Break (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Lila Kane

  “And you think he’ll just tell you whatever you want to know?”

  I considered this seriously. John hadn’t been altogether rational the last time I’d seen him and hadn’t wanted to hear much of what I’d had to say. But he’d had time to calm down since then. To think things through. If he expected me to seriously consider his request to come in, he’d have to expect I’d want answers, wouldn’t he?

  “Your hesitation isn’t encouraging me, Charlotte,” Finn mumbled, crossing his arms.

  I turned, and much like Finn always did, stood in front of the window, staring out at the storm. Lightning lit the sky and the clouds, a jagged spear that shot through the night.

  “I think he might.”

  Finn walked up next to me without touching me. “I don’t know if that’s good enough for me.”

  “It’s not your choice,” I whispered.

  He didn’t respond, but it had to kill him that I’d do this with or without his blessing. I knew where he was coming from. I didn’t want him to have anything to do with Tracy, and she hadn’t pulled anything near what John had. I didn’t know what I’d do if I were in his shoes, but I could guarantee I wouldn’t be happy about it.

  I reached out to take Finn’s hand and told him what I was thinking. “I know you’re not happy about this.”

  He snorted. “How could you tell?”

  “Finn.” I swallowed, turning to him. “Please just think about it, okay? You don’t have to be there, but—”

  “There’s no way in hell you’re going there without me.”

  I smiled. “Tell me how you really feel.”

  He frowned and pulled me close. “How I really feel? I want you as far away from that man as possible. So he can’t touch you, see you, or hurt you ever again.”

  “I was joking,” I said weakly.

  “This isn’t a joke to me, Charlotte. John isn’t stable. He took you from me because of this crazy obsession. He could have seriously hurt you. He could have—”

  “Okay, Finn, shh. Please, don’t do this.” I reached up, touching his cheek. I pressed a kiss to his lips, trying to take away the pain in his voice. “It’s over.”

  “Not if you go see him. Not if—”

  I kissed Finn hard, trying to erase the hurt that was coming through. Trying to make him forget. He hitched me up and I wrapped my legs around him. Thunder boomed around us, but we were too lost in the kiss to notice.

  He walked to the couch, lowering us together to the cushions and squeezing my hips. “I need you,” he murmured.

  “And I need you.”

  On a sigh of pleasure, I arched back when Finn’s lips touched my neck. He gripped the hem of my shirt and pulled it off, letting my hair fall in a dark cloud around my bare shoulders. I wore nothing beneath, and his eyes feasted on my breasts in the dim lighting.

  In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to make him forget about last week and John and all the worry he’d lived through that day. I grabbed his hands and held them to my chest, closing my eyes as he released a breath.

  “I love you,” he said fiercely, raw emotion in his voice. “Don’t ever think anything different.”

  My heart breaking for him, I opened my eyes and kissed him again, my tongue sliding into his mouth. I pressed close, my breasts pushed up against his chest. Not close enough for him, he shifted to pull off his shirt, and then clutched me to him once again.

  His hand fisted in my hair, making me gasp at the intensity behind it. “Shorts,” he panted.

  I got off his lap long enough to yank off my shorts and watch Finn do the same with his sweats and boxers. I moved to straddle him again, but he jerked my waist and had me on my back on the soft cushions before I could blink.

  He linked his fingers with mine on both hands and stretched them high over my head, revealing the entire length of my body. “I hope this was on your list,” he said softly.

  “More than once, I believe.”

  He smiled, eyes dashing across my face, down my neck, and then to my breasts again. He lowered his mouth, still keeping my hands trapped in his. When his breath touched my nipple, my back arched.

  “Finn,” I whispered, my hands still locked in his grasp. “I need to touch you.”

  “Patience,” he murmured.

  His tongue circled around the puckered skin of my nipple, making me squirm. He pressed his hips against mine, the hardness of his erection nudging my thigh. I lifted to meet him, to get closer, but he only shifted away.

  “Not yet.”

  But when he released my hands, I moved faster than he was expecting. I grabbed his neck with one hand to fuse his mouth to mine, and gripped the hardness of him with my other hand. A groan slipped out between our lips and his body shuddered in anticipation.

  “God, Charlotte…”

  He closed his eyes, hands fumbling to drag me even closer, but I shifted, easing out from under him to get on top. I ran my hands down his chest, and followed with my mouth. His heartbeat picked up, thumping beneath my lips. Turned on by his response, I took my time sliding my hands down his torso before I gripped him again.

  His breathing turned ragged, and then yanked in when I took him in my mouth. His fingers twisted in my hair, barely hanging on as I pushed him almost to the brink. When he couldn’t take anymore, he grabbed my shoulders and hauled me up. I straddled him and took him all the way in, throwing my head back at the warmth inside of me.

  Finn’s fingers dug into my hips as he choked out my name. “Charlotte. I can’t—”

  But I didn’t listen, just pressed my hands to his chest and rocked back and forth, watching as he swallowed hard and clasped his hands over mine. He came first, body going taut and fingers squeezing mine before taking me over the edge.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  I jerked awake, my heart racing. Lightning lit up the sky outside, flashing behind the curtains, followed by a long rumble of thunder. I clutched the sheet to my chest, afraid to move for a moment as I scanned the darkened room.

  My eyes adjusted, took in the familiar furniture, the chair in the corner, the dresser, the door to the bathroom. Nothing out of place, no strange shadows lurking.

  I ventured a glance at the clock. 3:03 am. Still nighttime, but still safe in my apartment with Finn. I had to believe that. Curtis, Dustin, and Shane were all looking out for me, and Finn was here.

  He slept soundly beside me, on his stomach with his cheek against the pillow. His brow furrowed, and then smoothed, and I wondered what he was dreaming about.

  Or what I’d dreamed about that woke me. But I couldn’t remember. Maybe it was only the storm.

  Still. I felt uneasy.

  Then I remembered I’d forgotten to take the pills Dr. Palmer gave me. Maybe that was it. I’d been on edge almost every single day, why would tonight be any different? Especially knowing Mark was out there somewhere.

  It wouldn’t hurt to take a pill now. To help me relax. I had the rest of the weekend with Finn, and I didn’t want to ruin it.

  Making sure Finn was still sleeping, I climbed out of bed and found my robe on the chair. Sliding my arms inside, I walked quietly out of the room and barefoot down the hall. Lightning lit the interior of the living room, so bright it felt like the air was charged with electricity.

  The pills sat on the counter where we’d left them. I took one out, grabbed a glass of water, and swallowed it.

  Then, because I was still uneasy, I walked to the other side of the apartment, down the short hallway to the spare room, and then the office to peer inside. Nothing out of place that I could see in the dark.

  I cinched the belt of the robe tighter around my waist and forced myself to check the bathroom as well. Nothing.

  Back in the living room, I walked to the window, staring at the small smattering of lights. The swell of the ocean when lightning flashed again, and the clouds as they illuminated every few moments.

  It seemed as unsettled as I felt.

  I heard a footstep and then a voice.
“Charlotte?”

  I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Finn’s shadow at the edge of the living room. He walked cautiously across the soft rug and closer to me. “Charlotte.”

  “Finn.”

  He touched my shoulders gently. “Are you awake?”

  “Yes.”

  He exhaled and wrapped his arms around me, surprising me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I woke up and you weren’t there,” he said. “I thought you might have been sleepwalking again, and then I saw you standing here. I didn’t want to scare you if I woke you up.”

  “I’m fine,” I whispered, turning my cheek on his chest so I could look out the window. “It was the storm, I guess.”

  “What was the storm?”

  “That woke me. I…” I shook my head. It was nothing. Finn didn’t need to worry.

  He straightened anyway, peering down at my face in the dim lighting. “What happened?”

  “Nothing. Really. I just woke up and I—I don’t know. Maybe it was a dream, or maybe the storm, but it just scared me awake I guess. And then I remembered I forgot to take those pills Dr. Palmer prescribed.”

  “I’ll get you one now—”

  “No, Finn, I already took it. It’s fine.”

  He frowned, easing me away from him. “I’ll take a look around.”

  “I already did.”

  “Charlotte.” He bit off the rest of his response, but his eyes were dark with frustration. “You should go back to the room. I’ll look around.”

  “Finn.” I caught his hand, trying to get him to stop.

  “Come with me then,” he said.

  I followed him from room to room as he checked in closets and behind curtains. Everywhere I hadn’t looked, although I didn’t expect him to find anything. But I kept quiet and let him do what he needed to do, silently kicking myself for not just going back to bed.

  Now we were both wide awake in the middle of the night.

  When we returned to the living room, Finn asked, “You said you took your pill?”

  “Yes. I know I should have taken it before. I—”

  “It’s fine, Charlotte.” He squeezed my fingers between his. “I just want to make sure you feel better later.”

  “I’m sorry. I told you it wasn’t anything. Just a dream probably, or the storm.”

  “Better to be safe than sorry.”

  With a sigh, I turned to face the window again, watching the storm.

  “Something else is bothering you,” Finn said.

  I touched my hand to the glass. It was cool beneath my palm. “Nothing else is bothering me. I’m on edge.”

  I almost added that the only thing that would help at this point was closure. But I knew that conversation wouldn’t go over well with Finn.

  “Maybe I could help,” Finn said, coming up behind me and dropping his chin to my shoulder. “I seem to be very capable of getting you to wind down.”

  A small smile curved my lips. “Yes, you are.”

  His hand dropped down to the waist of my robe and he pulled the material. The belt gave way, falling to the sides, and letting the silk drop open.

  I didn’t have words this time, only a quiet need inside of me to lose myself in Finn. To relish every touch of his hands.

  To surrender.

  I felt him harden behind me as he dipped one hand inside my robe and pressed it flat against my belly.

  “Worrying like this isn’t good for you,” Finn murmured in my ear, making me shiver. “If I can help that, I will.”

  I dropped my head back on his shoulder when his hand found my breast. He wrapped his other arm around me, holding me tight against him, so I could feel every hard line, until every part of me quivered for him.

  When his fingers deftly moved lower, touching between my thighs, I moaned Finn’s name. His breathing was steady in my ear as he murmured words I could hardly make out. Words of love and reassurance. Words of need.

  With smooth and quick hands, Finn released me and gripped my robe to slide it off my shoulders. It pooled on the floor as I turned to face him.

  His eyes made a slow circuit, all the way from my face to my feet, and then back up as I stood exposed before him. Before the window and the storm. Then he removed his pants, drawing my gaze.

  He curved his arms around my back and let his hands venture to my butt. In one swift movement, he hauled me up, my legs wrapped around him and arms fumbling to get a good grip.

  “Hang on,” he murmured.

  I gasped as my entire backside hit the glass, strangely turned on by my naked body smashed against the cool window.

  Finn entered me with startling precision and made my body melt around his.

  He moved at a quick pace, in and out, hips circling against mine, the friction almost too much for me to bear. My back inched up and down the glass, my body entirely his to do what he wanted with.

  “God, I need you,” Finn grunted, breath labored. “Always.”

  “Forever,” I answered, my mouth seeking his.

  He slowed enough to give me a searing kiss, long enough for one of his hands to squeeze my breast and make me close my eyes in pure bliss.

  Then he picked up the speed again, hips slamming against mine in a race to the finish. I could hardly breathe, hardly think, all I knew was I wanted him, all of him. I wanted to go over the edge together and hold on tight as we plunged, shuddering and throbbing with our release.

  “Finn,” I gasped.

  His breath caught, and he made one final plunge, pinning me against the window as he poured into me. And the feel of his body pressed to mine, the firmness of his chest against mine, pushed me over the edge.

  I clung to his neck and buried my face in his shoulder until the world calmed down.

  Finn slowly eased back, his warmth leaving me, and smiled at the noise of disapproval I made. He brushed my loose hair off my cheek.

  “You’re everything to me,” he murmured, eyes dropping to my lips. “You know that, right?”

  “I know. I feel the same.”

  He smoothed his thumb across my cheekbone. “I was a little rough. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You were standing there with this lightning all around you and I could see your outline through your robe. I needed you, but I got caught up.”

  “Finn, it’s…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. A yawn broke free, and I covered my mouth with the back of my hand.

  He grinned. “And I wouldn’t even let you do this in bed. Come on.”

  Before I could move, he scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom, arms strong around my legs and back. Then he set me on the bed and crawled to lean over the top of me. “I feel like I neglected you out there.”

  “Trust me, that’s not how it felt on my end.”

  I started to say something else, but his hands were on me. Everywhere. My shoulders, grazing the sides of my breasts, and down to my hips. He traced the insides of my thighs and kissed my knees.

  My body tingled all over. I wanted him again. More.

  “Finn,” I said, trying to find words. They all jumbled in my mouth when his breath touched my belly.

  He pressed a kiss there, soft like the flicker of butterfly wings. Desire shot straight to my core, making my fingers squeeze the comforter.

  “You like that,” he said, fingers dancing down my sides and kneading my hips.

  I couldn’t even answer because he wouldn’t stop touching me. Every nerve ending came alive under his fingers, his breath, the hardness of him in all the right places.

  “What else?” he asked.

  I rolled to press my body against him, so I could feel him all the way down. And then I took his hand, tracing it down my hip and easing it between my thighs.

  He kissed my cheek and then took my mouth at the same time he plunged two fingers inside of me. My body arched against his. He just squeezed me tighter before working expertly with his fingers, and then adding his thumb in a circle to make
my body sing.

  Heart slamming against my ribs, breath moving in and out like a sob, I let Finn take me to my peak. When it hit me, my whole body quaked, and I wrapped like a vice around him. Arms circling his back, legs circling his waist, holding on for dear life while fireworks of pleasure shot through me.

  When my breathing finally calmed, my body went limp around Finn’s. He rolled to his back and tucked me up against his side, so my head was on his chest. His lips touched my temple.

  “You should rest,” Finn said softly.

  “I’m…” I was going to say I wasn’t tired, but I could already feel the haze of comfort cocooning me.

  “Sleep now.”

  “Wait,” I mumbled. I couldn’t get my eyes open, but I forced myself to find the words. “I thought of…something else for my list.”

  “What?”

  Setting my hand on Finn’s heart, I sighed. “Talk to your mom.”

  The next morning over a late breakfast, Finn revisited the conversation. “I’m not sure how lucid you were last night.”

  I lifted my eyebrows at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you could barely talk.”

  Frowning, I said, “I was talking just fine. It’s not my fault you wore me out.”

  He grinned. “I mean afterward. And, by the way, I really enjoyed wearing you out and plan to do it again every chance I get.”

  “You’d better explain yourself first.”

  I scooped more eggs onto my plate, still hungry from last night, and snagged another piece of bacon. Finn only smiled like he approved. He shifted in his seat to face me, and reached for my hand.

  “Now you’re making me nervous.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t be nervous. You said you wanted to talk to my mom. Do you remember that?”

  I nodded. “Vaguely. It sounded a lot less scary when I was curled up next to you.”

  “Scary?” He laughed. “My mom? Scary?”

  “You know what I mean. She’s…your mom. She’s confident and strong. She hasn’t seen me in years. Years, Finn. It’s not like we’ve built up to this. Last thing she knew, we broke up, and now all the sudden we’re engaged.”