Married...With Twins!

by Jennifer Mikels

  He wanted to sit there with her for a moment and hold her, tell her that he was sorry for everything. He fought his own need and carried her to the car.

  After he settled her into the passenger’s seat, he fastened the twins in their car seats. Using the cellular phone, he made a call to the hospital the moment he backed out of the driveway.

  Hundreds of times during the past months, Luke had walked down the hospital corridor past the waiting room. Whenever he’d been seeing patients or been there for surgery, he’d somehow divorced himself from the memory of the last time he’d sat on the waiting room sofa. With a clearness that pained him, he recalled that February night. The run from ER after learning that his newborn daughter was dying, sitting with Val in the recovery room. Feeling impatient and powerless, he’d finally left her and sought the pediatrician and the heart specialist in charge. Colleagues of his, they’d merely shaken their heads when he found them.

  Numb, he’d started back to the recovery room, but had seen his mother and Edwin on that sofa and told them about their granddaughter’s death. He’d felt drained-empty. And the walk to the recovery room, and Val, had seemed endless. Nothing had ever prepared him for the anguish he felt when he delivered the news to his wife that their daughter had died.

  Nothing, he realized, and looked down as he felt movement beside him. Snuggling closer to him, Traci raised a face marred by too much worry for someone so young. Luke gripped her tighter. On the other side of him, Brooke slouched against the sofa cushion with her head bowed. Her quietness frightened him. The only time he’d seen a child so still, the boy had been terribly sick.

  He said her name softly. “Brooke?”

  As she slowly raised her head, he saw the tears streaking her chubby cheeks and opened his arm to her, praying she would let him hold her.

  She fell against him, her tiny arm draping across his midsection. “’Fraid.” She whimpered and shook her head. “Vali say no go ‘way.”

  Luke lowered his head. “What?”

  “Vali say so.”

  It didn’t take much to guess the conversation that had existed between the girls and Val before he arrived home. With her eyes on him, he searched for the right words now to comfort her. “She’s not going anywhere.” He tightened his embrace, realizing in such a short time how much he’d come to love both of the girls,

  “Lu-cas go?”

  Lightly he stroked her hair. He knew he couldn’t guarantee that he would be there when they woke up in the morning or when they wanted a book read at night. But he’d made a commitment he planned to keep. He’d always be near for them. “No, I’m not going away, either.”

  Curling against him, she popped her thumb into her mouth.

  He waited for her eyes to meet his again. “Cross my heart,” he said, and gave her a smile.

  Her serious, blue eyes searched his face for an uncomfortably long moment. “’Kay.”

  Within minutes, he knew by her deep even breaths that she, too, like Traci, had fallen asleep.

  Nearby the elevator doors opened. “Lucas.” His mother rushed toward him. In her haste to come to the hospital, she’d slipped on two different shoes. A step behind her, Val’s grandfather wore the same grim look he had the night of Kelly’s birth.

  Luke whispered an assurance to both of them. “She’s in X ray now.”

  “She bumped her head?” Edwin asked quietly. “How?”

  “I don’t know, but except for a mild concussion, she seemed okay to me.”

  “Oh.” His mother heaved a sigh.

  “If you’d sit with the twins, I’ll go see what’s happening.”

  His mother was already on the other side of Traci and easing her from the crook of his arm.

  “I’ll hold Brooke,” Edwin said, and worked his way into the vacated spot.

  Luke had meant what he said about Val to his mother and Edwin. Still, the need to see her overwhelmed him.

  * * *

  Resting her head back on the pillow, Val closed her eyes and felt herself inching toward a foul mood. She hated the dumb hospital gown. She hated being in the hospital. Everyone had asked the same question. Does your head hurt? It seemed like a silly question to her. Of course, it hurt. But she wanted to go home. She needed to be with the girls. She needed to talk to Luke.

  What if it was too late? What words would soften the hurt? Even as her head throbbed, she wiggled to the edge of the mattress to dangle her feet.

  “What are you doing?”

  Wincing, she gripped the sheet, not the least bit fazed by Luke’s authoritative doctor tone. “I’m going home.”

  He eyed the red lump at the edge of her hairline. “Guess again.”

  “I don’t want to stay here.”

  He realized it had been a long time since he’d seen her stubborn streak. “Too bad.” He walked to the chart hanging at the end of the bed. His colleague’s scribble was worse .than his, but Luke deciphered enough to feel relief sweep through him.

  “Is that your best bedside manner?”

  “My best,” he confirmed.

  He sounded angry to her. “It’s a miracle you have any patients.” Val frowned at the crown of his head. “What does it say?”

  “That you need to be watched.” For another moment he kept his eyes on the chart. He’d been damn scared when he’d seen her on the floor with that cloth against her head. “You have to stay tonight.”

  Annoyed at her predicament and exasperated with him at the moment, she heaved a sigh. “I’d like to see the twins. Do doctors have some special privileges?”

  He’d give her whatever she wanted. “If there’s trouble getting them in here, I’ll sneak them in to see you.”

  Val’s mood gentled. Of course he would. He’d always done his best for her. Always. “We need to talk, don’t we?” she asked softly. All that had passed between them during those painful moments couldn’t be ignored. He’d realized first what had slowly dawned on her. They’d never heal what was wrong with their marriage until they shared honest feelings about Kelly’s death.

  Val took a hard breath and stared down at her hands, at the engagement ring she’d loved from the moment he’d placed it on her finger, at the wedding band that had symbolized how much they loved each other.

  From outside the room, two nurses chattered while passing by, their rubber soles squeaking with each step they took. “You should rest,” Luke said.

  Val gave her head a shake and winced again. “No, don’t do that,” she appealed as he started for the door. “We have to face this.”

  Under his breath, he cursed. He wanted to avoid this now. Almost desperately he wanted to tell her to lay down, and he wanted to get out of the room before more words that could only hurt both of them were said.

  “Luke, we can’t run from it.”

  Run. That’s exactly what he wanted to do. But he’d done that once already. Nothing has changed, he realized. He told himself that he would prove she could depend on him, but he was ready to flee, like before, and escape into silence to avoid more painfully honest moments. No, he couldn’t run anymore.

  As he shut the door for privacy, Val prodded herself to say what he needed to hear. “Unfairly, I faulted you for not doing the impossible-saving our daughter,” she said softly. Her heart twisted with the admittance. While she’d protected herself from more pain, she’d hurt him badly. “How could you be to blame for anything that happened? Nothing was your fault.”

  Her words didn’t soothe him. “Be honest, Val,” he said on a hard breath. “Admit you can’t forget that I let you down.”

  She realized she’d hit her head, but she wasn’t confused until this second. “Let me down. How did you do that?”

  “You have to ask?” he practically shouted. “Have you really forgotten that you were alone when you had Kelly?”

  “Luke.” She started to move from the bed.

  He crossed to her in two strides. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “I want you near.”<
br />
  “You’re crazy,” he said, cupping her shoulders and easing her back on the bed.

  Val wouldn’t lay down. “Where were you that night?” She didn’t wait for his answer. “In surgery.”

  That didn’t ease his conscience. His wife had been caught in a medical emergency of her own. To his mind, there was no acceptable excuse. When she’d been told their daughter might not live, she’d been alone. “I know I failed you and Kelly.”

  She understood now. “And if you can’t accept that, why should I be able to?”

  He ached being so near and not touching her. “That was my fault, Val. I should have been there for you.”

  How had she let so much go wrong between them? She loved him. You don’t hurt the person you love. Val closed her eyes, but there was no way to block out what she’d done. Through silence and withdrawal after Kelly’s death, she’d convinced him that more than grief had caused her to pull away from him. She’d made him believe that in her eyes he was guilty of not saving Kelly, of failing her as a doctor and father. And of letting his wife down.

  Val pressed her lips together. What a burden he’d suffered with all this time. Looking up at him, she swallowed hard. This wasn’t time for tears. “So now what?”

  His eyes narrowed as if trying to see inside her.

  “Do we forget all we’ve worked for? Do we let the twins down?”

  “Dammit, you know I wouldn’t do that.”

  “Yes, I do know that. I know the kind of man you are. You were there for your mother when she needed you. You did all you could for Kelly. And you’ve always been there for me.” She clutched his hand, afraid he’d pull away. “All those months when I turned away from you, you never gave up on us until I forced you to when I said I wanted to move.”

  If she lost him, for the rest of her life, she’d be haunted by memories, more good than bad. And she wanted to make more memories with him. “You’ve never done anything wrong. I have,” she admitted.

  “Stop it!”

  As he jerked back, she used the only leverage she had. “I swear if you take one step away, I’m out of this bed.”

  “Don’t be dumb. You were hurt badly.”

  Val waited until he stepped closer again. “Yes, I was. And so were you because I kept us apart. I should have looked for another chance to have everything we’d once had, to have everything we possibly could have together,” she said, tugging on his hand to make him sit beside her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through, but I was so caught up in the loss that I kept pulling away, even when you wanted to have another baby.” She held his hand tighter, afraid if she let go, he’d be gone.

  Luke might have pulled back, but his mind cleared with her next words.

  “I was afraid, afraid to lose again.”

  “To lose?”

  Sadness for both of them heavy in her heart, Val nodded. A soft understanding came into the eyes on her. Later, she’d tell him feelings she’d had because of her childhood. Right now, he needed to hear other words. “I love you. I want to work this out. I need you,” she whispered on a shuddery breath.

  That was the last thing Luke had expected to hear her say to him.

  His silence unnerved her. She couldn’t believe she’d done so much damage. “Do you still love me?” she asked hesitantly.

  It amazed him that she had any doubts. “You know I do.” Leaning forward, she caressed his cheek. To have her touch again seemed like a miracle to him. Closing his eyes, he brought her hand to his lips. “I told the truth today. I’ve never not loved you.”

  Finally, Val mused. She tilted her head back so her eyes were level with his. “We are not going to throw everything away, are we? Two little girls need us-you and me. And-” She made a small sound as he slipped his arms around her. Relief and pleasure rose inside her. He held her with such strength, but there had been a time when he’d needed to lean on someone. If only she’d been there for him.

  “And I need you,” he murmured. He’d been dying inside at the thought of never feeling her in his arms or seeing her smile at him again.

  Val pulled back, unable to stop tears as she stared into the gaze searching hers. “So we’ll take a second chance?”

  No more distance between them, Luke told himself, resting his forehead on hers. If he’d held her, he’d have crushed her to him. “Depends.” Her fingers stilled on his face. “Want to marry me?”

  Joy filling her, she gave in to a short laugh. “We are married,” she reminded him, and framed his jaw with her hands.

  “Again,” he said, smiling now because, despite tears, she was. Behind him, he heard the click of the door opening, but with her mouth hovering close to his all he could think about was the taste of her. “I love you,” he murmured against her lips.

  “I…” Hearing squeals, Val sniffed and blotted away the moisture on her face before she looked over his shoulder toward the door.

  As Brooke and Traci charged into the room, Luke backed off the bed. The moment he lifted the girls up to the bed, they pounced forward to reach Val. Little arms curled around her neck and hugged her hard.

  Val laughed with happiness as Brooke tugged Luke’s hand so he sat again and treated him to a kiss on the cheek. “I love you,” Val finished when his gaze returned to her. Holding Traci, she swayed into him for the kiss she’d barely gotten before the invasion. “Guess this proves what everyone believes. We’re all perfect for each other.”

  With her quick kiss, Luke let the moment seep over him and grinned at the three women in his life. Despite all the hurt, he’d learned something valuable. To keep love alive, he couldn’t run from emotions ever again. Before a too serious mood slipped over him, he wiggled fingers that promised to tickle in the girls’ direction.

  The pleased audience of two giggled with delight.

  Val hadn’t thought it possible she’d ever love him more than she once had, but her heart swelled with emotion. “There’s something else you should know,” she said softly.

  The smile in her eyes made him tighten his arm at her back. “What’s that?”

  Lovingly Val caressed his cheek. He needed to know once and for all that he’d never failed anyone, especially their daughter. “You’re a wonderful daddy.”

  * * * * *

  Don’t miss the next book in Silhouette’s exciting DADDY KNOWS LAST series.

  Here’s a sneak preview of

  HOW TO HOOK A HUSBAND (AND A BABY)

  by Carolyn Zane available in October from Silhouette Yours Truly

  How To Hook a Husband (and a Baby)

  “Bang, bang! You’re dead!”

  Blowing on his imaginary pistol, Dustin Donovan shrieked with glee and crawled behind the couch as fast as his five-year-old knees could carry him.

  Wendy Wilcox, his baby-sitter, next door neighbor and dearest buddy affected her scariest voice. “Oh, no, I ain’t, you biscuit-eating sidewinder,” she shouted from behind the chair-and-blanket tent they’d built in the middle of her living room.

  Reaching into the breast pocket of her postal uniform for a handkerchief, she thrust it through the tent opening and waved it at Dusty. “Hey, sagebrush breath,” she called, and watched him drop back behind the couch, giggling all the while. “I want to make a treaty with you, you crazy, milk-mustached, cow puncher…and there’s chocolate milk in it for you.”

  Silence.

  Wendy grinned. She knew how much he loved chocolate milk. “And I just rustled up some peanut butter and jelly rations.” Again, silence. “Plus, I got us some chocolate chip cookies…”

  Dusty groaned. “Okay,” he agreed and clumped across the floor to settle next to Wendy at her coffee table. “But, we’re not done yet,” he informed her.

  Tossing Dustin a small package of cookies, Wendy reached for a pile of books and magazines she’d bought earlier that day. The blurb on the cover of the latest copy of Metropolitan magazine blared Do You Have What It Takes To Snare A Man? She shrugged. Obviously not, or she’d
have done it by now.

  Her gaze wandered to the book titles stacked in front of her. I’m Okay…We’re All Okay, So Why Am I Still Single? One book wondered, Are You Everybody’s Friend, Nobody’s Lover? Yep, she answered. How To Be Irresistible To Every Man, Every Time. She didn’t want to be irresistible to every man. Just one likable lug. She ran her fingers over her personal favorite, How To Hook A Husband. Hopefully, with all this advice she’d have that man in no time. Because, if the article she’d read last week held even a speck of truth, she had to do something if she was ever going to have a family of her own.

  Women over thirty-it had gloomily prophesiedhad little or no chance of ever tying the knot. And Wendy was only a month away from the big ThreeOh.

  The Big Three-Oh-No.

  Gadzooks! she thought, taking a big swig of her chocolate milk. She’d better get a move on. Time was running out.

  Travis Donovan pulled to a stop in his driveway and cut the engine of his large, American-made, 4-wheel-drive pickup. Tonight, Travis wanted nothing more than to spend a few minutes wrestling with his fiveyear-old son, then off to dreamland.

  His glance swept next door to Wendy’s place and landed on her picture window. Several lamps illuminated his son and Wendy as they gamboled around her disheveled living room. Travis grinned. Thank God for good old Wendy. She was a good egg, that Wendy. Real salt of the earth.

  Hunching thoughtfully over his steering wheel, Travis watched the two at play. Yep, she was nice enough, but personally, he couldn’t see the dazzling attraction his son had for her. Squinting at Wendy, he figured that she was probably just about as different from the women he usually dated as two women could be. Ye-es…definitely not for him. Though Travis knew that Dusty wanted him to fall madly in love with Wendy and make her his mommy.

  Travis hopped out of his truck and bound across the yard. As he drew nearer, he could hear his son’s giddy laughter and smiled to himself at the infectious sound. Peering through the darkness, he located the doorbell and alerted them to his arrival.