A Daughter's Dream

by Cathy Sharp

‘No, I don’t think so. It’s time we sorted things out between us, Amy. I’m not prepared to go on like this any longer.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ My heart was beating so fast that I could scarcely breathe, and I did not dare to look at him.

  ‘I mean I don’t want to be your friend. It isn’t enough. Either you want me or you don’t. I’ve been patient. God knows it’s been hard, but I’ve kept quiet because I knew you were hurt and I wanted to give you time to heal, but it’s over. You have to let the past go and move on.’

  ‘I have, Matt.’ I moved away from him, turning away because I couldn’t bear to face him. ‘I did grieve for Paul but that’s over now. I’m not sure what I felt for him but whatever it was it has gone.’

  ‘And the other business … with Maitland?’

  I found the courage to turn and look at him. ‘I’ve realized that I must just forget that night. In a way I was lucky. Nothing very terrible happened to me. But it was all mixed up with Paul, and what Mary did, and the nightmares.’ A shudder ran through me. ‘It took a long time to get it out of my mind, and at first the only way I could do that was to work. I worked all the time because I couldn’t bear to think – and it just became a habit.’

  ‘And you’ve been successful,’ Matthew said. ‘Everyone says you’re going to keep rising in the fashion business. Don’t think I want you to give all that up. I know you’re not like Margaret. You wouldn’t be happy just being a wife and mother. I know you need a career. I understand, but I have to know if I mean anything to you. I can’t take this friendship stuff any more. I want you, Amy. I want to make love to you.’

  ‘Oh, Matt …’ I stared at him and then I began to cry. Not silent tears but noisy sobs that shook my whole body. ‘Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry. I can’t …’

  ‘That’s it then? That’s my answer? You don’t want me.’

  He turned and walked out of the room. I was so stunned that I couldn’t move immediately. By the time I managed to make myself function he was walking down the stairs, at the bottom before I’d even reached the top.

  ‘Matt! Don’t go!’ I cried and took a hasty step forward, missing the top stair and stepping into air. I screamed and went tumbling forward. Matt came rushing towards me, catching me and breaking my fall, but as he fought to steady us both, my foot twisted underneath me and I screamed with pain.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ He looked at my face, which I knew must be white with pain. ‘Have you damaged yourself?’

  ‘I think it’s my ankle.’

  ‘You silly little idiot! What did you think you were doing?’

  ‘I wanted to stop you.’

  ‘You could have broken your neck.’

  ‘Stop quarrelling with me and help me back upstairs. I don’t think I can make it alone.’

  He glared at me, then stooped to pick me up, carrying me back to the sitting room and depositing me gently on the settee.

  ‘I’d better have a look. If you’ve broken a bone you’ll need to go to hospital.’

  ‘I think it’s just a sprain.’ I touched his hand as he knelt down and began to examine my ankle very carefully. ‘Don’t be angry, Matt. I’m sorry I’ve been so awful to you.’

  He stood up. ‘I’ll get some cold water and bathe it. I think it is just a nasty sprain.’

  The cold water eased the worst of the stinging pain. I caught his hand again as he was about to gather up the bowl and cloths he had used.

  ‘Please don’t go, Matt.’

  ‘I thought you wanted me to.’ He frowned. ‘You said you were sorry but you couldn’t love me …’

  ‘No! I was trying to apologize for being so selfish. It wasn’t easy and you didn’t give me a chance to finish.’

  ‘No, I suppose I didn’t.’ He looked rueful. ‘I’ve always been a bit impatient where you’re concerned, and I was sure you were telling me you didn’t love me. I’ve been dreading this for ages, but I had to know the truth, Amy. I love you so very much.’

  ‘Oh, Matt …’ I said shakily. ‘I was trying to tell you that I do love you. I’ve always loved you, but I was too young when we were together the first time. Working for my aunt, meeting Mary and Paul – it made me realize that if I married too soon I would be missing so much that I needed to know about life and myself. But I never stopped loving you. Even when I felt so muddled and confused, I knew that I needed you in my life.’

  ‘You haven’t shown it much lately. And loving someone isn’t the same as being in love.’

  ‘Yes, of course, I know that,’ I said, reaching for his hand and holding it tightly as he sat beside me on the edge of the settee. ‘I am in love with you, Matt. There has never been anyone else for me in that way.’

  ‘You were in love with Paul Ross.’ His eyes were hard with accusation.’

  ‘No. No, it wasn’t like that. It might have been if he had been different – but he was such a sad person, Matt. I think it was sympathy I felt for him, and understanding. He was haunted by his fear of madness and he had lost what was most important to him in life. Something in me responded to his need – but even then I knew you were the one I wanted to marry one day.’

  ‘You might have let me in on the secret, Amy.’

  ‘After what happened at Mary’s house … For a long time I felt dirty, Matt. I felt that I wasn’t good enough for you, that I had spoiled what we had – made it shabby.’

  ‘How could you have thought that? You knew I loved you.’

  ‘I wasn’t thinking at all for a long time,’ I said. ‘And then I wasn’t sure that you cared any more. I thought that perhaps there might be someone else.’

  ‘If you mean the lady in Manchester …’ Matt chuckled softly. ‘Beatrice is the wife of a good friend of mine. Her husband was taken ill that day, and they had rushed him straight to theatre to have an operation. I was taking her to the hospital to see him.’

  ‘Oh, Matt!’ I smiled at him in relief. ‘What an idiot you must think me. Believing that you … And then falling down the stairs …’

  ‘It’s good to know you’re not the sophisticated, super-efficient woman I thought you had become,’ he said with a wry grin. ‘You always seem to be talking about your rich clients, and you fly over to Paris at the drop of a hat. I thought I wasn’t exciting enough for you any more.’

  ‘Oh, Matt! Now you’re being an idiot. I’ve been to Paris twice. Besides, flying to Paris is about work – and clients are work, even if some of them do ask me to their parties. What I need is a life of my own – a husband and children to love me.’

  ‘Won’t children get in the way of your work?’

  ‘I shan’t be able to do as much, but I’ve been delegating most of the embroidery and fitting to the girls for a while now, and I’ve decided to look for someone to take my place in the shop. I would rather concentrate on my designing, which I can do just as well from home.’

  ‘Are you sure that’s what you want?’ Matt looked at me anxiously. ‘Don’t do it for me, Amy.’

  ‘I’m not going to give up entirely, but it has been in my mind for a while. I’ve had several enquiries from large stores that would like to use my designs in their ready to wear collections, and I may decide to go down that road.’

  ‘What does Lainie think to all this?’

  ‘I haven’t told her yet,’ I said. ‘But why are we talking about work? I thought you said you wanted to make love to me …’

  He smiled ruefully. ‘I think that has to wait a little, don’t you? I can hardly seduce you when you’ve just sprained your ankle, can I?’

  ‘You could try,’ I said, and smiled as he bent down to kiss me on the lips. ‘Don’t be such a gentleman, Matt. I want you to make love to me tonight.’

  ‘I’m afraid you can’t always have what you want, Amy. I’ve waited a long time for this and when it finally happens it’s going to be perfect.’ He frowned as I moved towards him impatiently and winced at the pain. ‘See what I mean? There’s no way I’m going to take you to bed when you’re in such
pain.’

  ‘Then carry me there, and lie beside me,’ I said. ‘At least you can hold me and kiss me, the way you used to …’

  ‘Yes, I could do that,’ he said. ‘And I think perhaps I’d better spend the night here. By morning that ankle may be so swollen that you won’t be able to go down and open the shop.’

  ‘People will talk, Matt,’ I teased.

  ‘Let them,’ he said. ‘If I have my way it won’t be too long before I make an honest woman of you, Amy Robinson. Besides, there’s no way I’m going to leave you alone when you’re in pain.’

  ‘Have I ever mentioned that you are incredibly bossy, Matthew Corder?’

  ‘I think you may have done, but not for a long time.’ He smiled as he bent down to lift me gently in his arms. ‘I’ve missed you, Amy. Welcome back, my darling. It’s good to have the girl I fell in love with back again.’

  ‘She never really went away,’ I said, putting my arms about his neck and kissing his ear. ‘You may remember I used to be rather fond of getting my own way. And this is what I want.’

  Thirteen

  ‘It makes me wish I was getting married all over again,’ Jane said as she congratulated me after my show. ‘That wedding dress you ended the show with is divine, Amy. Will you be wearing it yourself?’

  ‘No. Mine is much simpler. I designed it a long time ago, and Margaret is making it for me.’

  ‘What shall we do when you hand over to the new people?’ Millie asked plaintively. ‘I’m going to miss you so much, Amy. It won’t be the same without you.’

  ‘It was Lainie’s decision, not mine,’ I said. ‘Apparently she’d had an offer for the business on the table for months, but put off making her decision until I made up my mind to get married. But you’ll still be able to buy my designs, Millie. I’m going to be working from home for one of the largest fashion designers in London, though I can’t tell you any details just yet because we haven’t finalized the contract. And I might come up with something personal for my favourite customers.’

  ‘I do hope that means us,’ Jane said instantly. ‘I’m putting on so much weight these days, and the only person who knows how to disguise that is you, Amy.’

  ‘Well, it will only be for special occasions,’ I said. ‘But I don’t want to completely lose touch with my friends.’

  Millie looked at me oddly. ‘You still visit Mary, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, at least once a month. She is very much better now, but I don’t think she’ll ever leave that place. The last time I saw her she was thinking of joining the religious order.’

  ‘She must have changed so much,’ Jane said. ‘It doesn’t sound like the Mary I knew at all.’

  ‘She isn’t the same, she never could be,’ I said.

  Neither Jane nor Millie could ever understand what had happened to Mary, and the reasons for the huge change in her. They knew about Paul, of course, but the rest of it would always remain a secret.

  ‘Well, I must be leaving,’ Jane said and looked round. ‘Goodness, we’re almost the last. Come along, Millie. I’m sure Amy wants to close the shop and clear up the mess we’ve all made.’

  I saw them to the door, then put the bolt on and went upstairs to join my mother and Lainie, who had insisted on washing the last of the glasses.

  ‘Have they all gone?’ my mother asked. ‘I thought those two would take root, so I did. Don’t they have homes to go to?’

  ‘They were telling me how much they would miss me.’

  ‘You’re not going to change your mind?’ Lainie looked at me in alarm. ‘Only I’m just about ready to sign the lease over to the new people.’

  ‘Of course I shan’t change my mind,’ I said. ‘It’s my wedding next week. Everything is arranged.’

  ‘Of course she won’t change her mind,’ my mother said. ‘I think Matthew would have something to say about that.’

  ‘Yes, and he can be very forceful,’ I said, laughing at the memory of our last meeting. ‘He’s taking me out this evening to celebrate, and so if you don’t mind

  ‘She’s telling us to go,’ Lainie said and pulled a face at my mother.

  ‘Yes, I think she is.’

  ‘We’ll let ourselves out,’ Lainie said. ‘I’m glad the show was such a success, Amy, and I’m sorry in a way that you’ve decided to give up just when everything was going so well – but I’m glad you’re going to marry Matthew.’

  ‘So am I,’ I said. ‘Don’t forget, I shall be doing what I always wanted to do – concentrating on the designing. I might even have another show one day, but that won’t be until my children are old enough to go to school.’

  ‘What children?’ My mother gave me an old-fashioned look.

  ‘The children we’re going to have when we’re married,’ I said. ‘If you don’t go I shan’t be ready when Matt comes to pick me up.’

  ‘We’re on our way,’ Lainie said and, taking my mother’s arm, steered her to the stairs. I could hear them arguing good-naturedly as they left together.

  I went to have a bath as soon as they’d gone. The show had overrun by more than an hour and if I didn’t hurry I was going to be late. I was only just emerging from the bathroom in my comfortable old robe when I heard Matthew run up the stairs. He had his own key now, and came in carrying a bottle of champagne and a huge bunch of red roses.

  ‘I thought you would be ready,’ he said. ‘But I suppose they all wanted to talk afterwards.’

  ‘Something like that,’ I said as I took the roses from him. ‘Pop the champagne in the ice bucket, Matt, and we’ll open it when we come back from dinner. I’ll just put these in water and then I’ll get dressed.’

  He came to the kitchen to watch as I placed the roses in a crystal vase, then as I turned to leave he reached out and drew me into his arms, drawing me close and kissing me hungrily.

  ‘Have I ever told you that you’re beautiful?’

  ‘Like this?’

  ‘Especially like this,’ he murmured huskily. ‘I seem to recall that you gave me an invitation a few days ago, one I was forced to decline because your ankle was hurting. It looks fully recovered to me …’

  ‘It is, perfectly,’ I said as I slipped my arms up about his neck, tangling my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. ‘I thought we were going out?’

  ‘Later,’ he said huskily. ‘I’ve waited so long. I don’t think I can wait for the wedding, Amy.’

  ‘That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me today.’ I lifted my face for his kiss. ‘I wasn’t very hungry anyway.’

  Later, a long, long time later, when I lay nestled in his arms, content and pleased with the world, I sighed and Matt looked down at my face.

  ‘Not regretting anything?’

  ‘Do you need to ask?’ I teased, trailing my fingers over his naked chest and down his navel. ‘I think any doubts you might have had about my feelings for you should now be finally put to rest.’

  ‘Yes, I think we can agree on that,’ he said and kissed my shoulder. ‘So how does it feel to be an almost-married woman, Amy?’

  ‘Quite nice,’ I said. ‘But it will be even better when we can do this every night.’

  ‘You always were very demanding, Amy.’ He smiled as he bent his head to kiss me lingeringly once more. ‘I’m not sure about every single night …’

  He laughed as I nipped his ear with my teeth.

  ‘I’m hungry,’ he announced, throwing back the covers. ‘Get up and make my supper, woman – or, on second thoughts, stay there and I’ll make something for you.’

  ‘We’ll do it together,’ I said and got out of bed. ‘That’s the way it’s going to be in future, Matt. Whatever we do, we’ll do it together.’

  A smile started deep down inside him, lighting up his eyes.

  ‘I like the sound of that,’ he said.

  If you loved these stories read more of Cathy Sharp’s heart-warming novels

  When there is nowhere else to turn, St Saviour’s will give them hop
e …

  Click here to buy now 978-0-00-811845-7

  Can they ever escape from their past?

  Click here to buy now 978-0-00-811848-8

  Will they find a loving home this Christmas?

  Click here to buy now 978-0-00-811851-8

  He’s holding his family together

  Click here to buy now 978-0-00-821161-5

  About the Author

  Cathy Sharp is happily married and lives with her husband in a small Cambridgeshire village. They like visiting Spain together and enjoy the benefits of sunshine and pleasant walks, while at home they love their garden and visiting the Norfolk seaside.

  Cathy loves writing because it gives pleasure to others. She finds writing an extension of herself and it gives her great satisfaction. She says, ‘There is nothing like seeing your book in print, because so much loving care has been given to bringing that book into being.’

  Also by Cathy Sharp

  The Halfpenny Orphans Series

  The Orphans of Halfpenny Street

  The Little Runaways

  Christmas for the Halfpenny Orphans

  The Boy with the Latch Key

  A Daughter’s Sorrow

  A Daughter’s Choice

  About the Publisher

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  Canada

  HarperCollins Canada

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  New Zealand

  HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited

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  United Kingdom

  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

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