What Desire Demands, My Duke: A Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel

by Olivia T. Bennet

  Soon enough, she spotted him sitting under a gazebo with their breakfast stretched out before him. He looked up at their approach, his green eyes unreadable. Elizabeth’s heart began to race and she tried not to lick her lips again, knowing it was a bad habit.

  Harold bowed and quietly slipped away. Elizabeth had no choice but to sit down, avoiding his gaze.

  “Good morning, Beth,” William drawled.

  “Good morning,” she murmured. She reached for her tea, not daring to look up at him even though she knew he was still watching her.

  “Did you sleep well?” William asked after a moment.

  She swallowed prematurely and the hot liquid burned her throat. Grimacing a bit, she managed to nod. “I slept well, thank you,” she said to him, though she was certain he could see her swollen eyes. They’d gone down considerably since she’d woken up but Elizabeth knew they wouldn’t escape his notice.

  Not wanting him to ask about it, she tried to divert the topic. “Why are we breaking fast out here?” she asked. “First it was the drawing room, then the dining room, and now the gardens?”

  William took a moment to respond. His silence stretched on for so long that Elizabeth couldn’t help but glance up at him. Butterflies filled her stomach when she saw that he was still staring at her. But afterwards, he broke eye contact and reached for a crumpet.

  “My late stepmother was quite the eccentric sort. She did not enjoy having a repetitive life and had fallen into the habit of starting her day in a different part of the manor each morning. It was what I liked most about her. So, I have adopted the practice in her memory.”

  “Your stepmother…” Elizabeth tried to suppress her surprise that he was actually telling her something. “She was the Duchess of Brandon, was she not?”

  He nodded. “She was. Following the passing of her father, the Dukedom should have reverted back to the crown, but the Prince Regent was quite fond of my stepmother. He agreed to have the title passed to my father and have me as the heir if there was no other child of the union.” He huffed a humorless laugh. “It was as if Fate did all that it could to ensure that I found myself in this position.”

  Elizabeth couldn’t decipher the tone of his voice. Now it was her time to study him, to see if there was something wrong which would explain why he was telling her all this so suddenly. “Her Grace must have been a lovely lady,” she murmured.

  “She was many things and lovely was certainly one of them. She did not deserve what she was given.”

  “What do you mean?”

  William polished off the crumpet and reached for another without hesitation. “Tell me the truth. How well did you sleep last night? It appears as if you might have cried.”

  Elizabeth flushed and averted her gaze. Talking about his stepmother had distracted her for a moment but now her shame was back with full force. She suddenly wished she’d given in and claimed she felt too ill to leave her bed, even though she knew he would detect the lie instantly.

  “It’s nothing,” she told him half-heartedly. “I can be a little emotional at times.”

  William finished his crumpet and reached for a piece of toast without taking his eyes off her. “Retur—”

  “Do not even dare.”

  He said nothing for a moment, as if taken by the venom in her voice. Elizabeth could hardly believe it herself. After a moment, he began again, “If you are afraid of what the ton might say when they’ve learned of where you’ve been, you need not worry. I have a plan—”

  Elizabeth looked sharply at him, her breath hitching in her throat. To her absolute horror, tears threatened to pinch her eyes again and she looked away as quickly as she could, distracting herself by smearing too much preserves onto her toast. “You know I cannot do that,” she mumbled.

  “I must admit, I faltered for a moment.” William paused, his tone utterly serious, and in her blurring peripherals she saw him shake his head. “No, not only for a moment. From the second I spotted you, I knew it would be difficult to push you away, even though I knew that I needed to. I suppose the fight I put up was quite lackluster, all things considered.”

  “William…” That was what frightened her the most. He didn’t sound angry, he didn’t sound frustrated. He sounded like a man who’d thought long and hard about his decision and now, nothing would sway his mind. Elizabeth grappled to find something that would stop him from saying the words she knew were to come.

  “But,” he went on, “that was my shortcoming. Now, I see that I was simply being selfish letting you stay here. I’d even had gowns prepared for you and for that, Elizabeth…I must apologize.”

  Elizabeth swallowed past the lump forming in her throat. She’d long since lost her appetite and so she set the knife and toast down, blinking her tears away before lifting her gaze to him. Fear seized her, threatened to turn her into a crying mess. But she didn’t dare to give in to it. Not after she’d cried her eyes out last night. Not after the kissed they’d shared.

  “William, what are you doing?”

  He met her gaze, his face unmoving. He didn’t stop eating. It was as if, while she could not bear to eat, he needed to in order to distract himself from his emotions. “I’m doing exactly what I should have done from the very beginning, Beth,” he told her. “I wish to share one more meal with you before we part ways once more. I hope it shall be a cordial one, even enjoyable one.”

  “You’ve already prevented that from happening from the very moment you suggested such a ludicrous idea.”

  “Beth, it is for—”

  “Don’t!” Frustrated beyond words, she let it take hold of her. That, she decided, was far better than crying. She was tired of crying in front of him, of being that weak maiden she hated. “Don’t tell me that it is for the best. Don’t you dare try to act all cowardly while pretending that you are being just and upright.”

  William’s dark brows raised slightly in surprise. But it was brief, easily replaced by another aloof expression. “I understand my actions might have resulted in you believing something will happen between us. But after last night—”

  “After last night, you decided that I was far too fragile to handle being in the same manor as you for any longer and thought to take matters into your own hands, did you? Tell me, William. Do you make it a habit of kissing young maidens and then tossing them to the side when you are finished?”

  His eyes narrowed slightly. “Don’t speak nonsense, Beth.”

  But she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Coupled with the slight hysteria, the bafflement, and the overwhelming frustration, she spurred on without considering his words for a moment.

  “Perhaps that is the reason you have decided to shut yourself away from society? Perhaps your disreputable actions with the hearts of London ladies has caught up to you and you thought to tuck yourself away in this secluded spot as if it would help you atone for your sins. Are you sending me away because you deem me a distraction that will lead you back down that path?”

  This time, his brows dipped into a deep scowl. “What in heaven’s name are you talking about, Elizabeth?”

  “You cannot kiss me and then act as if nothing happened!” she screeched. Elizabeth curled her hands in her lap, resisting the urge to grab the closest thing her hand could reach and chuck it at him. Her body trembled with the force of her anger choking her.

  “You cannot let me kiss you and then run away with tears in your eyes,” he countered, his voice a sharp hiss that cut straight through her anger.

  Elizabeth, realizing that her body was trembling with the force of her emotions, tried to get herself to relax. She sagged her shoulders, averting her gaze away from him and settling it on the lovely sunflowers that sat in the center of the table. She twisted her lips to the side, trying to battle the waves of emotions hitting her at once.

  He’s insufferable and cannot make up his mind! Has he always been the type to string ladies along like this? I cannot believe his audacity!

  “If you mention having
me return to my father’s home, whether you have a plan to preserve my reputation or not, I will not be happy, William,” she murmured after a moment, struggling to calm herself. She wouldn’t address the fact that she’d run away last night after he’d kissed her. She didn’t think she had the strength, even if she’d somehow gathered enough to shout at him. It would inevitably lead to more questions, ones she couldn’t answer.

  William let out a breath of frustration and the sound hurt her far more than any of his words.

  It is one thing to say that I should return home, but to sound so frustrated at the thought of remaining here pains me. I cannot believe he wants me to give up.

  But giving up was something Elizabeth was not used to. It was a part of herself she’d never let go, even though the girl she’d once known had been tucked away under layers of pain and insecurities.

  Elizabeth pulled her shoulders back and picked up her toast. Without saying another word, knowing very well that William was watching her every move, she bit into the toast. Silence stretched on for a while and, after a moment, he continued eating as well.

  Once Elizabeth was finished, she deemed herself full enough to continue on for the next couple hours. She couldn’t possibly eat another bite anyhow, not with the way her stomach churned. She stood and turned to face William, watching as a shadow of confusion and wariness flashed within his eyes.

  “Very well,” she said, hating how the words felt on her tongue. “If you wish for me to leave so badly then far be it from me to force the opposite. However—”

  William didn’t move, his green eyes unreadable. “However?” he probed.

  Elizabeth thinned her lips, hating how much it felt as if she was giving in. “You’ve promised to teach me how to overcome my fear of horses and I will not leave until that has happened.”

  “Beth, what are you trying to do?”

  “My plan was to find you again,” she told him honestly. “And I have done that. My plan after that was to bring you back to my side, after learning the reason you left in the first place. As much as it bothers me to say, it appears I will fail to do so. But I refuse to return home with nothing to show for all the time I’ve spent here.” On steady legs, she stepped out of the gazebo, back onto the flagstone path. “I shall head to the stables in short order. I hope you will have the decency to at least join me.”

  That last bit was meant to be a jab at him, but her voice trembled slightly at the end, so she tucked her chin and attempted her retreat. Her entire body was shaking, but whether that was in her anger or her sadness, she couldn’t be sure. In fact, Elizabeth couldn’t ascertain what exactly she was feeling.

  All she knew was that she was sick and tired of dealing with William’s inconsistent behavior. If he wanted her to leave, then so be it.

  Chapter 14

  William didn’t know what to say. He’d been thinking about it since Elizabeth had made her announcement, had been planning to say his piece before letting her walk away. But she’d struck him dumb and even now, though she’d left him alone for a few minutes already, he hadn’t a clue what to say or do.

  For the first time in years, he was beginning to waver.

  He ate more slowly this time, not even realizing that he was. He sipped at his cold tea and picked up any edible thing that was in sight, his mind still lingering on the fiery anger he’d seen flashing within her eyes. It had been…quite unusual to see, and it brought him back to a time he’d long since tried to put behind him.

  William simply didn’t know what to do. For seven years, he’d been apart from her, forcing himself to put that life behind and to never look back. Even when she’d arrived so suddenly, back into his life again, he hadn’t contemplated going back. He’d always kept in the back of his mind that her time here would be short. Even if he indulged her, even if the sight of her made his mouth go dry and his body tense with unquenchable thirst, William believed that he wouldn’t let it last for long.

  Now, he wasn’t so sure.

  But, despite the confusion swirling within him, he was certain about one thing. He wouldn’t ignore the challenge she’d thrown out at him.

  With a start, William realized that he’d devoured nearly everything on the table and that his stomach was already beginning to hurt as a result. It didn’t surprise him, especially considering that it certainly wasn’t the first time. Many times in the past, he would become so lost in thought and ended up carrying on with whatever task he was doing without thinking.

  Once, he and Elizabeth had met up with each other at the small park they liked to frequent, and he’d ended up throwing a large stone into the head of a swan simply because he’d been so caught up watching her teach herself how to chuck stones across the river. She’d been quite upset with him that day.

  Thinking back on the way she’d clenched her fist and raised her voice at him earlier, it appeared that lady did not completely disappear. William stood, stepping around the table, noting that she’d barely eaten a thing other than that single piece of toast. She was sure to be quite hungry right now. He would ensure that was remedied later.

  But for now, he had a lesson to teach.

  His steps were quick, his chest tightening with something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Something akin to excitement. But that couldn’t be. He had no reason to feel such soft emotions. He was no longer the soft-hearted boy of the past but a man with shadows haunting his every move. It felt…odd to feel like this, to have his heart tremble at the thought of seeing her again even though she’d only left his presence for no longer than ten minutes.

  But that didn’t stop him from hurrying towards the stables, hoping she would already be there. When he arrived, the stable hands stood at attention at the sight of him and William cocked his head to the side, a silent command for them to leave. He scanned the area, but Elizabeth was not there as yet.

  Had she only been pretending? Was she actually in her room, perhaps crying right this moment?

  The thought bothered him greatly and it took all his strength not to turn around and make his way to her bedchamber to check. He forced his legs forward, approaching the tame horse that she’d attempted to befriend yesterday. The horse lifted his head at William’s approach, as if asking to be petted.

  “You’ll have to be on your best behavior today, boy,” William murmured to him, stroking the length of the steed’s taut neck. “A rather timid lady will be attempting to ride you today. Or, well, I suppose she is not so timid as I first thought.”

  Footsteps sounded behind him. Eagerness spiking to heart racing levels, William looked over his shoulder, hoping to see that it was Elizabeth. Instead, Samuel approached him, cowering slightly when he caught Williams’ instant scowl.

  “A-apologies, Your Grace, for the disturbance,” his steward said quickly, bowing deeply.

  William faced the horse again, tamping down the unreasonable emotion. “You are not disturbing anything, Samuel. Is there something you would like to speak to me about?”

  “Yes, Your Grace.” Samuel shuffled his feet closer, making an insufferable sound in the process. “It appears matters have taken a turn at your estate in Bedfordshire, Your Grace. The late Duke appeared to have neglected the wages of nearly all the help, including the butler, and they are quite upset as a result.”

  Within an instant, William’s mood plummeted. For the past few days, he’d been able to forget about his foolish father and his terrible actions that had somehow almost run an entire Dukedom into the ground. The poor late Duchess was certainly turning in her grave this very moment. William grimaced at the thought. “Have you sent word of the Duke’s passing?”

  “I have, Your Grace,” Samuel responded. “But it appears such an explanation does not appease their discontentment, as expected.”

  William let his hand drop to the side. “How long have they gone without their wages?”

  “It is almost a year, Your Grace.”

  “Damn!” His hands fisted, a surge of fury filling him all at
once. In the corner of his eye, William saw his steward flinched, but somehow managed to maintain his posture.

  As soon as he took care of one thing, another issue popped its head up and threatened to drive William insane. He didn’t know how long he could keep this up, how much he would have to do to fix what his father had broken.

  William sucked in a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. Suddenly, he wished he was alone, so that he could take out his anger without an audience. But even if Samuel left, he wouldn’t dare to do something foolish and upset the horses. “They will not be happy if I send you to speak to them,” he said slowly, sorting through the solution in his head. “I shall have to go there myself.”

  “I believe that will be the best course of action, Your Grace,” Samuel agreed. William didn’t miss the fact that he’d taken a step back. “The servants will want to see the new Duke in order to ascertain the stability of their positions. When shall you be leaving?”