How to Bake a New Beginning

by Lucy Knott

  For the past twenty minutes Sabrina had been staring at the door. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she had used about six tissues already to wipe the sweat from her brow. To say she was nervous would have been an understatement. Normally she could keep her cool meeting musicians and acts, as usually she wasn’t allowed to say much – she simply did whatever Lydia asked of her.

  However, today would be anything but normal. Today was the day that her big sister Amanda’s friends were visiting from San Francisco to discuss their demo and possible representation. According to Amanda, Lydia would be stupid not to sign them. San Francisco Beat were four incredibly talented musicians, good-looking to boot, with an undeniable energy and charisma.

  But that wasn’t what was making Sabrina sweat out of excitement – no, it was the fact that they wanted her. Due to Amanda’s influence, and her and lead singer Dan being such close friends, it was Sabrina they wished to be assigned to. When Amanda first mentioned this to Sabrina, Sabrina had laughed. There would be no way in hell Lydia would be enthusiastic about that. Amanda had assured Sabrina to trust her, Lydia would want this band under her label and therefore she believed there was an incredibly high probability that Lydia would meet their request.

  The clock ticked annoyingly loudly. Sabrina rose from her chair with thoughts of throwing it out the window, when she heard voices down the corridor. This was it, the moment of truth. She had seen Dan on Skype a few times and had caught a glimpse of the others in photos Amanda had shared from her holiday, but she had yet to speak to them face to face.

  Her stomach bubbled in anticipation. Where should she stand? Should she sit back down? No, she was up now, and she would have to stand to greet them anyway. She resigned to half sitting, half leaning on the front of her desk, when the room grew a touch icier. She took a steadying breath in as Lydia sauntered into her office first, making the place feel cramped and cold. It was a sharp contrast to the warmth that came next as Dan entered her tiny quarters.

  As Lydia made herself comfortable in Sabrina’s chair, Sabrina shook hands with Dan, James and Dylan. They each introduced themselves before the last member entered the room, showing her his back as he closed the door behind him. Sabrina watched the others take a seat on her small couch. Dan chose to rest on the arm, then she averted her eyes, looking back to the door while simultaneously taking a step forward to greet the final piece of the act: drummer Levi. As she did so, Levi turned in to the room, taking a giant stride forward to do the same and meet her. Sabrina stumbled back into her desk as she collided with his large frame, knocking her coffee mug all over her baby pink skater dress and the floor.

  Both she and Levi immediately reached for the tissues, muttering under their breaths countless apologies. James and Dylan looked highly amused. Dan was eyeing up Levi in a way Sabrina could not yet read and Lydia looked as though mud had been splattered on her most expensive Dior heels. She had a face like thunder.

  ‘That was my fault, please let me get your dress cleaned for you,’ Levi said. His voice was soft and silvery, with a confident and rich tone that made the hairs on the back of Sabrina’s neck prickle.

  ‘No, no, please, it was all my fault,’ she fussed, automatically placing a hand on Levi’s forearm to control the situation and usher him to leave the mess and sit down. ‘Please, you sit down – this is no trouble, I’ll clean it later,’ she added, finally looking up to meet his burning gaze. Heat flooded her cheeks the moment their eyes met. His eyes were like pools of melted chocolate; they had her hypnotized.

  ‘I hope that doesn’t stain the carpet or it will have to come out of your next paycheque.’ Lydia’s shrill laugh was like a pin, piercing Sabrina and Levi’s bubble, which they seemed to have created in the middle of the room. She hurriedly looked away from Levi and made to stand by the door. He looked momentarily frozen as he watched her, a soft smile appearing on his face.

  He walked over to her and placed a hand on her elbow and pointed towards that last spot on the couch. Sabrina could feel her soul icing over and didn’t dare look Lydia’s way – she could feel the daggers she was getting. She also didn’t want to make any more of a scene than she already had, and so obliged Levi’s gentlemanly request.

  After the disastrous introduction the meeting had gone as well as expected. Lydia had taken every possible opportunity to put Sabrina down and she hadn’t been subtle about it either.

  ‘I would like to give you this opportunity to rethink your decision regarding management. As you can see, we have a team of fully qualified staff. I alone have been in this business over twenty years. Should you wish to work with someone more experienced, do not hesitate to speak up. Don’t be distracted by young blondes in floaty dresses when you need a woman in a killer suit who knows how to take charge and get you what you want.’

  And so forth. The boys had sat and listened politely for a good thirty minutes. Sabrina wasn’t quite sure if the wicked witch had put a spell on them and turned them to the dark side. Then ten minutes later, after Sabrina had given them each a printed proposal of what she believed she could do for them and what she thought best for their band, based on the music she had heard, Dan had stood up, thanked Lydia and informed her that they would be delighted if the company would have them, but they were more than confident in their choice of management and that if there was a problem with that they would look elsewhere.

  Sabrina had received another dirty look from Lydia before Lydia had succumbed to Dan’s knee-buckling raspy voice and intent stare and handed them over to her. Career wise, that had been the best day of Sabrina’s life.

  ***

  Jet lag was fighting hard with Sabrina. Throw in the nightmares she had been having since Grandpa had passed and sleep had been next to impossible. Outside on the balcony, the birds were singing their last songs as the sun began to set. The orange hue of the sky cast golden shadows upon the kitchen as Sabrina busied herself with her aunties’ espresso pot.

  Sabrina adored her aunties’ treasures. Just looking at the worn espresso machine lightened her mood. She thought about the millions of coffees this little pot had produced over the years, the conversations that were held while enjoying its contents, the biscotti consumed in perfect accompaniment. Italians sure knew how to take pleasure in the simplest of things. Coffee might not have been the best choice considering her current sleep deprivation, but she needed it to face the task at hand.

  Focusing on pouring the rich black liquid into the cute flower-print espresso cup, she willed her worries to leave her be for a few days. The bags under her hazel eyes were more noticeable than ever. Work was draining every bit of energy she had left, and there wasn’t much in reserve after recent events. After getting reacquainted with the family and enjoying a fresh bowl of homemade pasta and homemade tomato sauce that afternoon, the whole family had stepped out for a stroll around the village.

  Sabrina had kept her eye on the time and with the time difference between Italy and LA had stayed behind to make a phone call. With her coffee in hand she paced the living room for a good fifteen minutes trying to pick up the courage to ring Lydia, her horrible boss.

  Unlike her big sister, confidence hadn’t always come so naturally to Sabrina. Sure, she was the most laid-back out of the three sisters and rarely cared what people thought, but she had to admit, it mattered what her boss thought of her. Whereas Amanda had a quick wit and could stand up to anyone, Sabrina happened to hate confrontation and tried to avoid it at all costs. Like her signature floaty dresses and pastel colours conveyed, keeping things light and peaceful was what she was all about.

  Thinking back to the day that San Francisco Beat had walked into her office and changed her life, she couldn’t help laughing, which eased the nerves ever so slightly. She had been a flustered mess back then, but oh how their relationship had progressed. They had helped her build her confidence up around Lydia so much, so she strongly disliked that today’s task was proving so difficult.

  Amid being there for her fa
mily, she had put work thoughts on the back burner. Normally she had everything under control, planned ahead of time and with time to make a to-do list, but in this circumstance, though she was still efficient, routine had been thrown out the window. She had cancelled her flight back to the States and jumped on the plane to Italy without much thought.

  Yes, she had thought of her boys, but she knew they would be more than fine without her. She had already set up a schedule for them for the week she was with her sisters and she had sent over a few new appointments that she had pencilled in the diary for them to attend this week, so they had plenty to keep them occupied. It was her boss who struck the fear of God into her. The phone call had been inevitable and, of course, the professional thing to do, but the thought of speaking to Lydia when her brain was already fried had meant that she had put it off for as long as she deemed only a tad unprofessional.

  She had walked past the fireplace some zillion times already in the last five minutes. Her palms were sweaty, her legs like jelly and her only thoughts were of impending doom – not helpful. She repeatedly reassured herself that the wicked witch of LA would understand. Surely anyone would understand that at a time like this one would not be returning to work for a few days, and in Sabrina’s case, in another two weeks, since she was now in Italy.

  But that hadn’t stopped her mind from racing. Work had been beyond hectic over the last few months. San Francisco Beat were about to drop their second album and Sabrina was the one in charge. She had been working tirelessly to get the boys set up with the best gigs in town and to ensure that it was all done the way they wanted it. She had a lot to prove to her boss and the company that this was a band that did not need perfumes or high-end underwear commercials to sell their music. All they needed was some hip bars, a stage and a good crowd and Dan, Levi, James and Dylan would do the rest.

  ***

  Sabrina felt like she had hit the jackpot. Many a night she had walked into her tiny apartment and raised her arms above her head in a sort of victory celebratory dance. She owed Amanda a fabulous Christmas present this year. It had only been a week that she and San Francisco Beat had been working together and already she knew they were the perfect fit. The boys were everything she ever wanted as clients.

  They were the epitome of real musicians, real artists, whose passion for what they did ran through their veins. Dan, Levi and Dylan had all known each other since kindergarten, where their love of drawing and music first connected them. Levi had related their initial meeting to Sabrina fondly, explaining that Dan had been impressed by a lion that Dylan had drawn one day during free play and struck up a conversation – nothing too deep, they were only three years old after all and Levi had overheard them talking and had to see the lion for himself.

  Dan had been right, as would become a common occurrence – the lion was awesome and from that day on they were inseparable. Music classes saw them sitting next to each other, often going off track and ignoring the teacher’s instructions, as they played to the beat of their own drum. A beat that, even at only three going on four, always sounded great and managed to be in sync with each other every single time. Levi swore he saw the teacher look astounded on more than one occasion, even when trying to tell them off.

  James joined the creative bunch later in high school and it had felt like they had found their missing piece. They became quite the handful for their teachers, not in a malicious way, more in that they weren’t interested in what was going on, albeit except for Dan. Levi had expressed that in hindsight Dan probably would have gotten better grades and become a genius professor or literature legend, like his idol, Jack Kerouac, had the boys not distracted him and practically given him no choice about starting a band and being their lead singer.

  But Sabrina was certain Dan had made his choice with one hundred per cent clarity and loved the band with everything he had, whether Levi knew this or not. It also explained why the band’s lyrics were raw, powerful and mesmerizing. Dan definitely had a way with words and there was still time for him to reach literary legend status – not that Sabrina could see Dan vying for a title or label, though she did think it sweet of Levi to think so highly of his best friend.

  San Francisco Beat played their first gig a few months after finishing high school. They had written tons of music and a novel’s worth of songs, but Levi, Dylan and James hadn’t been able to get Dan on a stage. There had been no school parties or basement gigs. Sabrina had found it hard to believe; in fact, her jaw had hit the floor at this piece of information.

  Watching Dan perform now was something of a holy experience. Whether he was stood on the spot gripping the mic, giving nothing but his raspy voice, raw and soulful, or walking round the stage engaging with audience members and going off on long monologues about the world and the latest book he had read, he was a born leader. Sabrina just couldn’t picture him nervously singing with his eyes closed or turning away from the crowds. It had taken a few years, but Dan had caught on.

  Before Amanda entered their lives, they had been playing all over San Francisco. They had been given some offers and opportunities along the way, but nothing fit with what they were after: celebrity status not being on the list. They knew it sounded cliché, but they weren’t in it for the money, they simply wanted to write and play and connect with people.

  Levi admitted to liking the attention, as did Dylan and James, but as long as that attention came from people digging their sound, they were happy. However, the boys weren’t stupid; getting older meant bills and being able to look after your family and they wanted that too. And if they could have all that from playing, they needed to get serious. Enter Amanda. Amanda was like an angel sent from above – Levi’s words, not Sabrina’s, though she guessed Levi was right. The boys had been a gift from above for her too, so that did kind of make Amanda a sort of guardian angel.

  And here she was a week in with a full schedule lined up for the boys and a record studio booked for next week. Sabrina felt like she was on fire, like she was finally doing what she was meant to do, and she couldn’t be prouder of who she was working alongside.

  ***

  It was thinking about her boys that gave Sabrina the surge of determination she needed, albeit with shaky hands, to finally press the green call button.

  ‘Lydia speaking.’ At the sound of her boss’s voice it felt like the Dementors had captured Sabrina and were trying to suck out her soul. The iciness hit her right in the chest and made her shudder. Just like that the sky morphed from an exotic blend of blood orange and deep mango to fifty shades of miserable grey.

  ‘Hi Lydia, it’s Sabrina. As you know I am currently back home in England, well, I was in England, and erm … well I’m now in Italy.’ A lump caught in her throat at the mere thought of mentioning her grandpa passing. ‘Well … erm, I have a family matter that I am attending to. My, my grandpa died a few days ago.’ Sabrina swallowed the lump down hard. ‘And well … that would explain Italy. I have family here, so I won’t be able to get back to LA for another two weeks.

  ‘With it being Christmas I just thought I could take this as vacation now, as you know I have never requested this much time off all at once before, but this was an unexpected matter and there was no way around it really. I know it will eat into next year’s vacation time, but I am fine with that. I will even work longer hours when I get back if you need me to; that will be no problem, I can do that.’ Her brain pleaded with her to stop rambling and stand tall but good God she was terrified. She hated that Lydia made her feel so weak. So she continued babbling.

  When Lydia spoke next, after an uncomfortable pause that Sabrina knew was perfectly placed to make Sabrina sweat, her voice was low and dripping with lust, causing Sabrina to wince. ‘Email me their schedule and I will see to it that everything goes according to plan. I look forward to getting to know your boys more intimately. Anything else?’ Sabrina’s stomach twisted into knots.

  ‘No, that’s all.’ Her knuckles turned white as she held the phone
with a death grip to her ear, not wanting to miss a thing Lydia said.

  ‘OK then. Have a great day.’ With that Lydia hung up and left Sabrina wondering if it had gone well or if her gut was right and something was off. Lydia had sounded way too happy to be taking on Sabrina’s clients and it unnerved her to think of her ulterior motive. Her pulse quickened and a vein in her forehead throbbed as she placed the phone back on the wall. Lydia hadn’t even uttered the words sorry or showed any sympathy towards her and her family. It made Sabrina feel sick and not for the first time it made her wonder why she was working for this woman.

  Suddenly she heard footsteps on the balcony that brought her back to the present. She tried to shake off her anger, not wanting it to fester inside her at what was already an emotional time. She tried too, to dispel the image of Levi’s face that had appeared at the forefront of her mind. Lydia was always very touchy-feely whenever she was in the vicinity of Levi and now, after having seen them together back in the offices, Sabrina knew why. Sabrina still couldn’t understand them being together. Despite what she saw, she truly did not want to believe it.

  And she knew it would not do well for her to let these images or feelings run wild in her thoughts. She would only cause herself more harm and stress. Letting out a heavy-hearted breath she finished her coffee and went in search of biscotti.

  Chapter 7

  Grandpa’s Olive Bread

  Ingredients:

  Yeast

  Tipo 00 flour (Italy’s finest)

  Olives

  Egg

  Butter

  A little salt, pepper and olive oil

  What to do:

  Prepare dough like Grandpa prepares pizza dough.

  Add olives – you can chop them if you’d like.

  Place in dish to cook. (Ask Grandpa for temp of oven.)

  Brush the top with beaten egg.

  The small village of Orzoro lay still and the sun peeked through the cloudy sky on Thursday morning. Louisa felt it symbolic to her mood. Waking up this morning she had been fighting the strong urge to hide under her flower-printed blankets and lie in the darkness forever, but a little voice in her head told her to seize the day: a voice that had sounded a lot like her grandpa’s.