by A. M. Brooks
Oaklynn
This was not the greatest idea I’ve ever had, and I shoot my mom another look of sheer panic, but she keeps driving and my palms grow more and more sweaty. I swear I had to have been half drunk still when she called me on Sunday morning, before my fall break, and asked if I wanted to go on a trip with her. In the past, a trip on my school breaks meant fun places with a beach. To my horror, she handed me a ticket for Minnesota.
“Are you even sure Kelly wants visitors? She is pregnant,” I remind her, trying to find any excuse so maybe she’ll turn the car around.
“Being pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t want to see people. Besides, I missed her first pregnancies. I don’t want to miss this one too now that we’ve reconnected,” Mom argues.
I bite my tongue, even though I think it’s ridiculous. Kelly has about three months left until the baby is born. “Why couldn’t you have waited until there’s actually a baby to see?”
She shoots me a look, like I’m the crazy one, and I shrug my shoulders. “Oak, I miss my friend, okay? You and Ollie are both moving on with your lives and growing up. I have your dad, but I still need to live my life too. Plus, I have, you know...Rogue stuff to keep up on.”
I shutdown immediately. Mom and I haven’t really talked about my break up with Kai, only that it happened. I suspect she knows the reasons; I just haven’t spoken about it out loud. I’ve kept it all pushed down inside, choosing to remain silent about it. For some reason, I felt like if she knew, she might make a good point about why I was wrong.
“You didn’t have to come,” she adds.
I glare at her this time. “I had half a liver still full of vodka when you called. You said trip. I’m very sure you never said trip to Minnesota.”
“Well, we’re here now. Besides, you can see Saylor. Kelly said you girls were going to start talking about wedding stuff. I think she’s hoping to change Saylor’s mind about wanting to go dress shopping.”
I snicker. “Saylor doesn’t want to go dress shopping. She doesn’t even want to get married right away.”
“Why not?” Mom turns to me, almost looking offended.
“They just got engaged. Ciaran just got home. She said they have a lot of work to do with Rogue. Plus, you know Saylor, she likes to take time to plan everything down to the smallest detail. She isn’t throwing together a wedding in a few months, it would be too stressful for her,” I explain.
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Mom agrees, “Kelly is going to be sad. I think she was hoping for a summer wedding next year.”
“Well, if everyone doesn’t back off on it a little, Saylor is going to end up convincing Ciaran to just go to Vegas.”
“They wouldn’t!” My mom laughs lightly. “Okay, I won’t push anything. I’ll see what I can do to calm Kelly down. I’m sure it’s just her hormones.”
“That’s what I told Saylor.” I shrug and lean back in my seat. My gaze turns to the window, just as we’re coming down the hill that is right before the turn into town. The leaves have all turned different colors; shades of yellow, red and orange are spread out like a wildfire. A few are sprinkled across the ground, like the snapping embers from a bonfire. This time of the year always feels magical to me. It’s a time of change and seeing the beauty that comes from shedding the old to welcome the new. Fall has always been my favorite season.
Mom drives through town and I take in all the changes that have been made in the past few years. When we left that summer, half of the buildings in town were rubble, after the bombing of Rogue Auto Repair. Many houses and neighborhoods were also torn apart when they self-detonated in order to protect Rogue, their Targets and the innocent people living in town. The whole city needed repairs and to be rebuilt. Looking at it now, no one would have guessed anything happened.
When we drive past the new repair shop, I can’t stop the butterflies that erupt in my stomach. I keep my eyes facing forward, not wanting to know if anyone is there. I feel Mom watching me, but thankfully, she doesn’t say anything, and before I know it, we’re pulling onto the road where Kelly and Jason live. Kelly steps out onto her front porch when we park in the driveway. One of her hands cradles her belly and the other waves at us.
“Oh my god! You look adorable.” Mom grins and heads right on over, giving Kelly a hug. I take my time, grabbing our suitcases and hauling them over, secretly waiting to see if Silas is home with the guys or if they’re out.
“Uh, I feel like a penguin,” Kelly groans but still smiles, “I forgot how much I’m not a fan of being pregnant.”
“Well. good thing this is your last then.” Mom nudges her and Kelly winks. Gross. I don’t want to think about Kelly and Jason having more babies or my mom insinuating about how babies are made. Hard pass. I’m going to need brain bleach now that the thought even occurred to me.
“Everyone is still working,” Kelly says while she leads us inside. “The guys were loading up new equipment before heading to Rogue and Saylor is still at the office.”
I instantly relax, knowing I’m not in immediate danger, although I do wish Saylor was on her way home. I’m extra paranoid about anyone showing up here and letting Kai know I’m here. I already swore Saylor to secrecy, but she did warn me that Matt and Jason already knew. It was only a matter of time before everyone found out and there would be no peace after that.
After we get a tour of the house and see the new baby’s room, Kelly insists we go into town to eat, and that Saylor can meet us for dinner. I practically run for the car, desperate to get out of the house to avoid any situation where Kai might pop up. We head for town and pull into the parking lot of Savage Lakes’ one family restaurant. I follow them to the door before I realize I left my phone in the car and I feel naked without it.
“Go ahead,” I tell them, and Mom tosses me the key fob. I walk quickly down the sidewalk, keeping my eyes peeled. My stomach starts to tighten, and my blood hums. My legs move faster, but I’m not quick enough. Right as my hand opens the car door, it’s slammed closed again.
My gaze jumps up, clashing with Kai’s. His dark eyes regard me with humor, possession and an intensity that has fire curling in my stomach. My body becomes liquid and I have to lean against the car to hold me up, while my heart goes crazy. It’s been four years. He shouldn’t affect me this much. We broke each other. I left my fragmented pieces all over the beach that day, not caring if I was ever whole again. I forced myself to survive without Kai and now here he is. Taller, broader, and darker. His usual long locks are now sheered close to his head on the sides, with only a little length on the top. His jaw is even more prominent on his face, and I see the muscles flex while he towers over me, caging me against the car with his body. I use my free hand to try and put a little distance between us, but it’s useless. All I get in return is a cocky smirk.
I roll my eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Saying hi.” His brow rises and I notice the silver ring that was not there four years ago. “Welcome back.”
I frown at his choice of words, which only seems to instigate him further. Kai pushes into me until his entire front is now pinning me to the car. I can feel the metal frame digging into my shoulder blades, but I’m determined not to yield. “Just stopping in for a visit. I’m not staying.”
Fire dances in his gaze, as his smirk taunts me. “Of course you aren’t staying. Because that would be taking a risk and we both know you like to play it safe.”
“Excuse me?” I manage to push up into his space, forcing him back just a little. “If that’s how you remember things going between us then it’s no wonder we didn’t work out.”
‘Work out?” He sneers, his face dipping down to look at me. “You couldn’t even give me a chance to try and solve the problems between us before you decided things wouldn’t work out.”
My chest rises and falls with his words, anger bristling in my chest. “Whatever,” I mumble, completely aware how lame of a comeback it is, but I can’t help it. Kai completely stunned me
.
He laughs, his head tipping back, and my stare lands on the long column of his throat. My fingers itch to wrap themselves around the back of his neck, like they used to, and pull him down to my lips. The thought is completely absurd, and I waver, back and forth on my tiptoes. Kai glances down and whatever he sees on my face, he locks in. I can tell he wants to say more, probably call me out again, and my chest squeezes in anticipation. When a car horn goes off close to us, we jump apart, as if we’ve been caught in a scandalous position.
My face feels hot and I can’t make eye contact with him. I hear Kai sigh and his head rolls back on his shoulders like it does when he’s frustrated. I lean forward, refusing to look anywhere else but at the ground. He pushes off the car and shuffles his feet back. The farther away he moves, the colder my body gets. My fingers dig into the front of the jacket I’m wearing, and pull it tighter, using it as a shield to protect myself.
“I’ll see you soon, Oak.” His voice sends shivers down my spine. “You can count on it.”
Kai
My knee bounces over and over while we wait for Jason and Matt to show up. I arrived back in Minnesota a day before Oaklynn, trying not to make it obvious that I took a detour on my way home from being discharged. Silas and Kai had about reached their limit when Jason kept inquiring about what was taking me so long. Thankfully, they took pity on me and were able to cover my ass. As soon as Oaklynn got the call from her mom about visiting, I knew I was ready to go home as well.
“Did they say they were on their way?” I ask again, and Ciaran glares at me this time.
“They were coming here right from the baby shower,” Silas repeats again, and I nod.
We’re all on edge. It’s finally our day. Since we were eight years old, all we have talked about is our plans for the future and all the difference in the world we can make once it’s our turn to run Rogue. We worked our way up, made connections, completed our military training and now we’re back. Once we pass our idea on to Matt and Jason then we get another year of extensive Rogue training before the reins are handed to us completely. We’ll be choosing the runs, the Targets and working with a private unit to end human trafficking.
“Don’t you think it seems weird that time works backwards in Rogue?” I ask, with my thoughts jumping around.
“Alright,” Ci sighs, “I’ll bite. What are you talking about?”
I laugh. “I just mean look at Matt and Erika, Jason and Kelly. Their youth was all work and Rogue. Now that they’re essentially semi-retiring, they’re finally doing things they should have done at our age. Getting married, having a kid, that kind of thing.”
“Well, my dad and Kelly did have kids at my age,” Silas points out.
“Exactly,” Ci agrees, “Matt and Erika also got married. Then separated and now I’m not sure what they’re doing exactly.”
“I thought Matt planned to move with Erika. Help with the financial and benefit earning end of the business,” I ask.
Ci shrugs. “One day he is and the next, they’re fighting over which car is more feasible to own and then he’s staying here.”
I shake my head, a smile on my lips. I think Erika can try and take the boy out of Minnesota, but can’t take Minnesota out of the boy. The feeling is sadly an echo of my own life. I just had to fall in love with a girl from New York. My knee starts bouncing again just thinking about it.
A few more minutes pass before Matt, Jason and Saylor walk through the door, looking slightly frazzled.
“How was the shower?” Ci asks, his brow immediately rising when he sees Saylor upset. Silas shifts in his seat as well.
“Lots of baby stuff. And lots of questions,” she answers, throwing a dirty look at her dad.
Jason holds up his hands. “Hey, I’m sorry. If people keep grilling me about name choices, I’m going to spill the secret, then your mom will kill me. It was easier to deter the attention to you.”
Saylor sighs and smacks him in the shoulder. Ci grins and I can see the calculating look in his eye. “I take it none of the ladies were happy to hear about the date you picked?”
“You picked a date?” I ask, my eyes bouncing between them excitedly. “When?”
Saylor glances from Ci to me, then clears her throat. “December 4th.”
“That’s in like a month.” I blanch.
Ciaran laughs and Saylor shoots him a death glare. “Oh no, December 4, 2024.”
“That’s…”
“Three years from now. She wants me to wait three years,” Ci finishes.
“One would think you’re the girl in this relationship, Ciaran,” Saylor huffs, her arms crossing over her chest. “You guys all seem to forget how busy the next few years are going to be for us. I’m finishing my counseling license, Lux isn’t even home yet, and you still have to implement all your new ideas for Rogue, after you complete a yearlong training. All of that is going to take time. Planning a wedding also takes time. As long as I have this ring on my finger, it shouldn’t matter how long. I’m already committed, so why does it matter?”
“Because he’s a possessive asshole,” Silas calls out. Ciaran throws his pen at Silas’ head, but he ducks just in time, before reaching over to high-five Saylor.
“I hate to say it, bro, but she has a point,” I agree with Saylor, while trying to keep my voice diplomatic.
Ciaran is about to argue when Matt jumps in, “Can we move on to discuss this plan of yours? I promised Erika I would look at apartments tonight.”
“Can we even do this without Lux?” Jason asks, glancing at his son.
“She created the slideshow. Trust me, none of us are that creative. She knows the plan and is committed.”
“Alright,” Matt sits, “walk us through it.”
And we do. We spend the next two hours breaking down every new idea into its simplest form to prove there are no holes or flaws in our plan. After the attack four years ago, we learned valuable lessons and hard truths and since then, we’ve only been thinking about how to make Rogue stronger. In the past, the idea had always been expansion. Making Rogue larger. Today, our idea focuses on strength and building up our defenses, so we are impenetrable. By doing this, eventually someday, we will also grow. When Silas first drafted the plan, it felt like we were moving backward and not progressing. Saylor and Lux pointed out that without security, there is no trust. If we want companies, agencies, and individuals to trust us, we have to be able to provide the security they need. Four years ago, we had the biggest breech in Rogue history. In hindsight, it is easy to see that in the race to grow our numbers, certain aspects, such as in-depth vetting of employees, wasn’t happening. No one was able to check in more frequently with our Targets or the houses because we lacked the manpower.
By the time the PowerPoint ends, Matt is reclined in his seat, looking thoughtful, and I swear I see Jason flick a tear off his cheek. I can feel the pride in the room and the bittersweet feeling of change. Matt worked his entire life to keep his family’s legacy going. I never want him to leave fully and I can’t imagine he actually will. Rogue is Matt and Matt is Rogue, for better or worse. Rogue is also all I’ve known. I choose not to remember my childhood and the sadness I lived in. To me, life started when me and my mom moved here.
“I’ve watched you three grow up together. When things were hard, you supported each other, even when you were being idiots,” he glances at Saylor, who gives a watery chuckle, “acting with your hearts rather than using your brains, none of you wavered. Your friendship has survived some of the hardest struggles in life. Time, change, loss, love and witnessing some of the world’s ugliest truths. Still, you remain friends, brothers, and supporters of our cause.” Matt and Jason glance at each other, and I feel myself holding my breath.
Jason slaps an envelope down on the table. Ciaran hesitates for only a second before picking it up. He opens it and smiles. We gather behind him and read the paperwork that grants the business to us.
“I didn’t change the title of the company n
ame,” Matt says, with hesitancy in his voice, “if you want to change it, we can fix the paperwork.”
“We’re Rogue, Matt,” Silas answers right away. I nod and so do Ci and Saylor.
My eyes look at the paperwork again. My full name is printed on the document next to my best friends. Rogue is ours. It’s our time. Finally.
Oaklynn
I am just full of bad ideas lately. Each decision I make these days seems to have dire consequences attached to them. I never should have left New York. I don’t know what I was trying to prove by joining my mom in Minnesota.
After Kai cornered me against the car the other night, my heart hasn’t beat regularly, and I keep feeling as if I’m anticipating our next encounter. My mind is continuously searching for reasons to see him, even when I know it’s dangerous. It took me a long time to piece myself back together after that summer. I went from being a girl head-over-heels, unicorns and butterflies, glitter everywhere, to feeling cynical, uptight, and generally sick of most of the people I met. Eventually, my only choice was to fake it. Fake that I was in control and leading the life others would be jealous of having.
Just a few days here in Minnesota and my whole world has flipped. And the worrisome part about it is that I am excited. So again, not making the best choices. Which is how I somehow end up agreeing to help my mom bring the serving dishes back to the home they were borrowed from. The minute we step through the front door, and my eyes land on the family portrait, I realize I made another really bad decision. I am in Kai’s home. It is Kai’s mother who is wrapping her arms around me in greeting.
My eyes widen and I look to my mom for help. The knowing glint in her eyes has me thinking she knew; she might have even planned this.
“I’m so glad you made it, Val! And Oaklynn, it’s so nice to meet you,” she gushes.
“It’s been too long, Alice.” My mom nods and keeps one hand wrapped around the woman’s slim shoulder.
