One Summer in Santa Fe

by Molly Evans

  “Cool,” Alex whispered, and carried the plate to the table.

  Taylor said nothing, but watched the interplay between the two and accepted the plate set in front of him.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  A SHORT hour later, Piper entered the hospital and followed the signs to the ICU on the second floor. The nerves she’d kept at bay earlier now flooded through her, and she had to stop before she rounded the last corner. Closing her eyes, she took a few centering breaths. This wasn’t about seeing Taylor again. This wasn’t about them as a non-couple, this was about being a friend to him, to Alex, and helping them through a tough situation. No matter how she felt, they needed her right now.

  Raised voices pulled her from her inner pep-talk, and she stepped into the hall leading to the ICU.

  Taylor stood nose to nose with another physician. Alex was backed into a corner by the door, his eyes wide and fearful.

  “Hi, guys. What’s going on?” she asked, and tried to project a calm energy toward Taylor who looked like he needed it. His face was red and his fists clenched at his sides. Testosterone fairly scorched the air.

  “Dr. Jenkins here is being a butt-head.”

  Piper recognized Ian McSorley and knew he was a friend of Taylor. “I see. Is Caroline okay?” She looked between the two from Ian’s amused expression to the thunder brewing in Taylor’s.

  “She has to go back to surgery,” Taylor said.

  “And you want to scrub in, right?” she asked, knowing without asking that was going to be the issue.

  After a pause and a sideways glare, he said, “Yes.”

  “Bad idea, Taylor. You know that.” Dr. McSorley folded his arms over his chest, and stared down his friend, the patience of a saint in his expression. “You are out of line with the request. Again. If our roles were reversed, you’d treat me the same, too.”

  “I’d cut you a break because you’re a colleague.” Taylor’s eyes were narrowed and cold as he glared at Ian who only grinned, which seemed to madden Taylor further.

  “No, you’d kick my ass out the door, which is what I’m doing to you.”

  Taylor flinched, dumbfounded surprise showing on his features. “Are you kidding me?”

  Ian grinned and included Piper. “Nope. Will you take this guy out of here for a while or suture his mouth shut?” he asked her, and gave a charming smile which she returned.

  “I don’t know if that’s included in my skill set.” She glanced at Taylor and motioned Alex to her. “But I’ll try.”

  “Can I see my mom now?” Alex whispered.

  “Go in, Alex. Piper can take you.” Ian gave the directive, but stepped in front of Taylor to bar his entry. “You and I need to have a man-to-man. In private.”

  Piper left Taylor and Ian to their conversation and escorted Alex to his mother’s bedside. They spoke to the ICU nurse who apprised them of the situation. “She’s stable now, so the doctor wants to go in and fix her wrist. It wasn’t urgent last night.”

  “Is she awake at all?” Piper asked, and stroked Alex’s hair.

  “Yes, in and out. She’s still got the breathing tube, so she can’t talk, but I’m certain she’ll hear you.”

  With an arm on his shoulders, Piper led Alex to the side of the bed. “Let’s see if she’s awake.”

  “Mom? It’s me, Alex, again. I’m here with Piper. She’s a nurse, Uncle T.’s friend.” He touched her hand, and she slowly clasped his fingers. Pure excitement on his face, he turned to Piper. “She’s holding my hand.”

  Tears flooded her eyes at Alex’s hopeful words. Wasn’t that what it all boiled down to in life? Hope? If things weren’t the way you wanted them, there was always hope for change. If you gave up on hope, there wasn’t much else to live for.

  “That’s great. Taylor’s going to be happy, too.”

  The man’s heavy sigh behind her alerted her to his presence. “She’s doing better, isn’t she?”

  “Uncle T.! She’s squeezing my hand.”

  Piper moved back to let him into the small space beside his nephew. “That’s good. She’s going to go back to surgery in a little while have her wrist fixed, so we’ll have to leave in a few minutes.”

  “No! I don’t want to leave her.”

  Alex’s heartfelt cry squeezed Taylor’s heart, and he reached out to the boy. “I know. I know. Neither do I, but for now we have to let the doctors and nurses take care of her.”

  “But you’re a doctor, and Piper’s a nurse. Why can’t you take care of her? Please?” His watery gaze included both of them, and Taylor pressed his lips together, unable to form words. They wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He looked at Piper and held his hand out to her, needing her help, needing her right now in this very emotional time that he was so unfamiliar with. Depending on her made him weak, but right now he couldn’t find the strength he thought he had. Jumping out of a plane with a faulty ’chute would be better than this.

  “We are, honey, but when our family member is a patient, we’re not allowed to take direct care of them. It’s kind of a rule.”

  “Why not? You’re the best doctor and nurse ever!” Alex cried, and his voice cracked.

  Just then the anesthesiologist arrived to review the chart.

  “Come on, Alex. Let’s go—” Taylor started.

  “No!” He pulled away from them and clung to his mother’s hand. “She needs me, and I’m staying here with her.”

  “It’s okay, son,” the anesthesiologist said. “You can stay with her and hold her hand all the way to the OR doors, okay?”

  Alex nodded, and glared at Taylor.

  “Why don’t you and I get out of the way and give Alex a minute with her?” Piper said, and tugged on Taylor’s sleeve. With another sigh, he allowed her to lead the way out of the cubicle and to the coffeepot provided for families. He didn’t speak, but stared into the depths of his cup.

  “It’s different, isn’t it?” she asked, her voice soft and full of compassion.

  “What?”

  “Being on the other side of things. Not in charge, not the one calling the shots, not the one fixing everything.”

  “Yes.” He couldn’t begin to explain how different it was. Having been there herself, Piper knew exactly what was going through him.

  “Hurts, too, doesn’t it?”

  Taylor turned away without answering. Despite having made love early that morning, he didn’t feel close to her at the moment. He didn’t know what he wanted. Didn’t know what he needed. Right now he just wanted to be left alone. Alone was what he was good at. Entanglements got him into situations like the one he was currently in. The allure of Piper was almost too much, he almost wanted to reach out to her, to tell her what he was feeling for her, but he just couldn’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever. Maybe a bit of fresh air would clear his head. “I need to go for a walk, clear my head. Can you stay with Alex for me?”

  Piper stared at him a second before she gave the answer that would tear her heart in two. “No, I can’t.”

  At that, he turned to face her, shock on his face. “What?”

  “No, I can’t stay with Alex for you anymore.” She dumped her coffee and tossed the cup in the trash. “I just can’t, Taylor. I can’t be around you, I can’t be with Alex right now. I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

  He stepped closer and took her by the arm. “I thought we were friends, Piper.”

  “Yes. We have been. We’ve been friends and lovers and now I can’t be either to you.” Tears swirled in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall. “I’ve got to figure out what I’m doing on my next assignment or where I’m going, what I want to do next.”

  Taylor dragged a hand through his hair. “What’s going on? What’s the matter with you? I need you right now. Don’t you know that?”

  “Yes, I know. I can’t be with you just because it’s convenient for you to need me right now. When this is all over, you won’t need me anymore, and I can’t live like that.” No. She just couldn’t do it anymore.
The past was headed for a repeat if she didn’t stop it now. If only Taylor had said he wanted her with him, wanted her company, her presence, her support, that would have been different. Wanted her, not needed her.

  “Live like what?”

  Her lower lip trembled, and she took in a breath before she buckled and gave in to him. “Loving a man who doesn’t love me back.” With a hand pressed to her mouth, she turned to walk away.

  Taylor felt like someone had punched him in the gut, and for a second he couldn’t breathe, let alone take in what she had just said. He was such a bastard. He didn’t want to hurt her but, dammit, he needed her help right now. Needed her more than he’d ever needed anyone in his life.

  “You…you love me?” he asked, not really expecting an answer.

  Tears now overflowed her eyes and she didn’t seem to happy about it. “Yes, Taylor. Fool that I am, I love you.” Her lower lip trembled and she turned away from him.

  With unnamed emotions shooting through him, he reached out a trembling hand and placed it on her shoulder before she walked away from him for good. “Piper, please.”

  She stopped, but didn’t turn back to him. She waited and he felt every tense muscle in her shoulder.

  “To say this comes as a shock to me is a gross understatement. I don’t deserve your friendship, let alone your love.”

  Finally, she turned to face him again, the hurt in her eyes plain to see. He hated that he had put it there, and he wasn’t sure he could make it go away. Reaching out to her, he cupped her face so she didn’t withdraw from him again.

  “Will you please stay? I don’t know what’s going to happen between us, but I know if you leave we’ll never know.”

  For a few seconds that seemed a lifetime to him, she stared at him silently, assessing the truth in his words. He didn’t know if what he felt for her was love or not. But he knew that the thought of never seeing her again made him want to crumble to his knees.

  “Do you think you could extend your assignment for just a little while?”

  “Why? I can’t just stay because there’s an opening. Any travel nurse can fill the position.”

  Unable to answer right away, he simply breathed and looked at her face. Pain and hurt and somehow hope all were exposed raw. “For Alex. For Caroline. For me.”

  “Why?”

  The word was harsh in his brain and the searing pain in his chest hadn’t subsided. He opened his mouth, but nothing that made sense formed in his brain. She loved him, that’s all that swam around in his mind. She loved him.

  She took a defiant step forward, challenging him. “Tell me why, Taylor. I need to know.”

  “Because I need you, Piper. I need you. The right words won’t come, but I need you.” His voice cracked.

  “Then I’ll stay. For Alex. For Caroline. And for you. Until Caroline is out of danger, I’ll stay. After that, I can’t make any promises.”

  “Thank you, Piper.” He took her hand and squeezed, wanting to drag her into his arms, but if he did, he knew he might not ever let go. “You don’t know what this means to me.”

  “No, I don’t. It’s up to you to let me know that.”

  “I will. I’ll make it up to you somehow, I promise.”

  “No promises you can’t keep, Taylor.” She withdrew her hand. “I’d rather have it honest and painful than be misled.”

  “I’d never do that to you, Piper.”

  “Time will tell. It’s all up to you now.”

  Her arms went around him, and they held on to each other as emotions unnamed swirled around them. Taylor fit Piper against him and squeezed his eyes shut. Everything about her fit, he didn’t care what she said about them being poles apart. In the important things, they fit. Not the little details that they could work out. And he couldn’t let go of that now. Maybe not ever. “I don’t know if I can give you more than that, but if you don’t stay, we’ll never have a chance to find out.”

  For long minutes they simply stood there and held on to each other. The noises of the ICU washed over and around them, but they seemed immune to the outside forces moving nearby. Finally, Piper eased back, tear smudges on her face, and she had left a wet mark on Taylor’s shirt. She took a shaky breath and looked up at him. At that moment he knew he felt more for her than he had for any woman. He couldn’t let go of that or his soul would never be the same again. Was that love? He didn’t know, but he couldn’t make himself let her go.

  “I’ll go call my company and see what they can arrange.” She took another step back. “At this point, I’m only willing to stay until Caroline’s out of the hospital and rehab, which will likely be just a few weeks.”

  “I understand.” What she didn’t say aloud was what he knew in his gut. It was going to be up to him whether she stayed beyond that. From here on out, everything that happened was on his head. Something shifted in Taylor as he looked at her. He knew she loved him. And he felt things for her that he had never felt before. Was that love? Was it simple lust gone wild? Or was it wanting to keep the loneliness at bay? He didn’t know, but he damned sure was going to find out if this thing between them was going to survive the test of time. It was certainly being tested now, which didn’t bode well for a long-term relationship.

  “I’ll go talk to Emily, too, and be back in a while.”

  “I’ll be waiting for you.”

  She gave him a small smile and took the stairs to the ER.

  Time ticked by slowly for Taylor as he sat at Caroline’s bedside after the second surgery. Piper had successfully extended her contract for four weeks, starting in one week, which gave her a break of seven days in between. That meant he had five weeks to convince her to stay. Or she was going to leave for good. He knew that.

  God, he just hoped that Caroline’s recovery was uncomplicated—no infections, no blood clots, no setbacks. He stared at the monitors, at Caroline’s vital signs displayed in glowing green numbers, illuminating the dark of the room. Stable. The respirator had been removed and the tube taken from her throat so that she would be able to talk again when she woke. A simple nasal cannula provided the essential oxygen she needed. Though this was progress, he still couldn’t relax, wouldn’t give up his vigil at her bedside.

  If only she’d wake up properly, he’d feel much better about her condition, know in his heart that she was going to survive and be his sister again. For so many years it had just been the two of them, depending on each other for support. If he lost her now, he didn’t know what he’d do. Losing Piper would break his heart. If he lost Caroline, too, he’d lose his mind.

  He rested his head on the edge of her bed and closed his eyes with a sigh. He was so tired, physically and emotionally. A tingling sensation began in his hair and tugged. He shot upright as Caroline’s fingers moved with purpose. That was a fabulous sign of improvement. As he looked at her face, her eyes cracked open and held his gaze. She was in there.

  “Hi, Caro,” he said, and reached out to touch her face as a thrill of relief shot through him. “You’re back.”

  Nodding, she tried to speak, but her throat wouldn’t make words yet. Taylor reached over for a mouth sponge and wet it, brought it to her mouth to moisten it. “Hi,” she said, finally.

  Taylor spoke to her, filling her in on what her injuries were, what had happened. Tears overflowed her eyes as she listened. “Alex?”

  “He’s at rock-climbing camp today. He missed a few days, but I figured it was better for him to go than to hang around the hospital so much. I’ll bring him by after camp.” He left out the part where he felt totally incompetent in dealing with Alex’s grief. Other than spending time with the kid, there was little he could do at the moment until they knew how Caroline’s recovery was going to go.

  Another nod and she closed her eyes, rested a moment, then opened them again. “Who’s Piper?” she asked.

  Stunned, Taylor stared at her. “You know about Piper?” he asked.

  Frowning, she closed her eyes again, thinking. “I remember
something. Soft. Warm. Loving.”

  Yes, Piper was all that and more. So much more, and he was beginning to see it, was beginning to not want to let go of it, beginning to see the change in himself. “She’s an ER nurse who took care of you when you first came in. A friend.”

  “More.” The frown remained, as she opened her eyes. “Isn’t she?”

  “Yes, she’s much more.” Taylor huffed out a shaky breath as emotions poured through him. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he struggled to control himself. He couldn’t appear weak in front of Caroline now, but he was so relieved. He needed to be strong for her, for Alex. Giving in to an emotional weakness was just plain unmanly. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to. But it seemed that his heart had other plans. Not long ago, he’d broken down with Piper, admitting things to her he’d never have done previously. A few deep breaths and clamping an iron will on the emotions he struggled to contain, he finally opened his damp eyes. “She’s much more.”

  Caroline stared at him, her eyes clearer than they had been moments ago. “Tell me.” She looked into Taylor’s face. “You have feelings for her.”

  “Yes.” He could no longer deny it. These feelings for Piper were stronger than anything he’d ever known. Sure, he’d had relationships, but they’d been the casual, no-strings-attached kind. What he felt for Piper was entirely different.

  “Tell me, T.” She squeezed his hand. “Who is she?”

  With a nod, he looked down at their entwined hands. This was his big sister that he’d share his joys and sorrows with all through his life. How was he going to tell her he loved a woman but couldn’t say the words? “She’s wonderful, and…I think I’m in love with her.” For the first time, he was able to admit that aloud and knew that it was true. The fear building in him nearly choked his throat closed. How could he ask Piper to stay when he was such a failure at relationships? How could he ask her to give him one more chance when he’d had more chances than he deserved?