“You have to watch it a few times to appreciate it,” Logan said. “Everyone thinks it’s dumb the first time.”
“It is dumb,” Phil said dryly.
“Dad! Shh.” Katie elbowed him in his side. “You can’t talk through the whole movie!”
It was almost 2:00 a.m. before the kids were in their bedrooms and Lina and Phil were able to bring the gifts up from the basement where they were stowed away.
“You outdid yourself,” Phil said as he admired the large assortment of wrapped packages beneath the Christmas tree. “It will take them half the day to open those.”
“It’s no more than normal. And some are for you.”
“I’m teasing you. It’s late. I’m going to set the alarm and head downstairs.”
“Okay.” She touched his hand. “Thanks.”
“Good night.” He leaned in and brushed his lips over her cheek. “Sleep well.”
“Good night.” The warmth of his lips lingered on her cheek as she watched him leave the room. She took a final look at the Christmas tree before making her way upstairs.
Lina turned in to Phil’s warm body, her hands sliding over his chest as she slipped her leg between his. She was dreaming, and she didn’t want to wake up because it felt too good. She began running her lips along his jaw, her tongue darting out to taste him. Never had a dream felt so real. She could even smell him. Her whole body stilled and her eyes opened.
She wasn’t dreaming. “What are you doing here?” She scrambled back from him, barely able to make out his features in the darkened room.
“You came to me.”
“What?” She sat up, clutching the sheet against her chest as she looked around. She was in the basement. “Oh my God. I can’t believe this.”
She felt the mattress shift and then Phil’s warm hand sliding up her arm. “Look at me.”
“No.”
“Lina.” He clasped her shoulder, pushing her back down on the bed. “Look at me.”
She was naked. She’d fallen asleep in a nightgown, but she’d obviously removed it before climbing into his bed. She felt his hand slide over her hip to her stomach. “Don’t.”
“Shh.” He brushed his lips over hers. “Don’t think. Just feel.” He took the kiss deeper, his warm tongue stroking hers.
There was no way she could resist him. Her body had been craving his since the moment he walked into the kitchen, and she wasn’t strong enough to stop, not when he was touching her like a man who knew her body better than she did. She slid her hands up over his muscular shoulders and around his neck, offering her surrender, and he moaned deeply as he settled himself between her thighs.
“Do you know why you came to me?” he asked minutes later as he thrust his body into hers. “Because you’re mine, Lina,” he said, driving into her again. “You were made for me. You know that’s true, don’t you?” He paused, his body deep in hers, the muscles of his arms and shoulders straining as he held himself over her. “Tell me.”
“No,” she whispered, hating the power she knew he had over her.
“Why are you fighting this?”
“Stop talking.”
“I know I hurt you, but I promise, if you’ll let me I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you.” He lowered his mouth over hers as his body again began to move.
Lina was almost asleep, her body tangled with Phil’s, when he asked the question that had probably been consuming him for two months. “Were you with him?”
“No.”
He released a breath.
“You had sex with him?” Adele whispered within five minutes of arriving the following afternoon.
“Adele,” Lina hissed, grabbing her arm and backing her into the empty dining room. “Shh. I have a house full of people.”
“I told you this would happen, didn’t I? And you said, ‘Oh no, I would never do that.’”
“He told you?”
“He didn’t have to. He has that whole, I got laid for the first time in months look all over him. He’s strutting around like a fucking peacock.”
“Oh God.” Lina dropped her face into her hands. “It wasn’t my fault.”
“What did he do, get you drunk?”
“No. It wasn’t his fault.”
“So, what, your bodies just merged on their own?”
“Kind of. It was a temporary lapse, that’s all. It was neither of our faults.”
“How many times did you have this ‘temporary lapse’ that was neither of your faults?” Adele asked. “I’m guessing more than once.”
“Okay, now you’re starting to sound like Mom. Let’s drop it.”
“You’re back with Phil?”
Lina spun around at the sound of her mother’s voice. “What?”
“Phil, he seems happy. Did you work things out?”
“No, he got laid last night,” Adele said.
“Adele!” Lina glared at her.
“What, you don’t think she’d figure it out?”
“Figure what out?” Drew asked as he joined them.
“Nothing,” Lina said.
“Lina and Phil had sex last night,” Alice said.
“Okay.” Lina held up her hands. “No more! And if you don’t mind, I’m going to get back to the kitchen.” She left the dining room and walked straight into Phil.
“Whoa.” His hands clasped her hips.
“Stop smiling,” she whispered, fisting his shirt. “My entire family knows we had sex because of you.”
“What?” He frowned down at her.
“That’s right. Just one look at you and they could tell. So stop smiling.”
Whereas Christmas Eve included only the immediate family in the Hunter household, Christmas day was the one time a year both Lina and Phil’s families combined for a joint celebration. Like she had on the previous day, Lina felt as if Phil had never left, watching him seamlessly fall back into his role of host as he made drinks, kept the fire going, adjusted the thermostat when the house felt too warm and otherwise acted like the man of the house. She kept expecting to wake up out of a dream and realize Phil had never actually moved out.
Only his mother’s behavior kept her rooted in reality, as she was teary-eyed one minute and hugging Lina the next. “I know he broke his vows to you, but he loves you and it breaks my heart to see the two of you apart,” Mrs. Hunter said to Lina when she managed to pull her into a quiet corner. “Can’t you find it in your heart to forgive him?”
Lina’s throat constricted as she met Susan Hunter’s tear-filled eyes. “It’s complicated,” Lina whispered, squeezing Susan’s hands.
“I love you like you’re one of my own, so I’m going to speak to you like you’re one of my own. No marriage is perfect and no person is perfect. Forgiveness is part of being a good Christian. Think about your children.”
“Mom.” Phil was behind his mother, his hands sliding down her arms. “This isn’t the time or the place for whatever you’re saying.”
“I—”
“Jeanie is looking for you in the kitchen,” he said as he gently nudged her away from Lina. “Let me talk to my wife.”
“It’s fine,” Lina assured Phil as soon as his mother walked away.
“No it isn’t. It’s not her place.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works with parents.”
“How come you didn’t tell me Drew was coming?”
“Because it was none of your business. You’re a guest this year too.” When she attempted to step around him, he wrapped his fingers around her upper arm.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t live here anymore.” She yanked her arm from his grasp. “You don’t get a say in the guest list.”
“What did I do?” He frowned down at her. “Why are you suddenly angry at me?”
“You’re acting like you still live here, and you don’t.”
“How do you want me to act? I’m trying to help you.”
Lina
drew in a deep breath. She was being completely unreasonable. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. I just don’t want you to think anything has changed because of last night.”
“Why are you trying to convince yourself you don’t want this? You came to me in your sleep. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“It was a temporary lapse.”
“Oh, is that what it was?” He slid one hand along the side of her jaw, tilting her head back. “That’s not what your eyes tell me.”
“You’re just seeing what you want to see.” Her hands pressed against his abdomen.
“I don’t think so.”
“You’re not about to have another lapse right in front of everybody, are you?”
Lina jumped back at the sound of Adele’s voice. “We’re just talking.”
“Yeah that’s what it looked like.”
“This is none of your business, Adele,” Phil said shortly. “No one asked for your opinion.”
“Stop.” Lina touched his chest. “It’s Christmas and we have a house full of people. We’ll talk later.”
Lina was finishing up the dishes after the last guest departed when she felt a pair of strong hands slide up her back to her shoulders. “Let me stay another night,” Phil said against her ear.
“No.” She turned off the water and stepped away from the sink, putting distance between them.
“It’s still Christmas. I’ll leave tomorrow.”
“No,” she whispered. “We’re not having a repeat of last night.”
“Why not?”
“Nothing’s changed. Last night I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t let myself think. But I am now, and I’m not going back there.”
“You still love me. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. I could feel it in your body when you were under me—”
“Stop!” she hissed, pressing her fingers over his lips. “They’ll hear you.”
“I don’t care. I’m fighting for them too.”
“No.” Lina shook her head. “I’m finding myself. I can’t do that with you. You swallowed me.”
“Swallowed you?” He frowned. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I got a job. Did you know I have a job?”
“Yes, I heard.”
“You never wanted me to work.”
“I never discouraged you from working.”
“You never encouraged me to.”
“You never showed the slightest interest in working outside our home. If it was something I knew you wanted, I would have been a hundred percent behind it.”
“You’re my husband. You should have been encouraging me to expand my world. Instead you just let my whole existence revolve around you.”
“Are you looking for reasons to hate me?”
“No. I’m just telling you how I feel.”
“You were happy, Lina. We were happy. The stress with Katie…” He paused. “We had one bad year. Don’t go back now and redefine the last two and a half decades so you can find a way to stay angry with me.”
“I’m not.”
“I think that’s exactly what you’re doing. But it’s not going to work. You can’t delete all those years—all those memories.”
As she met his eyes she felt their connection pulsing between them, and she broke their gaze. “It’s late. You need to go home.”
Lina looked guiltily at the cell phone on her bedside stand. She’d turned it on long enough to send Nick a “Merry Christmas” text earlier in the day but knew he would be expecting a phone call, a phone call she couldn’t bring herself to make after spending the night in Phil’s bed. She linked her hands behind her neck and dropped her chin onto her chest, hating the guilt twisting in her stomach, but knowing it was too late to undo the betrayal she was sure Nick would feel.
It was almost 1:00 a.m. when Lina reached for her cell phone, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to quiet her mind enough to fall asleep until she spoke to him. The voice greeting her was deep and sleep filled.
“I’m sorry for waking you.”
“Everything okay?” Nick asked.
“I slept with him,” she whispered, and then unexpectedly began to cry. “I’m so sorry.”
“Lina, no. Don’t cry.”
“You’ve been so wonderful to me. I don’t know how I would have made it through the past two months without you, and I feel so guilty. I don’t know how it happened. I wasn’t planning it. I don’t know why I went to him.”
“Shh—don’t do this to yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true. Listen to me. I told you the morning after you spent the night at my house that you weren’t emotionally ready for another relationship, and that’s still true. If anyone should feel guilty it’s me. I’ve repeatedly exercised poor judgment with you. I shouldn’t be a factor in your decision making. If you want to sleep with your estranged husband, you shouldn’t have to worry about what I’m feeling or thinking.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Oh, Lina,” he sighed. “I’ll be fine. My eyes are wide open, remember?”
“Does this mean we can’t talk?”
“Only if that’s what you want it to mean.”
44
“We can leave as soon as we finish eating,” Katie told Matt as he pulled into the parking lot outside the restaurant where they were meeting her father for dinner. “The whole thing is stupid anyway. I don’t care what he says.” She hated that Matt was nervous. He’d been quiet since picking her up at her house, and with his freshly shaven face and toned-down hair, it was obvious he’d spent extra care on his appearance.
“It’s better if he likes me,” Matt said. “I don’t want to start sneaking around.”
“But we would,” she said, her own anxieties kicking in.
Matt turned to her then, his dark eyes meeting hers. “No one is keeping me from you.”
Her father stood as they approached his table, obviously coming straight from work in a dark suit, and Katie felt Matt’s whole body stiffen.
“Matt, how are you?” He held out his hand.
“Good.” Matt returned his handshake.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” Katie said. “I have homework.” She sat on her father’s left, directly across from Matt.
“If you’re a meat eater, their filet is excellent,” he told Matt as they looked at their menus.
“Sounds good.” Matt closed his menu.
“So.” Phil turned his attention to Matt as soon as the waiter left with their order. “Last time we talked you were playing in a band and working at a lumberyard, I believe. Is that still accurate?”
“You know it is,” Katie said. “You asked me that last week.”
“And now I’m asking Matt.”
“You already know the answer,” Katie grumbled.
“Yeah, it’s still accurate,” Matt answered.
“Still no plans to go to college?”
“He’s a musician,” Katie answered. “He doesn’t need college to do that.”
“I think Matt is capable of speaking for himself.”
“I’m not going to college,” Matt answered. “School isn’t really my thing.”
“What if the band doesn’t work out? Do you—”
“It’s going to work out,” Katie interrupted. “He’s amazing.”
“That’s good to hear,” Phil said, his focus remaining on Matt. “How serious are you about my daughter?”
“Dad!” Katie glared at him. “You wouldn’t ask one of Megan’s boyfriends that question.”
“Sure I would.”
“You never even made one come to dinner.”
Her father pushed back his chair. “Matt, excuse us for a minute.”
“What?” Katie asked as soon as they stopped in a private corner just inside the bar.
“This is going to be easy or difficult,” her father said. “It’s all up to you. I came here to get
to know him, and that’s going to require speaking to him.”
“You don’t have to ask him embarrassing questions.” Katie crossed her arms over her chest. “You wouldn’t be doing this to Megan.”
“This isn’t about Megan. This is about you, and your history is a little different than your sister’s, and we both know it. So I’m going to take a bit more care with you.”
Katie dropped her eyes. “It’s so unfair. You treat me like I’m a little kid.”
“No, I treat you like you’re my daughter. You care about this boy. You’re spending a great deal of time with him, so I want to get to know him. What are you afraid of?”
“Nothing.”
“Katie?” he prompted.
“I don’t want you to hurt him.”
“Hurt him?” He frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
She lifted her gaze back to his. “By acting like he isn’t good enough for me or something.”
He observed her in silence for several seconds. “I’ll do my best.”
Lina was getting ready for bed when Phil called to let her know how the dinner went. “I knew you would like him if you gave him a chance,” she said.
“‘Like’ is generous. He was tolerable, but considering his tattoos were covered, that may have played in his favor.”
“You’re not that shallow.”
“No, but just the same, I’m not sure what you’re seeing. The kid’s out of high school. Why can’t she date a boy her own age?”
“She’ll be seventeen next month. They are a year and a half apart. He’s had a rough life by no fault of his own. Why don’t you reach into that Catholic heart of yours and try not to be so judgmental?”
“I’m her father. I’m supposed to judge people that come into my children’s lives, especially hers. She doesn’t exactly have a great track record. He looks like he could do drugs.”
“He doesn’t do drugs.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. He’s a hundred percent against drug use.” She hesitated, weighing Matt’s trust in her against Phil’s right to know about the boy Katie was dating. “His mom died of a drug overdose—he was the one who found her.”
A White Picket Fence Page 27
