I'm Not Running

by David Hare

  Pauline Well, you found it.

  Sandy I was protesting my home town.

  Pauline Oh, it’s all Corby’s fault?

  They both smile.

  The good news is you’re going to be able to leave pretty soon. There’s no permanent damage.

  Sandy looks at her a moment.

  Sandy Can I tell you something?

  Pauline Anything.

  Sandy Something more intimate than the stuff I’ve told you so far.

  Pauline I can’t imagine what that might be but go ahead.

  Sandy I feel a rat. Lying here. I feel a traitor.

  Pauline Go on.

  Sandy Because we’re almost certain to lose the election. But whatever the result some plans are being made.

  Pauline What plans are those?

  Sandy Rationalisation.

  At once Nerena appears, passing through.

  Nerena Ambulance coming in, nothing serious, drunk ripped open his forehead, I’d appreciate some help sewing him up.

  Pauline I’m coming.

  Nerena Soon as you’re free.

  She goes. Pauline turns back to Sandy.

  Pauline I’m needed elsewhere. Sorry.

  Sandy Let me tell you quickly: the policy is unlikely to change.

  Pauline What policy is that?

  Sandy It’s shaped by civil servants and handed on. Fat chance, if they get in, the Tories will do anything more sensible than Labour. They never have. Not in my lifetime.

  Pauline You don’t think you’re biased or anything?

  Sandy Don’t you agree?

  Pauline smiles and holds up a hand.

  Pauline Don’t ask me. I’m not political. Truly.

  Sandy Why not?

  Pauline The world’s changing. Left–right. It’s all over, isn’t it?

  Sandy Is it?

  Pauline There’s just the system. We have to make the best of it.

  Sandy Really? That’s what you think?

  Pauline It is. People have to cherry-pick the best ideas, they don’t care where they come from. What difference does it make? Nobody believes that one party has the monopoly of wisdom any more.

  There is a silence.

  Why are you not saying anything?

  Sandy Because I can’t believe you’re being so stupid when you’re obviously so clever.

  Pauline Oh yeah? How do you know I’m clever?

  Sandy Look, I was seventeen when I worked this stuff out. You don’t seem to have thought about it.

  Pauline Of course I’ve thought about it.

  Sandy Not very deeply.

  Pauline Oh, so what did you decide at seventeen?

  Sandy Inequality’s getting worse all the time. Things aren’t going to correct themselves of their own accord. If you want to take on injustice in any sustained way, you need a structure. Otherwise you’re just firefighting.

  There is a silence.

  Now it’s you who’s not answering.

  Pauline Clinical hands-on help, that’s what I believe in. Do your best and go home.

  Sandy Can you tell me your name?

  Pauline It’s Pauline. Pauline Gibson.

  Sandy reaches out his hand. There is a moment of contact between them. From an adjacent room, the sound of Nerena calling.

  Nerena (off) Pauline, where have you got to?

  Pauline There. That’s your answer.

  She smiles at him.

  Sandy If I go to sleep, Pauline, will you be here when I wake up?

  Pauline That depends.

  Sandy I’d like to finish our conversation.

  Pauline It’s unprofessional, but I’ll give you my number. Just in case. Keep it to yourself.

  Pauline starts writing on a piece of paper from his chart.

  Sandy You haven’t even asked me what rationalisation means.

  Pauline No, I haven’t.

  Sandy Why not?

  Pauline Because I don’t need to, do I? I can guess.

  Sandy What?

  Pauline Come on, they’re always at it. Fart-arsing around with structure.

  Sandy And?

  Pauline More middle managers. More administrators. Efficiency, so-called. I don’t know who decided there was more money to be made in telling people how to do a job than there is in doing it, but boy! they were on to something big.

  She hands him the piece of paper.

  Here. This is it.

  Sandy takes it.

  Sandy I should tell you what rationalisation means.

  Pauline Please do.

  Sandy This hospital’s going to be closed down.

  SCENE SEVEN

  2009. Nerena is on TV, her Interviewer as usual unseen. As in Scene Three, the image is on a big screen. Nerena’s boiling over, aggressive.

  Nerena It’s so obvious it’s not even worth discussing.

  Interviewer But we’re here to discuss it, aren’t we?

  Nerena The hospital exists. It’s in Corby. Where it always was. Where people need it and where people want it.

  Interviewer Yes, but you see, the Health Authority has done research –

  Nerena I’ve seen that research. It’s bog paper.

  Interviewer You can’t just say –

  Nerena I am saying –

  Interviewer I’m sorry but –

  Nerena Come on, give us a ––– (Broadcaster bleeps out.) break, let’s be serious –

  Interviewer There’s been a process of consultation –

  Nerena Oh yeah? Consultation? What, asking people and then doing what you were planning to do anyway?

  Interviewer I think it was a little more than that.

  Nerena How do you know?

  Interviewer Because the Health Authority –

  Nerena You don’t know anything.

  Interviewer I don’t think that’s –

  Nerena I don’t need to consult. I can tell you without consulting: people don’t want to go up the road to Leicester. They don’t want to go to Peterborough.

  Interviewer Your Health Authority is saying that’s not true.

  Nerena Oh, people like A&E not too close, do they? What sort of people are they? Morons?

  Interviewer Research shows that smaller hospitals are expensive and inefficient. The figures prove it’s much more efficient to have fewer, larger hospitals.

  Nerena What figures? Don’t give me ––– (Broadcaster bleeps out.) figures.

  Interviewer Really –

  Nerena Give me what people feel.

  Interviewer Aren’t you going to have to offer some facts? Do you think you can fight a whole campaign on emotion alone?

  Nerena This is the twenty-first century. Everybody needs this hospital. Everybody in Corby uses this hospital. It’s been here for over a hundred years, saving lives and serving the community. I’m speaking for everyone when I say that this is inhuman. This is not what human beings do.

  SCENE EIGHT

  2009. Jack’s flat in London. Pauline is stretched out contentedly on the sofa, she’s in just shirt and trousers. Jack comes in, barefoot, carrying tea. They are both in their early thirties.

  Pauline I don’t know why we did that.

  Jack You know why.

  Pauline It’s not what I meant to do.

  Jack Even so.

  Pauline stretches.

  If it’s what we wanted.

  Pauline Things got out of hand.

  Jack I don’t think so. Let’s just say: we picked up where we left off.

  Pauline nods at a framed photo on a table beside the sofa.

  Pauline Picture of your mother?

  Jack Yeah.

  Pauline Still alive?

  Jack Very much so.

  Pauline Is she proud of you?

  Jack Not exactly. She’s way to the left. For her it’s still 1945 and we’re all just back from the war. I have to explain to her, things have changed.

  Pauline And does she believe you?

  Jack looks at her.

  Jack You s
till don’t drink?

  Pauline I’d prefer weed.

  Jack I don’t have any.

  Pauline I’m sure. You’re so respectable.

  Jack shrugs to say ‘What can I do?’

  I knew from the first day we met: you wanted a nice life.

  Jack Is that wrong of me?

  Pauline Of course not.

  Jack Doesn’t everyone?

  Pauline You wanted the trappings. You wanted surroundings, and objects, and clothes –

  Jack I wanted comfort.

  Pauline Yeah.

  Jack Walk into a nice restaurant. I wanted warmth.

  Pauline And now you’ve got it.

  Jack has gone to pour himself vodka.

  Jack Look, don’t get me wrong. There was a reason for it. And an honourable one.

  Pauline I know that.

  Jack I wanted to be in a position to help other people.

  Pauline I know.

  Jack Already, by the time I met you, I was aware: I can really only help others if I get myself straight.

  Pauline That’s a funny way of looking at things.

  Jack But you know what I’m saying.

  Pauline Sort of.

  Jack It makes me furious when people think we’re not in good faith.

  Pauline We?

  Jack I mean, politicians.

  Pauline I thought you meant lawyers.

  Jack No. I am a lawyer. I will be a politician.

  He’s concentrating on the pouring. She’s thoughtful.

  You remember: I was very unhappy.

  Pauline I do.

  Jack And I started thinking: if I’m a wreck, what use am I to other people?

  Pauline I’m not sure. If you’re a wreck yourself, you may be better placed to understand other people.

  Jack Pauline, I didn’t want to be neurotic. I wanted to be calm.

  Pauline Sure.

  Jack I wanted to be at peace, so I could get on with things. Get things done. I needed a base. I needed a home I could work from, so I didn’t fret. I didn’t want to waste my life fretting.

  Pauline A wife.

  Jack Yeah. A wife.

  There’s a silence.

  Pauline When did you marry?

  Jack Weren’t you paying attention?

  Pauline As a matter of fact –

  Jack Come on, you must have known.

  Pauline Clearly, I knew it had happened. I wasn’t sure when.

  Jack Pretty soon after.

  Pauline Pretty soon after what?

  Jack After us.

  There’s another silence.

  Pauline OK.

  Jack If you want to know –

  Pauline Please –

  Jack I was thinking of you on the day.

  Pauline Well, that doesn’t speak very well for her.

  Jack No, I don’t mean it like that. As I walked down the aisle –

  Pauline The aisle?

  Jack Yes.

  Pauline It was a church?

  Jack Her parents are religious. Give me a break. As I went down the aisle, I was wondering what you’d make of her. Whether you’d like her.

  Pauline It bothered you?

  Jack No. I was just wondering.

  Pauline Remind me of her name.

  Jack Jessica.

  Pauline Jack and Jessica. Hmm.

  She nods a little.

  And has it worked?

  Jack Has what worked?

  Pauline This idea of a haven.

  Jack Brilliantly.

  Pauline Really?

  Jack Yes. She’s wonderful. We’re very happy. She’s a fasttrack civil servant. She’s zooming up the Ministry of –

  Pauline Ah well, that’s great.

  Jack And I got a seat.

  Pauline Even better.

  Jack Amazingly young. Rock-solid Labour. It’s mine for life.

  Pauline Good. Then it all worked out.

  Jack shifts.

  Jack I should be making a move.

  Pauline Sorry?

  Jack Didn’t I mention?

  Pauline Did you?

  Jack Oh, just how I’m meant to be in my constituency …

  Pauline I see.

  Jack I thought I said.

  Pauline No.

  Jack As far as Jessica’s concerned. That’s where I am.

  Pauline Where’s she?

  Jack Birmingham. She’s at a conference.

  Pauline I see.

  Jack Surely, I did mention it earlier. I mean, that I’d have to leave.

  Pauline Before we went to the bedroom?

  Jack’s mind spins a moment.

  Jack Probably we need to get something clear.

  Pauline No, we don’t.

  Jack Pauline –

  Pauline Jack –

  Jack I would be happier if we did.

  Pauline It’s really not necessary.

  Jack Please.

  Pauline All I need is for you to sign the petition and then I can go. That’s what I came for, after all.

  Jack The petition?

  Pauline Yeah. It’s here.

  Jack Ah yes.

  Pauline gets up and goes to her rucksack. She gets out a scroll of paper.

  Pauline The other thing was unplanned.

  Jack Don’t go yet.

  Pauline Why not?

  Jack Because we need to discuss what just happened.

  Pauline Do we? Really?

  Jack What you have to understand: I’m completely one hundred per cent devoted to Jessica. She’s an extraordinary woman.

  Pauline There’s no need to explain.

  Jack I think there is.

  Pauline Why?

  Jack Because I don’t want you to think I’m unfaithful to her.

  Pauline What on earth would make me think that?

  Jack No, really –

  Pauline I’m joking.

  Jack This was a one-off.

  Pauline Of course it was.

  Jack It just happened.

  Pauline I agree.

  Jack It’s never happened before.

  Pauline I didn’t ask.

  Jack And it won’t happen again.

  Pauline I’ll swallow my disappointment.

  Jack So there’s no need for Jessica to feel threatened or anything.

  Pauline Well, I hadn’t imagined you were going to tell her.

  Jack is unamused.

  Jack Just so we’re square.

  Pauline We’re square.

  She holds out the piece of paper.

  This is the petition.

  Jack Ah yes.

  Pauline We’ve got twenty thousand signatures.

  Jack Twenty thousand? Wow!

  Pauline I think most of the town is going to sign.

  Jack Impressive.

  Pauline I told Nerena I knew someone who’d just been selected to be an MP.

  Jack Nerena?

  Pauline The organiser. She’s in charge.

  Jack I think I may have seen her on television.

  Pauline Yes. She has been on.

  Jack She’s not very good.

  Pauline Depends what you mean by good.

  Jack She’s a headbanger.

  Pauline She gets emotional. I agree, occasionally it puts people off.

  Jack That wouldn’t matter if she had some command of the facts.

  Pauline Her heart’s in the right place.

  Jack And you think that’s enough?

  Pauline is taken aback by his question, but Jack has already taken the piece of paper.

  Can I ask something?

  Pauline Yes.

  Jack You won’t get upset?

  Pauline Ask anything.

  Jack This is important to you?

  Pauline Well of course it’s important, how it could not be? It’s where I work.

  Jack I understand that.

  Pauline It does what a hospital is meant to do. It serves the community.

  Jack I get that. What I’m asking: personall
y?

  Pauline Personally what?

  Jack For you? As a doctor? Corby is not where you’ll spend your whole life?

  For the first time Pauline understands what he’s getting at.

  Pauline Oh, I see –

  Jack What I’m saying –

  Pauline But –

  Jack No –

  Pauline If –

  Jack Just that –

  He stops.

  Pauline Go on.

  Jack In terms of your own career.

  Pauline In terms of my own career, what, Jack?

  Jack You can get another job.

  Pauline What the hell does that matter?

  Jack You’re not dependent on Corby Hospital. For your own livelihood. That’s my point.

  Pauline And the relevance of that is –?

  Jack Oh, for God’s sake –

  Pauline No, really, I’m asking –

  Jack And what I’m saying is: yes, I can see it will give you a nice warm feeling – on to the barricades and fight the bastards – that’s always nice for a while, it makes you feel good, but it’s not your life you’re talking about, it’s not your future.

  Pauline has got up, disbelieving.

  Pauline I’m not sure I’m quite following you, Jack.

  Jack What you’re doing with this is a gesture, Pauline.

  Pauline A gesture?

  Jack Yes, it’s a gesture. To make yourself feel good.

  Pauline And excuse me, but isn’t that what you like, Jack? You like feeling good. Isn’t that what you just said?

  Jack It’s different.

  Pauline You do it with soft furnishings and restaurants, I do it with petitions. Anything wrong with that?

  Jack It’s not quite the same.

  Pauline Isn’t it?

  Jack No.

  Pauline You just told me: you feel better with a wife called Jessica.

  Jack That’s not what I said.

  Pauline Jack and Jessica, Jack and Jessica, it’s like a fucking children’s story book. ‘Jack and Jessica go to the shops, Jack and Jessica build a Range Rover …’

  Jack Oh, so that’s what this is about …

  Pauline No …

  Jack It’s not about a hospital, it’s about us.

  Pauline ‘Us’? There is no ‘us’.