Honorable Disgrace

by Stephanie N. Pitman

  Vacating the bench, I watched Bridget smugly slide more weight onto the barbell. Purposefully refusing to look at Bridget’s press, knowing she was going to cream me, I looked to JJ as she prepared to attempt her squat of 280 pounds.

  Cory’s breath tickled my lobe. “Nice.”

  Ducking my head to the side, I rubbed at my earlobe with a smile, the warm glow I had over being awarded full marks for my lift swelled at his praise, the light pressure of his hand on my shoulder further buoying my mood. I half turned toward him. “Thanks.”

  JJ’s name was called as points were awarded to her for the commencement of her lift. I clapped and cheered, keenly feeling the loss of the comfortable weight of Cory’s hand when he applauded.

  My final lift—the deadlift—went as planned, though I did have a bit of a hitch when I initially picked up the bar. I sank to the mat, sucking on my water bottle in earnest. I bestowed a few high fives to the proffered hands shoved in my face, aware of Cory’s appraising, almost surprised glance as if he wasn’t sure what to make of me.

  “Angie, you were unbelievable. I had no idea you could lift so much. You were holding out on us during practice.”

  JJ bounded over, a humongous grin splitting her lightly freckled face. “I about fainted when you started to lift it, thinking you were for sure going to break your back. But you did it. ”

  “What are you talking about? I lift that all the time.”

  “The deadlift?” JJ watched me carefully. “No. You just lifted 380 pounds.”

  “What? No, I didn’t.” I scrunched up my face, looking at the bar at Bridget’s feet. “She just added weight.”

  “No, she didn’t.” JJ eyed me. “That’s what you lifted.”

  “I lifted that?” I gasped.

  JJ nodded. “You sure did.”

  “I thought I only had 360 pounds on there.”

  “Nope,” JJ said, popping the ‘p.’ “Three-eighty.”

  Mouthing ‘three-eighty,’ the room spun and I blinked as I listened to the ref announce the results.

  “The win goes to Angela Adams from Coulee, Bridget Miles from Chelsea Falls coming in second followed by JJ Jones and then Liz Samuels, both from Coulee. A remarkable show from the girls, let’s give them a round of applause.” The ref paused a moment to allow for the applause, and then continued. “Alright, now we will commence with the boys part of the competition, starting with the lightweights.”

  I was in shock over my lift and my win didn’t completely register. I accepted the cheers, praise, and applause with a duck of my head and a reddening of my cheeks.

  There was a rustle of movement at the ref’s call, and a disorderly mass of purple and green clad boys congregated up front. Only the smallest and largest boys remained on the mats. Cory’s group was last, the super heavy weights, or SHW for short.

  “Angie,” Cory spoke close to my ear. He’d moved right next to me, his thigh practically touching mine. “That was some impressive lifting. Better than a lot of guys.”

  I tucked my hair behind my ear, my lashes fluttering. “Do you really think so?”

  He enveloped my hand with his long fingers, his mouth slightly open, his pupils dilated as he made eye contact. “Yes, I do.”

  Without warning he kissed me. It was a quick, simple kiss, but the same electricity from our first kiss passed through me. All coherent thought fled. I barely dared to breathe. When it was over, I turned my palm slightly and entwined our fingers. His muscular grip tightened.

  JJ bumped me with her elbow, a meaningful smirk on her lips. I beamed in response, eyes aimed at the match, even though I couldn’t focus on it. Hyperaware of Cory beside me, I twitched when Cory rose to his feet, squeezing my hand before he let go.

  “Good luck, Cory.”

  Admiring his confident swagger to the platform, a smile played on my lips while I relived the memory of his nearness, his kiss, the feel of my hand in his, and watched him lower into a deep squat.

  Chapter Eight

  JJ and I were rounding the corner into the cafeteria when I practically collided with Cory.

  “Sorry.” His hands reached out to steady me, his warm smile as usual causing my stomach to flip even though he’d been flashing it at me all morning. He fell into step with us as we continued to the cafeteria. “Angie, I was looking for you.”

  “For me?”

  “Yeah, I was going to run into town for lunch. You want to come?”

  “Umm, well …” JJ was ahead of us. I could tell by the tilt of her head she was smiling. Would she be mad if I went without her?

  “JJ can come, too,” he said, reading into my hesitation.

  But did I really want JJ to come?

  “Nah, you guys go ahead. I’ve got stuff to do.” JJ waved us off.

  It was a lie. We both knew it, but I didn’t call her on it. I slowly exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and returned her smile. She waved then disappeared in the converging lunch lines.

  A few straggling students skirted around us as they made their way to lunch. My pulse quickened, blood racing through my veins like a freight train in the night. I was going to be alone with Cory.

  “Come on, I parked out this way.” Cory beckoned with a tilt of his head toward the gym parking lot.

  I stood rooted to the spot, and before I could recover, he’d disappeared around the corner. I ran to catch up. At first I felt awkward, but then it seemed the most natural thing in the world to fall into step beside him as we went outside. I was walking close enough that, though we didn’t speak, I could feel his warmth against my side, the brush of his bare arm against mine. He looked down at me, a half smile playing on his lips.

  We approached his Jeep, an ’03 Wrangler, the black hard top, oversized knobby tires, and six-inch lift giving it a rigorous bad-boy look. The brilliant amethyst blue sparkled in the sunlight, so like Cory’s playful blue eyes.

  “You coming?”

  Cory opened the passenger door and I felt like I might melt into the parking lot. I loved his Jeep.

  He took my hand and helped me scramble in. I took a breath and held it, a warm candle-like glow spreading through me. The tan interior was surprisingly clean, the only clutter a stinky heap of football gear tossed carelessly on the back seat. Most Jeeps I’d been in were dust traps. Had he just cleaned it, or did he always keep it so clean? He opened his door and hopped in with an athletic bound, grinning broadly.

  I returned the grin but dropped my head, my hair cascading down like an auburn curtain, obscuring my face as I secured my seatbelt.

  Cory stuck his key in the ignition, the Jeep coming to life with a throaty growl. He leaned over me and unrolled the passenger window. “Controls are broken on my side for this window.”

  His warmth and nearness enveloped me, his clean spicy scent assailing my senses, my cheeks growing warm.

  He sat back and laugh lines appeared around his eyes. “I like it when you do that.”

  “Do what?”

  He brushed the back of his finger down my cheek, thrills coursing through me, my cheeks now feeling like glowing red-hot coals. “Yes, that.”

  His laugh was husky and shivers flowed down my spine. He backed out of the tight parking space and peeled out, the crunch of gravel churning under the tires. I flung my arms out to grab the oh-crap-handle and hung on with a white knuckled grip. “Wow,” I exclaimed.

  Cory slowed down with a chuckle. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “Sure you didn’t.” I laughed good-naturedly.

  “Caught me.”

  He concentrated on the long line of traffic, students escaping campus for lunch. I took advantage of his inattentiveness on me to study his angular profile. The details of his face, the lines around his mouth and eyes, the slight indentation where his dimples showed when he smiled, his reddish-blonde hair brushing his brows. My smile faltered and I began to fidget and scrape at the pink polish on my thumbnail. When Cory turned onto the highway behind a sedan, win
d blew through the cab, whipping my hair around. Pulling it away from my face, I leaned back on it, the breeze blowing over Cory’s sweaty gear in the back, the stench overpowering all the fresh air in the cab.

  “Ugh, you stink,” I teased and covered my nose.

  Cory scrunched up his face. “What do you expect? A couple hours practice in that, I’m gonna stink.” He laughed again, that pleasing husky laugh, as he rolled his window all the way down. “A bit more natural Febreeze ought to do the trick.”

  “Have you tried washing them?” I asked, trying to keep a straight face.

  “I find washing things overrated,” he said dryly, resting his hand on the back of my seat. His expression was now devoid of humor, though a twinkle of mischief sparked in his eyes.

  “Oh, you’re hilarious.”

  Then without warning he attacked, his hand springing off the back of my seat, his fingers on my side, tickling me mercilessly with one hand while he somehow managed to stay on the road. “I’m hilarious, huh?”

  “Watch the road, watch the road!” I squealed and released my seatbelt, trying to squirm out of his reach only to slip off the seat. My giggles stopped abruptly. His eyes widened and then he choked, spluttering, laughter ringing out. My face hot with embarrassment, I succumbed to his infectious chortling, and hoisted myself back onto the seat.

  Too soon our merriment quieted and silence descended.

  The piano interlude to Christina Perri’s A Thousand Years came on and I started to sing along without thinking, the emotion the words of the song evoked matching mine about Cory. “Heart beats fast, colors and promises, how to be brave … oh, sorry.”

  My hand flew to cover my mouth.

  “Don’t stop. You have a beautiful voice.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled, then pressed my lips together, twisting my hands in my lap. His praise made me even more self-conscious and I cast around for something to talk about, and seized on the first thought I had. “So, how’s school going for you?”

  Really, that’s my big question? I wanted to smack myself. The weather would have been a better choice. Why not, how’s football? Or last night’s competition? But no, I choose ‘how’s school?’ Brilliant.

  “School? Uh, it’s okay. My parents are busting my chops right now though.” He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “It’s only a few weeks in and I’m failing English. I hate English. And now they’re threatening to bench me if I don’t pull my grade up. It sucks.”

  “No way, they can’t do that. I’d have absolutely no reason to come to the games.”

  “Oh, you’d have no reason to go the game if I wasn’t playing, huh?” Cory’s chuckle was deep and throaty.

  I shrugged, coloring deeply at the delicious sound of his amusement.

  “Coach Harrington about had a coronary when they told him,” Cory continued, tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. “He’s making me get a tutor. Mr. Perry gave me a list of the A students to choose from.”

  I was an A student. Was he going to ask me? Was that why he’d asked me along?

  Cory immediately changed the subject. “So, I heard a rumor.”

  “Oh?” I swallowed. I liked this new direction in the conversation even less. “Is this rumor about anyone I know?”

  “Mm-hmm. You.”

  “Me?” I asked lightly, even as my stomach flip-flopped, feeling like there was a pair of acrobats twisting around in there. What had he heard?

  “Yes, you. I wanted to ask you about it last night, but never got the chance.” His tone was both curious and admiring.

  “You know, my mom warned me not to gossip.”

  Ignoring my cheek, Cory carried on. “Did you really break Liz Samuels nose?”

  “I wish.” I laughed, but added quickly when the corners of his mouth sagged. “Not to burst your bad girl image of me, but that was JJ. I did break them up. JJ threw her lunch and a punch at Liz, but there’s no way her nose broke.”

  He stopped at a red light and half turned toward me. “Aren’t you guys friends?”

  “We were. Until she decided to …” I stopped abruptly, the realization I was about to tell him about my ex and Liz making my gut twist. I didn’t want to tell him that.

  “I heard what she did to you. That’s pretty crappy.”

  “You heard about … about Liz and my ex? How? Alan doesn’t even go to our school.”

  He shrugged. “Rumors get around.”

  “You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.” I shook my head, the thought of this particular rumor getting to his ears very unsettling.

  Cory accelerated at the green light. “So, Liz didn’t steal your boyfriend?”

  “No, uh, I mean, yeah. Not really. I was going to break up with him.”

  Cory nodded and we both stared out the windshield for a moment.

  “I don’t think you are, you know, what Liz claims,” Cory said hastily, turning into the parking lot of one of the few fast food restaurants in our small town, their golden arches casting a shadow over the Jeep. “That’s why I thought you were the one to hit her. You don’t take crap from anyone.”

  I winced and closed my eyes. I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not. “Let’s just forget it. How about that lunch, huh?”

  “Yeah, of course. Wait a sec. Let me open your door.”

  I bit my lip while he came around to my side. It was weird how gentlemanly he was being. None of my other boyfriends had been anything like this. Boyfriend? Whoa, girl, don’t get ahead of yourself. Once out of the Jeep I smoothed my clothes.

  “I’m sorry I brought it up.” He put his hand on the small of my back. “I was curious. Trying to figure you out.”

  I leaned back into his hand. Reluctant to speak, but unwilling to let him feel guilty any longer, I looked at him. “It’s okay. Actually, I’m glad you did. It cleared the air, you know?”

  His small smile told me it worked. In spite of my misgivings, the corners of my mouth curved up.

  We were one person from the register when he draped his arm around my shoulder, drawing me to him. He made a grand gesture toward the menu as though he were showcasing it, his tone playful. “Alright, sky’s the limit. Order whatever you like.”

  “Ooh, big spender.” I bumped him with my shoulder lightly. “Pretty fancy place.”

  “Only the best for m’lady.”

  “This is your best? Hate to see your worst.”

  “What can I get you?” The slightly overweight girl on the other side of the counter interrupted our laughter in a monotone, smacking her gum. She drummed her fingers on the side of the register, and smacked again.

  “Can you give me a second?” I asked. I’d been so involved in my musings I hadn’t even thought about what I wanted to eat.

  “Okay.”

  She turned to Cory, her gaze avid and her tone sickeningly sweet. “What about you, hon?”

  Cory rattled off his order. Amazed at the sheer quantity of food Cory ordered, I settled on a grilled chicken sandwich. We moved off to wait for our food at a table overlooking the main road. Cars lined up at the light, loaded with kids from Coulee. I silently watched them when Cory left to get our food.

  “Awwnt yoo goon teat?” Cory’s mouth was full of burger.

  I nodded and picked up my sandwich. Trying not to look like a pig, I took a small bite, but failed miserably. Ranch clung to the corner of my mouth. I dabbed at it and bit into the chicken from a different angle, but a glop of sauce fell into my lap.

  I sighed and set my sandwich down then swiped at the dressing stain with my napkin, thankful Cory was too intent on his food to notice. Already finishing his third burger, he unwrapped another, consuming this one at a slightly slower pace. Replete, Cory leaned back, his head supported in his linked fingers, and regarded me.

  “What?” A squirmy feeling twisted my insides under his direct gaze.

  Pushing forward, he set his hand on top of mine, stopping my fiddling, and turned it over. He traced the
lines of my palms with his long fingers. I held my breath and wondered if he could feel my frantic pulse.

  A nervous smile twitched on his lips. “I’m just glad you came with me.”

  I bit my lip. “Me, too. Thanks, Cory, for inviting me.”

  “Of course. I do have something to ask you …”

  I looked at him expectantly and smiled.

  He took a deep breath and continued, “Would you mind helping me some time with my English?”

  “Sure.” There it was. Just like I’d thought.

  “That’s not why I asked you to come with me though,” he hurriedly added as though reading my mind.

  I smiled and nodded.

  Done with my sandwich, I stood to gather our garbage. I stopped when his hands covered mine and he took the tray from me. “I’ll get that. This is my treat.”

  Pitching the trash, he returned to claim my hand, firmly grasping it. We walked slowly back to the Jeep, in no hurry to get back to the hum-drum of school. Again, he helped me into the Jeep.

  The edges of his mouth quirked up and then down as he climbed in, gripping the wheel tightly with his strong hands. “Angie … I … I really like you.”

  “Oh.” It came out weakly, like an exhale. That was not at all what I expected. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Had I heard right? He likes me. Wow, he likes me and I said ‘oh’. “You like me? Why?”

  Great, that’s even better.

  He laughed loudly like I’d said something genuinely funny instead of horribly stupid. “Why? Because of things like that—you say exactly what you’re feeling. And you’re funny, kind, surprisingly strong, beautiful, and smart. I don’t know anybody like you and I can’t stop thinking about you.” He rubbed his neck, his face taking on a pinkish hue.

  How was it possible he felt the same about me as I did about him? I wanted to throw my arms around him, but instead I fumbled for words. “Wow. Cory, I …”

  Cory stared at me, his expression keen. And then he pressed his lips to mine.