Like Ashes We Scatter
Page 15
Alex only smiled and walked to the shivering, bald and arguably monstrous dog in the solitary cage in the corner of the room. “Oh. Wow. What the heck is wrong with this guy, mange?”
Edna unleashed a hardy laugh as she walked to Alex and the small, visibly shaken dog. “This is Brutis. Brutis is a Chinese Crested. They’re typically born with little to no hair and stay that way. He was in a foster home but they had to bring him back.”
“Oh. Wow. Poor little guy looks horrified.” Alex kneeled to the wagging dog as he rolled to his back and presented his belly in a submissive manner.
“Well his original owner was high on cocaine when he flung Brutis out the window of his Benz before totaling his ride into a neighborhood streetlamp while running from the authorities.” Alex looked to Enda in disbelief. “Had to pin both back legs and he’ll never walk right again. And who the hell knows what happened to him before he was tossed out of the window like a piece of trash.”
“Oh my god! That’s absolutely horrible!”
“Tell me about it. Sad thing is the sonofabitch is out on probation as we speak. I just don’t understand some people.”
Watching the small dog tremble, knowing it had had such a horrible life, Alex looked to Edna. “You say he’ll never grow hair? Like ever?”
“No ma’am.”
“Edna, may I apply to adopt Brutis? I’ve never owned a dog because I didn’t know how it would affect my brother’s condition but if he’s not going to grow hair and Dr. Jones agrees it’s not a bad idea I think he would be a good fit for me right now…I need something right now.”
“A dog is a big responsibility, Alex.”
“I know. I’ve been walking nine of them daily before I feed and brush them.”
“Okay girl. I’ll send the forms home with you tonight. I’ll be sad to see him go but I think he’ll be a good fit for you too.”
“Thank you, Edna.”
“Oh girl, car!”
Alex jumped and scrambled behind Edna, ready to scurry to the back room and out of sight.
“False alarm, Alex. It’s an Explorer, not a Civic.”
“Eh. Every time…”
“Honey he hasn’t been here since he brought you. I don’t think he’ll be back anytime soon. You just keep parking behind the garage and doing your thing…but someday he’s going to be here…and you’re gonna be here…and these little ole dogs will go to howlin’ and singin’ and you two young’uns will realize that life is to damn short to cold-shoulder those you care about.”
“Nope…no, not this time. This time I messed up pretty good. I deserve the cold shoulder and much worse so I’ll take it and move on. I know this place is technically his stomping grounds so I don’t want to take that from him.”
“Oh honey, this place is a place for broken souls to start the mending process and for little hearts to feel secure and whole. There’s no room for stomping out here. And between you and me, this place was Nathan’s retreat. That boy loved these guys.”
Alex walked to the picture of Nathan on the wall. “Was Nathan always sad? I mean…could you tell he was sad?”
“Oh heavens no, child. Nathan Holloway was usually never seen without his smile. That boy was always laughing…and damn if he wasn’t a little smartass. Some of our best days out here were with him.”
“And then he was just gone? Just like that he was just gone without any warning?”
Edna’s face—weathered with smile lines—lost enthusiasm as she displayed a more solemn look. “Now…I didn’t say there was no warning at all. There were subtle signs that bite me in the ass now that my hindsight is perfect. But at that time I didn’t know. How could I have known a…a solitary tear here and there when he was alone was anything more than a fight with a girl? How was I supposed to know the long stares out into our open fields might have been when he was lost in deep thought and contemplating leaving us? He was so happy and when he was happy he was genuinely happy. But that boy had so many layers. I’m afraid that when he was sad he was just genuinely sad.”
“So, when you found out, when you heard the news—”
“Oh, Alex…don’t take me back to that day. Today’s been a good day and I just can’t go back there again right now. I’m gonna get back to the back, I have a momma chow that just might have us a litter of pups tonight.”
“Oh wow. New puppies? Hey, Edna, may I take Brutis for a walk?”
“You might as well if you’re planning on taking that handsome devil home.”
Brutis walked well on the leash as Alex led him down the path to the area she and Bishop had visited prior to their downfall. The leaves were turning and the rushing waters carried many of them away in the stream. It was beautiful, but the beauty was different—it was changed. It reminded Alex that time changes everything. He was not there with her, and the realization that he would never be there with her again was slow to absorb, yet she was now saturated with it.
She looked to her small companion, shivering near the clear water. “Do you wanna come home with me?” The dog merely looked toward Alex with his tail tucked.
“Let’s get you back, little guy.”
Chapter Thirty
“I don’t wanna take them away yet. They’re not hurting anything.” Tyson sat in front of his mother’s headstone, bundled in thick sweatpants and a large hoodie.
“They’re dead, Ty. If we don’t take the pots away, the groundskeeper will just throw them in the trash.”
“Then let them throw them away. I just…I don’t wanna throw Mom’s flowers away yet.”
“Okay, Ty. We can wait.”
The early morning air was still but cold. The tip of Alex’s nose was lacking sensation. She was dressed less casually than her brother, and was longing for more comforting attire.
“Tyson, your phone is going off.”
“I got it.” The puzzled look on Tyson’s face transformed to a look of near-panic as he held the phone in front of his face.
“What’s wrong, Tyson? Is it Becca?”
“No. Hello? Yeah…yes, this is Tyson. Oh shit! That’s great. It’s…it’s happening. On its way! For real?”
Tyson’s free hand slapped across his forehead, nocking his ball cap off as he stood to his feet. “I’m on my way. I’m on my way right now.”
Alex stood to her elated brother, wondering what the news could possibly be. “Tyson…is everything okay?”
Tyson smiled largely as tears welled in his eyes. Dropping his phone, he offered his sister a full embrace. “He’s going to be okay. He’s…he’s going…” His words trailed.
“What? Who? Who is going to be okay, Tyson?”
“Bailor…they found…they found a match. It’s actually happening this time.”
“Tyson,” Alex gently pushed her brother away, looking to him in confusion. “Tyson, who is Bailor and what match are you talking about?”
Tyson, still smiling, wiped his eyes and grabbed his phone. “We gotta get there. You have to give me a ride—”
“Tyson…”
“Bailor is an eleven-year-old end-stage renal disease kid…I met him a little over a year ago…on a support site for terminally ill kids.”
“What? Oh my god.”
“That was his mom. Holy shit.”
“Tyson…relax…breathe and talk to me.”
“Bailor is my friend, my little buddy. He’s been waiting for like, ever, for a kidney. He’s made it all the way to the hospital only to get sent home twice. They told him two weeks ago he had a few months left.”
Tyson looked to the sky and smiled as tears streamed from the corner of either eye. “The kidney’s on the way to the hospital, Alex. It’s gonna happen. It’s actually going to happen this time.”
Alex breathed heavily. “And they…they called you? His mother called you? You never mentioned—”
“Yes she called me. He’s scared and wants to talk to me. We need to go.”
“Tyson, why am I just now hearing about him?”
“Tyson—”
“I want to share my wins and my happiness with you, Alex…not this. This is me. This is mine. I’m not asking you to understand…I’m just…I’m asking you to drive me to the hospital so I can tell my little buddy that he’s going to be okay, and that I’ll be there when he wakes up.”
Completely stunned and totally affected, Alex nodded. “Okay.”
***
Alex was all-too familiar with the idea of a sick child. She’d witnessed firsthand the ravishing effects of Tyson’s illness. Familiar or not, sitting front row to this child’s suffering was shocking regardless. She stood outside a glassed room, unable to hear her brother as he sat bedside, holding the boy’s hand as they both cried softly over their smiles. Bailor’s face was swollen, as if it could pop. He appeared malnourished yet engorged.
The situation as a whole conjured a dark dread she’d forced to her pit. The idea that death was very real and ever-lurking, and not just something the elderly must contend with, was resurfacing. This situation, this scene in front of her, was beautifully brutal. This young man’s reprieve was granted only because there was a great loss on the other end of the equation.
“Are you the sister?”
Alex turned from the glass to see a tired-eyed blonde women—she appeared in her thirties. The smiling woman quickly looked past Alex and toward Bailor and Tyson through the window.
“I am. I’m Alex.”
“I’m Bridgett. I’m the momma. I keep catching myself…I want to say, ‘one lucky momma,’ but that’s somehow completely inappropriate. There’s a momma out there that is completely crushed so that my son might have this gift.”
Alex swallowed hard, erected her composure, and took comfort in knowing this particular topic was one she could offer personal insight on. “Gift…you’re absolutely right. The most precious gift is the gift of time…the…the gift of time with family and friends.”
Bridgett looked curiously to Alex, intrigue danced in her eyes.
“Tyson is my everything. I’m not sure if I’ll ever have children of my own or anything like that. I don’t know what it’s like to be a mother, but I do know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep knowing that the most beautiful person is wasting away just down the hall and there’s literally nothing you can do about it but watch. I know that hopelessness. I also know…” her throat tensed. “I also remember the thought…just the thought that there might be a chance. When we got that call…”
Bridgett turned completely to Alex.
“By the time we got that call my world was so completely shattered I didn’t know where to step. This gift…this gift was a choice. This family, or this person, chose to add life-saver to his or her legacy. That’s nothing to be sad or feel guilty about…that’s beautiful and heroic. We can be certain that this family is more than likely going through one of the most difficult trials imaginable…they’re grieving regardless. Now, or even months…years from now, they might find some peace in knowing that part of their loved one lives on, and everyday another family has time with their loved one. This gift is so much more than words describe. How do you effectively describe life?”
“Wow…you’re right. You’re so right. I just don’t know how I’m going to thank them. I can’t be entirely grateful and appear, I don’t know…enthusiastic.”
“I don’t think there’s any one way to do that. Right now you have so much ahead of you. The healing process is tough and your little man is going to need a lot of encouragement. Right now you have a life to plan. There will be a time and place for thank you.”
“Tyson is lucky to have you. You’re wise beyond your years.”
“Oh no. I’m just guessing as I go. I’m lucky to have Tyson; he’s the best part of my life.”
“Look at them together. Tyson always has such a calming tone and puts my boy’s mind at ease.”
“To be honest, today was the first I’d heard of Bailor or your situation.”
Bridgett patted Alex on the shoulder. “That doesn’t surprise me. Our group is reclusive. Tyson inspired quite a few kiddos with the success of his transplant.”
“Are…all the children in the group on a transplant waiting list?”
“Mostly. We have Tara. She needed bone marrow transplant, so I guess that counts.”
“Sounds like an amazing group of courageous kiddos.”
Bridgett smiled once more. “Some days…mostly we’re a group of loyal…tired…scared families, parents and kids that find comfort in each other’s triumphs. We pick each other up, even on days when there’s no getting out of bed.”
“We’re ready to move now.” A nurse appeared behind Alex and Bridgett.
“Oh…oh gosh…okay. I just need to tell him goodbye.”
Calmly, Alex placed her hand on Bridgett’s shoulder. “It’s not goodbye, it’s hello to a new beginning.”
***
For nearly three hours, Tyson paced in the waiting room, chewing on the tip of his thumb one second and nervously scrolling through his phone the next. Occasionally he’d sit, only to stand up almost instantly and begin pacing again.
The room was clad with silent people, all boasting stunned looks on their faces. Only yesterday their beloved Bailor was too ill to complete his bucket list, and now he was receiving the gift of life.
Tyson’s feet secured him in place as the surgeon entered the room. The knot in Alex’s throat began loosening the second a kind smile cascaded across the female physician’s face.
“Bridgett, if I could get your attention and the rest of the Bailor Jenkins clan as well.”
Some stood, some leaned forward, but all had a look of deep anticipation.
“The operation was successful.” Sighs and even gentle laughter filled the room. “He did excellent and remained stable throughout the entire surgery. We’ll be bringing him out to the recovery ward soon.”
“What’s next?” Bridgett could barely make out the words as tears tore down her cheeks.
“Well, we have to monitor him and make sure the organ is functioning properly and producing urine. I don’t anticipate that will be an issue as this is a sixteen-year-old kidney. Then we’ll watch for any initial signs of rejection…but again, I’m not anticipating any issues. Your son couldn’t have found a more perfect match. You’ll have a long recovery but I’m reasonably certain I’ll be marking this transplant as a complete success.”
“Can I hug you? I just really want to hug you right now.” Bridgett’s arms were in the process of raising when the doctor was embracing her.
“Mrs. Jenkins, you have an amazing young man…days like today are the real reason I do what I do.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Alex looked to her brother. Tyson was beaming; she’d never seen him smile so largely. As the physician left the room, the family stood, hugs were dispersed and tears were shed.
Almost instinctively, Tyson made his way to Alex, hinting toward the door.
“You’re wanting to leave? I thought you wanted to be here when he woke—”
“I’m wanting to eat. I’ve been a wreck all morning. Now that I know he’s okay I realized I’m starving. You will accompany me to the cafeteria.”
Alex shook her head. “You are seriously a bottomless pit.”
“I haven’t had breakfast or lunch and it’s already two thirty.”
“I know…let’s go.”
The cafeteria was near the waiting room. The lunch crowd had gone, and although the sign blatantly stated the grill was officially closed until the evening, for whatever reason the cook behind the counter decided to grant Tyson’s request for a double cheeseburger.
They sat quietly in a c
orner table. Alex thumbed through her phone while Tyson ate his meal. As he wiped his mouth, she sat her phone on the table.
“I’m so proud of you, Tyson. I don’t say it enough but you are truly the best person I know. I’m so lucky to have you for my brother…for my family.”
“Well, you’re the best person I know. I’m lucky too, Alex.”
Alex offered a small smile as her gaze trailed. “I’m not a good person. Good people don’t hurt the ones they care about.”
“Hey. You are too. And no matter how good a person is, people do dumb shit…it’s just part of being human. Don’t get me wrong, you messed up, like, exponentially, but you’re still the best person I know.”
“Ah…well geez, Ty, thank you.”
“I’m serious. I mean, just look how many people were in that room. Bailor has an army of support. Even if he hadn’t gotten this last minute miracle, he has an entire army, Alex. I had you. You carried all that on you. I wouldn’t be here without you. I can’t say that enough.”
“You don’t have to. I’d do it all again in a second—”
“You should just call him. Just call him, apologize and move on.”
The passive nostalgia was slapped from the scene.
“What? Call who, Tyson?”
“Don’t be dumb. Call Bishop. I know you miss him. I’d be willing to bet that dude misses you too.”
“I…what the hell, Ty? Why are you bringing this up? I’m not calling him. I lost him.” Mildly irritated, Alex turned in her chair from her brother.
“Is he still breathing?”
“What?” She looked back to him.
“Is Bishop still breathing?”
“Well I would hope so. Stop being stupid.”
“If he’s still breathing you didn’t lose him…he’s not lost.”
“Ty…no offense but you’re hardly the authority on relationship matters and loss.”
Tyson leaned back in his chair, wiping his mouth his napkin. “Oh yeah…you’re totally right, Alex. I have no clue what it’s like to miss somebody so much it literally hurts…and the only thing that could possibly make it better is to see their face again but that’s not an option. I have no clue what it’s like to have to put mourning on hold because I have to look strong for another friend who’s too tired to be strong for themselves. I have no clue what it’s like to lose.”