Lily’s War

by June Francis

  He was silent a moment, then reached out and placed a hand on her belly. ‘So I’m inconsistent where you and our baby are concerned,’ he said quietly. ‘Perhaps that’s a lack of trust in me, but I was thinking I was being practical.’

  Her heart softened and she covered his hand with hers. ‘I want us to be with each other as much as we can, Matt. You’ll have to come to the farm too. If anything were to happen to you, I don’t know what I’d do.’

  His fingers curled about hers. ‘I can’t sit on the sidelines out of danger. It’s different with women and children.’

  ‘Not any more, Matt,’ she said firmly. ‘What about Jane and those children in the other room? Their mother is dead! We’re all in this together, and while I’m fit I’m staying with you.’

  He shook his head. ‘Lily—’

  ‘No, Matt! I won’t go!’

  ‘You will!’ His expression set mulishly. ‘Once before I let you persuade me against my will to let you do what you wanted and it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made.’ He crushed her fingers and she winced.

  ‘Matt, you’re hurting me.’

  He released her hand and kissed it. ‘Sorry.’ He moved away from her. ‘Now I’m going to snatch an hour’s sleep while you make up your mind you’re going to do exactly what I say.’ His expression was weary. ‘Afterwards I’ve got to work out what I’m going to say in my sermon this evening.’ He turned from her, pulling the covers over his head, effectively shutting her out.

  Lily stared at the humped shape of him in the bed, feeling rejected and frustrated, struggling with the desire to continue arguing the point. Matt wasn’t thinking straight. Who would take care of him and Ronnie, and serve in the shop, look after the hens and the cows? She knew her brother could do a lot and he had less delivering to do because there was less corn coming into the port because of ships and their cargoes being lost at sea, but he was beginning to help on the farm more because of the men being called up. There was also the fact that she had worked hard at making the dairy a going concern and liked earning some money she could call her own.

  She would have to leave things for now, though. Matt surely wouldn’t expect her to go to the farm immediately with Ben about to arrive. Besides there were the orphans to see to and Matt could not cope with them alone, she thought with a satisfied smile.

  She found the children asleep and stayed awhile, gazing down on them, thinking of the baby inside her. Every now and again the twins’ round little faces twitched, and Joe, who had his thumb in his mouth, would suck it vigorously. Poor mites! She would get Ronnie to explain about them to Uncle William, certain that he would manage to persuade Aunt Dora that two extra small mouths to fill on Christmas Day was not beyond her capabilities.

  It was as Lily had thought and Matt did not insist on her going to the farm there and then. In truth he seemed to have forgotten what he had said and she was not going to bring the subject up.

  On Christmas Eve, May arrived at the dairy with money to spend. She had grown taller and prettier and at fifteen had a curvaceous figure. ‘I thought we could go shopping,’ she said cheerfully, cutting a slice off the loaf she had baked herself and brought to impress her sister.

  ‘That’s fine with me. Although there mightn’t be much in town after the raids,’ said Lily cheerfully. She was feeling less nauseous and a little happier because the raids the night before had been less severe. Matt had taken the twins to the infirmary in Stanley Road. Being a clergyman had its uses in opening doors that were often closed to others, he’d said, determined the twins should be reassured about their sister’s care.

  Lily’s mood soon changed on overhearing a conversation on the tram into town. Manchester had been heavily bombed and the centre was still burning with the Exchange and all Piccadilly down. It seemed that the Luftwaffe had only gone elsewhere for a night out. When would it all end? She felt a sudden fierce protectiveness towards her unborn child and decided Matt could be talking sense and perhaps she should stay at the farm for the sake of the baby. She felt better having made the decision.

  Neither of the sisters had seen before the damage to Philip, Son and Nephew’s bookshop or Russell’s store on the corner of School Lane and Church Street. Its clock tower and the figures that used to come out when it chimed were gone for ever.

  ‘It’s horrible,’ said May, her mouth drooping. ‘It doesn’t feel like Christmas with some of the buildings all blackened and broken down. It makes me realise you were right making me stay on the farm. Besides I’m getting to like it, although Aunt Dora has me working like a skivvy.’ Her lovely eyes gleamed. ‘She’s teaching me to cook … says I’ve got a nice light touch with pastry.’

  ‘Matt wants me to go and stay at the farm,’ said Lily.

  May looked startled. ‘But you’re not going to, are you? I thought you said nothing would ever separate you from him again.’

  A shadow darkened Lily’s eyes. ‘I’m having a baby and that’s a big something. Don’t tell the others. I want to do that myself.’

  Her sister was delighted. ‘No wonder he wants you out of it! When’s it due?’

  ‘May. It’s a long way off yet and I’m not going to be worrying about it.’ She smiled and hugged her sister’s arm. ‘Now it’s Christmas and ol’ Hitler’s not going to stop us enjoying it, so let’s get spending.’ She pushed open the door to Woolworth’s and they went inside.

  Matt had told Lily to buy something for the twins, saying it was important they had something to open on Christmas morning. She bought some wooden blocks for Joe. Josie was having one of Mrs Draper’s dolls, which she knitted and sold for the Seamen’s Fund. Lily bought a couple of picture books and sweets and chocolate, and on the second-hand bookstall behind St John’s Market in Williamson’s Square she found several books which she thought her menfolk would enjoy.

  Ben was not expected until evening because there were always delays when travelling these days so Lily told May not to wait around in case there was a raid.

  Matt had found some coloured paper from somewhere and he and the children had made paper chains and were putting them up in the kitchen as Lily prepared an enormous pan of scouse. He told her about the twins’ sister. ‘She’s all right – was able to talk to them and that’s done them good. The nursing staff said if she had somewhere to go, someone to look after her, they’d let her out for Christmas.’ He bit into a carrot, chewing absently. ‘I’m going to have to try and find them somewhere they can be together.’

  Lily’s heart sank. ‘Why you, Matt? We never seem to have a minute to ourselves. Surely someone else can do it?’

  ‘Dealing with people’s problems is what my job’s about,’ he said quietly. ‘I was thinking—’

  ‘No, Matt.’ She just knew what he was thinking. ‘She can come for Christmas but they can’t stay indefinitely.’

  He eyed her mournfully with the tiniest smile curling the corners of his mouth. She found herself weakening. ‘You’re not going to tell me how there was no room at the inn, are you?’ she said with a laugh. ‘Because honestly, Matt, if it isn’t safe for me and the baby here, how can it be for those children and their sister?’

  He hesitated. ‘You’re right. But what about the farm? There’s a room above the stables not being used and space in the house. It’s sinful when people are getting bombed out and are homeless. It won’t be long before the authorities realise the space Dora’s got and she gets landed with someone she’ll fight with cat and dog.’

  Lily laughed. ‘You’ll never persuade Aunt Dora,’ she said positively. ‘She’ll hold out as long as she can. I’ve got to ask her about my staying there yet so don’t upset her, Matt.’

  His eyes brightened and he pulled her against him. ‘So you’re doing as you’re told, woman?’

  ‘Yes, man.’ She rested her head against his shoulder. ‘But only if the raids continue.’

  ‘Agreed.’

  ‘And I’ll come here every day.’

  ‘I should hope so! I�
��ll need someone to wash my socks.’

  ‘Is that all I’m good for?’

  ‘You know you’re good for lots more.’ He nibbled her ear.

  She pushed him away but her cheeks were pink and her expression warm. ‘Not in front of the children. Now scoot! I want to make some mince pies before Ben arrives.’

  Her brother turned up half an hour later. Lily flung her arms around him. ‘I thought you’d never get here. I was worried.’

  He dropped his tin hat, gas mask, kitbag, and held her off from him. ‘I was more worried about you lot! We know Liverpool’s been copping it.’

  ‘We’re surviving.’ She smiled. ‘How are you finding the land of your fathers?’

  His expression brightened. ‘Lovely country and the natives are friendly to us foreigners.’

  ‘Foreigners? Our mam and grandparents were Welsh!’

  ‘Well, there are foreigners among us. There’s an RAF training base not far away with New Zealanders and Aussies.’ He looked at Matt. ‘You’d feel quite at home. And there’s this nice old lady with this enormous house and gardens who throws it open to all and sundry. She thinks we’re all heroes. We have a few friendly drinks and a few friendly fights.’

  ‘Fights? Aren’t the Jerries enough for you all?’ said Lily.

  He grinned. ‘It’s nothing serious. And I’ve told them we’re just as friendly in Liverpool and to drop in any time they’re over this way.’

  ‘Thank you, Ben,’ she said with mock severity. ‘As if I didn’t have enough visitors with Matt’s waifs and strays.’

  Ben pulled a face. ‘And now there’s me to feed. I’ve got a whole fortnight’s leave.’

  ‘Well, you can spend it at the farm,’ she said promptly. ‘Uncle William was saying he has a lot to discuss with you.’

  He asked after his uncle and from then on the conversation was taken up with family and business matters.

  That night there was only a light raid, much to their relief. On Christmas Day, William arrived in the Armstrong Siddeley to take them to the farm. They had made a promise not to talk about the war that day, but it was not easy considering the debris, bomb craters and unsafe buildings which needed to be avoided in order to collect the twins’ sister.

  ‘This is Vera,’ introduced Matt.

  She was a tall girl, with pale delicate features and waving brown hair fashioned peek-a-boo style, which did not quite conceal a black eye. The skirt of the navy blue suit she wore was a little on the short side, which was to her advantage, revealing long slim legs. Her shoes were well worn but highly polished. A bandage showed beneath the cuff of her left sleeve and she appeared nervous, biting on her bottom lip as she stood gazing at them.

  Lily and William smiled and said hello. The twins chorused for her to come and sit by them, but Ben, who was sitting in the front seat and had been gazing wordlessly at her, scrambled out of the car and offered his seat. ‘You’ll be more comfortable here than squashed in the back,’ he stammered.

  ‘Thank you.’ Her voice was just a thread of sound and she stared at him gratefully from elongated brown eyes.

  Lily lifted one of the twins on to her knee and tried not to stare at Ben as he squeezed in next to her. It took some doing because to her knowledge it was the first time he had ever looked at a girl in such a way. She spoke to him and he answered as if in a dream. He’s in love, smitten at first sight, she thought, wondering what that boded for the future.

  Over dinner Lily watched Ben and Vera and it was obvious to her the girl was as smitten as her brother. It showed when he asked William and Dora could Vera and the twins board with them? Ronnie and May had taken the visitors to see the animals.

  ‘She’ll be able to help on the farm now most of the men have gone, Uncle William,’ he insisted, his expression animated. ‘I’ve got a fortnight, I can teach her quite a lot in that time.’

  His uncle agreed and when Matt stressed the need for those who had to help those who had not, Aunt Dora also said yes, adding since she had been aiding William and May outside there had not been enough hours in the day and she was always tired. It was not like her aunt to show weakness and Lily felt concerned. Then she remembered the baby. The news brought a smile to Dora’s face, although for a moment she reverted back to her old self and reminded Lily that her mother had died in childbirth and she would have to take care of herself and not do too much. Albert had been too wrapped up in himself to see what had been needed at the time, which was typical of men.

  Matt said shortly, ‘I have every intention of my wife having the best of care, Dora.’ But instead of insisting Lily stayed safely at the farm that night they went home together.

  Lily was quite happy to do so, although she would have liked to be on hand to see how the relationship between Ben and Vera progressed. She found out within the week when Ben announced he and Vera were getting married and asked Matt how he went about getting a special licence. She expected Matt to counsel him on the wisdom of not rushing into something so important as marriage but he did not.

  ‘They’re right for each other,’ Matt said succinctly. ‘You can see it just looking at their faces and they’re always talking.’ He officiated at the wedding which was attended only by the close family. The obviously happy newly-weds had a two-day honeymoon in Blackpool before Ben returned to his unit.

  Matt tried to find out more about Jane but it was difficult with victims’ bodies charred beyond recognition and survivors coming and going from the countryside. For the docks to keep working, the dockers had to stay alive, so it made sense for them to escape the bombing where they could.

  There was a welcome lull in heavy bombing for a couple of months and Matt said no more about Lily moving out to the farm. Feeling well, and with the baby moving inside her, she got on with life. She tried not to worry about the war or Ben. Vera went to see him in Wales and soon after they heard he would be going abroad. He said they had not been told where for security reasons but he and Vera worked out a code so he could let her know when he was leaving and where he was going, but she received no letter or phone call and could only presume that they had whisked him away before he had a chance to get in touch.

  With few raids life almost felt normal. Then halfway through March, Lily and Matt were having a welcome break at the pictures when the sirens started. They stayed where they were, enjoying the film and believing the raid would only be a light one, but an incendiary started a fire and they were told to leave. They came out of the cinema to the sound of machine-gun fire. Flares lit up the sky, enabling them to see the duel taking place between two planes. Mesmerised they watched as tracer bullets travelled along the plume of a Heinkel bomber with a Nightfighter in hot pursuit. The planes tore across the sky, then suddenly there came a tremendous explosion and they could see burning bits and pieces of aircraft plunging from the sky. There was a hush and then the crowd let out a cheer.

  ‘Let’s go,’ said Matt grimly, seizing Lily’s arm. ‘Tomorrow you go to the farm.’ She nodded, wishing the men had been able to parachute out. It did not matter than the slain were the enemy. They were someone’s husband, son or brother.

  Lily was to remember that aerial fight a couple of mornings later. She had just finished helping Uncle William and Vera with the milking, wanting to get away as soon as she could to see if Matt and Ronnie were all right, when the twins came into the house at a run.

  ‘We’ve found a man,’ they said breathlessly and in unison. ‘He speaks funny English, not as good as Matt, and thinks he’s broken his ankle.’

  The three grown-ups exchanged glances. ‘A Jerry, d’you think?’ said William, reaching for the shotgun which had never been far from his hand since war was declared.

  ‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ murmured Lily.

  Vera’s mouth tightened. ‘If he’s one of theirs I know what I’d like to do with him.’ She made a twisting gesture with her hands and strode out of the shippon accompanied by the twins.

  Lily and William hurried afte
r them to the field, where to their relief an airman in RAF blue was trying to fold his half-torn parachute, while propped up on one elbow among rows of early cabbages. There was a smear of mud and a long scratch down the side of his face but he grinned as they approached. ‘Gidday sports!’

  ‘You’re an Aussie!’ chorused the two women.

  ‘You’re quick. Name’s Andy Gardner.’

  Lily could not help a smile. He reminded her of Rob Fraser and suddenly she was remembering the sunshine and the flowers and life before the real gut-gripping fear that the bombing had brought to all their lives.

  William cleared his throat. ‘We should get his boot off if his ankle’s broken.’

  Lily roused herself. ‘It’ll hurt like hell and we’ve still to get him on his feet and we can’t go lifting, Uncle William.’

  Vera agreed and sent the twins to fetch May, and between them the two young women managed to get Andy into the house, where William phoned a doctor and the Australian asked if he could ring his base at Speke, a few miles away.

  The women fussed around Andy who informed them he came from New South Wales, and soon he and Lily were talking of places she had visited and completely forgot the time. The doctor arrived and said Andy’s ankle was only a bad sprain. He also had a talk with Lily and they discussed her coming confinement as she had decided it would take place at the farm. It came as a shock to her to realise it was well gone two before he left. She wondered if Matt was worried about her, then decided he could have phoned from the post office if he was concerned. She felt definitely annoyed about him not doing so.

  Yesterday she had arrived home to find the house empty and had done most of the washing before he came in. He had been visiting the bereaved and seemed distracted. She had been feeling unusually vulnerable and anxious but had not liked bothering him with her feelings, especially when someone else had arrived, homeless and asking for his help. He had ended up offering her Albert’s old room without consulting Lily, which she now remembered had annoyed her. She thought they should have discussed it. Afterwards there had been barely time to snatch a meal together before she had to leave to catch the tram. Thinking about it, Lily decided she would not rush into Liverpool and back to the farm again. The doctor had said her blood pressure was up and she should be resting more with the baby due in less than two months.