Finaly My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me Book 2)

by St. James, Brooke

  He and I were no strangers to the dance floor. His family was frequently invited to charity functions, and I always accompanied him. His mom actually bought me dancing lessons the first Christmas we were together so that I wouldn't embarrass the family on such occasions. She also hired an etiquette tutor for me. I was so young at the time that I hadn't even thought to be offended by it. Anyway, now I knew how to conduct myself on a dance floor and how to avoid humiliating others and myself in social situations.

  Robin and I moved around the dance floor easily, and I caught myself feeling swept away by his confidence and poise—at least until I caught sight of Shane and Trish dancing near us. I instantly held Robin closer, praying that I could distract myself.

  "It turned out to be a beautiful wedding, don't you think?" I heard Trish say from my left, even though I was trying not to look that way.

  I knew she was talking to me, so I glanced at her to avoid being rude. I smiled and nodded. "It's really beautiful," I said.

  I promised myself I would not look at Shane, and I succeeded at that until the very last second when I spared a glance at him before looking back at Robin. Dang it. Why had I done that? He was regarding me with a sweet smile that made my knees feel weak. We locked eyes for a split second before I tore my gaze away to stare back at Robin. I held Robin even closer as we continued to sway to the music, praying desperately that his embrace would ease my tension.

  "I'm Carly's friend Trish," I heard her say.

  To my horror, Robin took his hand from mine, stopped dancing, and extended his hand in her direction. What was she doing? Didn't she know you weren't supposed to stop and have a conversation in the middle of the dance floor?

  "You must be Robin," she said.

  "Robin Buller," he responded, with a confident smile and a shake of her hand. Then he extended his hand in Shane's direction. The two men shook hands and smiled at each other.

  "Shane Rollins," Shane said, smiling. I had to remind myself to breathe. How was it that after all these years I was so torn up by him? He had changed significantly, and yet it was as if he hadn't changed at all.

  I glanced around to find that we were standing on the side of the dance floor and it wasn't at all awkward that we had stopped dancing to carry on a conversation. This disappointed me because I was hoping we were in people's way and would need to discontinue the conversation in order to move. The four of us faced each other like two couples would when talking. Everything seemed normal, but my nerves and adrenaline were out of control. Robin put his hand around my waist, and I snuggled closer to him in an effort to show everyone how happy and taken I was.

  Shane and Trish stood next to each other, but didn't make much physical contact, which for some reason made me happy.

  "You don't happen to be part of the Buller family that are cattle ranchers, do you?" Shane asked.

  Robin smiled. "We're mainly in oil, but that's one of our companies, yes."

  "So you're the owner?" Shane asked looking impressed.

  Robin bowed his head graciously. "It's my father's business, but one day, it'll be mine."

  "Wow," Shane said, laughing a little. "My mom's been working out at your ranch for years."

  "Oh, that's excellent," Robin said. "What's she do out there?"

  Shane shrugged and shook his head humbly. "She's some sort of secretary or bookkeeper."

  "Well that's great. It's always a pleasure to meet one of the employees or their family. Did you say your name was Rollins?"

  "Yes. Her name's Deb."

  "Deb Rollins," Robin said. "I'll keep my eye out for her and tell her I met her son."

  "How long have you two been together?" Trish asked, gesturing at Robin and me.

  He looked at me and squeezed my waist with a smile. "Seems like forever, huh baby?"

  "Three years," I said, smiling at him before looking at Trish.

  "I'm sure we'll be the ones making wedding plans before too long," he said.

  I glanced at him with a surprised expression, and he let out a little laugh as he bent to kiss me and squeeze me possessively.

  "Aww, that's so sweet," Trish said.

  "You look familiar for some reason," Shane said.

  Robin and I both glanced at him to see that he was staring straight at me. The hold Robin had around me tightened. "She graduated from Reagan and now she's studying at San Antonio College," he said, before I could speak, "but you probably just recognize her from the wedding. She was the one standing up there beside your girlfriend." His comment was meant to be funny and we all laughed a little.

  Shane shook his head as he continued to stare at me. "No, I saw her outside before the ceremony began, and even then, I thought she looked familiar."

  "She's got a familiar face," Robin said, still not letting me speak. "She gets that all the time."

  That wasn't true at all. No one ever told me I looked familiar, and he knew it. I turned to face Robin, looking slightly confused. Part of me was relieved he had taken over the conversation since I didn't want Shane to figure out who I was, but the other part was offended that he wouldn't let me speak.

  "How'd you guys run into each other outside?" Robin asked, picking up on that bit of Shane's comment.

  "I had gone to the car to get something for Carly," I said. "I accidentally dropped it on my way back into the church and he helped me find it."

  This answer satisfied Robin who smiled at me before bending to kiss my head again.

  "Maybe we can all get together sometime," Trish said. She smiled at me. "We talked about having a regular girls' night, but there's no reason why we couldn't include the boys sometime."

  I gave her a huge smile. "Definitely!" I said, even though I knew it would never happen. There was absolutely no way I would subject myself to being in the same room with Shane Rollins again.

  "Shane," we heard a man's voice saying from the side of the dance floor. All of us glanced over to see his brother, Brock, standing there with a serious expression. He flicked his head in a gesture that said he wanted Shane to come over there, and Shane did so immediately.

  "Excuse me," Shane said from over his shoulder as he walked in Brock's direction.

  Trish glanced at us with unapologetic expression. "He'll probably have to leave. His brother has been having a little trouble since he's been home from Iraq, and he doesn't do well in crowds." She shrugged. "I was surprised they even stayed this long." She smiled and followed Shane off the dance floor.

  "It was nice meeting you," Robin said. She turned to us with a wave and smile.

  Robin smiled at me before sweeping me off my feet and back onto the middle of the dance floor. I giggled at the thrill of being spun into motion. Robin held me close as we began to move to the music.

  "What's this about a girls' night?" he asked.

  "It's nothing," I said. "The other night when we were having dinner, someone mentioned us doing it again, but it won't amount to anything."

  Robin didn't say anymore. We went right on dancing for the next three songs until someone announced that it was time to cut the cake. We watched as Carly and Micah made the traditional first cut before her mom and mine stepped in to begin cutting slices and serving them.

  Trish must've been right about Shane having to go home because I saw her in the crowd, but Shane wasn't with her. The music went on for a while. I danced one more time with Robin and once with each of my brothers and my dad. Thomas was the last person I danced with before the band quit playing.

  "This wedding means Carly's my sister now, and she's Micah's wife," Thomas said. He glanced at me as if he might have said something wrong. "But you’re my first sister—my real baby sister."

  "That's right," I said. "And this wedding makes Carly my sister too."

  Thomas stared at me with a look of serious shock as if the thought never crossed his mind. "She is?" he asked.

  "Yep," I said. "Isn't that cool?"

  "Yeah," he said. "Are you gonna take science class with her?"

&nb
sp; "Maybe," I said. "I was thinking about coming to Happy House to see what you guys were doing sometime."

  "Yessss!" Thomas said, taking his hand off my shoulder so he could pump his fist. He replaced it on my shoulder, and we swayed back and fourth for several long seconds as he looked around.

  I was preoccupied with how strange it was that I ran into Shane and had no clue what Thomas was thinking. I followed his line of vision to see that he was staring straight at Robin, who was talking to my parents.

  "When you get married your husband will be my brother," he said.

  "Yes, he will," I said. Having seen that he was staring at Robin, I added, "Do you think that'll be Robin?"

  He glanced at me with a serious expression. "No," he said simply. Thomas was extremely sweet, and it sort of shocked me that he would say something like that.

  "Why don't you think I'll marry Robin?" I asked.

  He shook his head, still looking serious. "Because I don't."

  "Do you not want me to?"

  "No," he said flatly.

  "You better not let him hear you say that?"

  His eyes widened slightly, looking a little fearful. "Why not?"

  I smiled. "Because it'd probably hurt his feelings. He's been my boyfriend for a long time, and I'm sure he wants to marry me one day."

  "Yeah, but you don't want to marry him back."

  I glanced at Thomas with an incredulous expression. "What makes you say that?"

  "I just know because you're my baby sister, remember?"

  I held back a smile. "Thomas, you can't say things like that in front of Robin, you know. It would hurt his feelings."

  "I won't," Thomas said.

  "Robin has a good family," I added, feeling a little defensive.

  "They have lots of money," he said.

  "Yes they do."

  "Money doesn’t make them good," he said.

  Just as he said that, the song was ending. I kissed him on the cheek. "You might be right, but you know you can't repeat that sort of thing in front of him."

  "I know."

  Chapter 6

  Robin's family had two huge Christmas parties every year, one for their employees, (which was at a convention center they rented out for the evening) and one for their friends and family (which was at their home). Robin and I were expected to attend both.

  The one for their employees was labeled a "holiday party" and happened sometime in mid-December. Robin and I got to miss that one this year on account of Micah and Carly's wedding. The official Buller Christmas party, however, was usually scheduled closer to Christmas, and missing it wasn't an option.

  The Buller's extended an invitation to my family every year, but they always declined, which worked out for everybody since that type of thing wasn't my parents' cup of tea, pun intended. It was a formal affair, something like you'd read about in a historical novel with plenty of snobbery and gossip, and my parents' just weren't into that sort of thing.

  Despite the fact that my parents never accepted theirs, invitations to the Buller Christmas party were a highly sought after commodity in San Antonio. This year was going to be their grandest party yet. Robin's parents had been talking about the guest list for months. It included countless millionaire entrepreneurs, several well-known musicians and producers, and a few famous athletes. Being that I was always looking out for my brother, I told him that maybe he and Carly should try to come this year so he could rub some elbows for his concrete business. He originally declined, but Carly said she wouldn't mind checking out such a party, so Micah changed his mind and agreed.

  Carly was going to borrow the dress I wore two years before, but I had plans to purchase a new one. I should have done it sooner, but I was embarrassed by the bruises on my arms that looked suspiciously like they'd been left by fingertips, so I had put it off. They were completely faded by now, but I only had a few days till the party, and I would need to find a dress that didn't need to be altered.

  I asked Carly to come with me on my mission to choose one so that I could give her the lowdown on what to expect at the party. We had already been to one dress store with no luck, and were on our way to the second when I randomly asked, "How'd it go with Trish at Happy House?" I was driving, and I took my eyes off the road for a split second to glance at her.

  "It went well," she said. "Do you ever get to go hang out there?"

  "I've been thinking about it lately," I said. "I thought about getting a job at a book store, but Robin wasn't too happy about that. I figured he wouldn't mind if I volunteered at Happy House a little bit." I shrugged. "I thought maybe I'd talk to Trish and coordinate something with her."

  "Why wasn't Robin happy with you working at a bookstore?" she asked.

  I hadn't expected her to hang onto that bit of information, and I swallowed, giving myself time to think of a response. "He, uh, he just knows I don't really need to get a job right now. You know, since money's not an issue or whatever."

  I glanced at her to find that she was staring at me with a dumbfounded expression. "Why are you going to college then?"

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  "I mean, is he going to let you get a job once you're done with school?"

  "It's not that he won't let me get a job," I said, defensively. "He just knows I'm concentrating on school, and says there's no need right now."

  She hesitated for a few seconds before she spoke again. "Well, I definitely think you should check out Happy House. You and Trish could work something out where you build off of what the other one does. She's only volunteering once a week, so I know they'd really love for you to start coming."

  The thought of volunteering at Happy House made me ecstatic. I was sort of bummed that Trish beat me to the punch as their English teacher, but was excited at the idea of working with her.

  "She and Shane broke up," Carly said from out of nowhere while I was busy daydreaming about volunteering. A hot gush of nerves and excitement washed through my body, making an uncontrollable smile spread across my face. Obviously, it was inappropriate for me to smile at such a thing, so I made myself cough a few times till I could calm my nerves.

  "I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked, acting like I hadn't heard her over the coughing.

  "Oh, I just said Trish and her boyfriend broke up. I don't know if you met him. He was at the wedding."

  "I met him," I said. "That's terrible. What happened?"

  "It was his brother. Did I tell you how he just got released from rehab or whatever?"

  I nodded without taking my eyes off the road.

  "Well, apparently he's been hanging out with a friend from the Navy since he's been back." She sighed, and I could tell she was trying to figure out how much she should tell me.

  "Did Trish cheat on Shane with one of their friends?" I asked.

  "No, no, nothing like that." She hesitated, but continued, "I think sometimes those guys have a hard time when they get back. You know sometimes they've seen a lot and have been injured. Anyway, I think either Brock or this friend of his is struggling with a pill addiction, and well, some of Trish's jewelry went missing after they were all hanging out at her house one night."

  I took a breath in through my teeth, imagining how awkward that must have been.

  "Brock swears he didn't take anything, but it's hard to say. She says she knows for sure it went missing the night they were over there." She paused. "Those guys have been through a lot."

  "So Trish broke up with Shane over it?" I asked.

  "Yeah," Carly said, sadly. "One of the rings that went missing belonged to her grandmother, and she was really upset about the whole thing. She liked Shane and everything, but she told him she just didn't feel safe with that sort of sketchiness going on. She said the PTSD was stressful enough, but Brock or his friends stealing from her was more than she was willing to put up with. She wanted Shane to kick his brother out of his house, or press charges or whatever, but Shane wouldn't do it. He said Brock would never do something like that." />
  "What's Micah gonna do?" I asked, knowing Brock had already started work for him.

  "Micah says Brock shows up to work on time everyday and does exactly as he's told. He likes him. He said he can tell Brock's got some things to work through or whatever, but he doesn't think he's a thief."

  "So he plans to hang onto him?" I asked.

  I glanced at Carly who shrugged. "I think so," she said. "You know how he is about second chances."

  "Is Trish upset about that?"

  "We haven't really talked about it," she said. "She told me the story about her jewelry and that it ended with her breaking it off with Shane, and we sort of left it at that."

  "Was she upset about ending it with Shane?" I asked, unable to imagine why anyone would break up with Shane Rollins.

  "They really hadn't been dating all that long," she said. "I'm not saying she didn't like him, but obviously his brother's issues outweighed being with him. I think she was really ticked about that ring."

  And then, in a moment of sheer deliriousness on my part, I blurted something out that I should have never said. "That's my Shane," I said.

  I couldn't believe I said it. It was like the words were floating in the air in front of me and I wished so desperately that I could grab them and shove them back into my mouth. What was I thinking?

  "What?" she asked.

  "Nothing," I said, unable to stop a delirious giggle from escaping my lips.

  "You said that's your Shane," she said, as if I needed reminding.

  I continued to giggle. "I don't know what I was saying. I was trippin' for a second."

  "Was he the one you had a crush on when you were a kid?" she asked, wide-eyed.

  "What? Me? No." I hesitated, and since I was a terrible liar, I amended, "Probably."

  "Are you serious?" she asked in awe.

  I sighed, knowing it was useless to deny it. I was already in too deep. "It's probably the same guy," I said meekly.