Face to Face (On Pointe Book 3)

by Penelope Freed

  “I—” I start to whisper but can’t get any farther, my throat closing up.

  And then I’m being enveloped in Trevor’s arms, my face pressed against his chest, the familiar feel of him washing away some of my fear. “I’m sorry Han, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to upset you, I swear I didn’t.”

  He upset me?

  With my ear pressed against him and Trevor resting his cheek on top of my head, his shaky breath rattles in my ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, tightening his arms.

  I pull back a little so I can peer up at his face, his arms sliding back to my hips. “I thought I made you mad…” I don’t get any farther before Trevor is shaking his head.

  “I was mad, but not at you. You didn’t do anything wrong, T. I was pissed at Thomas. And a little at myself.” Again, he touches the hair he just tucked behind my ear, his chocolate eyes searching mine. The hand still on my hip slides to the small of my back, drawing me closer until there’s less than an inch of space between us.

  My breath quickens before I manage to get words out. “Why were you mad at yourself? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  That gets me a smile, Trevor’s fingers still playing with the strand of hair he seems to have taken captive. He can have it, if it means he’s not leaving me.

  “I wish I could help you with this the same way I help you with math.” I smile at that. “I hate that I can’t be the one to help you with this, T. I know how important it is to you. It kills me that I have to let some other guy help you when that should be my job.”

  Swallowing down my fear and embarrassment, I reach up to cup Trevor’s cheek, my thumb lightly grazing the corner of his lip, before resting my hand on his shoulder. I pull up to my toes, using him for balance, his hand on my back steadying me. “Working with a partner, letting someone touch me like that…I’m not used to it. It’s going to take me awhile to be more comfortable.” Trevor’s thumb slides under the fabric of my shirt, sending sparks of awareness dancing across my skin.

  “I don’t know how comfortable I want you to get with other guys touching you,” Trevor admits, his eyes going dark. He keeps talking before I can argue. “But I know you need to do this, that it’s important to you. And I trust you.” His eyes search mine for a long moment. Not sure what he’s looking for I hold still, waiting for him to say more. His hand on my back tightens, holding me firmly. “How can I help?”

  “You are helping me. More than you know,” I whisper, unwilling to break the quiet surrounding us with my voice. My voice, my words, aren’t going to reassure either of us right now. Instead, locking eyes with Trevor, I guide his other hand to my back, then lift my arms, holding them high and rounded above my head. Still balancing on my toes, I pick up my back leg, releasing it low behind me. “I’m going to lean back, will you hold me?” I ask, waiting for his nod of assent before I lift my eyes and bend back, arching towards my lifted leg. Trevor’s arms brace to take my weight as I look up to the clouds in the sky. The green leaves of the tall trees near us dance across my vision, contrasting with the patch of blue sky peeking between the buildings. Closing my eyes, I trust that Trevor is going to hold me as I lean back even farther, my hips counterbalancing me, Trevor’s hands reassuring and strong. Bone-deep, I know, I trust, he won’t let me fall.

  Slowly, I straighten, opening my eyes to meet his, smiling when I see the happiness in Trevor’s face. With a grin, he bends his knees, wraps his arms around my torso and spins us both in a circle. I can’t stop the joyful laugh that bursts out of me. Setting me down on my feet, I take Trevor’s left hand with my right, then duck under his arm, switching hands as I straighten, stepping into another arabesque, grasping his left hand with mine, my right hand resting on his shoulder. A classic pas de deux move.

  “What do I do now?” Trevor’s voice echoes in the quiet.

  “Lock your arm and walk in a circle.” I instruct, jerking my head in the direction I want him to go. Using my inner thigh muscles, I pivot my foot on the ground to turn with him. This is a million times harder on concrete and in tennis shoes than in pointe shoes. I barely manage to keep myself from falling. “That’s a promenade. They’re harder than they look.” I continue with my lesson. “Stop there,” I add when we’ve made a somewhat complete circle. I let go, opening my arms to the sky, balancing on one leg for as long as I can before collapsing with a grin.

  Before I can instruct him again, I’m being swept up in Trevor’s arms, one arm beneath my knees, the other supporting my back. I throw my arms around his neck. “I don’t know any lifts from here,” I tease.

  “Me neither. But I couldn’t help myself.” Taking long steps towards one of the benches, Trevor sits down with me on his lap. “Hey, are we good?”

  Happy to stay here, I nod. “Yeah. We’re good. You’re a pretty good partner, you know that?” The shy smile Trevor gives me has my heart rate picking up, but it’s the way his hand brushes my cheek before softly griping the nape of my neck, drawing me closer that has it racing.

  Our first kiss is perfect.

  Soft.

  Sweet.

  Trevor’s lips press against mine, new and familiar, safe but wild.

  I pull back with a gasp, my hands finding their way to his cheeks without any guidance from me before I lean back in for another, silencing the words he was about to say. For once, my mind is still. The hundred worries and thoughts that never leave me, the second-guessing, the anxious surety that whatever is wrong is somehow my fault, disappears.

  There’s just us. Just Trevor’s arm tight around my waist, our fingers tangled in the hair at the back of each other’s necks. Lips tasting and exploring, tentative at first, and then with more confidence. Eventually, I have to come up for air, although I’m not sure if I’m gasping from the lack of oxygen or because kissing Trevor is that breathtaking.

  This space, where it’s just us, just me and Trevor, feels like home.

  Chapter Twelve

  Katy

  Spluttering and pushing my wet hair out of my eyes I come up for air, already reaching out to return the favor. Nothing says “welcome home from your long and boring road trip” like being tossed in the pool. My brothers do it so often it’s a habit to toss my phone on the nearest chair as soon as I walk outside.

  What I wasn’t expecting?

  For JJ to be the one to grab me around the waist and jump in, dragging me with her.

  Geez, she and Jack are perfect for each other, that’s exactly the same thing he would do. As I wipe the water away from my eyes, I swim in circles looking for her. She bursts out of the water to my left, flipping her hair back in a decent imitation of a mermaid before her laughing eyes find mine and she grins.

  “You are so dead!” I laugh, pushing off the wall to swim towards her, arms already reaching out to grab her.

  “You have to catch me first.” JJ’s longer arms and legs make it hard for me to catch up, every time I get close, she manages to slither away again. Her arms and legs are slippery smooth under the water, making it difficult for me to get a grip. I have her by the ankle when she swims down, a direction I wasn’t anticipating, then wraps herself around my waist, like a human floatie. Between the ridiculous way she’s hooked her arms behind her own knees so I can’t shake her off, her hair tickling my sides and the pure fun of being silly with her, I’m laughing so hard I snort. And not a cute delicate little snort, nope, this is a full on, phlegm rattling, piggy snort.

  Which of course makes us both laugh even harder.

  “Truce, truce,” I gasp as JJ comes up for air. Laying back on the water, I float away, staring at the sky. My wet sports bra and shorts aren’t an ideal swimsuit, but I’ve been tossed in this pool in far worse. Let’s just say, the time they tossed me in wearing full denim overalls when I was ten and the Christmas they tossed me in in my fancy velvet dress still live in infamy in our house.

  “My arms are noodles.
You’re sadistic, you know that?” I add, letting the cool water soothe my aching shoulders and clean the sticky sweat off my face. “We only got back late last night. Would it have killed any of you to let me sleep in for once?”

  “It was Jack’s idea, don’t blame me. He saw this terrain race where you have to carry a bucket full of rocks for fifty yards or something and wanted to try it. Buckets full of water was the best I could do on short notice.”

  The mention of Jack’s name sends my stomach sinking to the bottom of the pool. How often do they talk? I’m dying to know but afraid to ask. JJ and I were texting so often it felt like she came on the trip with us, keeping me company and teasing my brothers with me. Was she texting him the same amount? She couldn’t be, right?

  With nothing else to do but look out the window and stare at the landscape passing me by, I’ve a lot of time to think. Is it too much to ask to have a person who’s mine? That I don’t have to share with my stupid charismatic brothers?

  Not just any person—JJ.

  I float over to the edge of the pool, letting my legs sink down as I hook my elbows backwards over the edge. The cement is hot on my skin, but the contrast between the heat on my back and shoulders and the coolness of the water soothes my tired body. “I can’t believe I ran a full five miles with you today. If you’d asked me in June, I would have said never, but here I am, running five miles without thinking twice. What have you done to me?” Tipping my head back to rest against the cement, I close my eyes against the bright sunshine that’s already beating down on us at ten in the morning.

  There’s a small splash of water near me, but I don’t open my eyes, basking in the sun like the lizard I am. “Well, you were already halfway there with all the dance you do, and all the work you guys did on the road. It’s not like you took those three weeks off.” JJ’s voice comes from right next to me. I smile, keeping my eyes closed, picturing the two of us. “All you needed was the motivation.”

  “Ha! You realize dancers don’t run, right? It’s supposed to be bad for your knees.”

  “Do your knees hurt?”

  “Well, no. But I’m not the real dancer in our group. I leave that up to Hannah and Lisa.”

  A finger pokes my cheek. Turning my head and cracking one eye open, JJ’s face is closer than I expected, her head pillowed on her elbows. “Why do you do that?” she asks, irritation in her voice.

  “Do what?”

  “Write yourself off. You work just as hard as everyone else, but you say Hannah and Lisa are the ‘real dancers’ and your brothers are the ‘real athletes.’ Granted, I’ve never watched you dance, but Jack’s told me how many hours you dedicate to it every week. And you can’t tell me you aren’t determined to kick your brother’s asses every time we train. Sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with you.”

  JJ sees all that? In me?

  Not knowing what else to do, I slide off the wall and dunk my head under the water, needing a minute before I have to face her again. JJ’s words leave me exposed, no one has ever seen me like that before. But I’m also aware of the warm glow her words stoke in my chest. No one’s ever seen me like that and appreciated it.

  With my lungs burning, I push myself up out of the water and rest my elbows next to JJ’s, pillowing my head to match hers. “No one ever notices me,” is all I can say. I would shrug, but my shoulders are already up around my ears.

  “Well, I notice.” JJ’s smile has the warm glow in my chest building to a blaze, until her next words quench it faster than a bucket of ice water. “Jack notices too. I think you should give your brothers more credit. They love you, you know?”

  “Yeah, yeah. I think they love you more.” The truth of my words sends my stomach sinking to the bottom of the pool. Once again, I’m the afterthought, I helped them get what they wanted—Lisa in Hunter’s case and now JJ—and they took it without thinking about whether it was something I needed too.

  I need a friend. And I guess JJ isn’t going to be the one I hope for.

  “Why haven’t we done this before?” Olivia asks as I slide into the passenger seat of her car.

  “We have done this before?” In all the years we’ve known each other, Olivia and I have definitely gone shopping together before.

  “No I mean, why haven’t we hung out, just you and me, this summer? It seems like we should have.” We stop at a red light and Olivia pulls her sunglasses down to peer at my face. I shrug in response. All I know is, I needed to get away from my house and my brothers.

  “I don’t know. You’ve been busy hanging out with your girls, I’ve been hanging out with my brothers and JJ. We’ve been training for that terrain race at the end of summer.” How many more excuses does she need? Although, I’m glad Olivia doesn’t mention anything about me ditching dance all summer. I get enough guilt from Hannah and Lisa whenever I talk to them.

  “Honestly? I haven’t seen the girls from the squad much at all. Since they were such bitches to Lisa at your house that day, I’ve been keeping my distance.” She blows out a deep breath. “Of course, I’m going to have to deal with them eventually. Did I tell you that Coach made me co-captain for next year?”

  “Congrats Olivia, that’s awesome. Are you excited?” We’re circling the parking lot of the outlet mall, looking for a spot.

  “Yeah, I’m excited. I’m a little nervous because it’s a lot of responsibility. But I’m glad that Coach picked me because her other choices were Allyson or Megan. And that would have been a disaster.”

  “Why would that be a disaster?” I ask, curious.

  “Because while those girls are my bitches, they’re still bitches. How they acted towards Lisa and Hannah? They’re kind of like that to everyone. It wouldn’t have been good for the squad. Captains are supposed to be fair, not the leaders of the mean girl clique.”

  I can’t think of anything to say to that as Olivia parks. I never thought she noticed how awful those girls were.

  “What?” she asks as we climb out.

  “And here I thought wearing pink on Wednesday’s was your idea,” I tease. “I’m kind of surprised you saw how awful they are. I didn’t think you cared.”

  Olivia gives me a look, well, I assume so since her sunglasses are hiding her eyes from me. “I wasn’t completely oblivious to them. I know they’ve been rude to you, I just…” She pauses to open the door to the clothing store, letting me go in front of her. “I’ll admit that I was so busy being mad at Hannah and everyone who was on her side, that I didn’t say anything when I should have. I should have called them out on their bitchiness ages ago.”

  Wow. I was not expecting this conversation at all. When I’d called Olivia to see if she was busy, all I wanted was a chance to hang out with someone instead of moping alone at home, and I’m so mixed up about JJ that hanging out with her wasn’t going to be the relaxing afternoon I needed. “It’s okay,” I mumble, unsure of what else to say.

  “It’s really not. But thank you.”

  “I’m not hugging you in the middle of the store or anything,” I add. “Apology accepted. It’s nice to have a friend who isn’t using me to get to one of my brothers.” I don’t know where that came from, I barely stop myself from clapping my hands over my mouth to bring the words back in.

  Instead, I busy myself flipping through racks of clothes, hunting for anything that catches my eye. I haven’t been back to this mall since Jack and I kidnapped Hannah and forced her to tell Trevor she liked him and we schemed to get Hunter and Lisa together. Was that only two months ago? It feels like longer.

  “What about JJ? I see her hanging out with you guys all the time. Tyler said she’s helping you train for that race.” Olivia pulls out a flimsy-looking lime green strapless dress with the most hideous design splashed across the front. It looks like an abstract version of a package of Cheetos.

  “That’s hideous. You have to try it on.” I laugh. “I
’m pretty sure JJ is there for Jack,” I add, sadness tugging at my chest.

  Olivia eyes me over the pile of clothes in her arms. “You know, whenever I see her, all she does is talk about you. I was surprised when you called me and not her to hang out today.”

  “What?” I nearly drop the pile in my arms at Oliva’s words. “That’s, um…oh.” Why am I so tongue-tied, isn’t this what I wanted? Proof that JJ wanted to be my friend, not to flirt with my brothers? I ignore the little spark that ignites in my chest at Olivia’s words.

  We take our clothes to the dressing room to try on, laughing at the ridiculous lime green dress when Olivia puts it on. It’s even more hideous than it looked on the hanger. We fall into easy conversation, talking about everything and nothing. Olivia’s been babysitting her younger siblings in the morning most of the summer, she’s saving up her money to go on a trip to Europe after graduation with Tyler. Two years should be enough time to have a decent chunk of money to travel with.

  We’re standing in line at the food court, waiting to get some Chinese food, when my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. Tapping to accept the call, Olivia and I smoosh our faces together so we can both see the screen.

  “Hi!” we call, as Lisa and Hannah’s smooshed faces appear on my phone.

  “Oh my god, hi!” Hannah’s bouncing with excitement, good thing it looks like Lisa is holding the phone still. “What are you guys doing? I’m so happy to see you both!”

  Laughing, Olivia flips her hair over her shoulder. “Just having a girl’s day, doing a little shopping. How are you guys? How’s PSB? Is it intense?”