Broken, Bruised, and Brave

by L. A. Zoe

  Despite his readiness to defend SeeJai, Greco hooked Rhinegold’s curiosity. He didn’t want SeeJai with a weirdo pervert, but he wanted to hear the story.

  Ami said, “Young stuff. Pretend young stuff.”

  “What?” Rhinegold said. “You guys do children now?”

  “No, no, man!” Greco said. “That’s crazy, gets the FBI up your ass, big-time. And this guy, he’s too smart for that.”

  “Just pretends,” Ami added. “The girl has to be at least eighteen. He wants a birth certificate and picture I.D., if you can believe that. Super careful.”

  “He’s got a lot to lose,” Greco said.

  “A LOT to lose,” Ami added.

  “He’s a billionaire,” Greco said.

  “We got that part,” Rhinegold said.

  “And I’m nineteen,” SeeJai said. “I’m legal.”

  Rhinegold took a long gulp of cold Mississippi Bottom Mud, and suddenly got it. “He wants actresses.”

  “Right on.”

  “SeeJai’s small and thin. She could pretend to be—”

  “Any age he wants her,” Ami added.

  “Sucker ought to be—”

  Greco said, “Hey, man, he’s not hurting any real kids, so what’s the harm? Through our contact, he’s got seven young ladies he’s supporting now.”

  “But dudes like that, they always want more,” Ami added.

  “More money, more fancy clothes, more mansions, more Italian sports cars—and more hot babes,” Greco said.

  Ami looked around, then leaned toward Rhinegold and SeeJai, and whispered, “He gave all of them one hundred grand Christmas bonuses.”

  “On top of gold necklaces,” Greco said.

  “Probably blew over a million just for the holidays,” Ami said.

  “Why not?” Greco said. “Dude like that, he makes ten million just by waking up in the morning. When you have more money than the treasury department of Peru, why not spend it on getting laid the way he likes?”

  “Whatever makes his dick hard,” Ami said. “What’s money compared to a stiff cock? Huh, cupcakes? Especially when you’re just a few notches below Bill Gates himself.”

  “Where do you two come in?” Rhinegold asked.

  “We get a finder’s fee.”

  “If Ami knows this other pimp, what’re you doing here?” Rhinegold asked Greco.

  “Professional courtesy,” Ami said. “Because you’re her old man, and you work for Greco.”

  “Freelance,” Rhinegold said.

  “We don’t want a war,” Greco said. “I’ve told you guys, I want to kill competitors, I’ll deal drugs.”

  “And I’d kill you first,” Ami said.

  “I hear that,” Greco said. “Besides, this is big enough we can split the sugar and everybody’s fat and happy.”

  SeeJai pushed her chair away from the table. “I don’t believe this.”

  “It’s a part-time gig,” Greco said. “You’d only do it like once every two months.”

  “My acquaintance doesn’t want him taking her ladies for granted,” Ami said.

  “Fifty grand a month,” Greco said in a low but excited voice. “For one night every two months. Six nights a year.”

  “This is such bullshit,” SeeJai said.

  Ami said, “How much do you make waiting tables at that veggie joint, honey pie?”

  “A lot,” SeeJai said in a weak voice.

  “Not no fifty grand,” Greco said. He signaled the waitress for his third Dewars. “You won’t make fifty grand if you work lunch to close seven days a week for a year.”

  “I’m not a whore.”

  “Last thing this client wants. He wants an innocent baby doll who’s as legal as cheeseburgers, apple pie, and the Fourth of July. No force. No pain. No bondage. You freak out, you can walk away any time.”

  Rhinegold watched the wheels spin in SeeJai’s mind through the throbbing, twitching, tensing muscles of her face.

  What would he do in her place? He didn’t know. In one year she’d clear six hundred grand. Seven if you added the Christmas bonus.

  “You want college, chocolate cookie?” Ami said. “He pays. The seven already on board? They’re all going to classes, a couple to the Cromwell School of Fine Arts. La dee-dee dah-dah.”

  Rhinegold couldn’t help but whistle. Keara and Helena went there. Maybe they knew some of those prostitutes and never even dreamed the girls worked as sex actresses for a billionaire.

  “Any local school accepts you, he pays the tuition,” Greco said. “Of course, the school doesn’t know it. He won’t let the money be traced back to him, but he pays it.”

  “I’m not just a piece of meat,” SeeJai said.

  “Sugar buns, in this world you make money by helping other people, ain’t that right, Rhinegold?”

  Reluctantly, he nodded. He agreed with that concept, though didn’t want SeeJai to think he approved of sex for pay.

  “The more you help other people, the more money you make. At that restaurant, you help hungry people want to think they’re saving the cute animals or their own hearts, or they just like the food. Okay, fair enough, but almost anybody can wait tables. It’s not easy—I’ve done it, sweetums, I’ve done it—but it’s not a complicated skill, either. Hear what I’m saying?”

  “I’m not a whore,” SeeJai said.

  Greco sipped his drink and rolled his eyes.

  Ami continued, “It’s hard enough you make a lot more than a minimum wage fast food cook, but a lot less than a doctor, right? You make this rich guy happy, you’re supplying a need almost nobody else can. You got the right body, the right kind of sweet beautiful face he wants. Add some acting, and the righteous dirty deed itself, and you’re a combination he can’t find in a mall window display or order online. So you’re worth a lot more.”

  “A lot,” Greco said.

  “To us, too,” Ami said. “Just for finding you. A year from now you’ll thank us.”

  SeeJai stood up. “I’m not some toy this guy can buy.”

  When Rhinegold pushed open the front door, the wind blew it back, nearly smashing his nose.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  A Bad Night

  I lay in bed staring up at the dark ceiling, wishing I could see the stars.

  The odors of cumin, oregano, and turmeric powder clung to my face. Wouldn’t it be nice to come home from work without carrying a doggy bag, and fix a nice, late-night dinner for myself and Rhinegold in a real kitchen?

  The toilet flushed. Was it Rhinegold finishing up, or old Mr. Chu next to us? Hard to tell.

  When we lived in the condemned house, I dreamed of getting a small room. Now we lived in that room, and I dreamed of living again in a house. But not condemned. Our own house.

  All I had to do was play along with Greco and Ami’s friend’s rich perv. I could buy a decent house, get a college degree, move on to a good job, set Rhinegold up in a business, and still have a bunch leftover to invest and live on for the rest of my life.

  Rhinegold washed his hands, and joined me under the covers. When our mouths got close enough, I couldn’t see the mist of our breaths.

  “You know something?” I said as he hugged me close. “I can’t wait to find out what it feels like to make love with no clothes on.”

  “Just wait a few months,” Rhinegold murmured into my ear, then gave it a lick.

  “The fireplace was warmer,” I said.

  “Only on the front side.” His hand cupped my butt.

  Then he lowered his mouth, shutting me up, and our tongues slow-danced to our own inner music. He pulled me close, and even through my wool sweater and his two t-shirts, our hearts thumped together in a rising beat.

  His lips, hot, wet, and pressing mine with abandonment. I wanted to give in, to let myself open, to feel his large weight over me, taking me, invading me, savoring me like a delicious morsel of meat in vegetable soup.

  But I broke my mouth free, and said, “Have you ever made love to a lesbian?�
�

  Silly, I know. But all of a sudden I wanted to know.

  He looked at me as though I must have eaten too many veggie burgers. “Where’d THAT come from?”

  “I just wondered. If you’d know the difference between making love to a normal straight woman and a lesbian.”

  He sighed and rolled his eyes. I didn’t blame him. “Not that I know of, all right? Why? Are you still worried about your sexuality? I thought we cleared that up.”

  “I still enjoy your manhood,” I said, my voice charged with enthusiasm.

  “Good.” He leaned closer. “Are you all right? Am I doing something makes you uncomfortable?”

  “Uncomfortably in lust,” I said, and let him kiss me again.

  And again I moaned with lust as a fire burned between my legs. I wanted to cling to him forever. Lock lips and savor his salty, spicy mouth. Energy pulsed from our groins to our mouths, joined, and returned.

  His hand crept inside the back of my sweater and crawled along my bare naked spine, tickling and tingling.

  I wanted to knead his pecs, squeezing and grabbing like men did to women’s breasts.

  We lay a long time like that, rocking, pressing, his fingertips rubbing my nipples hard.

  Too long. Maybe I was tired from working hard all evening. I had the drive, but couldn’t get it out of first gear, so it just thrummed loud and went nowhere slowly.

  I snapped my mouth free again, and, panting, said, “Do you ever think about doing it with her?”

  He gave me a now you really are talking crazy look. “Her? Who?”

  “Keara. No, that’s just a sick joke. Who do you think I’m talking about? Helena.”

  He fell to the side, onto his back. “Oh for Christ’s sake. That’s what this is about? You’re jealous?”

  “Of course not. I just want to know.”

  He rolled back to his side, facing me, our eyes so close staring at him nearly made me cross-eyed. Arm around my back where, I realized, it belonged.

  “If I wanted to be with her, I’d be with her. Can’t you just accept that? If she’s chasing me, what can I do? Look, call it upper class bullshit if you want to, but I was raised to be polite to girls. A man doesn’t want a woman, what’s he do? He smiles and remains polite, and pretends he doesn’t notice her throwing her body at him. He doesn’t embarrass her. Certainly not in public. He treats her like a buddy. Sooner or later she finds a guy who does like her. Or at least she gets the message and, if she has half the pride and manners her mother’s supposed to teach her, she avoids him.”

  “What about today? What’d you think Greco and Ami wanted to talk to you and me together about?”

  “Something like they proposed, though I had no idea it was anything so big.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell them no?”

  “I did. Lots of times, but Greco kept insisting, and then said it was something different. Not just going to motel rooms and the usual stuff.” Rhinegold shrugged, then said, “I’m sorry. I knew you’d hate it, but escorting his escorts is my main gig. And I hoped hearing it again from you would help them get the message.”

  “Free drinks,” I muttered.

  “A waste of time, I know. I’m sorry, but I think they got the message it’s you refusing, not me for you.”

  Our kissing warmed up the bed, but then the cold chill again penetrated the blankets.

  “What would you do I said yes?” I asked him.

  “To the offer?”

  “What else? If I said sure, for fifty grand a month I’ll wear a pink ribbon in my hair and ruffled panties and screw the perverted old goat?”

  He grinned, but his eyes remained dark and serious. “Would you really?”

  “I’m just asking what if. What if I said yes to the deal?”

  I could hardly believe the voice came out of my own throat. Why? Why weren’t we already busy screwing instead of talking so much about useless shit?

  The radiator clanged like a fire alarm. The smile vanished from Rhinegold’s face.

  “Walk out,” he said.

  “Walk out?”

  “Walk out. Away. However you want to put it. Back here to pack a few things, then—” He slid his palms and fingers together in one fast slap.

  “Straight up?” I asked.

  “For real as a stroke.”

  “How come you didn’t tell me?”

  “I wanted you to decide for yourself.”

  I thought that one over. “You mean, you would’ve let me?”

  “It was up to you, SeeJai. Your body, your choice—isn’t that the mantra? I wouldn’t even blame you. Not for five figures a month for one night’s work. I’m not judgmental about the rich dude. He’s not hurting any kids, and he’s taking good care of the seven women. I call it win-win all the way around, except if they got any jealous boyfriends.”

  “Like you?”

  “I’m no good at sharing.”

  “You know I’d still want you. We’d buy a house together, and I’d help you start your business, and buy whatever you want.”

  Rhinegold looked like a knight whose lady fair just married the evil duke but wanted to keep him on the side. He slowly shook his head. “If I couldn’t pay half the bills here, I couldn’t sleep here. If anybody’s obligated to support me, it’s Father, and I don’t accept anything from him.”

  “You ate and drank a lot Friday night.”

  “A party.”

  We kissed again, and this time I thought I meant it. I tried to mean it.

  But something still ate up my insides. While Rhinegold continued to savor my kisses like a fine wine, I got impatient. My stomach burned. My pussy ached. I pulled him closer to me, as though I could merge with him. Absorb him into my chest, my heart.

  I groaned, and my lower back and hips arched to grind my groin against his.

  “Just screw me,” I told him, gasping. “Just do it—now!”

  His lips left my mouth, and he pressed my head to his chest while I sobbed.

  “Shhh,” he cooed. “It’s okay.”

  “It’s NOT okay!” I aimed for the side of his head, but slugged his ear.

  “You don’t have to force yourself,” he said. “If you don’t feel like it, you don’t. It’s okay.”

  “I feel like it!” I kicked out, then tried to knee his groin, but the sheet and blankets tangled our legs.

  Outside on the street, a car drove by with rap thumping louder than an atomic bomb.

  The bastard tried to stroke my back like I was his pet dog. Woof woof, move on over, Rover. I tried to knock his arm off me.

  “I can’t treat you like that,” Rhinegold said. “You’re … a golden angel, not—”

  “A whore.”

  “That’s right. You said no today, didn’t you?”

  “I don’t care.”

  When my breathing slowed down, and my heart no longer ripped at my chest like a grind saw, I hugged him back.

  He kissed my hair, and then that seemed sweet and loving.

  He loved me. I loved him, but I was the problem. I was the red-haired stepchild. I didn’t understand things like how he was supposed to remain polite to Helena. She wasn’t polite to me. I didn’t realize I wasn’t supposed to demand quick sex just because I wasn’t in the mood to love him back as he deserved.

  And I was angry he didn’t tell me to refuse Greco and Ami’s offer. Left all the responsibility on me. I’d still say no. No way did I want to be a prostitute, even such a highly paid one. And I wanted to know he felt the same way.

  Then, not now. At the time, not later.

  Couldn’t he have found a way to tell me it was my decision, but he didn’t want me to accept it?

  But now I was already beginning to understand why Areetha and other women I’d known always complained about guys. Why they never seemed to understand what we wanted.

  Only, everything.

  Didn’t they?

  But I was the novice in love, the inexperienced one. Mom didn’t teach me any
more about love than how to cook. I had to learn everything on my own.

  Yet she knew. When she met Georgie, she knew how to return his love. And now she could even cook a halfway decent meal. The other night, not one burned dish. I didn’t know she had that in her.

  She even showed concern for me. I sure wasn’t ready for that. Growing up, I thought the phrase ’a mother’s love’ referred only to how much they grieved when the wrong child died.

  “You’re not into it,” Rhinegold said. “I can feel part of you holding back. Maybe because of Greco and Ami, I don’t know. Maybe you’re mad at me for asking you to at least talk to them. Or because I didn’t beat their asses for you.”

  “No.”

  “I don’t know. Or maybe some other reason. But you’re not all there. I can’t let you go through the motions just to make me happy.”

  “I’m trying,” I said, near tears. “I’m trying to get into it too.”

  “It’s all right. We’re cold, we’re tired. Not every night is going to be perfect. Even Bruce Lee had bad days.”

  “Oh, God.” I had to grin despite my heaving chest. Sex like kung fu—but, instinctively, I recognized what he meant. This wasn’t one of my better days. I liked keeping my hair clipped short because it eliminated bad hair days, but nothing could stop bad sex nights.

  But if Mom could re-learn how to cook and even how to love, maybe I could learn how to love.

  Or, at least, how to cook something more difficult than fried eggs.

  “I enjoy sex with you,” he said. “I crave sex with you, okay? I’m in overwhelming lust with you. But with you, not just a body, no matter how hot. Because it’s you I’m in love with. Get it? I in lust with your body, in love with you.”

  I sighed. His arm circled my waist like a chain. “I love you, Rhinegold. But I have to learn how to do it right. I haven’t had any practice. I was just thinking, if Mom can fall in love with Georgie, after all the years of depression over JaeSea, I should be able to figure out how to show you I love you.”