Bound (Bound Duet Book 1)

by Stephie Walls

  Her eyes were filled with tears, and I could tell she struggled not to let them fall. I reached out and squeezed her hand. “Love yourself enough to move on if that’s what you need, Erin.”

  She nodded.

  “Come on, I’ll walk you back. I need to find Scarlett.”

  We found Gray propped up on a bar stool next to Scarlett. She nudged Gray’s arm and cocked her head toward us. He turned around to see Erin silently crying, but he didn’t go to her; he came to me. If he were anyone else, I’d tell him what a royal asshole he was to that girl, but it was Gray, and I didn’t want him being good to anyone but me. I had no right to feel smug, but I did and it wasn’t an endearing trait. He pulled me to him with one arm and tucked my head against him with his other hand.

  He leaned down, pressed his lips against my ear so I could hear him above the music, and said, “Let me deal with her. Then I want you on the dance floor with me.” The way his voice resonated in my ear and vibrated on my skin made me numb to the world around me. Anytime he was near, I was oblivious to anything else—he was worse than any drug I’d ever done. My eyes closed. The heat of his breath combined with the sensation of the ecstasy and swirled together with the sounds of the music. The ultimate high.

  When he stood back, I opened my eyes to his, acknowledging his demand in a blink. He led her away and returned ten minutes later—alone. I didn’t know where she went, and I didn’t ask. Scarlett scowled at me when I allowed him to lead me to the dance floor. She hated that I continued to let him dominate my life, but she knew I loved him, so she said very little—she didn’t have to, the glare on her face told me all I needed to know.

  On the dance floor, I relived the dance we’d shared at Magnolia’s the night we officially met. My back was pressed to his front, his hands firmly placed on my hips. Our bodies moved together like we were making love fully clothed. Every brush of his hand, the caress of his lips on my neck, the feel of his arms wrapping tightly around me, they were all magnified a thousand times by the drugs that coursed through me. His body was a comforting blanket on a cold winter night, a cocoon I never wanted to leave.

  I was lost in the music, his touch, and the surrounding people. He spun me to face him, ground his pelvis into me, and heat pooled between my legs. One hand on the small of my back, one on the back of my neck, tangled in my hair. His face met mine. Lips locked, his tongue swept between us, and I allowed him entrance. I was undone by his intoxicating kiss. Panting, he broke the spell, jerked his head toward the door, and inaudibly told me it was time to go.

  “I need to find Scarlett to tell her we’re leaving.” I was practically screaming at him over the music.

  “No need; I told her I’d take you home.”

  “That was awfully presumptuous, Mr. Dearsley.”

  “I’m a pretty convincing man when I want to be, Ms. Teasman.”

  Damn, that wink melted my heart.

  He never lost contact with me as we pushed through the crowd of people. Some guy tried to stop me, not seeing my hand attached to Gray’s through the swarm of people. I stopped for a second, causing Gray to turn around to see what I was looking at. A random blond guy put his hand on my hip and asked me to dance before Gray responded.

  “I don’t think so. She’s taken.” With that, we exited the club and went to my apartment.

  I didn’t mention Erin, even though I was curious what he’d said to her before she’d left. I felt petty thinking I’d won some battle against a sweet girl like her, but I had still staked my claim on Gray like he had me. Whether either of us admitted that out loud was immaterial. Nothing would work outside of our relationship because neither of us would ever let it. No one could tolerate our relationship, and we weren’t willing to relinquish it.

  The moment we made it in the door, we were all over each other. I was in desperate need of intimate contact with him, and he obviously felt the same—it was evident through his jeans.

  Frantically, we pulled each other’s clothes off as we backed toward my bedroom, our shirts found the floor and then my bra was off. The backs of my knees hit the edge of the bed, and Gray pushed me down, my knees still hanging off the side. Unbuttoning my jeans, he pulled them off, leaving my panties in place. In no time, his jeans were at his ankles, but he made no effort to remove them. The sight of him in front of me made my mouth water. Impatiently, I reached out to grab him, but he stopped me. He pulled my panties aside, not bothering to take them off, and took me. It should’ve felt cheap and tawdry, but it was just plain hot. The hedonistic exchange intensified, the drugs made every sensation that much greater—it was animalistic, the need for him to consume me physically.

  He was sweaty, and his skin glowed. The way his chest looked as he exerted energy, the muscles contracted and then released. I knew every inch of his skin, his body…the way he moved. It was all familiar—like coming home. An amatory look passed between us when my eyes found his.

  His hands glided across my body, caressed my rib cage, and teased my nipples before he grabbed my hips. A rolling sensation embraced every nerve ending under every bit of skin he touched. The warmth of his tongue traced a line from my ear to my collarbone and sent me over the edge. I was screaming, incoherently, lost in the sensation.

  “What’d you think, Bird Dog?” he asked me.

  I repeated what I’d said to him the first time I told him I loved him, not sure if he would pick up on it or not. “I love you.”

  He let out a rolling laugh. “I love you too, baby, but that’s not what I was asking.”

  “I know what you were asking, and if I didn’t love you before that experience, I definitely do now.” I winked at him and kissed him tenderly on the mouth. My eyes closed and then he pulled me to him. The security of his arms, the exhaustion from the evening, and being utterly sated, I drifted to sleep with ease in his embrace.

  In the morning, the warmth I’d felt the night before was gone, and so was Gray. I had no idea what I had been thinking, or why I had allowed last night to happen. Same song and dance every time. He tangled me in his web. I allowed him to do it. We had sex, and he disappeared before dawn. I wouldn’t hear from him for several days—his way of ensuring I knew we weren’t back together. Although, I wasn’t stupid enough to think just because we’d had mind-blowing sex that would mean we were. Mentally, I kicked myself and rolled out of bed. I reeked of sex and smoke and desperately needed a shower.

  I felt almost human again after getting dressed. My phone rang, but I couldn’t find the damn thing. I realized it was in the pocket of the jeans I had been wearing last night. When I grabbed it, I saw Scarlett’s name on the screen.

  Answering, I said, “Hey, chick. What’s up?”

  “Hey, Annie, I wanted to make sure you weren’t mental after leaving with Gray last night.”

  “Nah, I know what to expect at this point. Since I expect nothing, I’m never disappointed.” I laughed, hearing the strain of hidden pain in my voice.

  “I wanted to ask you about something.”

  “Okay, go for it.” I was surprised by the ease in which she’d let last night go.

  “You mentioned your lease is up at the end of November, right? Have you thought any more about whether you’re going to renew?”

  “I don’t guess I have much of choice. Why do you ask?”

  “Why don’t you move in with me? I could use a roomie. I hate you being alone, and we could both save money this way. It would be fun. What do you think?”

  “Really? That would be awesome, Scarlett! If you’re serious, I’d love to!”

  “Absolutely, I’m serious. I figured we could move your stuff this weekend. You can pay rent on the first so you aren’t paying double, and it gives you time to move your things as you have time.” Excitement radiated through her voice.

  Moving in with Scarlett was a breath of fresh air. I hadn’t realized how lonely I was without Gray around, nor how much easier it was to move on when my mind was occupied by other things. With Gray no longe
r in the picture, I had picked up my workload at Walton’s again and taken on more than I should have, but it gave me a sense of purpose and held the darkness at bay. I was good at what I did, not to mention, I could make serious cash on larger projects, which Jack loved to send me in to score for the company. I wasn’t just landing the jobs but had taken on an active role in the work itself. I still sent in implementation teams, but I was no longer a face that made appearances. I was working side by side with my teams from a management perspective, but still involved in the day-to-day grind, and it showed in the success of the projects.

  This was also my final semester in school—I just had to make it through May. It had taken me longer than the typical four years not being able to go full time, but I was almost at the end. It was hard to believe I’d graduate in a few short months, assuming my senior seminar didn’t kill me in the process. I had no idea what I would do with a degree in business since I had zero desire to go to graduate school, but as my parents had pointed out a minimum of a hundred times—it didn’t matter what my degree was in, only that I had one.

  Scarlett and I hung out nightly throughout the week, and typically all weekend as well. She worked two jobs, making her schedule equally as hectic as my own. Next to always having company that didn’t require me to look my best or attempt to impress, the best thing about living with Scarlett was by far her cooking. She was amazing—good old Southern food, which had caused me to put on a few pounds. I was absolutely in love with her green bean casserole. It didn’t sound like a fancy dish, but the love Scarlett put into those beans made it extraordinary. If I wasn’t careful, I’d end up gaining fifty pounds.

  After I had moved in, Scarlett and I spent more time than I cared to admit discussing my relationship with Gray. I needed to get it out, and she offered to act as my sounding board. She tolerated my venting but told me in no uncertain terms that she didn’t want Gray at our house. While she never violated her brother’s confidence, she had revealed enough for me to know she thought I was putting my health at risk by continuing to sleep with him. I took her advice to heart out of respect. After all, this was her place. I was just renting space, and I knew she had warned me for my own good.

  I hadn’t seen Gray or talked to him in countless weeks that had turned into months. There had been no text messages, no phone calls, no coincidental encounters around town, nothing. As spring rolled into summer, the silence continued. My only remaining connection to him was Topher, who was at our house more than he was at his own. He and Scarlett were really close with only a couple years’ difference in their ages. The more time I spent with Topher, the more I realized what a great guy he was, not that I hadn’t known it before, but Gray intentionally kept the two of us surface level. He wanted me to like him, to be close enough to him that Topher liked me for Gray, but never close enough to have an intimate conversation with him or to have confided in him.

  The few times I went to Gray’s house after he moved back in with Topher, he never left me alone with his best friend for longer than a few minutes. If I had spent the night, he insisted I left in the morning when he went to work, so Topher and I weren’t alone in the house together. I had never comprehended what he thought could have happened. They were best friends, yet as time wore on with no sign of Gray, and I got to know Topher, I could see why Gray might have been concerned.

  The two men couldn’t have been more different, which was probably why they were so close. I hadn’t known that Topher’s fiancée, Heather, had been pregnant when he moved her in a couple of years ago. I had recently found out that they were on the verge of breaking up when Heather made the announcement. Topher believed it was his responsibility to work things out with her and take care of her and the baby.

  After several months, Heather hadn’t gotten any bigger. When there were no doctor’s appointments, Topher insisted she take a test with him watching. Not only was she not pregnant, but she’d had a friend take a pregnancy test for her to show Topher months earlier. That kind of betrayal should’ve made him detest women, but it had done the exact opposite. That was his problem with my relationship with Gray—he saw how much I loved him, unconditionally. When Gray started hesitating, Topher told him to leave me. I was stunned and quite possibly angrier than I should’ve been. But as Topher continued his explanation, he believed I deserved better than someone who only loved me halfway. He told Gray he needed to let me go and allow me to find someone who would love me wholly—the way I loved him. For a split second, I wanted to pop Topher in the mouth, but my heart softened at the notion he’d fought for me, wanted better for me.

  Topher and I sat on the couch in the living room—I was completely blitzed, and he was piss drunk—and had this conversation. My cheek rested on the back of the sofa, and I stared at him while he talked.

  “Annie, I know you’re hurting. I know you miss him, but you deserve more. You deserve the love you give. He’s not good enough for you.” The way he said the words, the look on his face, altered the vibe between us. He leaned in toward me, hesitated, and then touched my lips with his.

  His lips were fuller than Gray’s. There was no electric shock, but it was nice—soft. He sat back a little and put a few inches of space between our faces. Moving a strand of hair from my face, he confessed, “I see why he loves you. You’re beautiful. You’re sweet…loyal. Gah, Annie, why Gray? Of all people why the hell do you want to be with Gray? I don’t get it. You could have anyone you want. You run in a different circle than we do. You’re smart. You’ve got goals and a great job. Why him?” He was incredulous. He’d never understand the relationship, but hell, I doubted I would either.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, Topher. I think he’s my soul mate, but our timing is just off. Our timing may never be right. I truly believe you can love someone and that not be enough that soul mates end up living separate lives simply because their timing always goes against nature—that may be us. I’m doing okay, though. I’m moving on.”

  “Are you really? When was the last time you went on a date? Don’t lie. Remember you live with my sister.”

  “Well, I guess I haven’t been on a date since before I met Gray, but I’m doing things again. Work is going well, and school’s almost over.”

  “Stop with the checklist. You spend all your free time with Scarlett, who’s great, but she’s not going to keep you warm at night, and if she is, then you have bigger issues than Gray. The two of you are walking posters for the ‘Just Say No’ campaign. I mean really, is there a night you guys don’t get high?”

  I laughed because I knew he was right, but I pictured Scarlett and myself being motivational speakers against drugs. The posters would showcase us with our eyes bloodshot and joints hanging out of our mouths. It really wasn’t funny, but since I was high now, I couldn’t stop giggling. “Look, Topher, Scarlett and I are having fun. I don’t want a relationship right now. I need to finish school and worry about the rest later.”

  “Don’t you miss talking to someone of the opposite sex? Being touched?” Concern marred his features, and I realized he was serious.

  Without knowing how to respond to him, I tried the truth. “Of course I do, but, I don’t get into relationships easily, and I don’t sleep with people I don’t know. Gray was the second person I’ve ever been with.”

  “You know he’s seeing other people, don’t you?” His honesty hurt because it was just that—the truth.

  “I know. I’m aware of Erin, Melissa, Ashley, Abby, and Casey. If there’s more, I don’t need to know. Those five cut deep enough.” This conversation had started to bring me down, but I didn’t know how to divert it.

  He put his forehead against mine and kissed my nose. It reminded me of Gray, but a gentler version of him. I made the decision at that moment to let Topher lead this wherever it went tonight. I wasn’t in a relationship. I hadn’t talked to Gray in months. I did want to be touched, reminded I was alive, even if it was only for a one night. Topher seemingly read my thoughts. He took the back o
f my head in his hand, and his lips met mine again. This time it was a deeper, more personal kiss. It was a little sloppy, but he was drunk. One kiss turned to two, and when Scarlett threw the front door open, we were making out like teenagers, hot and heavy.

  “What the fuck are you two doing? You’re seriously making out with my brother, Annie? Gross. I put a disclaimer on Gray. I didn’t know I had to issue one for Topher, too.”

  Initially, I thought she was mad, but her lips turned up in a smile, and I saw the humor in her eyes. Topher hadn’t dated since he and Heather split, and she thought I needed to do whatever it took to move past Gray. I could honestly say fucking his best friend would have forever severed that tie. Scarlett plopped her ass down on the couch between us—more accurately, on top of both of us since we had been sitting close enough together to be lip locked.

  “Geez, Scarlett, let me move over, or you can sit in Topher’s lap, and we can make this a threesome.”

  “Eww, Annie. I do not want to think about you with my brother in any intimate act, much less one that involves me.” She swatted me with a pillow from the couch before Topher dumped her on the floor. Laughing, she picked up the bong off the coffee table and proceeded to get stoned with me, while Topher grabbed another beer from the fridge.

  Around midnight, Scarlett announced her departure to her bedroom in the most melodramatic way. I was lying on the floor as she stepped over me and looked back at Topher, who was leaning up against a chair. “Don’t drive home, Topher. You can sleep on the couch”—she shifted her attention to me—“or wherever.”

  My mouth fell open in shock at her suggestion. Expecting to see the same expression on Topher’s face, I was surprised to find a drunken grin. He had a goofy smile, not the confident one I was used to seeing grace Gray’s lips. We both stayed still and watched her retreat before Topher broke the silence.