’re on my side in arguments now,” Chris pouts.

  “Don’t sulk, baby,” Jamie says, leaning in to kiss the mock-unhappy look from Chris’ face. He knows Chris isn’t jealous of Cassy any more than he is of Kelly. They’re both close to their families, especially their baby sisters. Jamie knows they both have big enough hearts for more than one kind of love.

  Cassy pulls a face. “You two are being d
isgustingly cute,”

  “It’s our wedding day, it’s allowed.” Chris grins happily, wrapping one arm around Jamie’s waist.

  Jamie leans against Chris side. “We’re husbands,”

  He’s not going to get sick of saying that any time soon. Jamie takes Chris’ hand with his wedding and engagement ring on it and links it with his, bringing both up to his lips for a brief kiss.

  “Adorable, but you’re my brothers so I’m going to go get another drink. You have to be social for a while longer, so no slipping off to your room yet,” Cassy warns.

  “Like we’ve even thought about bed,” Jamie lies.

  Chris sighs. “First night as husbands.”

  “Go be social,” Cassy orders.

  They groan but do as they’ve been told. They get gushed over by their parents who seem so happy and Jamie is glad they’ve always had their support. None of their family thought a goth drama dude and an all-American football star were too different to make it work. The only people who’d said stuff like that didn’t matter and they’d got over their own doubts quickly.

  It feels like forever before they finally slip away from the dance floor, having had way more than their first dance, and they head to their room in the hotel. Jamie closes the door behind them and watches as Chris goes over to an ice bucket with champagne where he pops the cork and pours two glasses.

  Jamie walks over to where his husband is standing and has to stop for a second, wanting to pinch himself because Chris is his husband—his jock who plays football at family BBQs and lets the kids win even though he could beat them without trying. Jamie had never imagined he’d be standing in a hotel penthouse with his husband, the boy he met as a kid at camp and then thought he’d hate as a teen.

  “I was an asshole at camp. Why did you put up with me?” Jamie blurts out, feeling nostalgic as he joins Chris and takes his glass. He’s had a few drinks and he’s not drunk, but he knows from years with Chris that he is bordering on tipsy.