Ma, I'm Gettin Meself a New Mammy

by Martha Long

  CHAPTER 25

  ‘Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Martha! Happy birthday to you. Three Cheers! Hip hip hurrah!’

  ‘Now, Martha,’ Sister Eleanor smiled, bending down te give me her present. ‘You are sixteen today,’ she said, putting her hand on me shoulder.

  ‘Yeah, thanks, Sister,’ I smiled, feeling shy and delighted with all fuss. I looked up at her, saying, Thank you for the present,’ as I opened it slowly, with everyone shouting, ‘Hurry up! Open it. We want to see what you got.’

  ‘A book! That’s not much of a present,’ some of them whined, snorting with disappointment.

  ‘Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Oh, lovely, Sister,’ I said, delighted.

  ‘Ah, ye can’t be serious?’ cried Dilly Nugent, leaning over me shoulder.

  ‘What’s wrong with that?’ screeched Sister Eleanor.

  ‘A book!’ they all moaned.

  ‘Take no notice of them, Sister,’ I laughed. ‘It’s just what I wanted.’

  ‘Yeah, she would, what a gom!’

  ‘Stop this behaviour at once! Or you won’t get any of these sweets I brought you,’ sniffed Sister Eleanor, holding on tight te the tin of sweets, cradling them under her arms like a newborn baby.

  ‘Ah, we didn’t mean it, Sister. Go on. Don’t mind them,’ roared Dilly Nugent, throwing her arms around the refectory, taking in the lot of them.

  ‘Look who’s talking!’ shouted people standing behind me and roaring inta me ear.

  ‘Open your other present,’ shouted Loretta, lifting up me present all gift-wrapped in fancy paper.

  ‘Give that back!’ I roared, taking it off her.

  ‘Yeah, keep your maulers off!’ roared Dilly, putting her hand on me shoulder and whispering, ‘Hurry! Open it up and let’s all see what you got. Is that the one you got from Ma Pius?’

  ‘Yeah!’ I said, hearing Sister Eleanor roar in me other ear, ‘Mother Pius! Don’t dare call her that. She is your superior!’

  ‘Yeah, yeah! Open up the present, because we are all going to go mental with the waiting.’

  I took off the lovely red ribbon slowly, dying te know what she bought me, not believing this was happening te me. Me day had come at last! I’m now free te go where I like! I am going te be leaving here any day now. God! What a thought.

  ‘Go on! Blow out the candle and make a wish!’ shouted Sister Mercy, wanting me te taste the lovely cake she baked for me. I stared at it. A queen cake with a cherry on top and one candle. I laughed, knowing it was the thought that counts. She would have te make a huge cake if it was going te be shared with the whole group. I blew out the candle and paused for a second. God! Help me on me way and keep me ma and the children from all harm. And look after Charlie. That’s all I ask. Then me eyes lit on the present, and I opened it, taking out a beautiful white frilly babydoll slip and matching knickers.

  ‘Oooooh! They’re gorgeous!’ everyone gasped, while Dilly grabbed them, holding them up in the air te get a better look.

  ‘Gawd! You would never know she would think of buying something as lovely as that,’ whispered the girls.

  ‘Thanks, Dilly,’ I said, taking it off her and feeling the softness and looking at how lovely it was. I never saw anything as beautiful as these, never mind owned them. I quickly wrapped them back in the lovely wrapping paper te keep them safe, and everyone started shouting, ‘Come on, Sister Eleanor! Give us out the sweets.’

  ‘You are not getting them all!’ she said, carefully counting out four sweets for each person.

  ‘Ah, gawd! How mean can ye get?’ the moans went up.

  ‘Well, if you are not happy . . .’ cried Sister Eleanor, upset because her generosity was not being appreciated. ‘I will put them back in the box, and you can go without any.’

  ‘Martha, I am going to take you into town and buy you your going-away clothes,’ panted the Reverend Mother, watching my face flash from delight at the mention of buying clothes te shock at the mention of her taking me! Ah, hell! I thought, wondering if that was good or bad.

  ‘We will go into that new shop they have opened in Clerys. It is a shop especially for teenagers,’ she beamed, getting all excited and staring at me, waiting for my reaction. Teenagers! A shop special for them. That’s me! They are now calling people like us teenagers! That’s a new word.

  ‘Yes!’ she said, seeing me trying te work it out. ‘It’s called a boutique! Wouldn’t you like that?’ she said, all delighted and excited.

  ‘Oh, yes! I would love that Mother!’ I said, shaking me head up and down, the excitement beginning te hit me.

  ‘We will go in on Saturday, wouldn’t that be very nice?’

  ‘Oh, yes!’ I puffed, getting outa breath, never hearing the like of it in me life.

  ‘That’s settled, then,’ she said, waving her veil back on her shoulder and taking off quite happy with herself.

  I flew down te me little room and danced up and down, me heart racing, not believing what she just said.

  ‘AAHHH! A BOUTIQUE! Oh, you are really lucky! We got nothing like that when we turned sixteen,’ screamed Dilly Nugent and her gang, listening te me as I was telling Loretta.

  ‘Yeah, I heard about it. It’s called The Rave. And it’s only for teenagers. The aul ones can’t go in. Listen, Martha! When you get there, grab the first thing that takes your eye. Don’t let the Reverend Mother pick your clothes for you!’ panted Dilly, breathing inta me face, looking shocked at the thought I might be done outa something good.

  ‘Yeah!’ everyone shouted. ‘Grab the first thing and hang on to it. Make her buy it and don’t listen to what she says. Yeah!’ everyone was shouting, and me head was spinning trying te take in what everyone was saying. They all wanted te give me advice and get their tuppence ha’penny worth in.

  ‘Right!’ I shook me head. ‘I’ll pick me own stuff,’ I said, thinking it was a good idea.

  ‘It’s best to be prepared. Otherwise you might end up getting nothing!’ Dilly shouted, knowing all about these things.

  Yeah, ye could be right, I thought. Nothing’s ever that easy. There might be a catch!

  ‘Yeah!’ they agreed, satisfied they had taken the smile off me face, bringing me down te earth. But they are right all the same. It doesn’t do te get yer hopes up.

  We stepped off the bus on O’Connell Street and walked miles up te the traffic lights at the Nelson’s Pillar and waited for the lights te change. I would have been across the road now and in the shop if I had been on me own. But I stood next te the Reverend Mother, standing in her long coat habit that buttoned from her black boots up te her chin, and waited patiently te cross the road, while people stood back, giving us plenty of space, outa respect for the holy nun.

  ‘Come along, now,’ she said, holding on te her leather bag with the money in it, I hoped! Or maybe she will put it on their account. Ma Pius says they have an account there. I’m feeling hot and bothered with all the excitement and the waiting, and now we just stepped inta the shop. Me eyes flew around the store, not seeing anything but shapes, I was that worn out.

  ‘Come along,’ she said, following some sign up above she spotted and I didn’t.

  We arrived on the next floor and headed over te a little area carpeted off with flashing different-coloured balls and lights and racks holding lines of bright clothes in every colour under the sun. I was blinded for a minute, making after her, trying te feast me eyes on one thing.

  ‘What do you think?’ she said, holding up a long black maxi coat, something like the one she was wearing.

  ‘Eh . . .’ Me head flew around the racks, getting dizzy from the balls changing colour, and suddenly me eyes rested on a rack of coats. I made straight for them, lifting up the first one I laid hands on.

  Oooh, it’s a Bonnie and Clyde coat! A trench coat in an offwhite colour, with a wraparound belt and a split at the back, and duffel buttons, with wide lapels, and . . . Oh my gawd! I always wanted something like this. Even
the spies used te wear them. The men went mad after the women wearing one of these in the fillums.

  I whipped off me aul green one, letting it fall on the carpet, and tried it on. ‘What do ye think, Mother?’ I said, straightening meself up and fastening the belt.

  ‘It’s a bit tight,’ she said, not looking very impressed.

  I looked at the sleeves; they are a bit short for me all right. But . . .

  ‘Would you not like to try something else?’ she asked me, looking around.

  ‘No, no!’ I said, grabbing the coat off me and wrapping it tightly around me arm. ‘I’ll take this,’ I said, me stomach lurching with nerves in case she wouldn’t buy it. I really, desperately, wanted this coat. I have dreamed about wearing something like this. All them spy films . . . and especially Bonnie and Clyde! Oh, God! Make sure she buys it for me.

  ‘Are you sure?’ she said, seeing me carry the coat wrapped tightly around me arm.

  ‘Oh, yes, Mother! This is fine.’

  ‘Would you not try on a bigger size?’

  I didn’t hear her. All I could hear was, ‘Hang on to the coat! Hang on to the coat for dear life. Let that down and you won’t see the like of it again!’

  ‘It’s grand, Mother,’ I smiled, feeling weak from the agony of it all.

  ‘Right! Let us find you a dress,’ she said, not looking too sure. Then lifting her head te swing around the boutique with all the flashing colours and lights. We walked on, sinking down inta the deep carpet, with the lights swimming around and around, throwing different-coloured shapes on te the carpet and around the walls, making me eyes cross and me head spin, taking in too much and not seeing anything at all.

  We made our way over te the rack of dresses, and me eye lit on a red one with a snow-white linen collar. I grabbed it, holding it up against meself. ‘This is the one I want, Mother!’ I gasped, nearly suffocating from the shock of it all, not really understanding what is happening te me.

  ‘Are you sure?’ she said, looking down at me and creasing her eyebrows, her eyes staring outa her head, wondering how I could know what I wanted in such a flash.

  ‘Oh, yes! It’s really lovely,’ I panted.

  ‘But what size is it? What size are you?’

  I didn’t know! ‘Oh, it’s my size, Mother,’ I said holding it against me again and looking down, seeing it just above me knees. Not too short, I thought, hoping she wouldn’t make me get something longer. It would hang down under the coat! Gawd! No! I’m not having that. ‘It fits me perfectly,’ I said, seeing her staring, looking from the size of me te the size of the frock.

  ‘OK! If that’s what you want,’ she sighed, giving in. ‘Come now and we’ll find you a nice pair of shoes.’

  Oh, this is too much, I thought, me heart lepping in me chest, wondering if something is going te go wrong and I’ll end up with having te put the lot of the stuff back. We made for the shoe rack, me following behind. She was always one step ahead of me, because I couldn’t see properly, with me head swimming around at all the stuff.

  ‘Now! What do you think of these?’ she said, picking up a pair of black walking shoes with laces. I flicked me eyes over them, not giving them the time of day, grabbing up instead a shiny black patent pair with wedge heels and tried them on.

  ‘They fit me perfectly,’ I said, throwing out me foot for the two of us te get a good look.

  ‘Hm! They are nice,’ she said, smiling for the first time.

  ‘Do ye like them, Mother?’ I said, getting very excited.

  ‘Yes! They look lovely on you,’ she said. ‘Right! I think we have everything,’ she said, her eyes sweeping around the floor.

  ‘Eh, what about me hat, Mother?’

  ‘Hat? Oh, no! You won’t be needing a hat,’ she laughed. ‘Sure, people don’t wear hats any more.’

  ‘Yes they do! Everyone wears a hat now. Look!’ I showed her the hats sitting on racks on the wall. ‘Caps, Mother!’

  ‘Oh, they are nonsense. Sure, you surely wouldn’t wear something like that!’ she laughed. ‘They are like something our farmer would wear,’ she said, ‘only they are in different colours. They are only old caps, like something a man would wear,’ she said, laughing, staring at me then looking back at them.

  ‘You are right, Mother. I wouldn’t wear one of them. What I want is a Bonnie and Clyde hat.’

  ‘A what?’ she said, her mouth dropping open, trying te figure out what that was.

  ‘Like this one!’ I said, grabbing a black soft-wool French beret off the wall and slapping it on me head and pulling it down one side and over me right eye. ‘It will go with my coat,’ I said, rushing over te get a look in the mirror. ‘Ooooh! It looks smashing on me,’ I gasped, seeing Marlene Dietrich standing under her lamppost, singing with her, ‘Oh! I ham sooo beauti ful. Kum! And grov el at my feet, you sil ley, boys,’ voice on her, staring out at ye with her smouldering eyes, driving all the fellas mad. Well, I’m not there yet! But . . . I stared at me hat sitting on top of me coppery shoulder-length hair resting on me shoulders, and leaned in closer te get a better look at me grey eyes dancing outa me white face, and gave meself a huge smile, admiring me snow-white teeth. Yeah! I need te work on smouldering me eyes, then I’ll be any man’s fancy when I start wearing me new rig-out! Me heart gave a leap, thinking of all me new style. Gawd! I am definitely going te look like something that stepped outa the fillums. Ooooh! Wait until the others see me in my new get-up. They are going te be sick as a dog. Raging with the look of me! I can’t wait te get back and show off everything.

  I raced back te the Reverend Mother, who was staring at a pair of bell-bottom trousers in purple velvet. ‘Goodness! Who would wear those?’ she said. ‘They look like something Groucho Marx would wear.’

  ‘Yeah! They’re awful,’ I said, looking at them in disgust.

  A young one pushed past and grabbed up a pair, screaming, ‘Ohhh, look! Mammeeee! These are the ones I was telling you about! And look, they will go with this hat,’ she squealed, grabbing a big felt hat and plopping it on her head, smothering her face.

  ‘It looks like a sombrero!’ the ma wailed. ‘Like one a them Mexicans wear!’

  ‘Yeah, Mammy! But it’s all the fashion now!’

  The Reverend Mother stared from one te the other, looking confused at the taste of the young one, and watching the mammy’s face te see what she thought. The mammy raised her eyes te heaven and looked at the Reverend Mother, who gave a squeal of laughing outa her and pushed me on te get me moving, saying, ‘Thank goodness we have that out of the way. Now! Where do we pay for them?’ she said, still laughing.

  I couldn’t believe me eyes. She’s laughing! I never remember ever seeing her laughing until yesterday, and that was not screaming laughing like she is now. We left the shop with me carrying a big brown carrier bag with two handles on it, and the Reverend Mother carried a big blue stripy suitcase, specially for me when I’m leaving the convent.

  ‘Martha! I received a phone call from the children’s home where you applied for training. They have agreed to accept you. They will be expecting you to begin your training next Saturday. So you will be leaving us in two days. You will need a reference. Here is one I have written out for you. Always keep this for yourself. Do not hand it over to anybody. Make copies and give them one.’

  ‘Yes, Mother! Thank you very much,’ I said, taking the letter from her, listening te her say, ‘I wish you all the very best, Martha. I know you will do well in whatever you choose to do.’

  ‘Thank you, Mother!’ I said, seeing her look like she wanted te cry. God! She must have liked me after all, I thought, feeling very sorry for all the terrible things I used te think about her. Funny! She never showed it.

  I stood in me new frock and black patent shoes with new tights, and wearing me new trench coat. The Reverend Mother was right. I could have got a size bigger, I thought, looking at the sleeves. There would have been more room inside; this just fits me. Still, I look grand in it. And with me new Bonny and
Clyde hat, I’m really up in the fashion.

  ‘Now!’ Sister Eleanor said, handing me a little holy picture with ‘In memory of this day’ and the day and month and year of me leaving inscribed on it. I don’t need te be reminded. I will never forget this day. ‘Goodbye, now! Be a good girl and keep out of trouble,’ said Sister Eleanor, waving me off.

  ‘Yes, Sister Eleanor,’ I smiled, picking up me suitcase.

  ‘Work hard! And keep practising your diction,’ roared Mother Pius.

  ‘Yes, Mother Pius.’

  ‘Oh, so now she’s off!’ said the Reverend Mother, giving me a present of a pair of mother-of-pearl rosary beads wrapped in cotton wool in a white box. ‘Don’t forget to say your prayers,’ she whispered.

  ‘Yes, Mother,’ I whispered, taking the box and putting it in me new handbag that Ma Pius gave me.

  ‘Goodbye, Martha! You look after yourself,’ whispered Matron Mona, grabbing both me hands and giving them a squeeze. ‘It will not be the same without you,’ she said, turning her back and walking off.

  ‘Thanks, Matron Millington,’ I said, staring after her, picking up me suitcase and heading out the door. She turned around and gave me a wave, then vanished back inta the convent. I won’t forget you, Matron, I thought, waving at her back.

  ‘Goodbye. Safe journey now!’

  ‘Bye! And thank you all for everything,’ I smiled, feeling sad and excited at the same time.

  The door closed and I stood on the top step hearing shouting. I gave a look over te the playing fields. Some of the girls were over there and jumped up and down, giving me waves and shouting, ‘Good luck, Martha! Have a great life!’