Instigations

by Kiki Archer

  He slammed the classroom door and sidled up to Kat at the back. He whispered, “Soz Miss, Faggy wasn’t in the last lesson and we had that bloke with the beard again and he kept me behind.”

  “It is Miss Phag, but thank you for the apology, now go and sit down. Miss Elton and Miss Eves are taking the start of the lesson today.”

  “Ai Ai!” The late boy jeered and winked at Freya.

  Freya snapped back, “Sit down and shut up.”

  He immediately spun back around to Kat. “You can’t let her talk to me like that Miss!”

  Kat stood up and spoke loudly. “Right, now that we are all here, can I just make it clear that it will be Miss Elton and Miss Eves taking the lesson. Ignore the fact that we are here at the back.”

  “Who’s that?” The late boy was scrunching his nose up at Elaine and her multi-coloured outfit.

  “This is Miss Springer.”

  The boy jeered at Freya, “Ooo, she is watching you!”

  Kat cut back in. “All eyes to the front. Sorry Miss Elton, please continue.”

  Freya leaned back against the board smudging her slightly wonky writing. “Okay, the first thing we are going to do,” she paused, noticing the red pen on the sleeve of her shirt, “the first objective we are going to achieve, is to establish the effect of the Industrial Revolution.”

  The late boy spun back around. “Miss, she does know we’re bottom set, don’t she?!”

  Renee cut in, “We’re just going to find out how the Industrial Revolution changed people’s lives.”

  Elaine added another tick to Renee’s sheet.

  “Exactly, thank you Miss Eves.” Freya turned back to the board. “So we need to consider the impact on, jobs -”

  “Ha! Miss you have red pen on your shirt!”

  Freya held out the board marker. “Right, it’s Danny, isn’t it?”

  The late boy nodded.

  “Okay Danny, could you come up here and write the following words on the board?”

  Kat nodded to herself. She had taught the girls to get the trouble makers involved, make them feel part of the lesson so they were not so intent on disrupting it. She waited for Elaine to make a tick; she didn’t.

  Freya had started to sweat, but carried on. “Okay, so we need to look at how the Industrial Revolution impacted on jobs. Danny, write jobs please.”

  Danny rolled up his sleeves and wrote jobs in large capital letters.

  Freya relaxed slightly and continued. “How it affected health. Danny if you could add health to the list.” She turned to see that a hand in the wanking position had been drawn in front of the word JOBS.

  The class burst out laughing.

  Renee calmly stepped forward and handed him the cloth. “Clever, now wipe it off.”

  Freya raised her voice, “Write health please Danny.”

  Danny slowly formed his letters - HELF.

  The class started to laugh again and Freya looked at the board. “Not so clever now are we Danny?” She regretted it the moment she said it.

  “Fuck this, I don’t have to listen to this.” He threw the red marker pen onto the floor and stormed back to his desk. “Who are you anyway? Sorry Spicer, but I’m out of here.” He reached for his scrappy backpack. “I’m not having her speak to me like that. Tell me when you’re teaching and I’ll come back. You never talk to me like that Miss, do you?!” He slammed the classroom door shut and stalked off into the corridor.

  Kat calmly nodded at Freya to continue.

  Freya knew she was drowning, but turned back towards the board and corrected the spelling. “We also need to see how it affected Transport.” She added TRANSPORT to the list.

  “We ain’t all as good at spelling as you Miss.” A usually timid girl felt she had to speak up. Danny was always getting into trouble and it wasn’t always his fault.

  “I know. I made a mistake.” Freya’s voice had started to wobble. “That’s why we are called trainee teachers.”

  “Fair play Miss.” The girl nodded in approval, not many teachers admitted when they were wrong. “So, what are we doin’ now?”

  Freya clapped her hands together and tried to get back into her stride. “Well if you would turn to page thirteen of your textbooks.” She waited for the moaning and flicking to subside and signalled to the same girl. “Could you read the first paragraph aloud for us?”

  “No chance Miss, I can’t read.” She spun round to the back. “Tell her Miss Spicer, you never make me read. I’m on that speedy readers scheme.”

  Another boy laughed. “Stupid name. Everyone know you lot who skive off to speedy readers are really the slowest readers ever!” He pointed at some text in his book. “W-eee ...... arrr-e .... llll-ur-ning ... a-bbbb-out .... the ... in-in-duuuus-tt-rr-eal ... rrrr-evvv-“

  Renee literally stepped in and took control. “Right guys, not to worry. Let’s just have a quick quiz round instead. It’s fun, I promise!”

  Freya admitted defeat and sank back down onto the padded teacher’s chair.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Their lovemaking had been slow and tender, but neither had spoken. Both knew what the other wanted and they easily pleased. Kat lay quietly in the darkness of her bedroom, with Freya under her arm. She felt fulfilled, but somehow not content. Freya’s long and drawn out breaths were sending a flow of warm air across her chest, but it was not the warmth that she so badly craved. Freya had been distant, evasive, and her eyes had seemed sad. She clearly had a lot on her mind and in so many respects Kat wanted to hear it, dissect it and put it all right; but in so many others she didn’t.

  Freya wriggled back onto her pillow and was the first one to break. “I’m shit aren’t I?” She sighed into the darkness. “Just admit it, I’m shit. I know you’re thinking it and I know I’ve disappointed you. I can see it in your eyes.”

  Kat touched the bedside switch and the room gently lit up in a warm, soft glow. She pulled a long chestnut curl away from Freya’s face and studied her. She looked beautiful. “You’re not shit. You’re not shit at anything. Now if you’re talking about today’s lesson again, then Renee is the shit.” Kat looked up at the ceiling and the small stars that had started to twinkle in the light. “I can’t believe she lied. Why didn’t she tell us that Elaine was coming?” Kat frowned. “Who does that?”

  Freya moved further away from Kat and adjusted her pillow. “She said she did. She said she texted me.”

  Kat rolled her eyes. She had met girls like Renee before, always looking for the glory, always stepping over others for personal success. In a way she was pleased. It had brought them closer together and put that silly game of hang man into perspective. How could Renee be trying to steal her girlfriend if she was willing to set her up like that? Freya had been visibly knocked by the experience and she had been able to empathise. There was nothing worse than the feeling of sinking in front of a class; letting them get on top of you and letting them drag you down, until you were drowning with no way back up. She had told Freya about her very first teaching placement where she had experienced a similar thing with a bottom set Year Ten class who got completely out of control. She had lost it and didn’t know whether to scream at them or cry. Her mentor at the time had put things into perspective, as she had just done for Freya, asking her to name exactly who it was that caused the lesson to fall apart. Kat had given the names of three pupils, as had Freya - Danny the late boy, Josie the slow reader, and Chris the mocker of Josie. She had then asked Freya to tell her how many others were in the class. There had been twenty four other pupils sat quietly, politely, waiting for instruction, and it was these pupils that Kat reminded Freya to think about. They were the majority, and the majority were well behaved. She leaned forwards, kissed Freya’s bare shoulder and decided to broach the subject of the apartment; but Freya cut in first.

  “Are you sure you didn’t delete the text?”

  “Which text?”

  “The one Renee said she send about Elaine coming.”

  K
at lifted her eyes from Freya’s shoulder. “What?”

  “The text from Renee, about Elaine coming to observe me.”

  Kat lifted herself onto one arm. “Yes, I heard the first time, but I can’t believe you are asking me. Why would I delete a text from Renee about your first observation?”

  Freya pulled the covers up to her chin. “She said she sent one and you have started to read my messages!”

  Kat frowned. “Are you being serious? I read one message last week. What would be my motive for deleting a text? Don’t forget that I’m also judged on how you pair perform.”

  “What would be her motivation?” The reply was too quick.

  Kat no longer knew what to do. She felt lost, once again in a situation that felt uneasy. It was like she was at the bottom of a huge uphill struggle, unsure if she had the strength to make the effort. She decided her only option was to bare her soul. She sat up in bed and took Freya’s hand. “Will you listen to me please? I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you-”

  Freya shrugged her shoulders and cut in. “What’s the point if you don’t trust me?”

  Kat took a deep breath. “I was about to say, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want us to think about getting a place of our own.”

  Freya turned to face her. “Really?”

  “Yes really. It’s a long story, but I feel ready. All I want is you.”

  Freya couldn’t reply.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  It was one of those days that Kat would remember forever. The music was soothing, the atmosphere calm, and everyone had pitched in together to achieve Ben’s dream. It had taken the whole day, but now Freya’s bedroom looked like a scene from the Jungle Book. Ben had ordered two sets of gigantic Disney room stickers and Mowgli and Baloo were hopping from wall to wall in a never ending game of chase. Gerald had come around with the latest state of the art paint roller system, saying he would love to help and was glad of the change of scenery. It was the first time that Kat had actually met the man, and it all finally made sense. Lucy had said he was old, but Lucy was often prone to exaggeration. However on this occasion, she had been pretty close to the mark. He was the wrong side of fifty and struggled to catch his breath as they made their way back up the apartment stairs after lunch out and a much needed break from the painting. He had insisted on paying and spent most of the mealtime yet again explaining their decision for Benny. It was exactly as Ben and Lucy had described it, but his constant comments of ‘what’s best for Benny,’ made Kat wonder if he was in fact trying to ease his own conscience. He clearly loved the little boy, but it became obvious with the way he spoke about his job and the constant long calls he took throughout the day that work was in fact his first true love.

  Lisa had been a stay at home mum for the past four years and if Gerald was really honest then he had to admit he knew little about raising a four year old boy. Their marriage had worked in the traditional way - she was the homebuilder and he paid the bills. Kat did not doubt that he would spend as much free time as he could with Benny, but she understood that he could not provide the stable and secure home that Benny would so desperately need. Yes, if push would have come to shove, then Benny could have stayed at home with Gerald, but he would have needed nannys, babysitters, pre-school and afterschool clubs, and various different travel arrangements. All at a time when the one thing he would truly want would not be there; his mummy. Yes, announced Gerald once more on his way out of the apartment, this was for the best.

  Ben shook the man’s hand and offered a heartfelt word of thanks, not only for his help with the room, but for his trust in their abilities; their abilities as parents. The thought sent a shiver down his spine as he shut the apartment door and walked back into the brightly coloured new room. He reached out, pulled Kat and Lucy close and nodded at their efforts. “I don’t know what I would do without you guys.” A tiny tear formed in the corner of his eye. “I just want everything to be perfect for Benny.”

  Kat smiled. “It will be,” she banged his broad chest, “but the amount of stuff in my room just isn’t do-able, and I’m sure it will be the same when you move your stuff in too.”

  Ben nodded. “I know, but it might not be for ages yet. Lisa seems to be picking up.”

  Kat nodded encouragingly. “Is she?”

  Lucy shook her head. “She’s stopped her treatment.”

  Kat understood. There would be a momentary reprieve before a rapid downhill struggle, with an almost undeniable ending. “We will get out of here as soon as we can.”

  “Don’t say it like that!” Lucy hugged her very best friend. “I love you Katherine Spicer and I can’t believe you are doing this for us.”

  “What else would I do? You and your new little family will need all of the help you can get.”

  It was now Lucy’s turn to wipe away a small tear. “Are you guys going to be okay?”

  Kat knew who she was referring too. “I think so, yes. Freya is just a bit on edge at the moment. She has an observation tomorrow with her tutor. Remember me telling you that her last one didn’t go very well?”

  Lucy nodded, she had heard all about that bitch Renee stealing the limelight and taking the glory.

  “Freya’s tutor thinks she should transfer onto the pure history course instead.”

  Lucy shook her blunt fringe. “Oh no! Freya’s a natural teacher! Crikey, she has taught me loads over the past few months.”

  Kat rubbed her forehead. “I know, I think she has just started to doubt herself. But hey, if everything goes okay tomorrow then I am sure she will be back on track.” She checked her watch.

  “Is she still on the phone?”

  Kat shrugged her shoulders. “I guess so.”

  “Are you sure that’s all it is? A worry about her work?”

  Kat frowned at her non perceptive friend. “Yes, why?”

  “Oh nothing. She’s just been a bit distant today.”

  “Haven’t we all?” suggested Kat, thinking back to the mellow tunes and quiet, determined teamwork. All for a rather depressing cause.

  “Yeah, I’m sure everything will be fine.” Lucy flicked her black fringe, eager to change the subject. “Have you started to look for places yet?”

  Kat shook her head and reached down to the carpet to pick up a stray piece of plastic wrapping from the Disney stickers. “No, Freya has said she doesn’t want to think about that yet. She wants to get this observation out of the way first ... and I totally agree.” Kat felt the need to add the last bit.

  “Well go and get her. I think it’s about time we cracked open this bottle of bubbly. I know we’re not celebrating, but we have worked damn hard today and we all need a good wind down.”

  Kat popped her head out into the lounge, but Freya was not there. “Oh, she must have taken the call outside. I’ll give her a shout.”

  Lucy felt a pang of worry. Kat was the one person in this life who deserved true happiness. She looked at the slight anxiety in her telling blue eyes and prayed that Freya was the one to give it to her.

  ****

  The apartment door was ajar and Kat paused. She did not know why she paused, but she did. Maybe it was Freya’s hushed voice; hushed, but audible. Kat willed herself to make a noise and call her in, but she didn’t. She simply stood still and listened.

  Freya was pacing the corridor. “No, it’s been awful ...”

  “Yes of course I’m trying ...”

  “No ... No ... I’m not telling her ...”

  “No, not yet ....”

  “The timing’s not right ...”

  “You’d better not tell her ...”

  “Yes of course I do ...”

  “In my own time ...”

  “Yes ...”

  “Yes ...”

  “I do ...”

  “I do ...”

  “I love you too.”

  Kat heard the approaching footsteps and rushed away from the door, skidding into the kitchen area. Sh
e flicked the switch on the oversized red kettle and froze, transfixed by the shining metal cooker hood.

  Freya shut the apartment door and crept up behind her. “Any chance of a cup of tea and a chat? I’m so nervous about the observation tomorrow. I just don’t want to muck it up.” She rubbed Kat’s back. “I can’t imagine not being a teacher. I need your help Kat. Could you talk me through it just once more?” She spun Kat around. “Please?”

  Kat smiled gently, what choice did she have? “Of course I’ll help. You will be a wonderful teacher.” She nodded towards Benny’s new room. “I think they’re finished with us now. So if you get the plan, we can go through it once again.”

  Freya winked and turned towards their new double bedroom that was now completely overcrowded with their joint belongings. “What would I do without you?”

  Kat caught her breath and held onto a tiny tear. “Only you know the answer to that one Freya.”

  Twenty Five

  The walk to school had been cold and quiet, but both blamed the other for nerves. The priority had to be the morning’s observation, and both Kat and Freya understood its importance. Kat had accepted her duty and managed to put it first. Thoughts of the overheard conversation pushed far away to the back of her mind.

  Now sitting at the back of her classroom, which was home to twenty eight Year Eight students, she peeped down at Elaine Springer’s observation sheet. It appeared to be far more detailed than before. She glanced up at Freya who was now stood confidently at the front of the classroom, with a look of steely determination. Kat breathed a sigh of relief. The welcome and introduction had been calm, clear and in control.

  Freya continued to address the class. “So, next month is...” She looked around and nodded.

  A flurry of hands shot up. Freya signalled an eager looking girl sat at the front.

  “February Miss!”

  “Yes, perfect! Next month is February and I’m not sure how many of you will know this, but February is LGBT history month.” She tapped the red board marker against her bottom lip, this time she had ensured the lid was on securely. “Now, can anyone tell me what LGBT stands for?”