Sinners & Saints (Sinners & Saints #1)

by Ballinger, Chelsea

  Jane smiles at all of us along with Rebecca who stands close to Scarlett. Ugh, I hope the poor girl doesn’t look up to her. Rebecca’s eyes drift down the hallway. Hugo appears and she is immediately smitten. Her mouth drops and her eyes practically pop out of her skull.

  “Oh and this is Hugo Mandrake.”

  “Hugo.” Daphne raises her nose and chin up at him. Obviously bad blood there.

  “Daphne.” Hugo doesn’t give her much energy, which surprises Scarlett, who is glaring at him in shock.

  “Shall we all go to the dining room?” Ms. Eleanor leads the way and everyone follows except Scarlett and Hugo as she grabs his wrist.

  “I called you,” she says to him. “I needed you. You know how my mother makes me feel.” She looks at me and so does he.

  “Sorry,” I say. I really am. For the first time I see Scarlett vulnerable and I sort of feel sorry for her.

  She lets go of Hugo as Patrick comes back out to the foyer.

  “Are you guys joining us?”

  Scarlett flashes a smile. “Of course.” She walks past me, throwing a look.

  CODY

  My body has never conceived this much sweat before. I’m so glad I wore a white undershirt under my light blue dress shirt. The undershirt is practically glued to my body. I’m still staring at the menu, avoiding eye contact from my date across the table. I brought Anika to the Eleven Madison Park. I figured that’s what you do. Take dates to an expensive and upscale restaurant. I couldn’t ask Hugo this. He’s never been on a date. I want to do it right with Anika.

  “So, what do you suggest?” My eyes peer up from the menu to her. She has on a nice yellow and green sundress. It’s tastefully low cut and I’ve been avoiding on not looking down and staring too long at her cleavage. Dates are stressful. You have to focus not only on being charming but also on not being too much of a guy that’s obviously imagining having sex with you.

  “Uh… um…” I look down at the menu. I’ve eaten here once and I can’t remember what it was. “No,” I laugh nervously.

  The waiter comes to us.

  “Two glasses of Godello, Mr. Nichols.” He pours us two glasses of the wine I ordered.

  Anika, looking confused, leans in and whispers once the waiter leaves, “I’m not twenty-one and neither are you.”

  “I have a fake ID. Jordana gave it to me as a gift for my birthday last year. I rarely use it and my parents come here all the time so…” I shrug.

  She squints her eyes at me, placing her menu down and grabbing her drink. “Your parents are really nice. Well, when you guys would come and eat there.”

  I laugh a little. “Yeah, they’re pretty cool.”

  “It’s always nice to see black people doing good in life.”

  “It is. Mostly white people surround me, so it is refreshing when I find my people. Even then, though, I don’t really fit in.” I say the last part before thinking.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing,” I brush it off. “So, you go to Columbia?”

  “Yeah,” she answers after tasting her wine. Her eyes light up and that smile is back.

  “What are you studying?”

  “Criminal justice.”

  Impressive.

  “You’ve never seen Hugo Mandrake or Poppy Montgomery?”

  “Hugo was the other guy with you guys, right?” she asks before answering. “No, I’ve never seen him, but that Poppy girl—the girl in the pink—I have. We actually had a class together. She always seems like she’s in a daze so she probably wouldn’t know me.”

  I laugh. “She doesn’t and, knowing Poppy, yeah that’s the reason why.”

  “What about you?” she asks before taking another sip of wine. “What do you study at Princeton?”

  “Economics.”

  “What do you plan on doing after getting your degree?”

  “I want to get my masters in medicine. Hopefully one day work with my father in the pharmaceutical company.”

  “What made you want to do it?” No one may believe me, but nobody has ever asked me that question. Everyone just assumes I’m just doing what my parents want me to do.

  “My whole life… I wanted to do what my parents did. I mean, yeah they have my life planned out for me, but career-wise we’ve always been on the same page. I’ve loved econ since high school. I’ve loved medicine forever.”

  “Why not become a doctor like your mom?”

  I smile, sitting back in my chair. I’m more relaxed now. “The sight of blood makes me nauseas.”

  She giggles. A moment passes through with us just staring at each other. I like the way she looks at me. I’ve always felt that people saw me one way my whole life. Through her brown eyes, I can see that there is a possibility that she could see many layers. I’m not difficult or complex, but there is more to me. More than I even know. Maybe I could figure it out through Anika?

  “Are you ready to order, Mr. Nichols?” the waiter asks us. I look at her to make sure and grinning widely she nods yes.

  SCARLETT

  Dinner is quiet. Everyone is focused on the meal. Duck. Patrick and I sit next to each other. My mother next to me. Jane and Rebecca on his side. Poppy, Jordana, and Juliet, across from us. Ms. Eleanor at the head of the table near my mother and Hugo at the end of the table near Juliet. I’m noticing Rebecca staring at him between bites. Of course, but he doesn’t even entertain it. He just focuses on his meal and when I think he’s a complete zombie, he looks to her. She looks to him back and I almost drop my fork.

  “Scarlett dear, you should probably stay away from the bread,” my mother says referring to the roll on my plate.

  “Daphne, I see Dr. Coleson is living up to his reputation. You can barely see the wrinkles now.” Everyone almost chokes on their food due to Hugo’s comment. He looks at me and nods his head. He’s letting me know he’s still got my back. Thank you.

  “Oh, Hugo, always the charmer.”

  He raises his glass to her before drinking.

  “So, you go to Columbia?” Rebecca asks. “I want to go there someday.” Her eyes practically sparkle once Hugo looks at her.

  “Since when?” Jane looks at her.

  “Since now.” Patrick chuckles and Rebecca glares at him. She smiles back at Hugo.

  “I like your eyes, by the way. The one blue, one green—it’s really cool on you.”

  Hugo has this annoying look on his face. He’s about to insult her. He glances at Juliet who narrows her eyes at him.

  “Thank you… Rebecca.” He forces it out. “That’s very nice of you.”

  Rebecca giggles and blushes once he smirks at her.

  What the fuck is this shit?

  “Juliet,” my mother gets her attention. “Are you enjoying yourself here?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Dear, I heard your father had a heart attack, how is he?” Jane asks.

  “He’s better. He’s going to be okay.”

  “Your mother’s family is Northstrand?” My mother’s eyes light up.

  “Yes.”

  “Their reputation precedes them.” I’ve done some business with your uncle.”

  Juliet just smiles as my mother continues.

  “I took over my late husband’s shares and business when he died.”

  “Connor’s death was a great shock to us all, Daphne,” Ms. Eleanor says.

  “Yes, it was.” My mother smirks to herself. It wasn’t a shock to her. In fact, she prayed for his death.

  I glance back at Hugo and Juliet whose gazes linger a little too long. She has her hands folded on the table until she takes the right and reaches below. He has his right hand in view but his left one under the table. They’re holding hands. They’re staring at each other like they’re together. Like they’re… in love.

  HUGO

  “What the hell has gotten into you?” Scarlett furiously whispers to me upstairs in the hallway. “You have been in a fucking haze this whole night. You have been hesitant and di
stracted and it’s all because of her!”

  “Scarlett,” I look around before continuing. “Calm down.”

  “No, I won’t calm down.”

  “Scarlett, I don’t have time for this. I’m tired.”

  “Of course you’re tired. It’s because of her; she’s got you mind fucked and you are blatantly letting her. Hand holding at the table?”

  “So what?!” My whisper is louder than hers. “So what? You have a fiancé, you are going to get married and have everything you have ever wanted. Why do my affairs matter to you?”

  She places her hand on my face. “Because no matter who I marry, who I fuck, you are the one. Always have been. No one has ever understood me the way that you do… not even Gabriel.”

  She leans up and presses her lips against mine and quickly her hunger takes over as she opens her mouth, sliding her tongue into mine, pulling my hair and pressing her body against me. I do the same, but still I feel nothing but pain and I’m just over it. Honestly, I am turned off and disgusted in her begging behavior right now. She stops and presses her forehead against mine and opens her eyes, staring at me. “Nevertheless, thank you for coming to my defense.”

  “Of course.” I genuinely meant it when I came to her defense. Her mother is a bitch and the reason why Scarlett is the way she is.

  “You never told me what happened with Kelly?”

  I care for Scarlett, I do. I always will, but this. This is where the connection gets clouded.

  I sigh and answer, “She confronted me. She was upset of course.”

  “Did she cry?” She smiles at the thought of Kelly’s tears and for the first time it makes me sick, literally.

  “Yes,” I painfully admit.

  “What about your dad?”

  “He has not come in contact with me. I’m not shocked.”

  “He must be devastated. The son he loathes took something of his.”

  I say nothing.

  “I could come back tonight,” she suggests. “I’m very angry at you, but I still would like to enjoy some time with you. Patrick and his mother are going out tonight to handle some last minute deals before the upcoming Century Ball.”

  Brushing the blonde lock from her beautiful face, I give her the truth. “I think you should stay home… the home you have with your fiancé.”

  Her eyes burn into me and she sees it. She sees it before I can even admit it. She shoves me away from her and stomps off in her heels. Her feelings are hurt. She’s humiliated. I have never rejected her. Never. I feel like a dick, but a dick that unfortunately did the right thing.

  SCARLETT

  I head downstairs to the foyer to see my mother smiling at Juliet and even kissing her on the cheek. “You are a such a lovely gem, Juliet.”

  “Thank you.”

  My mother looks at me and that soft smile turns into a cold frown. “Hurry up. Patrick is waiting on you.”

  She walks out and I approach Juliet.

  “Stay away from Hugo.”

  She grins at me. “That should be quite hard, seeing that I live in the same vicinity as him.”

  I snicker. “You really think you have something here. Hugo is never satisfied, unless it’s me of course. You will only make him worse. He will realize how much of a waste you are and throw you away like everyone else. It is his nature.”

  “For someone who is very confident in Hugo’s nature, as you call it, you sure are wasting a lot of time telling me this. Are you scared that, for the first time, someone could actually love Hugo better than you?”

  “Can you? Are you really up for the challenge?”

  “Oops there’s another contradiction. Thought you didn’t do love?” Fucking bitch. “And yes, I can… I do.” She says the last part with conviction. “You shaped Hugo into this copy of his dead brother so you could have a new toy to play with. You love the idea of things, not the person. You love the idea of Patrick and his status and wealth. You love the idea of men like Hugo, his brother, and Chad who could be down to your level and revel in it with you, but you’ve known all along that Hugo’s nature is more than you led him to think. Maybe all the men you’ve come across have.”

  “You are such a silly, bright-eyed girl. Of course I love it. It’s not an idea. It is my reality. Men fall on their knees for me. I revel in that. People are so blinded by this vanity or their idealistic views, they don’t know how to combine the two. My reality is that everyone knows their place and knows that no form of good triumphs over greed, envy, money, and a good fuck.”

  “You know, I gave you the benefit of the doubt earlier when I first encountered you, the raging beast—oh I mean bitch. But now I truly think that if greats who devoted themselves and achieved in some way at killing evil with kindness like Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Mandela, Mother Teresa, well I think if any of them met you… they truly would break that seal of devotion and beat the bloody shit out of you.”

  “I take that as a compliment.”

  “Oh, I know you do.”

  “If you don’t back off, you will see why everyone is so frightened by the wicked bitch of the Upper East Side. You push me, you will be adding Jesus Christ himself to that list of yours and don’t forget he was crucified.”

  “Is this a threat?”

  “Yes, it is along with a promise and a fact.”

  “Good one… but don’t you forget, Jesus was resurrected. He came back and kicked ass. I’m not Jesus, but I promise you… you don’t want to fuck with me. Better yet, go home. Go be actually happy. Maybe it’s not too late for you to stop your life from becoming any less pathetic. I don’t know what happened to you to make you this way and if it’s as bad as I think it is. I really do feel sad for you for the part of you that died.”

  She walks away and I swallow the lump stuck in my throat. My eyes are starting to water. What the hell? I don’t cry. I don’t cry for anyone. My whole behavior tonight has been beneath me. It’s her. She’s doing this. Ruining everything. I quickly get my shit together before getting outside.

  “Patrick, you want to hang out tonight? Hugo wants to,” I say but I know the answer.

  “Babe, you know Mom and I are taking the first flight in two hours to California. We have that meeting.”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m sorry I forgot that quick. I’m gonna miss you.” I snuggle next to him.

  “Mom, can I stay back here with Scarlett?” Rebecca asks in excitement.

  “Absolutely not,” Jane says.

  “You guys don’t need me there.”

  “Mom, give Rebecca a break.” Patrick insists.

  Jane looks to Patrick then at me. My mother is doing nothing but texting on her phone.

  “Fine.” Rebecca smiles at me and I do the same. I smile knowing that I am going to absolutely destroy her because I am upset. I am humiliated and I am angry. When I’m angry… something beautiful is about to turn ugly.

  HUGO

  I startle Juliet once she enters her room. Sitting in her room in the dark sounds about creepy enough. But I have already surpassed my usual routines and limits.

  “Your girlfriend just threatened me to stay away from you,” she says, taking down her hair and walking to the end of her bed, holding onto her bedpost. “I have to admit, I almost was scared.”

  “You should be,” I say adamantly.

  She snickers. “You would protect me though, wouldn’t you?”

  I finally look up at her. “Is that what you want? Want to rub it in Scarlett’s face how much you have damaged me more than her?”

  Her smile falters. “What?”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “Wha-Hugo… I want you.” She comes closer to me. “I don’t know why, but I do and why am I adding damage to you?”

  I stand up and she nervously steps back. “I was fine before you came here.”

  “No, you weren’t.”

  “Yes!” I yell. “I was!”

  “No, you weren’t, Hugo!” She pulls her hair. “You were not fine. You wer
e just here, existing in your miserable life. Yes, I’m happy that I shook things up for you. And deep down you are too.”

  “Don’t you understand? I am bad for you. I will do nothing but harm to you and still you come at me with all these things. Why couldn’t you give up?”

  “Because I can’t… you are not the only one here in an unhealthy situation, clearly. I don’t do this. I’m never this invested in someone, but I am with you. Maybe I have a hero complex, I don’t know. But all I know is that…” She tries to find the words as her eyes swell up. “I breathe you in, Hugo.”

  “So what? You want to be boyfriend and girlfriend and have romantic picnic dates in Central Park, celebrate Valentine’s Day?”

  “No!” She grabs the front of my shirt. “I want us to be… you and me… me and you… Hugo and Juliet. Us. You can be an arrogant arsehole who sometimes says the most beautiful things. The arsehole that takes care of his brother. I can be my usual over excessive and opinionative and dashing self.” She laughs a little to herself and places her hands around the back of my neck. “I know you feel it. I have felt it since the first day I met you. This energy between us that just fills wherever we are. The damn thing just… it just sets itself in me when I’m near you and because of that, I can’t stay away from you.”

  “I can’t stay away from you. Is that what you want to hear?” I pull her hands away from me and brush past her, staring off. “I hear your voice in my sleep. When I’m near you, I am aware of every fucking second your body shifts. When I’m not near you… I can’t even think straight because I’m too busy thinking about what stupid thing you said or visualizing every smile you give me. Seeing you with my brother awakens my dark heart… kissing you, carves out my soul. I forsake every itch my body has for you just so I cannot be trapped by you. Never in my life have I wanted a woman so much yet couldn’t do it because I know that once we really just…” I lift my hands up clawing at the air. “When we sink into each other… it will be over.”

  “What will be over?”

  “Every shed of anger towards my life and just every excuse I have used to do the things that I’ve done will be a waste. Everything I have devoted myself to believing and not believing. It will all be a lie.” I open my arms. “It’s like if a Christian discovered there was no God. They’re whole world would be in ruins. They wouldn’t know what to do. Everything would be a lie. If I go back on everything my world will be ruined. I will… I will have to admit that… I hurt people and… and maybe I’ll even have to feel bad about it.”