Book Read Free

Do Elephants Jump?

Page 32

by David Feldman


  Raincoats, dry-cleaning of

  “Raining cats and dogs”

  “Raise hackles”

  Raisins

  cereal boxes and

  seeded grapes and

  Ranchers’ boots on fence posts

  Razor blades, hotel slots for

  Razors, men’s versus women’s

  “Read the riot act”

  “Real McCoys”

  Rear admiral, origins of term

  Rear-view mirrors, day/night switch on automobile

  Receipts, cash register, color of

  Records, vinyl, speeds of

  Recreational vehicles and wheel covers

  Recyclable plastics, numbers on

  Recycling of newspaper ink

  Red

  color of beef

  eyes in photographs

  paint on coins

  “Red cent”

  “Red herring”

  Red lights, versus green lights, on boats and airplanes

  “Red tape”

  Red Wings, Detroit, octopus throwing and

  “Red-letter day”

  Redshirting in college football

  Refrigeration of opened food jars

  Refrigerators

  location of freezers in

  smell of new

  thermometers in

  Relative humidity, during rain

  Remote controls, men versus women and

  Repair shops, backlogs and

  Restaurants

  coffee, versus home-brewed

  vertical rulers near entrances of

  Restrooms, group visits by females to

  Revolving doors, appearance of, in big cities

  Reynolds Wrap, texture of two sides of

  Rhode Island, origins of name

  Ribbons, blue

  Rice cakes, structural integrity of

  Rice Krispies

  noises of

  profession of Snap!

  “Right wing”

  “Rigmarole”

  Rings, nose, bulls and

  Rinks, ice, temperature of resurfacing water in

  “Riot Act [1716]”

  Roaches

  automobiles and

  position of dead

  reactions to light

  Roads

  blacktop, coloring of

  fastening of lane reflectors on

  versus bridges, in freezing characteristics

  Robes, black, and judges

  Rocking in zoo animals

  Rodents and water sippers

  Roller skating rinks, music in

  Rolls

  coldness of airline

  versus buns

  Roman chariots, flimsiness of

  Roman numerals

  calculations with

  copyright notices in movie credits and

  on clocks

  Roofs, gravel on

  Roosevelt, Teddy, and San Juan Hill horses

  Roosters, crowing and

  Root beer

  carbonation in

  foam of

  Rubble, Betty

  nonappearance in Flintstones vitamins

  vocation of

  Ruins, layers of

  Rulers, vertical, in restaurant entrances

  Run amok

  Runny noses

  cold weather and

  kids versus adults

  Rust, dental fillings and

  RVs and wheel covers

  “Rx”

  S.O.S Pads, origins of

  “Sacked [fired]”

  Sacks, paper

  jagged edges on

  names on

  Safety caps, aspirin, 100–count bottles of

  Safety pins, gold versus silver

  Saffron, expense of

  Sailors, bell bottom trousers and

  “Salad days”

  Salads, restaurant, celery in

  Saloon doors in Old West

  Salt

  and pepper, as table condiments

  in oceans

  packaged, sugar as ingredient in

  round containers and

  storage bins on highway and

  versus sand, to treat icy roads

  Salutes, military, origins of

  San Francisco, sourdough bread in

  Sand

  in pockets of new jeans

  storage bins on highway and

  versus salt, to treat icy roads

  Sandbags, disposal of

  Sardines, fresh, nonexistence in supermarkets

  “Sawbuck [ten-dollar bill]”

  Sawdust on floor of bars

  Scabs, itchiness of

  Scars, hair growth and

  “Schneider”

  School clocks, backward clicking of minute hands in

  Schools, CPR training in

  Scissors, sewing, and paper cutting

  “Scot-free”

  “Scotland Yard”

  Scotsmen and kilts

  Screen doors, location of handles on

  Screwdrivers, reasons for Philips

  Scuba masks, spitting into

  Sea gulls in parking lots

  Sea level, measurement of

  Seas versus oceans, differences between

  Seat belts

  and shoulder straps in airplanes

  in buses

  in taxicabs

  Secretary as U.S. government department head designation

  “Seed [tournament ranking]”

  “Seeing stars,” head injuries and

  Self-service versus full-service, pricing of, at gas stations

  “Semi,” origins of term

  “Semimonthly”

  “Semiweekly”

  Serrated knives, lack of, in place settings

  Settling in houses

  Seven-layer cakes and missing layers

  Seventy-two degrees, human comfort at

  Sewing scissors and paper cutting

  Shampoo bottles, notches on bottom of

  Shampoo labels, “FD&C” on label of

  Shampoos

  colored, white suds and

  lathering of

  number of applications

  Shaving of armpits, women and

  Sheets

  irregular, proliferation of

  queen-size, size of

  Sheriffs’ badges, shape of

  Shirts

  buttons on men’s versus women’s

  men’s, pins in

  single-needle stitching in

  starch on

  Shoe laces

  length in athletic shoes

  untied, in shoe stores

  Shoe sizes, differences between

  Shoes

  lace length in shoe stores

  layers on

  of deceased, at funerals

  penny loafers

  single, on side of road

  tied to autos, at weddings

  uncomfortable, and women

  untied laces in stores

  wing-tip, holes in

  “Shoofly pie”

  Shopping, female proclivity toward

  Shopping malls, doors at entrance of

  “Short shrift”

  Shoulder straps and seat belts in airplanes

  Shredded Wheat packages, Niagara Falls on

  “Shrift”

  Shrimp, baby, peeling and cleaning of

  “Shrive”

  “Siamese twins”

  “Sic,” as dog command

  Side vents in automobile windows

  “Sideburns”

  Sidewalks

  cracks on

  glitter on

  Silica gel packs in electronics boxes

  Silos, round shape of

  Silver fillings, rusting of

  Silverstone, versus Teflon

  Singers, American accents of foreign

  Single-needle stitching in shirts

  Sinks, overflow mechanisms on

  Siskel, Gene, versus Roger Ebert, billing of
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  Skating music, roller rinks and

  Skating, figure, and dizziness

  Ski poles, downhill

  “Skidoo”

  Skunks, smell of

  Skyscrapers, bricks in

  Skytyping, versus skywriting

  Skywriting

  techniques of

  versus skytyping

  Sleep

  babies and

  drowsiness after meals

  eye position

  heat and effect on

  twitching during

  “Slippery When Wet” signs, location of

  “Small fry”

  Smell of impending rain

  Smiling in old photographs

  Smoke from soda bottles

  Snack foods and prepricing

  Snake emblems on ambulances

  Snakes

  sneezing

  tongues

  Snap! [of Rice Krispies], profession of

  “Snap! Crackle! And Pop!” of Rice Krispies

  Sneezing

  eye closure during

  looking up while

  pepper and

  snakes and

  Snickers, wavy marks on bottom of

  Sniffing, boxers and

  Snoring, age differences and

  Snow and cold weather

  “Snow” on television

  Soap, Ivory, purity of

  Soaping of retail windows

  Soaps, colored, white suds and

  Social Security cards, lamination of

  Social Security numbers

  fifth digit of

  reassignment of

  sequence of

  Socks

  angle of

  disappearance of

  men’s, coloring of toes on

  “Soda jerk”

  Soft drinks

  bottles, holes on bottom of

  brominated vegetable oil in

  calorie constituents

  effect of container sizes and taste

  filling of bottles of

  finger as fizziness reduction agent

  fizziness in plastic cups

  fizziness of soda with ice cream

  fizziness over ice

  freezing of, in machines

  Kool-Aid and metal containers

  machines, “Use Correct Change” light on

  phenylalanine as ingredient in

  pinholes on bottle caps of

  root beer, foam of

  smoke of

  “sodium-free” labels

  Soles, sunburn and

  “Son of a gun”

  Sonic booms, frequency of

  Sororities, Greek names of

  Souffles and reaction to loud noises

  Soup, alphabet, foreign countries and

  Soups and shelving in supermarkets

  Sour cream, expiration date on

  Sourdough bread, San Francisco, taste of

  South Florida, University of, location of

  South Pole

  directions at

  telling time at

  Sparkling wine, name of, versus champagne

  Speech, elderly versus younger and

  Speed limit, 55 mph, reasons for

  Speeding and radar

  Speedometers, markings of, in automobiles

  Spelling, “i” before “e” in

  Sperm whales, head oil of

  “Spic and span”

  Spiders and web tangling

  Spitting, men versus women

  Spoons, measuring, inaccuracy of

  Sprinkles, jimmies versus

  Squeaking, causes of

  “St. Martin’s Day”

  Stage hypnotists, techniques of

  Staining, paperback books and

  Stains, elimination of, on clothing

  Staling of bread

  Stamp pads, moisture retention of

  Stamps

  perforation remnants

  postage, taste of

  validity of ripped

  Staplers

  fitting of staples into

  outward setting of

  Staples

  clumping of

  fitting into staplers of

  “Starboard”

  Starch on shirts

  Stars in space, photos of

  Starving children and bloated stomachs

  States, versus commonwealths

  Static electricity, variability in amounts of

  Steak houses and baked potatoes

  Steak, “New York,” origins of

  Steam and streets of New York City

  Steelers, Pittsburgh, helmet emblems of

  Steins, beer, lids and

  Stickers, colored, on envelopes

  Stickiness of peanut butter

  Stock prices as quoted in eighths of a dollar

  Stocking runs

  direction of

  effect of freezing upon

  “Stolen thunder”

  Stomach, growling, causes of

  Stomachs, bloated, in starving children

  “STOP” in telegrams

  Strait, George, and hats

  Straws, rising and sinking of, in glasses

  Street addresses, half-numbers in

  Street names, choice of, at corner intersections

  Street-name signs, location of, at intersections

  Streets, glitter and

  String cheese, characteristics of

  String players

  left handed, in orchestras

  Styrofoam coolers, blue specks on

  Submarines, anchors and

  Sugar

  clumping together of

  spoilage of

  Sugar cube wrappers, slits in

  Sugar Frosted Flakes, calorie count of

  Sugar in packaged salt

  Summer, first day of

  Sunburn

  delayed reaction in

  palms and soles

  “Sundae”

  Sundials, mottoes on

  Sunglasses and professional golfers

  Sunrises, timing of

  Sunsets, timing of

  “Super” glues and Teflon

  versus ordinary glues

  Supermarkets

  check approval policies

  public bathrooms in

  shelving of soup

  Surgeons’ uniforms, color of

  “Swan song”

  Swarming of gnats

  Sweating, swimmers and

  “Sweating” and drinking glasses

  Swimming

  cats and

  sweating and

  Swiping of credit cards

  Swiss cheese

  holes in

  slice sizes of

  Switches, light

  Syringes, hole in needle of

  Tails, curly, pigs and

  “Talking a blue streak”

  Tall old people, rareness of

  Tamers, animal, and kitchen chairs

  Tape counters, audio and VCR

  Tar Heels and University of North Carolina

  Taste, sense of, in children versus adults

  Tattoos, color of

  “Taw”

  Tax forms

  disposal of

  numbering scheme of

  Taxes, April 15 due date of

  Taxicabs

  rear windows of

  seat belts in

  Teachers, apples for

  Teddy bears, frowns of

  Teeth, silver fillings and

  Teeth direction of keys

  “Teetotaler”

  Teflon, stickiness of

  Telegrams

  exclamation marks and

  periods and

  Telephone cords, twisting of

  Telephone rings, mechanics of

  Telephones

  911 as emergency number

  area code numbers

  dialing 9 to get outside line

  fast versus slow busy signals

  holes in mouthpiece />
  pay, clicking noise in

  “Q” and “Z,” absence from buttons

  rings, mechanics of

  third-party conversations

  three-tone signals

  touch tone keypad for

  unlisted phone numbers

  windowless central offices

  Telescopes, inverted images of

  Television

  advertising sales for overrun live programming and

  cable and channel allocation

  channel 1 on, lack of

  “snow” on

  sound of, in bars

  volume levels of

  Television commercials, loudness of

  Television sets

  diagonal measurement of

  measurement of, Canadian versus U.S.

  Temperature

  babies and tolerance for high

  cold water, kitchen versus bathroom

  human comfort and

  in public buildings

  perception of air versus water

  Ten percent of brain, alleged use of

  “Ten-foot pole”

  Tennis, scoring in

  Tennis balls

  fuzziness of

  high-altitude

  “Tenterhooks”

  Tequila, worms in bottles of

  Thanksgiving, Thursday and

  “That’s all she wrote”

  Theater, “legitimate,” origins of term

  Thermometers

  color of liquid in

  in ovens and refrigerators

  placement of

  standing temperature of

  Thimbles, holes in

  Thinking, looking up and

  “Third degree”

  “Third world”

  Thread, orange, and blue jeans

  Three Musketeers, musketlessness of

  “Three sheets to the wind”

  Three-way light bulbs

  burnout of

  functioning of

  Throat, uvula, purpose of

  Throwing, sex differences in

  Thumb notches in dictionaries

  Thumbs-up gesture, “okay” and

  Thursday, Thanksgiving and

  Tickets, red carbons on airline

  Tickling of self

  Ticklishness of different parts of body

  Ticks, diet of

  Ties, origins of

  Tiles, ceramic, in tunnels

  “Tinker’s dam”

  Tinnitus, causes of

  Tips, waiter, and credit cards

  Tiredness and eye-rubbing

  Tires

  atop mobile homes

  automobile tread, disappearance of

  bicycle

  bluish tinge on new whitewalls

  inflation of, and gasoline mileage

  white wall, size of

  Tissue paper in wedding invitations

  Title pages, dual, in books

  Toads, warts and

  “Toady”

  “Toast [salute]”

  Toasters, one slice slot on

  Toenails, growth of

  Toffee, versus caramels

  Toilet paper, folding over in hotel bathrooms

  Toilet seats in public restrooms

  Toilets

  flush handles on, location of

  loud flushes of, in public restrooms

  seat covers for

  “Tom Collins [drink]”

  “Tommy gun”

  Tongues, sticking out of

  Tonsils, function of

  Toothpaste

  expiration dates on

 

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