How to Bake a New Beginning

by Lucy Knott

  Louisa straightened up, patting Luca on his arm, thanking him for catching her, then she bent slightly to look Matilde in the eye and offered her a smile. The girl’s eyes were crystal blue like Luca’s and she had the prettiest face. ‘Hi, Matilde, I’m Louisa. Thank you for my hug,’ she whispered, then raised her eyes to meet the woman’s. ‘Hi, I’m Louisa and please it’s no problem at all – she’s a sweetheart,’ Louisa said, shaking her head to signal it was nothing. Hugs were more than welcome.

  The lady balanced Matilde on one hip and reached out a French-manicured hand. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Louisa. I’m Giulia, mum of Matilde and sister of Luca,’ she said, nodding in Luca’s direction before turning to a man sat by the fire smiling up at them. ‘And this is our papa,’ she added pointing at the man, who promptly stood up and embraced Louisa in a hug. He patted her on the back as he squeezed her.

  ‘Ciao, bella, welcome to our home. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandpa – please if there’s anything you need, our home is your home. You and your family are always welcome. Oh Luca, she’s more beautiful than you described,’ he gushed, turning to look at Luca. Louisa had a feeling Luca got his sensitive side from his dad. She also felt bad for having not been more aware of her surroundings when she walked into the living room and introducing herself first, but the tree had totally absorbed all her attention.

  Smiling at everyone, she took a seat on the cloud-like sofa by the tree as Rose wandered back into the room with a tray of the cutest assortment of Italian Christmas cookies and a jug of hot chocolate.

  ‘Thank you all so much for your kind words and hospitality. Your house is magical,’ Louisa noted, waving her hands around the room and then settling them on Luca’s knee. Her initial nerves had evaporated and she felt at home. At that moment Matilde got up, picked up a snowflake-shaped cookie and plonked herself on Louisa’s knee.

  ‘Matilde, you must offer Miss Louisa a cookie,’ Giulia said, gesturing towards Louisa. Matilde shuffled on Louisa’s knees until she was sat facing her, holding up her own cookie and offering Louisa a bite.

  ‘Thank you, sweetheart, but that’s OK. That’s your cookie, you eat it,’ she said. Matilde smiled up at her with her ocean-blue eyes and happily took a big bite. Luca laughed and picked up the tray of cookies and placed it in front of Louisa. She chose a chocolate reindeer and relaxed, leaning back into the sofa. The chocolate melted in her mouth. She chatted with Luca’s family and watched Luca play a game of tickle monster with little Matilde. He seemed too good to be true.

  ‘So, what do you do?’ Giulia asked, her Italian rolling off her tongue in the most musical and eloquent way. Louisa envied her accent and hoped with more practice now that she was here in Italy itself that she too might sound as beautiful as Giulia one day. She swallowed another scrumptious bite of a cinnamon Santa cookie, which she told herself would be her last one – she didn’t want to spoil lunch in an hour’s time – before speaking.

  ‘I hope to be a fashion designer one day. There’s been a few bumps in the road so far, but Italy has inspired me all over again.’ Louisa watched as Giulia clapped her hands together with a delighted expression, her stunning highlights glowing from under the trees lights. This woman could be a movie star. Everyone in Luca’s family was gorgeous.

  ‘Mamma mia, perfetto, oh perfetto, Louisa,’ Giulia said with a squeal that still sounded more petite hummingbird than Louisa’s squeals of excitement that often resembled high-pitched dog whisperer. ‘I have my own boutique in Amalfi. I have loved fashion since I was a bambina, no, Papa?’ she gushed with such passion her whole face was now aglow.

  ‘Si, amore. Giulia had the best-dressed teddy bears in all of town,’ her papa said with a small grin, though his face was clearly beaming with pride. Louisa couldn’t quite believe her ears. She looked from this model of a woman who oozed grace, and possibly had Louisa’s dream job, to Luca, who was sat with a smile on his face so big Louisa knew he was up to something. His blue eyes were dancing with flecks of tiny fairy lights. He turned from Louisa back to his sister, with a look encouraging her to speak on.

  ‘Oh, Louisa, you must help me, no?’ Giulia said, as Matilde settled comfortably on her lap, clearly in need of a nap now after easily eating six biscuits. Louisa’s brows drew together. She felt confused.

  ‘Scusi, ma, I’d love to help but help with what?’ she asked, again looking to Luca for some information. He simply sat with that handsome smile plastered on his ridiculously gorgeous face.

  Giulia squeezed Matilde tight while at the same time kneeling up onto her heels to get closer to Louisa. Rose and their papa were nestled in their chairs, drinking hot chocolate and watching their children with utter adoration. ‘Well, you see. I have been given this opportunity to do a small catwalk at next year’s Milano fashion week and I have been on the lookout for a helping hand. And you are like an angel sent from heaven. Your fashion is bellissima – you have a good eye,’ Giulia said.

  Louisa looked down at her black tights and oversized silk deep purple tee and blushed. Did she really have a good eye for fashion? She had always hoped so, but it was very unique to herself. Was it Milano fashion week standard though?

  Giulia continued, ‘And you draw. I would like to hire you,’ Giulia finished getting straight to the point, her hands now in praying position.

  Louisa’s mouth felt dry. She looked to Luca. His face was warm and encouraging. ‘You can think about it, amore, if it’s too much right now. There is no rush,’ he noted, taking her hands in his. At that moment she had to admit the feeling of being overwhelmed was strong, but in a good way. She believed with all her might her grandpa was watching her, looking out for her at every turn, but now here with Luca and his family and how at home she felt, she knew – she really, truly knew it to be true. This was a sign and one that she was grateful for. She stood from her place on the sofa and took a seat cross-legged on the floor next to Giulia and Matilde.

  ‘When do I start?’ she asked. This was an uncharacte‌ristically bold move for Louisa as she knew how she had reacted when Sabrina said she was moving to LA. She hadn’t been all that supportive or kind about her sister’s decision. Yet now with the magic of Christmas in the air and a gold thread that led the way to her dreams, she felt it was right, that she couldn’t possibly miss this opportunity – even if it meant taking a huge leap of faith and leaving the comfort of home.

  She had apologized to Sabrina for the way she had behaved all those years ago and more recently too. She had trodden on her sister’s dreams and had often given her a hard time when she should have been applauding her for doing something so terrifying and moving halfway across the world to pursue her passion. She felt she had been forgiven.

  As the bubbles of excitement danced in Louisa’s stomach she realized that it was perfectly fine to chase your dreams even when the prospect of change was frightening. Look at all the wonderful things Amanda and Sabrina had achieved, and they still made time for their family. Be it via visits, phone calls or Skype, they had been there, always, she thought.

  ***

  ‘It smells like heaven,’ Amanda said, breathing in the aroma of the pandoro cake she was cutting. ‘Can I just stuff my head inside the box, Zia? This smell is addictive,’ she added, lifting the box closer to her nose and inhaling its sweet scent.

  ‘Italians make the best desserts,’ Zia Sofia replied with a casual shrug as she smiled lovingly at Amanda.

  They had just devoured Christmas lunch and everyone was sitting in the living room watching the Italian Christmas mass while Amanda and Zia Sofia were preparing the cakes and espressos. The kitchen felt even cosier today. The often chilly room was warm and snug after the morning’s festive breakfast extravaganza and recent Christmas feast preparations. The oven was finally getting a little break. No doubt it would be on again later this evening to heat up the leftovers.

  Everywhere you looked there were pandoro boxes, golden trays with that white packaging with Pasticceria Pansa emblazo
ned all over it piled up, plates wrapped in foil, underneath bearing the best food in the world from pizzaiola, trout with mint, mashed potato, roast potatoes, stuffed peppers and risotto. Amanda was full, but her mouth already watered at the thought of a midnight feast.

  ‘I think if I was to eat just one thing for the rest of my days it would be your starters, Zia Sofia. You make it to perfection.’ Amanda was referring to the fresh plate of homemade mozzarella, prosciutto, homegrown tomatoes, artichoke hearts, salami and a boiled egg, mixed with a light drizzle of homemade olive oil. It sounded simple but the flavours and tastes that came from these pure and rich ingredients were better than anything she had ever tasted.

  ‘But then I would happily eat buckets full of your fiori di zucca every day for the rest of my life if I could. Grandpa loved making those,’ she continued. Her heart stung thinking about Grandpa. He would have loved today, being in Italy with the family. They hadn’t experienced a Christmas in Italy in a long time. Amanda wished she’d thought about it sooner. She blinked back tears and got back to talking about the one thing she and Grandpa could talk about for hours on end: food. ‘Everything was amazing, Zia. Your food inspires me.’

  ‘You are special, my girl. Your passion will take you far,’ Zia Sofia said. She kissed Amanda’s cheek and plated the Mandorla Torte.

  ‘Can I help with anything?’ Dan asked, walking into the room and over to Zia Sofia. ‘The food was out of this world, Sofia – thank you for having me,’ he added, putting an arm around her shoulders and giving her half a hug.

  ‘Ahh, grazie, grazie, you are a gentleman,’ Zia Sofia cried, waving her arms at Dan and reaching up to grab his cheeks. ‘You found a nice man, Amanda.’

  ‘As far as best friends go, yeah, he’s not bad,’ Amanda said, laughing. She would find the right time to tell Dan how she felt, but right now she just wanted to enjoy Christmas Day. Having him here in Italy with her was the best present she had received and the fact that he had made the journey to be with her at a time when she had most needed it had meant everything to her. She was not about to ruin things or seem greedy. She had Dan by her side and it felt right.

  ‘You’re not too bad yourself,’ Dan replied, flashing his gorgeous smile her way. As he took the tray from Zia Sofia, he leant towards Amanda. ‘Are we OK?’ he whispered.

  ‘Yes, we’re fine, Dan. I’m sorry, just forget everything I said please. I was tired and a lot had been going on,’ Amanda replied, opening up a box of biscotti and adding them to her tray, not quite able to look him in the eye when their noses were almost touching.

  ‘I’m sorry too. Can we talk about all this later?’ he asked. He had eyelashes that would make mascara jealous, Amanda had always thought. They flickered when his eyes grew worried.

  ‘Sure,’ Amanda answered. A shiver shot down her spine and a flush rose in her cheeks at the proximity of Dan’s lips.

  ‘OK, good,’ Dan said and then turned back to helping Zia Sofia carry the trays to the living room. Amanda gave them a little head-start, allowing her heart rate to go back to normal. Once she composed herself, she followed them back into the living room.

  ‘Cake and coffee for everyone,’ she said, passing out bowls of the most scrumptious pandoro made with Nanna’s Italian custard. It was a Christmas tradition and one of her favourites. She could eat the entire cake if her sisters let her.

  ‘Who wants to open presents?’ Mum asked, kneeling down by the Christmas tree.

  ‘Lou, I hope you got your sisters one of those onesies. It’s quite spectacular,’ Dad said to Lou, who was now back in her Olaf onesie after visiting Luca’s family this morning. There was nothing like stepping in through your front door and immediately putting your PJs on.

  Amanda watched their interaction. Dad was sat in the armchair near the tree, cradling a beer and, worryingly, Amanda noticed he actually seemed serious about the onesies. There wasn’t a sarcastic smirk to be seen on his face. Louisa touched the tip of her nose and then pointed to Dad with a wink.

  ‘I think that would look awesome on you, Bri,’ Levi said playfully. Sabrina was curled up next to him on the rug. She looked happy, and Levi – Amanda was pleased to see – looked totally besotted. He looked at Sabrina in a way she had never seen him look at anyone in the three years she had known him.

  She sat herself down next to Dan and tucked her feet underneath herself on the sofa. Once she was nice and comfy she dug into her pandoro and watched as Mum passed out presents. Mum looked radiant. Her peachy glow was back and the dark circles under her eyes were slowly disappearing. Amanda had thought she couldn’t possibly love her mum any more than she already did, but seeing her strength shine over the past few weeks, how she put everyone’s feelings and needs first, when she had just experienced the most devastating loss, well, Amanda had a new respect and admiration for her.

  In that moment she vowed to look after her mum and dad the way they had, and continued to, look after their own parents. She didn’t want to lie to her mum and leave her in the dark about work and what was going on with Jeff at the restaurant; furthermore, she was done putting up with Jeff and feeling sorry for herself when she was the one allowing him to treat her with such disrespect. She knew what she had to do and no doubt when she got home she wouldn’t have a choice. By the sounds of Anthony’s voicemails, her reputation was close to being in tatters thanks to Jeff’s antics since she’d been gone.

  She closed her eyes and with her last bite of the fluffy, buttery pandoro cake, she allowed her taste buds to take over her thoughts and her worries to melt away.

  ‘You know, that food was better than any restaurant I’ve ever been to, Amanda,’ Dan said quietly, leaning in to her. ‘Out of all the places I’ve been in San Francisco, the dishes we just ate, there’s no comparison. It was exceptional.’ Amanda slowly opened her eyes to see Dan wink at her. She felt comforted by his words, her heart elated that Dan had loved the food that she and her family had made for him. Dan had tried her food before on many occasions, but with the produce here and the love of her aunties guiding her, the food became exquisite. It took on colours, flavours and aromas of its own.

  ‘I’m glad you liked it, I really am. I’m so happy you’re here,’ she said, leaning in to hug him. The pandoro had settled the fuzziness in her stomach and she felt calm. No doubt the Marsala that Nanna had drenched the cake in had something to do with that. Releasing Dan from her hug she got a whiff of one of her favourite scents. He smelt of a mix of mint, green apple and lemon zest and whenever she smelt it, it wrapped her up in a comforting blanket. She could live with being best friends with Dan, she thought. He had been a pretty awesome best friend so far. As he stroked her hair, she considered herself extremely fortunate.

  ‘You do know that the restaurant we have been talking about for the past few years can be a reality, don’t you? You have all the tools,’ he said, his voice calm and encouraging and forever all knowing. He knew that she knew. She was confident in her work and loved the idea of working for herself, designing her own menus, getting to know her customers more, but there was always that shred of doubt that seeped in every time she thought about it. What happened if no one came? What happened if she put her all into it and failed? She hated to admit it, but she was scared.

  ‘I know, Dan,’ she replied, patting his arm. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Amanda, open yours,’ Louisa practically yelled from across the room, where she and Luca sat by Mum near the tree. Louisa was still a big kid when it came to Christmas. She adored giving everyone gifts and she wasn’t opposed to receiving them either. ‘That’s from Brina,’ she added, kneeling up and crawling on her knees to pass the parcel to Amanda. Luca watched her, a loving awe in his eyes.

  ‘OK, OK, oooh what is it?’ Amanda asked taking the elegant gold box from Louisa. Amanda began unwrapping it carefully. Beneath the gold wrapping was a white box and inside the pristine white box lay the most stunning piece of jewellery Amanda had ever seen. ‘Oh, Brina, it’s so enchanting. I love it,�
�� she said, not taking her eyes off the little diamond that sparkled, almost bewitching her as she looked at it. She held up the delicate white gold pendant and choked out a laugh. She got up and walked over to her sister, wrapping her arms around her tightly. ‘I’ll never take it off,’ she whispered in Sabrina’s ear.

  ‘I’m glad you like it,’ Sabrina said, her eyes a little watery.

  ‘What did you get? Mine’s a star,’ Louisa said, holding up a necklace just as striking.

  ‘Mine’s a lemon,’ Amanda replied, as she walked back to the couch to show Dan. ‘I love it so much.’ She sat back down, holding the precious piece in her palm. Dan gently took it from her and carefully opened the clasp. Amanda automatically turned her back to him and lifted up her wavy hair to move it out the way. Dan placed the delicate pendant around her neck, the cold white gold lemon making her shiver as it touched her skin.

  ‘Now you know I’m always thinking about you even when I’m so far away. I hope you understand my meanings behind them and I hope you know how much I love you both,’ Sabrina said as Levi wrapped his arms around her.

  Amanda looked over and saw Nanna had tears in her eyes, as did her aunties. They were a very emotional family. Of course, she knew what her sister had meant by the designs. She was always cooking with lemons, their favourite adventures growing up would involve hunting for the biggest, juiciest lemons outside in the garden, followed by an afternoon spent making the most fabulous lemon desserts with Grandpa and Nanna. ‘Thank you, Sabrina, of course,’ she sighed and looked over at her sister who was now helping Louisa put her necklace on.

  Amanda heard Sabrina whisper, ‘Louisa, you aim for the moon, even if you miss you will land amongst the stars. Capisci?’ Louisa too teared up and squeezed Sabrina tight. Before Amanda could get too emotional she felt Dan’s hand squeeze her knee as he gave her a comforting kiss on the top of her head.