Remember Me Always: A Contemporary Romance

by Angela Snyder

  "Penny."

  It's Colton, and his voice sounds strained. He sounds upset. I sit straight up in bed, wide awake and concerned. "Colt? What's wrong?"

  "It's…it's Mack," he mutters, his voice cracking with distress.

  Oh no. "I'll be right there," I say in a rush before ending the call. I don't even bother changing out of my PJs, which consist of shorts and a tank top. I simply slip on a pair of sneakers and take off running out of the apartment, down the steps and up the hill to Colton's house. I don't bother knocking, as I burst through the front door. There, on the living room floor, is Colton with Mack lying motionless in his lap. Colton is sobbing as he gently strokes the dog's head.

  Tears instantly blur my vision. I slowly walk over and sit down on the floor beside them. My fingertips tenderly comb through Mack's fur as I repeatedly say, "I'm so sorry, Colt. I'm sorry."

  "I came downstairs to get a drink of water…and he…he was ---." He hiccups and stops talking. Tears stream down his face. I've never seen Colton cry before. Not even when his mom died. He was always strong like that, not wanting to show his feelings on the outside even if he was breaking down on the inside. But it's a good thing that he's letting it all out. He needs to release the pain that he's been keeping locked up inside for so long.

  "He was such a good dog," I whisper. "It seems just like yesterday we went to the farm to get him."

  Colton looks up at me in surprise. I'm sure he has no memory of the day we got Mack or that I was, in fact, along for the ride. After a few moments, he hesitantly says, "Tell me about him when he was a puppy." His brows furrow. "I can't remember."

  I smile through my tears. "Well, I was with you the day you got him. Your dad invited me along for the ride along with you and Connor. We drove out to a farm in the middle of nowhere. They had a litter of bloodhound puppies running around as soon as we got out of the truck. Your dad told you to pick one out, and you walked over to five little wrinkly balls of fur. They all ignored you and went running after your brother and me. Except for one." I look fondly down at Mack. "You scooped him up, and he licked your face, and that was it. He chose you."

  Colton chuckles. "And who named him Mack?"

  "You told me I could name him, and I chose the name Mack." Colton seems taken aback by this revelation. "We took him everywhere with us. He had a lot of adventures when we went hiking and walking in the park. My parents never allowed me to have a pet, so Mack really felt like my dog, too." I swallow past the lump forming in my throat. "I loved him." I lean down and press a kiss over Mack's furry head. "He had a great life, Colton. Any dog would have wanted the life he had. He was truly loved and taken care of."

  My words seem to have an effect on Colton. He grabs me and pulls me to him, and I hold him tightly as he cries in my arms. We cry together for what seems like hours. And I finally feel like Colton is trying to open up and allow me in even if just for a little while.

  "Everyone close to me either gets hurt or dies. Everyone leaves me," Colton whispers in my ear, and I can hear the heartache lacing his voice.

  I wonder if that's why Colton tries to keep me at a distance. Is he subconsciously trying to protect me by pushing me away? I file that away in the back of my mind to think about later. My arms squeeze him a little bit tighter. "I'm here, Colt. I'm not going anywhere."

  He pulls me impossibly closer to him. "I treat you like shit, Penny."

  I shrug a little. I couldn't really disagree with him there, but this is a special circumstance. Colton isn't being a jerk just for the hell of it. The accident turned him into a different person, and for the first time since I've been back into town I'm beginning to realize it's not his fault that any of this is happening. If he hadn't had the brain injury, he would be the same Colton that I knew almost my entire life. It's not his fault that he's changed. But maybe, just maybe I can help bring him back.

  "We can't change the past, but we can try to do better in the future," I tell him.

  He nods in agreement, and I hope that he means it. I want my Colton back more than anything in this world.

  After a while, we gather ourselves up off the floor and set off to do what needs to be done. Colton grabs a shovel from the shed, and I carry Mack's limp body outside. We bury him near the garden and under a shade tree where he loved to lay on a hot summer day. With tears in our eyes and a rainstorm looming overhead, we hold hands and say our last goodbyes to Mack.

  "I'll miss you, Mack. Sleep now, boy. We'll see you again someday," Colton tells him.

  Colton doesn't let go of my hand as he leads me back into his house just as it starts to rain. We spend the next two hours drinking beer on his sofa. We sit in silence, getting pretty close to being shit-faced.

  "Thank you," Colton says after he finishes his last beer.

  I smile at him. "Anytime."

  He stands and moves to one of the windows. Lightning flashes outside and a roar of thunder rumbles through the house. "It's really coming down out there. Why don't you stay the night?" he offers.

  I stretch out on the couch and nod. "The couch is looking mighty fine right now," I say with a yawn.

  He smiles and stares at me for a few moments before he finally goes upstairs. I don't know if he wanted me to sleep with him upstairs or not, but I decided that the couch was the safest and less awkward option. I'm not in the business of pushing my luck when it comes to Colton. I'll take what I can get.

  I grab a throw pillow from the back of the couch, and I'm asleep as soon as my head hits it.

  * * * * *

  SOMEONE IS SCREAMING.

  My eyes snap open as my senses slowly catch up to my sleepy brain. Thunder rumbles outside, and for a moment I think that's what woke me up. And then I hear it again --- Colton is screaming.

  "Shit," I mutter, scrambling up from the couch and running up the steps in a sluggish fog. I go immediately to his old bedroom, not knowing if that's where he still sleeps or not.

  I push open the door and see him on the bed, his hands fisted in the sheets and his head turning rapidly back and forth. "No, no, no!" he's calling out.

  He's having a nightmare. Quickly, I run to the side of the bed and watch him struggling in his dreamy state. It makes me feel sick and completely powerless to see him in that much pain, even if it just a dream. "Colton," I say, gently shaking his shoulder. I think it's going to be better to wake him up than let him live out the obviously horrific nightmare.

  His hands twist the sheets around him, and it's almost like he's drowning in them. "Colton!" I yell. He continues struggling, and I quickly get up on the bed and untangle him from the sheets. It takes a lot of muscle and determination, but I finally rip the fabric from his hands. I throw the sheets to the floor, and a startled cry rips from my throat when I feel Colton grab for me.

  He crushes me against his chest, his hands painfully tugging at my hair. "I couldn't…I couldn't save you," he whispers in my ear.

  I realize he's having a nightmare about the night his brother died. I slowly pry his arms away and place my hands on his shoulders in an attempt to shake him awake. "Colton!" I crawl over on top of him until I'm straddling him with both knees beside his hips on the bed. I take his face gently in my hands and I yell his name again.

  That does the trick. He wakes with a start, panting as if he had just run a marathon. I instinctively place my palm over his bare chest and feel his thunderous heart beat under my skin. "Calm down. I'm here. I'm here, Colt. It was just a dream."

  His eyes snap open, and I stare into the familiar irises. He looks so scared and lost, and my heart instantly breaks for him. Focusing on my face, he asks, "Penny Lane?"

  I see a small note of recognition in his eyes for a split second before it eventually dwindles away. Colton was the only person who ever called me Penny Lane. In fact, he used to always sing Penny Lane by The Beatles to me whenever I was sick or feeling depressed. He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but it always made me feel better. He always did know how to make me smile.


  "Colt," I practically sob. For just that one moment I saw my Colt, the boy I fell in love with before I even knew what love truly meant.

  His brows crease as he looks around the room. "Did I…have a nightmare?"

  "Yes," I say softly. My fingers flex over his chest, and I feel him tense under me. He slowly relaxes after a few moments. "I couldn't wake you up." I choke back my emotions. "You wouldn't wake up."

  He scrubs a hand down his face. "Fuck." He breathes out slowly. "That was a bad one."

  I watch him carefully. "Do you have them often?" I venture to ask.

  He nods.

  I shiver from the cold air blowing from the air conditioner in his window. Colton always did like the AC on high when he slept. The room would be fifty degrees, and he would be curled up under a comforter. That was how he liked it. But now all of blankets and sheets are on the floor, and I'm freezing.

  "Are you cold?" he asks before placing his large hands on my bare thighs. His palms stroke up and down my soft skin, and my breath hitches in my throat.

  The air seems to shift in the room at that moment. I’m locked in Colton's stare, unable to break it. His thumbs leisurely graze the inside of my thighs, sliding under the material of my shorts. It's then when I realize how little clothing both of us have on --- me in a t-shirt and thin shorts with no bra or panties and him only in boxer briefs.

  "Colt," I breathe out as his thumbs brush dangerously close to my clit. The ridge of his erection presses up against me; and my hips involuntarily slide forward and backward, causing Colton to groan under me. His large hands grasp my thighs, and he coaxes me to move in the same motion again and again. His nostrils flare as I slowly rock against him, desperately trying to find relief. Our ragged pants fill the room as we work ourselves up into a frenzy.

  Suddenly, the little spark that was between us ignites into a raging forest fire. I lean down and kiss him hungrily, tugging on his bottom lip with my teeth. His fingers dig into my hips as he moans my name and roughly grinds his erection against me. I break the kiss and gaze down at him as I sit up.

  Without knowing what possesses me, I grab the hem of my t-shirt and drag it up over my head, unceremoniously throwing it to the floor beside the bed. His eyes rake my naked torso without saying a word. It's as if he's memorizing every detail…or perhaps trying to remember. Hesitantly, his hands slide up my flat stomach, and he cups my breasts in his rough palms. His thumbs caress my pebbled nipples, and I gasp. It's been so long since I've had his hands on me. Too damn long.

  "Penny," he groans before thrusting up against me once more.

  Not wanting to wait another second without him inside of me, I crawl off of him and stand at the edge of the bed. As I take off my soaked shorts, he slips out of his boxer briefs. I open the nightstand drawer beside the bed and root around in the contents until I find a small tin. I open it and smirk at the golden foil packets I find. He always hid the condoms in there so his dad wouldn't find them. "You kept the same hiding place," I say with a grin.

  He watches me carefully as I climb back on top of him. He has a worried look on his face, and I lean down and kiss him until he seems to relax. I tear open the condom and manage to skillfully put it on him. Just like riding a bike. You never forget.

  His hand grips his thick shaft, aligning it with my entrance. I gaze down at his devastatingly handsome face as I slowly sink inch by inch down onto him. His mouth opens as a moan escapes his throat. "Fuck. Penny," he growls when I'm fully seated.

  It takes me a few minutes to adjust to his girth before I can start moving my hips. I gasp when I begin to rock slowly on his lap. His hands are on my back, roaming my heated skin as I ride him harder and faster. I almost forgot how good it always felt between us.

  "You're so tight. So wet. So good," he mumbles between thrusts.

  I place my palms on his chest as his fingers dig into my hips, raising me up so he can drive even harder into me. I call out his name as he pounds into me over and over, making it feel so incredibly good I feel like I could pass out. My breasts swing freely in front of his face, and he takes his time drawing each nipple into his mouth, biting gently at my flesh and driving me completely insane.

  I can feel my insides start to shudder as my orgasm starts to take me by force. "Colton," I cry out, digging my fingernails into the muscled flesh of his shoulders.

  In a sudden movement, Colton's hands grip my backside, and he flips me over so that I'm now on my back and he's above me. I gasp in surprise, and his mouth crashes to mine possessively in a bruising kiss.

  He sits back on his knees and runs his cock up and down the length of my slit. My breathing gets faster and my hips undulate as I try to get more friction. "Colt," I moan.

  His eyes seem to darken when I say his name. He continues to torture me until it feels like I'm going to detonate without him even being inside of me.

  "Colt, please," I beg.

  He drags his length against me one last time before he stops, leaving me a panting, quivering mess. "Tell me you want me," he says.

  "I want you. Now. Please."

  His tip presses against my entrance before he plows into me in one quick thrust. My back arches up as I cry out, my voice echoing in the room. He pulls back one last time before entering me again, and this time he doesn't stop. My pussy tightens around him as he drives into me, my hips meeting his thrust for thrust.

  I'm clawing his muscular back and trying to focus on breathing, but it feels too good. I know I'm close, and I'm almost afraid to go over the edge. It might just break me.

  "Your tight pussy is milkin' my cock, baby," Colton groans, and his words almost undo me. "I know you're so damn close. I want you to come for me, Penny," he says before roughly taking my mouth with his, forcing his tongue inside and possessing me. His hips move quicker then, driving into me with a torturous rhythm.

  I hold onto his shoulders as he fills me over and over again. I cry out one last time as an intense orgasm explodes within me, my core squeezing him relentlessly until he fractures right along with me. Colton slams into me one final time before burying himself inside so deep. He whispers my name like a benediction, wrapping his hands around me and pulling me closer. I lie there in his embrace for a long time, and I cherish every second of it.

  Eventually, he collapses onto the bed beside me, taking me with him. I lie there on his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat.

  His fingers lazily trail down the center of my back, making me shudder again. "Wow," I whisper, the word catching in my throat.

  I feel his lips kissing my temple and my cheek, and I want to live in this moment and never leave. I've never felt more content. It's like the last five years washed away, and here we are with a fresh new start.

  Sitting up, I stare down at him. He looks sleepy and sexy with a satisfied smirk on his face. I kiss him one last time before going to the bathroom to clean up. When I come back, he's crawling back into bed with his boxer briefs back on. I watch him pull the sheets and comforter from the floor, spreading them out over the bed. I stand at the end of the bed, not knowing whether I should stay or go back downstairs. He answers for me when he folds down the edge of the blankets and pats the mattress while looking up at me.

  I'm almost giddy as I practically run to the bed and jump in. I curl up next to him as he pulls the covers over top of us. Then he kisses the top of my head like he always used to do before we fell asleep together. I wrap my arm around his waist and sleepily sigh, contentedly.

  "Goodnight, Penny," he whispers.

  "Goodnight, Colt." And then right before I pass out, I whisper, "I love you, Colton James."

  CHAPTER 13

  COLTON

  "I LOVE YOU, Colton James."

  Penny's words echo in my mind over and over the next mornin' as I get out of bed. I stare at her as the first light of day cascades in between the mini blinds, highlightin' her blonde hair spread out over my dark pillow. Her lips are in a sexy pout, and she looks like an angel with her long eyelas
hes fanned out over her cheeks. Last night was like a dream. And if she weren't here right now in my bed and in front of my very own eyes, I probably would be thinkin' that it was all a dream.

  Her chest rises and falls in an even, steady pace, and it's almost hypnotic. I could stand there and watch her all day. But instead, I pull my gaze away from her and get dressed.

  "I love you, Colton James."

  I close my eyes, unable to get those words out of my head. I can still hear them just as if she's speakin' them right now. It was strange hearin' the words come out of her mouth. She was asleep and probably didn't even know she said the words out loud. But she still said them…and I'm still tryin' to get a grip on how those five simple words are affectin' me.

  I force myself to walk out of the bedroom as an intense feelin' of fear courses through my veins. But it's not because of what she said. It's because I almost told her that I love her too.

  Feelin' confused, I head outside and into the shed beside the house. There's a weight bench and a punchin' bag, and I go there when I need to let off some steam. And I suddenly have a lot of steam to release.

  As I'm wrappin' my hands with tape, my thoughts keep driftin' to last night. It still seems unreal. I lost Mack. Penny stayed with me all night, helped me get through yet another nightmare…and then we had sex. I still can't believe all of that happened within the span of a few hours. How did we go from pretty much hatin' each other to sleepin' together?

  When Mack died, Penny was the only person I could think of callin'. Why I didn't call Buddy or Ruby Sue, I have no idea. My mind focused on needin' Penny and only her. And it felt right when she was here.

  But now that we've had sex, things are more complicated than ever.

  Instead of stayin' away from her like I told myself I would, I fucked up and did the one thing I should have never done. Angry with myself, I stand in front of the punchin' bag and take a hard right hook to it. The board the bag hangs from creaks and groans as I slam my fist again and again into the inanimate object.