Where Seagulls Cry

by Yvonne Whittal

  Ursula's lips twisted cynically. 'You don't like me very much, do you?'

  'Is there any reason why I shouldn't like you?' Kim prevaricated, preparing to take the tray of drinks through to the living-room, but one glance in Ursula's direction told her that there was much more on this woman's mind. Kim placed the tray firmly on the kitchen table and turned to face her adversary. 'Ursula, you're obviously trying to tell me something. Why don't you lay your cards on the table, as they say, and do some plain speaking?'

  'Certainly, if that's what you want?'

  Kim kept a tight rein on her temper. 'I would prefer it to your subtle hints and insinuations.'

  'Well, Kim, you asked for this, remember,' Ursula smiled with satisfaction, her voice no longer purring, but cold and harsh. 'Adam was mine before he married you, and I have every intention of recovering what belongs to me.'

  'You speak of Adam as though he were a parcel that could be dropped and picked up at will,' Kim remarked with disgust. 'What makes you think he wants to be recovered like lost property?'

  'Adam made a grave mistake when he married you and, if he hasn't realised it yet, he soon will,' Ursula continued coolly and with a confidence that was sickening. 'You obviously have very little experience of men, my dear. They're peculiar creatures, and Adam is no exception. They thrive on mental, as well as physical stimulation, and while I have no doubt that you can offer a certain amount of physical stimulation, can you stimulate him mentally?' She smiled belligerently while Kim maintained a stony silence. 'There's something else you may not know about Adam. He always had an eye for a beautiful woman. I must admit that recently you've done something to make yourself reasonably attractive, but what do you think his reaction will be if he should regain his sight at some future date?'

  'I don't frighten easily and, as far as my looks are concerned, I have no illusions.' Ursula had laid an unkind finger on a tender spot that made Kim wince inwardly, but she was determined not to show how much that statement had affected her. 'If Adam should ever wish for a divorce, he has only to say so.'

  'That's very wise of you, my dear.'

  Kim stared at Ursula for some time. The woman's audacity was beyond her comprehension, while at the same time it was almost laughable. It made no difference to Ursula that Adam was married to someone else. She wanted him, and she had made it quite plain that she was going to get him. All Kim could do was silently wish her luck.

  'You seem very sure of your ability to win him back, Ursula?'

  'I am.' She graciously disentangled her curvaceous figure from the dresser and came closer to Kim, confidence putting the purr back in her voice. 'I've known Adam for some years… intimately.'

  Kim's glance sharpened. 'And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?'

  'Don't be obtuse, my dear. When a man and a woman have known each other for as long as Adam and I have, their relationship is bound to become intimate at some stage.' She smiled with acute satisfaction as Kim's eyes widened in her pale face. 'Does this shock you?'

  'Yes, it does,' Kim managed through stiff lips, cringing inwardly from the blow Ursula had delivered, but she lifted her chin proudly and faced her unflinchingly. 'I'm old-fashioned enough to believe that a woman should be married to a man before she gives herself so completely.'

  Ursula laughed bitingly. 'Oh, my dear Kim, how puritanical you sound, and how innocent! This is the twentieth century we're living in, and almost everything is permissible these days.'

  'So it seems,' Kim replied woodenly, brushing past her with the tray, and not quite knowing how she would get through the rest of the evening.

  It was not until after Bill and Ursula had left that Kim allowed herself to think, and the delayed realisation was much worse than the initial shock. She lingered in the bathroom much longer than usual that night, praying that Adam would be asleep when she emerged. If he were to touch her tonight, she would scream, she thought with frantic misery as the tears ran unheeded down her cheeks. A shuddering sigh escaped her as she finally dashed the tears away with an impatience she seldom displayed. She frowned suddenly. What was it exactly that Ursula had said?

  'When a man and a woman have known each other for as long as Adam and I have, their relationship is bound to become intimate at some stage.'

  Kim winced anew, every part of her being rejecting the implication in Ursula's statement, yet finding it impossible to evade the truth. Ursula had been Adam's mistress! Innocent as she was, she knew what that meant, and it filled her with revulsion to think that Ursula could have admitted it without a trace of shame. Kim towelled herself vigorously until her skin glowed, anger lending strength to her movements. She hated Ursula, and she hated Adam! He must have been more blind before the accident than he was now, if he could have found such a cold, calculating woman attractive enough to…!

  She drew her breath in sharply and clipped her thoughts severely. 'This won't do,' she decided rationally. 'Despite everything, I love Adam and, if I want our marriage to continue, I'll have to stop torturing myself.'

  Brave words; brave decision. Nevertheless, her bravado deserted her as she left the bathroom and found Adam lying wide awake, and waiting for her.

  'What were you and Ursula discussing in the kitchen this evening?' he asked as she slipped gingerly into bed beside him.

  'Nothing in particular,' she replied with thudding heart. 'Why?'

  'Oh, nothing,' he murmured thoughtfully. 'You seemed to be rather preoccupied and silent afterwards. Did she say anything to upset you?'

  'Tell him! Tell him!' a little voice urged, but Kim shrank away from the idea. 'No,' she lied uncomfortably. 'We merely… talked.'

  'I see.'

  He stretched out an arm and flooded the room in darkness. Kim's heart beat suffocatingly fast in her throat. 'Don't touch me!' her soul cried in anguish, yet when his arm slipped about her waist to draw her closer she remained silent and tense. Initially, her lips were unresponsive beneath his, but when he pushed the strap of her nightgown off her shoulder with gentle fingers and slid his hand caressingly over her breast, Kim could not suppress the quiver of delight that went through her.

  As if sensing a certain reluctance and withdrawal in her responses, Adam made love to her with a touch of deliberation that finally obliterated everything except the ecstatic pleasure she was experiencing at that moment. Ursula no longer existed. Nothing existed beyond Adam and herself, and that moment in time.

  Despite Kim's efforts to prevent Ursula's remarks from placing a barrier between Adam and herself, an unavoidable tension sprang up between them occasionally which resulted in Kim withdrawing into herself. Kim referred to these occasions silently as bouts of morbid self-pity, and Ursula's constant presence in their daily lives was a continual reminder to Kim of the things she would rather forget. It was a devilish situation she could do absolutely nothing about. It was imperative that Ursula worked closely with Adam, and Kim knew better than to interfere in matters of such vital importance, but if Ursula had to feature so prominently in their lives for the duration of their marriage, then Kim could only predict disaster.

  Towards the middle of January, Kim telephoned Bill at work one morning and invited him to dinner one evening during that same week. It would be her birthday, she explained.

  'Don't mention this to Adam,' she pleaded. 'I don't want a fuss made, but I would like to have .you here as my guest. Ursula will naturally be here as well,' she added ruefully.

  'That woman is like an irritating thorn in the side,' Bill acknowledged. 'I often regret making the suggestion that she should work with Adam, but the suggestion was made before I knew about you.'

  He sounded so downcast that Kim was forced to pass it off lightly. 'Don't let it upset you, Bill. I'm sure we shall survive.'

  Optimistic words, Kim thought, grimacing at herself as she replaced the receiver. 'We shall survive,' she had said, as though Ursula were a disease for which there was no antidote.

  Kim spent a fair amount of time on that special day, p
lanning the dinner for that evening, as well as deciding what to wear. Adam, she knew, would not be working late, for they were past the stage where this was necessary. As the time approached for Adam to arrive from the Institute, Kim slipped into a cream-coloured, full-length chiffon dress, with the finest lace at her throat. A swift glance in the mirror told her that she had selected wisely, for the dress gave her an air of sophistication and confidence she was sadly lacking.

  On a magnificently carved stinkwood table against the wall of the living-room stood a vase of bright yellow roses which had arrived early that morning from Bill. Kim smiled with amusement as she touched the delicate blooms and inhaled their fragrance. On the accompanying card Bill had written: 'It isn't very often that I send flowers to a lovely lady. I have my reputation as a bachelor to think of, so this had better be a very happy birthday for you, Kim.'

  Strangely enough. Bill was the first to arrive, a bottle of champagne tucked under his arm. 'Hello, and how's my girl?'

  'Just fine, thank you, Bill,' she replied, offering her cheek for his kiss and leading the way into the living-room, 'and thank you for the roses. They're beautiful, and I've just been admiring them once more.'

  'It was my pleasure,' Bill replied promptly, depositing the champagne and glancing about expectantly. 'Adam not home yet?'

  'No, but I'm expecting him at any moment.'

  'He is coming home early this evening, isn't he?'

  'I'm sure he is.' Kim bit her lip nervously and frowned. 'He usually telephones early in the afternoon if he can't make it.'

  'Well, that's all right, then.'

  What would she do if Adam did not come home in time for dinner? she wondered anxiously. She had not expected him to remember her birthday, but it would be a disappointment if something prevented him at the last minute from coming home early.

  Kim gestured nervously. 'Shall I pour you something to drink?'

  'I'll help myself,' Bill said swiftly, going across to the cabinet. 'Sherry for you?'

  'Yes, please.'

  Kim listened with half an ear to Bill's amusing chatter as the minutes sped by while they sat sipping their drinks. It was almost seven-thirty. Why was Adam not here? What was keeping him so late? Why did he not telephone?

  Kim could no longer contain her agitation as she interrupted Bill. 'I hope nothing has happened.'

  'Now don't start imagining things. He'll most probably come walking through that door at any moment now,' he tried to. pacify her, without success. At that moment the telephone rang shrilly in the study and Kim jumped nervously. Bill glanced at her with swift concern. 'Shall I take it?'

  She shook her head and rose shakily to her feet. 'No, I'll… answer it.'

  Her fingers tightened convulsively on the receiver as Ursula's voice came over the line. 'Adam asked me to let you know that he'll be home late. Something unforeseen happened that can't be left for tomorrow.'

  'I—I see.' Kim swallowed down her disappointment. She could hear Ursula place her hand over the mouthpiece as she spoke to someone at the other end before removing her hand once more.

  'Adam says don't keep him any dinner. He'll have a snack sent up from the canteen.'

  'Can I speak to him?' Kim asked with swift urgency.

  'I'm afraid not, Kim. He's just left the office with one of the chaps from the laboratory.'

  Kim's shoulders sagged, her hopes plummeting to the ground. 'Very well, then. Goodbye.'

  'Something wrong?' Bill asked anxiously as she entered the living-room, her disappointment hanging like a cloak about her.

  'Adam won't be home for dinner after all,' she told him woodenly. 'Something occurred which needs their immediate attention.'

  Bill scowled momentarily as he glanced at the droop of her shoulders. 'Well, we can't allow an excellent dinner to go to waste, can we?'

  Kim raised her sombre glance and pulled herself together instantly. 'You're right, we can't.'

  'Good!' he grinned, rubbing his hands together in characteristic fashion. 'You get the dinner on the table while I collect two glasses and open the bottle of champagne.'

  Kim removed the excess silver from the table and served dinner for two. Her appetite had deserted her, but Bill showed no sign of being put off his food. They toasted each other with champagne and talked, but Kim found it increasingly difficult to pretend that nothing had happened. More than anything else in the world she had wanted Adam there with her, but his work was more important than his wife's birthday, she thought unreasonably.

  'I think it's a rotten bad show,' Bill remarked eventually as she served coffee, and Kim's armour crumpled.

  'Oh, Bill, I'm sorry. I don't know what I would have done without you, but it's my fault really. I should have told Adam that I was planning something like this, but I…'

  'Had no way of knowing that things would go wrong at work,' he finished for her sympathetically. 'You also hoped that he would remember it was his wife's birthday without being told.'

  Kim nodded, catching a trembling lower lip between her teeth. 'It was silly of me, I suppose.'

  'Not at all,' he insisted with swift understanding. 'Having three sisters made me realise at an early age that women like their husbands to remember little things such as birthdays and anniversaries.'

  'I shouldn't really have expected Adam to remember. He's been so busy.'

  Kim rose from her chair and walked stiffly away from him as tears threatened to choke her, but Bill followed her and turned her about to face him. 'Your loyalty and understanding is not entirely misplaced, Kim. He mentioned a few days ago that it would be your birthday today. I can only think that pressure of work—'

  'Please, Bill,' she interrupted him, resting her head against his shoulder as his arms went about her comfortingly. 'Don't say anything further. I'm ashamed of myself, although I'm naturally disappointed.'

  Kim dried her tears quickly and went through to the bedroom to repair the damage to her make-up. When she returned to the living-room, Bill had poured her a small sherry as well as pouring a stiff whisky for himself, then they settled down to wait for Adam.

  'I have no right to keep you here so late,' she protested apologetically.

  'I'm not leaving until Adam has arrived,' Bill declared firmly, and nothing Kim could say would dissuade him.

  It was after ten when they heard the fumbling of a key in the lock. 'Kim, forgive me for being so late, my dear,' Adam apologised profusely as he entered with Ursula close behind him. He stopped suddenly and turned his head in a listening attitude, sniffing the air lightly. 'Bill? Are you here?'

  'Yes, I am.'

  Kim stood immobile as she saw the hardening of Adam's jaw. It had angered him to find her alone with Bill, and his voice was tinged with sarcasm when he finally spoke.

  'Quite a welcoming party, it seems.'

  'By the look of things, that's exactly what's been happening,' Ursula remarked, coming up beside him and slipping her arm through his with a look of triumph on her face. 'A table set for two, candlelight, and empty champagne glasses, as well as an enormous bouquet of yellow roses in a place of honour in the living-room.'

  Bill moved then, his manner threatening as he approached Adam. 'As a matter of fact, we did have a celebration dinner. It happens to be Kim's birthday.'

  Adam's face went white beneath his tan as he assimilated the shock. 'Oh, lord! I forgot about it completely.' He extricated himself rather impatiently from Ursula's hold as he moved towards Kim, who remained statue-like, a few feet away from him. 'Kim, forgive me?'

  Bill glanced from one to the other and cleared his throat. 'Yes… well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be off. Coming, Ursula?' he asked, glancing at Ursula's now surly face.

  'Well, I—' she began reluctantly, but Bill took her firmly by the arm and almost dragged her physically through the front door, closing it firmly behind them.

  Kim faced Adam in the uncomfortable silence that followed Bill and Ursula's departure. She should lash out at him in anger and disappointment,
she told herself, but at that moment she was not quite sure how she felt. Adam's apparent distress at having forgotten her birthday had somehow robbed her of the desire to underline the fact with a display of temper.

  'Kim?' He extended his hands towards her, but she stubbornly refused to go forward and take them. 'Have I done the unforgivable?'

  'I didn't really expect you to remember.'

  'But I did,' he insisted, coming towards her with a measure of uncertainty. 'It was only when things started erupting at work that it slipped my mind.'

  'It doesn't matter.'

  'It does matter,' he argued harshly, reaching out for her and gripping her arms so tightly that she winced as he drew her against him. 'It matters very much.'

  'Oh, Adam…'

  She placed her cheek against the rough material of his jacket, and stood for a moment in the circle of his arms until he drew her towards the study. She stood aside curiously as he searched the drawer of his desk, taking from it a small, neatly wrapped parcel which he handed to her.

  'It's for you,' he grinned apologetically. 'I told Bill what I wanted and he bought it for me last week.'

  Kim's throat tightened as she removed the wrapping with trembling fingers. 'It's an emerald brooch,' she said at last, staring down at it in fascination where it lay against the cushioned interior of the small box.

  'Emeralds to match your eyes,' he explained, taking her face between his hands and lowering his head to capture her lips in a lingering fashion. 'Happy birthday, Kim.'

  'Oh, Adam!' Her voice broke, tears choking back the words of appreciation for his gift.

  Adam's thumbs explored her cheeks. 'You're crying.'

  'It's such a beautiful brooch,' she laughed tearfully at his amazement, flinging her arms about his waist and burying her face against him. 'Thank you, Adam. Thank you for not forgetting entirely.'

  'Kim, my darling, I feel terrible about it.'

  Kim's heart jolted violently. 'My darling.' Adam had never called her that before. Was it merely because he was distressed?

  'I'm free this week-end,' he continued, unaware that he had said something unusual. 'Shall we go to the cottage at Heron's Bay?'