Ma, It's a Cold Aul Night an I'm Lookin for a Bed

by Martha Long

  ‘Waiting on a lovely young fella like you to come and buy me a box of chocolates,’ I said, leaning on the counter and giving him a big smile, showing off me white gnashers.

  ‘Right! What time do yeh knock off?’ he said. ‘I’ll pick yeh up after work. Where do yeh want to go? The pictures?’

  ‘Get back to work!’ Molly roared. ‘You are not being paid to have idle chatter with the customers.’

  ‘Jaysus! Where did yeh get yer woman from?’ he said, stretching his neck back and letting his eyeballs hang out, looking down his nose at Molly. I was delighted he was getting a rise out of her, but I kept me face straight.

  ‘No, sorry, I have a boyfriend,’ I said, getting all serious. Enough was enough. I didn’t want to lose me job. Anyway, he’s not my type. He’s too full of himself. I want better when I start looking.

  ‘Molly will serve you,’ I said, wanting to placate her, and not give your man the wrong idea.

  ‘Your loss!’ he said to me back as I planted the bread on the shelves.

  ‘What price do you want to pay?’

  ‘Give me a box of them Dairy Milk,’ he said, pointing to the big box of chocolates. ‘Are you sure you won’t change your mind?’ he roared at me as he was making for the door. ‘I bet your boyfriend won’t buy you a box of these. Look, these are for me ma. She’s in the hospital, but I can buy you a box as well, if you like?’

  I looked around at him. Seeing he wasn’t acting so full of himself. He looked a little lost, more like a little boy. ‘What age are yeh?’ I said, laughing.

  ‘I’m sixteen!’

  ‘Oh! So am I.’

  ‘Well, then! Will yeh come out with me?’

  ‘Ask me another time,’ I said, seeing he was really shy, and was just covering up, trying to make himself look like a man of the world.

  ‘Yeah, right. I will. I’ll do that then,’ he said, backing out of the shop with the chocolates under his arm, wrapped in a brown paper bag.

  ‘Bye! See yeh! Bye! Be seeing you!’ I laughed. Thinking that could be my very first boyfriend if I wanted. I even felt a bit sorry for him, God love him, and he’s very good. Buying his ma a box of chocolates because she’s in the hospital. Yeah, I might think about it. Because I know he wouldn’t do me any harm. I don’t trust fellas, so that’s saying a lot for him.

  ‘That’s a very cheeky young fella,’ Molly said, bending down to put the milk in the fridge.

  ‘Ah, he’s only showing off, Molly. There’s no real harm in him.’

  ‘How would you know? Sure what experience do you have? You better watch yourself. Mind who you keep company with!’ Molly snorted, raging no one had asked her out. Jaysus! I would hate to be stuck in a dump like this when I get to her age! I’d rather hang meself. No, I’m going to be moving up in the world.

  ‘Keep an eye on the shop. I’m taking my break,’ Molly suddenly said, making over for the cakes the bread man delivered early this morning. I watched her taking two big sugary jam doughnuts and take off up the stairs to the kitchen, to make herself a cup of tea.

  ‘Right, I’ll be in charge,’ I said, stretching me arms and leaning me hands on the counter. Then she was flying back down the stairs just as quick.

  ‘Don’t do . . .’ she snorted, whipping herself back into the shop, coming to a standstill, trying to think. ‘Make sure you know what you are doing,’ she said, looking worried. Her eyes watching me carefully, then flying around the shop to make sure everything was OK.

  ‘Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing, Molly. Everything will be as right as rain.’

  ‘That’s what I am afraid of,’ she said. ‘You better not make any problems for me, I’m warning you!’

  ‘Like what, Molly? Sure I have been at this job all morning. There’s nothing to it!’

  ‘I’ll be upstairs, if you want me. Just open this door and shout up.’

  ‘OK, Molly.’ Then she was gone.

  I’m on me own! Running the shop by meself. Who would have thought it? Me eyes flew around the length and breadth of the shop, taking in all the sweets. Then I landed me head on the glass case over the other side. The one with the fancy sweets. I listened for a second. Right, she’s gone. I dashed over, and flew around the counter and shot down to where the lovely soft nutty brown sweets were sitting, waiting for me. I picked up one, sniffing it. Hmm, gorgeous. It smells like toffee and coconut. I’ll just have one. They’re very expensive. Well, maybe two. Oh, have another one. Jaysus! Have two more. It’s only a few. Gawd! This is definitely a marvellous job. Working in a shop. I can help meself to whatever I want.

  I had me fill of the sweets and was just starting on the Kimberley Biscuits when the door flew open. I nearly choked with the fright. ‘Where are yeh?’ Molly roared, flying her head around the shop, looking the length of the place for me.

  ‘I’m over here,’ I croaked, lifting me head out of the biscuits, raising me eyes above the counter, trying to swallow the biscuit whole.

  ‘What are you doing over there?’ she roared, eyeing the sweets, seeing me cheeks bulging.

  ‘Eh, fixing the sweets, Molly! A man wanted some then changed his mind. I, eh, had to empty them back.’

  She stared, looking at me very suspiciously. ‘Them sweets are very expensive, you know.’

  ‘Yeah! They’re very dear at that all right,’ I agreed, shaking me head at her.

  ‘So keep your hands off them!’

  ‘Of course! God forgive yeh, Molly, for thinking such a thing,’ I said. Flying around the counter to stand beside her. ‘Can I go for me break now, Molly? You’ve had yours.’

  ‘Go on, and only take ten minutes!’

  ‘Right, I’m off,’ I said, belting up the stairs, dying for a cup of tea and a cigarette. Then I remembered and came flying back down again. I helped meself to two doughnuts and was just whipping out the door again when Molly let out a roar. ‘Come back here, you!’ ‘Wha? What’s wrong?’

  ‘You have to pay for them, you know. You pay for everything you take out of this shop.’

  I didn’t know that, I thought, seeing her not paying for the doughnuts. Then decided to chance me arm. ‘Ah, I won’t bother after all so,’ I said, hesitating, and putting it to me mouth, looking like I was thinking about it. ‘I suppose I better put them back.’

  ‘You can’t put them back. You’ve been manhandling them.’

  ‘Yeah, I know. What will you do? Will I dump them in the bin?’

  ‘You will do no such thing. You can pay for them now.’

  ‘No, I most definitely will not. I thought you were getting them for nothing. I didn’t see you paying for them,’ I snorted, feeling the heat rising in me, because, now that I remember, she didn’t pay for them.

  ‘Go on! Get out. Eat your bloody cakes. But don’t let me catch you doing that again. Or I’ll report you to Missus Murphy.’

  ‘Right, thanks very much, Molly. You’re very good.’

  The shop was crowded. I was on night duty, with Molly doing overtime. Because she had to do stocktaking, she called it.

  ‘Give me an ounce of ready-rubbed tobacco,’ an elderly man said, pointing at the big jar behind me. I dipped me hand in, and pulled out a square piece of tobacco, looking at the price, and handed it to him. ‘Thanks, love,’ and he was out the door, then back in a few minutes later. ‘You might as well give me another two,’ he said, pointing at the jar. Before I knew where I was, there was a great run on ready-rubbed tobacco.

  ‘Gawd! This stuff is flying,’ I muttered, handing it to a young fellow. ‘What do you use that stuff for?’

  ‘It’s me granddad that smokes it in his pipe,’ he said, handing me back the tobacco I gave him. ‘I only asked for an ounce,’ he said. ‘That’s two ounces.’

  ‘What?’ I looked at it, seeing the near-empty jar.

  ‘The other one,’ he said, pointing to the jar at the far back of the shelf. ‘That’s the smaller one, yeh can easily see the difference,’ he said, being very obliging to point
that out to me.

  ‘Thanks!’ I whipped the money off him, thinking, Jaysus! I’m for it now. I’ve been giving out two ounces for one ounce all day. The fucking robbers! They knew what they were up to. Waiting on me to serve them. I was wondering about that – why me and the ready-rubbed tobacco was so popular. Now I know. Jaysus! That stuff is very dear. If Molly finds out, it will cost me a month’s wages, judging by the amount I gave away. Better hide the jar. I swapped them around, putting the full jar of one-ounce in front and the empty one in the back, hoping she wouldn’t notice.

  I was sweeping the floor after the shop shut up for the night. ‘We’re down seventeen shillings and nine pence,’ Molly was saying, looking very worried, to the grey-haired man checking the money with her. The pair of them gave looks in my direction. They better not blame me. When it came to giving out the change, I was very careful. I always make sure to count it out to the customers as I hand it over. That’s what I always did as a child. I always made sure I got the right change.

  ‘Let’s start again,’ he said, emptying out the bags of money.

  ‘Molly, I’m going up to bed now,’ I said, making for the door.

  ‘You better wait! The day’s takings are short. You may be liable.’

  ‘No chance,’ I said wearily, dropping me shoulders and leaning me elbows on the counter further down the shop. Nobody is taking one penny out of my wages. If there’s one thing I can do, it’s count. I wasn’t running me own business at the age of nine for nothing, I thought to myself.

  ‘I’m going up for a cup of tea. I’ll be back,’ I said, moving out the door.

  I heard the side door being locked, then someone drawing the bolt across and I held me breath. Molly came into the kitchen, making for the teapot. The grey-haired man followed her in behind. ‘Is it all OK?’ I asked her, holding me breath.

  ‘Yes, it balanced,’ she said, not bothering to look at me.

  ‘Right, goodnight, then. See you in the morning,’ I said.

  She nodded at me, and the man muttered goodnight under his breath. I walked off down the hall making for me bed, feeling this job would not be so bad if the people were nice.

  I leaned on the counter, opening the pages of the Evening Herald, seeing the shop was quiet. Molly threw her eye at me, giving me a dirty look but saying nothing. She just tutted, shaking her head, and went back to the business of stacking the shelves with cans of beans. She’d got fed up giving out to me. I had worn her down.

  Ah, here we are. Night classes. Me eyes lit up. ‘Classes in shorthand and typing. Why get stuck in that dead-end job! Come and join us. Earn big wages as a secretary’ the advertisement said. ‘Apply to Taylors College. Phone number . . .’ Right! That’s what I’m looking for.

  ‘Molly!’

  ‘What?’ she said, giving me a withering look.

  ‘I need coppers for the phone. Can I run upstairs to me handbag or can I borrow it out of the till?’

  ‘You will do no such thing. Keep your paws out of that till. You are not going anywhere. You can do your business on your own time.’

  ‘Well, I have to go to the toilet, Molly. YOU can’t stop me doing that!’ I roared, opening the door and flying up the stairs before she could say another word. I grabbed two pennies out of me purse and flew back down again.

  ‘Right! I’m back. You didn’t even know I was gone, I was that quick,’ I puffed, trying to appease her.

  ‘You won’t last in this job,’ she sniffed, letting out her breath.

  I went to the phone box at the side of the door and put the money in. When I heard someone say ‘Hello,’ I listened to the money drop as I pressed the button A. ‘Is this Taylors College?’

  ‘Yes, can I help you?’

  ‘Yeah, I want to enquire about the night classes in shorthand and typing.’

  The woman at the other end listened then said, ‘Are you a beginner? What standard are you at?’

  ‘Standard?’

  ‘Yes. Have you done any before?’

  ‘No, I want to start.’

  ‘Right. It’s a bit late now, the classes are nearly finishing up. But if you come in January, the classes will be starting over again. They start on the twelfth of January. You just come along on the night and enrol straight away and pay. What way do you want to do it? You can pay nightly. Five shillings for two hours one night a week. That way if you don’t turn up, you don’t lose any money.’

  ‘Oh, that’s grand. That will suit me down to the ground.’

  ‘OK, the classes start sharp at seven p.m. And end at nine p.m. It’s to allow for people working during the day. Is that all you need to know?’

  ‘Yeah! Oh, wait a minute! Do I need to bring anything with me?’

  ‘Yeah, you need to buy a shorthand notebook, and a pencil and rubber. You can get that in Eason’s. Is that OK?’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, that’s lovely. Thank you very much for all your help. Oh, by the way!’

  ‘Yeah?’ the woman said, getting a bit impatient to get off the phone.

  ‘How many classes are there in the college? Will I be able to find the one I want? I don’t want to be late and miss the beginning.’

  ‘No, this is only a secretarial college. We have students coming in full-time during the day, and we only do one class at night. It’s always on a Tuesday night.’

  ‘OK!’

  ‘Goodbye now,’ she said, making it sound final.

  ‘Goodbye. Thanks again.’ I put down the phone, feeling me heart flying.

  Right, I’ll be there on the Tuesday night in January. But I forgot to ask her how many classes I would need before I can do the shorthand and typing and get a good job. Well, we’ll see. I’ll work hard, that will hurry it along.

  I could see Molly was earwigging. She put on her long face with the woebegone look, much as to say, ‘It’s a pity about yeh, thinking we’re not good enough for yeh!’

  ‘There you go, mam. Thirteen shillings and sevenpence half-penny change.’ I watched the woman count her change and put it carefully into her purse, looking to see what she had left.

  ‘That’s grand,’ she said, shutting the purse and putting it at the bottom of her shopping bag.

  ‘Here’s your bread and milk,’ I said, holding the two bottles of milk while she fixed the bread and tea in the bag.

  ‘Bye now,’ she said, waving to me.

  ‘Thanks, and a very happy Christmas,’ I said, smiling at her.

  ‘And a very happy Christmas to you too, love,’ she said, making for the door. Molly whipped it wide open, shaking the door, impatient to close it, then slammed it shut after letting the woman out.

  ‘That’s the last of them,’ Molly sighed.

  ‘Right,’ the grey-haired man said, flying around the shop switching off all the lights, letting the Christmas lights in the window go off. Then rushing out the door to slam down the shutters on the two big plate-glass windows and slam the shutter down in front of the door on the outside. Then he locked the front door as Molly whipped past me shouting, ‘Don’t go near that bathroom. I’m having a bath now. I need to run for that train leaving Heuston station at ten past four.’

  ‘Right so, Molly. I won’t bother. See you after Christmas.’

  ‘Yes! Wednesday we open again. So just you make sure you are back here on Tuesday night. You are on the early morning shift.’

  ‘OK. See you. Have a lovely Christmas!’

  ‘Yes, you too,’ she said, flying up the stairs.

  ‘Happy Christmas, Mister O’Brien!’ I shouted to the grey-haired man checking to see if everything was turned off.

  ‘Oh, yes. Happy Christmas to you too,’ he said, looking miles away, not really taking much notice.

  I was up the stairs and into the room, making for me green coat and handbag. Molly was already gone down to the bathroom. That was quick. She really is in a hurry. I could see her big brown battered old suitcase standing next to the bed, with her purple wool coat folded on top of her black old handbag sitt
ing on the bed waiting for her. Then I spotted the string nylon shopping bag thrown in the corner. Great! Just what the doctor ordered. I need that for me shopping today. I’ll just borrow it.

  I grabbed it up, rushing to get me coat and handbag, taking out the little brown envelope with the big green one-pound note, and the red ten-shilling note, all new and shiny. Right, I’ll take it all into town with me. I might as well spend the lot. After all, tomorrow is Christmas Day. It’s the one day of the year I should be good to meself. I can start saving again after Christmas. You always need money in your pocket, you never know the hour or the day when I could really need it. I don’t want to find meself suddenly out of a job and without a penny in me pocket. Jaysus! That would never do. I could end up walking the streets just like me and the ma. I shivered even at the thought of it. No, I’m never going to let meself get into that position. At the mercy of the world. I will always make sure I have another job to go to before I leave what I’m doing.

  I combed me hair, putting on me coat, and picked up me bag, checking to make sure I had the hall door key to let meself in. Grand. It’s there. Right! Better hurry and catch the bus into town. The shops are going to be crowded.

  I opened the door as Molly came flying down the hall. ‘Are you off, then, for the Christmas?’

  ‘Yeah!’ I said, trying to rush past her. Not wanting her to know I would be staying here, and have to start answering awkward questions. I’m telling no one my business. Who I am, and where I come from is no one’s business, I huffed to meself, taking off down the stairs.

  I got off the bus in o’Connell Street and turned right, crossing the road, flying under buses and cars, with people and traffic nearly running into each other. Everyone was in a hurry. Rushing to get the last-minute bit of shopping. I turned right, heading up Henry Street. Seeing all the Christmas lights streaming through the air. With Santa on his sledge and his reindeers flying out behind him, hanging from the tops of the buildings strung out across the street. The noise was deafening. People were crushing each other to get up and down and sideways, in and out of the shops. I pushed me way into the centre of the road, discovering it made no difference. Everyone had the same idea.