Bound (Bound Duet Book 1)

by Stephie Walls

  I swear, sometimes I felt like Satan himself chased me, looking for ways to make my life a living hell. Sure as shit, tonight he succeeded in a big way. I about busted my ass coming in the front door of the restaurant, only to have about a hundred people watch my humiliation before echoing their pity for my embarrassment. I mean really, sometimes people should shut up and act like they saw nothing. The moment we sat down, our waitress came to our table to take our drink orders. When I looked up, I saw one of Gray’s chippies. I thought it was one of the Erin’s, but hell, I didn’t really remember, although she sure remembered me. She sat down in the booth next to me, making me scoot over to allow room for her tail, and I glanced at my friends. I scrunched my eyebrows and silently wondered if this was for real. Jenny and Lynn stared at her wild-eyed and gave me a slight shrug.

  The girl, whatever her name was, chatted like we were best friends. “It’s so good to see you again, Annie. How’s Gray? I haven’t heard from him in ages, but I knew when you guys got back together he was off the market. I mean, there was no doubt how he felt about you, even when he was supposed to be with me. He talked about you all the time. You guys must be super close.” She kept talking, but I tuned out after that. Slowly, I faced my friends, giving them the what the hell look before Jenny saved my ass.

  She looked at the name tag on the girl’s boob. “Look, ah…Erin. I’m sure you and Annie have scads to catch up on, but tonight is really only about eating and heavy drinking. Can we order?” Sarcasm dripped from her lips, but poor Erin was too dense to catch it.

  “Oh, yeah, of course. What can I get you guys?”

  We rattled off our order, starting off with shots, followed by food, then more shots. After the first two rounds of Sambuca, my worst fear came waltzing in the door. Gray made eye contact with me instantly. Mental note, I needed to learn to sit with my back to the door. He never would’ve seen me if I had been sitting on the opposite side of the booth. Gray being Gray didn’t recognize—or didn’t care—about my mental anguish and zero lack of desire to be next to him when he plopped his gorgeous ass in the seat next to me.

  He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Hey, Bird Dog.” Then he greeted my friends, who now had that what the hell is he thinking look on their faces. I just sat in stunned silence. I kept chanting to myself, I got here first. I got here first. I didn’t even know what the hell that meant. Obviously, he didn’t think I had followed him here. With no response from any of the three of us, he picked at the celery in the center of the table, and then looked back at me.

  “How’ve you been?” Like we were casual friends who hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks.

  “Umm, I’m good. How about you?” Before he could answer, I saw his posse traipse in. He scooted out of the booth and told me he’d talk to me later, then headed to his friends.

  My shoulders slumped when I leaned back against the booth. “I swear, I’m destined for continued hell,” I mumbled, and shook my head.

  Lynn perked up. “Nah, but I think Gray’s going to be before the night is over.”

  “Why?”

  “Annie, Gray needs to know you aren’t pining for him. You’re gorgeous, you look hot tonight, you’ve had plenty of alcohol to calm the nerves, and we’re going to find you a sexy dance partner. If Gray happens to see you grinding with some other guy, it’s in your favor, right?” Lynn couldn’t stand what Gray had done to me, especially since she felt responsible for me meeting him to begin with.

  “Lynn, I’m no good at games with men. It’s not my style.”

  “You don’t have to play games. Just let a guy come ask you to dance. If he’s good looking, dance with him, make him want you. I’ll make sure Gray sees it.”

  I really had no intention of following through with this, but once we got upstairs and more alcohol ran down my throat, I found myself wrapped up in a really hot guy’s arms. He was vaguely familiar, but I didn’t ask his name mainly because that would have implied I cared. I was having a hard enough time staying on my feet as drunk as I was, and placing where I knew this guy from was out of the question. He assumed I knew who he was when I allowed him intimate contact, maybe it was a little over the top. My ass ground into his crotch, with one of his arms around my waist, the other stroked the length of my body. Feeling the music, the sensuality of it, letting it flow through my limbs into his, I caught a glimpse of Lynn and Jenny from the corner of my eye. They were arguing with Gray, but I couldn’t hear the disagreement over the music. My head found the mystery man’s shoulder, exposing my neck; he made a move to kiss the sensitive skin. I gave way to the lull of my head and provided him greater access and then saw Lynn lose her position in front of Gray. He was barreling toward me after throwing a beer bottle in the trashcan ten feet from him. He was pissed. I grinned at him and continued my seduction on the male fortress behind me, that was until Gray was within reach.

  His fingers curled around my bicep a little too forcefully for my liking causing my head to jerk up, and Mr. Hotness lost his hold on me.

  “What the hell, Gray?” I barked as he lurched me away from my dance partner.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Annie?”

  I wasn’t sure if he was as ticked off as he seemed to be or if the booze was clouding my judgment. “I’m dancing. What does it look like?” I retorted.

  “It looks like you’re having sex on the dance floor like a whore while a room full of people watch.” I stood stock-still, and my mouth fell open when my wet dream, Mr. Hotness came to my defense.

  “Gray, man, what’s your problem?” Mr. Hotness had a smooth, deep, sexy voice that made my body vibrate from a foot away. It dawned on me, like a load of bricks landing in my lap—he knew Gray.

  “Brett, that’s my fucking girlfriend you’re all over!” Gray couldn’t be more than two inches from Mr. Hotness’s face screaming, whom I now realized I recognized as one of the managers at the DC. One of the two guys I had initially proposed my bid to. Holy mother of God, Satan was laughing his ass off at me right now, doubled over, unable to control the tears flowing from his hysterical cackling at the shit storm that had become my life.

  Brett never lost his calm demeanor. “Actually, Gray, my understanding is you guys broke up months ago. Did I get the wrong memo?” Oh, hell, he snaked his arm back around my waist and pulled me to his side protectively. Gray was going to flip shit.

  “That’s not the point. She’s off the market to my friends.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing we aren’t friends then, isn’t it, Gray?”

  I imagined Gray punching the smirk off his face, but it didn’t come.

  Brett glanced down at me. “You want to get out of here?”

  As much as I didn’t want to do it, I knew it would hurt him, but I had to walk away from Gray. He had to see he didn’t own me, didn’t control me anymore, that he had given me up. He’d never know how much pain it caused me to look at Brett, and kiss him on the cheek.

  “Sure, let me tell my friends I’m leaving. I’ll meet you downstairs, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  I parted from him to tell Jenny and Lynn I was leaving with Brett when I heard him say to Gray, “You’re a total dumbass to have ever let her walk away.”

  I didn’t hear Gray’s response over the music and the distance I’d put between us, but I got to hear it a moment later when his hand was back on my bicep.

  Ripping my arm out of Gray’s grasp, I stared up at him, completely intoxicated, it took a lot more effort than normal, that eight-inch height difference played havoc when my equilibrium was off kilter. Those blue eyes rocked me to my core, but I stayed strong. “What’s with you?” I snarled at him but kept from stomping my foot like a child.

  “You can’t be serious about him?”

  “I’m not serious about anything other than having a good time tonight. If that’s with Brett or someone else, it really doesn’t concern you. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m leaving.”

  “Don’t do this, baby.�
�

  “Do what, Gray? Leave with some other guy? Last time I checked, you gave up the right to have any say in my life. If you didn’t want me to leave with another man, you shouldn’t have given one the opening.” I didn’t wait for a response. I walked away, waving over my shoulder to my friends, who couldn’t have been happier I was leaving with someone other than my ex.

  When I got home, thanks to Brett, who was a complete gentleman, I asked him to walk me to my door. He helped me up the stairs but refused to come inside.

  “Annie, I think you’re a great girl, and I would love to take you out some time if you want to go. Tonight, you needed to show him you could stand on your own; you’re not bound to him, and I get that, even if I was just a pawn.” He held my head in his hand, stroked my cheekbone with his thumb, and then lightly kissed my lips. The electric shock I got from Gray wasn’t there, but it definitely sent tingles to my girly spots. It had mad potential, that was all I could say.

  “Brett, I didn’t set out to pit you against Gray. Honestly, when I ran into you, I was so drunk, I knew I recognized you, but couldn’t place where from. If I had, I wouldn’t have put you in the position to face him.”

  “I didn’t figure you made the connection. You’re too sweet for that kind of thing, but I really would like to see you again.”

  I nodded my head in agreement, and he handed me his business card with his cell number on it, although I already had one…somewhere.

  I took his face in my hands and pulled his lips toward mine, confirming my desire to see him again. When I released his face, he stood back up. The smile on my face was so big it hurt. I stepped inside while I said, “Goodnight.” The grin remained long after I closed the door behind me. It felt good to be wanted by someone else, even if I didn’t know what his motivation was. I wanted to ride the high before it wore off; I pulled my phone from my pocket, typed in his number, and sent him a quick text:

  Me: Thanks for being my knight in shining armor

  Brett: No problem, sweetheart

  Me: Can I see you tomorrow?

  Brett: Absolutely

  That night started a slow progression toward a relationship. True to his word, I woke up the next morning to a voicemail from Brett asking me to call him. As I cleared the sleep from my eyes, my smile widened at the thought of seeing him. I glanced at the clock, realized it was almost eleven, and pressed send to return his call.

  That first night set the tone for all of our dates. They weren’t always so formal, thank God, or I would’ve had to replace my entire wardrobe and hire a hairstylist, but they were always filled with intellectually stimulating conversation and mutual respect. Books, current events, the opera, theater, foreign films, Brett never ceased to amaze me with his knowledge or love for the arts. I was fascinated by the things Brett had an interest in—things we shared in common. I was an avid reader, voracious by any account, and he rivaled my knowledge of literature; he’d seen just as many musicals and plays as I had and rattled off a list of his favorite soloists he’d seen at the symphony. He had a vast collection of foreign films and frequently attended the opera in Atlanta—neither of which I knew anything about. Time would slip away from us, and we’d find ourselves closing down restaurants or walking sidewalks long after everyone else had gone home for the evening.

  I continued to work with my therapist on my trust issues and my inability to identify healthy relationships, although I hadn’t told Brett much about any of it. He knew I went to counseling but never questioned my motivation or the necessity. Sometimes I wondered if I should give him an explanation, but my shrink assured me that when I no longer felt I owed it to him, it would flow freely and be received in the same manner. So, Brett and I took our time—we weren’t hot and heavy like Gray and I had been. The attraction was there, mutually, but he followed my lead without pressure. Each day he gave me free of expectation was another day that built the foundation for my self-esteem. Each week was a brick in the mortar toward becoming healthy enough to love someone the way I wanted.

  Gray had approached Brett at the distribution center some time back about our relationship. But Brett didn’t seem to care about Gray or his desire to show some odd display of ownership he no longer maintained. I no more belonged to Gray than Brett did. The only thing that concerned Brett was my happiness—he said he’d deal with Gray if needed, but I hadn’t heard anything else about it. He was the antithesis of my ex in every way, but most importantly, he wasn’t absorbed in his own contentment; mine always came first. He protected me ardently, both emotionally and physically. He never pried for information from me, but I found that I gave it to him freely.

  With each passing day, Brett and I got closer and when my self-imposed year of celibacy came and went, and then our one year anniversary passed, and we still hadn’t had sex, I wondered when he’d tip the scale and start making demands. But the day never came, he had positively indicated he was ready whenever I was but had never made an issue of it. He continued to ask me out, we continued to date, and life continued without pressure. I had seen Gray with a countless number of women, but tonight, when Brett and I were sitting at dinner, a cozy little Italian restaurant with private booths, soft candlelight, and fantastic food, he asked me if I had heard from him.

  “Heard from who?”

  The question came out of left field until Brett dipped his head toward the door. Gray walked in with a really short, buxom, blonde girl. She was cute with a little frame but not someone I had seen him with before.

  “No, why?”

  “No one’s told you?”

  “Told me what?” A heavy weight rested on my chest, making it difficult to get air, and I wondered just how soon someone was going to kick the life out of me. I waited for him to respond, but I could tell from his hesitation he had hoped someone else had imparted whatever knowledge was on the tip of his tongue. “Brett, what is it?”

  “Gray’s getting married.” His voice was uncertain and almost shook.

  “Really? That’s great. Who’s the girl?”

  “I can’t remember her name.” His face contorted into something resembling disbelief. “What…you’re not upset?” He seemed shocked.

  “You sound disappointed by my response. Brett, why would I care if Gray gets married? We broke up well over a year ago, and I’m happy where I am.” I squeezed his hand across the table; then leaned forward to plant a kiss on his luscious lips. I hoped he hadn’t heard the air escape my lungs or seen the sadness that crossed my eyes; I certainly didn’t want to communicate that to him because it was a fleeting and natural response.

  The truth was, I very much cared for Brett, not the same way I loved Gray, but in my opinion that was for the best. I was devoted. Brett was everything Gray would never be. Brett was security, Gray passion. I needed safety and stability; someone I was attracted to, but not necessarily someone I had to devour every time I saw him. Brett was my best friend. We talked about everything, and over the course of the last year, I’d divulged all my secrets going back to childhood. He knew me inside and out, warts and all, including those with Gray’s name all over them. He also knew Gray had been an all-consuming relationship but didn’t begrudge me having him. There was no denying I had once had intense feelings for Gray, but we were toxic together—nothing about us was healthy. And while I wanted to call it love, the truth was, I wasn’t ready to admit it wasn’t.

  Love wasn’t destructive and abusive—it was everything Brett was. He didn’t try to compete, which was good because he didn’t need to. There was no denying Brett felt the level of intensity toward me that I’d once felt toward Gray, only his was selfless. He made no mistake in showing me the kind of love I’d tried to show Gray, but I’d fallen short because of my own issues. I’d given Gray a damaged shell addicted to work and coping with drugs.

  Brett had told me he loved me, and I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was genuine, the kind to last an eternity, but I had yet to return the sentiment. It was evident in his eyes when he look
ed at me; the man would follow me through a raging fire doused in gasoline.

  “Not disappointed, surprised, though. Honestly, I’m pretty shocked by the whole thing. After the way he ended his last marriage, I never thought he’d jump back into one so casually.” He took a sip of his wine and leaned back to regard me.

  “Why?”

  “Why what? Why am I surprised about your response? Or why am I confused by his flippant attitude toward marriage?”

  “I guess both. You act like I should be affected by his decision. And it’s hardly fair to say that just because someone got divorced, they shouldn’t remarry.”

  “I just figured it would sting. And yes, I think any man who walks out on his wife for another woman should be more cautious about a second marriage.”

  “Hold up. I feel like there are two very important topics on the table here. And both of them are irritating. First of all, it really bothers me that people, especially you, seemed to believe I was going to sit around and wait on Gray Dearsley for the rest of my life. The only reason you could believe it would bother me is that you think it’s a slap in my face that he’s marrying a second woman, that he’s dated less time than he dated or lived with me, but I didn’t make the cut—”

  “Annie…” the softness in his tone told me he regretted where he’d taken this.

  I stood and went over to his side of the booth, sat next to him, took his hand in mine, and looked into his eyes. “Brett, Gray and I weren’t meant to be together. Yes, I loved him in some terribly distorted way. But, there was nothing good about us as a pair. My heart ached all the time, and I was plagued by self-doubt. I was in love with the idea of being needed by a broken man—first Will, then Gray. I recognize he can never be what I need. I don’t want to change him, and he doesn’t want to change. I accepted that a long time ago. I need you to accept it. You’re the person I want to be with.” Gray and I had no business being together. He was toxic for me then, and he’d be toxic for me now. I’d gotten off that ride and had no intention of getting back on.