The Road Home

by Palmer, Fiona

  ‘Don’t even think you can kick me off my land. This land has been in my family for years, and you’re not going to run me off it, ever.’

  He started to realise what she was saying, and then he saw his name on the paper. The agreement. ‘Oh no. Lara, let me explain —’

  ‘Don’t bother, Jack. You’ve had it in for me from the start. Now I know why. Well, you know what? I’m not giving up this place without a fight. I may not have had much to do with the farm, but right now I’m trying to earn that right.’ She flung her arms around, her face red. Damn, was she gorgeous. He tried to speak again but she cut him off.

  ‘Last night was a mistake. Was it all a part of your plan or did you not count on that? It doesn’t matter, anyway,’ she said, pacing in front of him. ‘Just because you couldn’t have your farm in New Zealand doesn’t mean you can steal mine away from me. Taking over Erindale is not going to help you shift that godforsaken chip off your shoulder. You need to go home and sort that shit out. You won’t get rid of your anger until you do.’ She poked her finger into his chest. ‘You’re a real piece of work, Jack. You’re not even a good friend,’ she growled.

  Now she had tears in her eyes. He took a step back from the force of her words. Hell. He’d deserved most of her ranting, but not that last part … He was a loyal friend, always. He took pride in his friendships.

  ‘What are you on about?’

  ‘Noah! You know, your supposed-to-be best mate, Noah? The one who’s got a gambling problem? That Noah.’ Lara was sobbing between breaths and words.

  Jack grabbed her by the shoulders and held her still. ‘For Christ’s sake, woman. What the hell are you saying?’

  She drew in a deep breath, calmed herself, sniffed one last time and shot him a hurtful look. ‘Did you know Noah has spent fifty-odd grand gambling, maybe more, and he’s still at it? He has a problem! A major problem. And if you were a real friend, you’d have known about it, you’d have been able to stop him before it got this bad.’

  Jack was too stunned to reply. Noah, addicted to gambling? He would have laughed if Lara didn’t look so terrifying. She started pushing him in his chest, forcing him backwards.

  ‘Just leave, Jack. You’re not needed or welcome here.’ Her voice dropped, wounded and soft. ‘I thought I saw something in you, underneath all that resentment, but I was deluding myself. I don’t think you want to change, Jack. I think you like being angry at the world for how your life’s turned out. But you know what? You’re the only one in control of it. You want someone to blame, someone to be angry at? Well, go look in a mirror.’ She shoved him backwards again as her voice grew strong. ‘Now, get off my property.’ She backed away into the yard, slamming the gate behind her. ‘Leave!’ she screamed, watching him from behind the gate.

  He was completely floored. Slowly he turned around and headed to his ute, his mind far away. He tried to make sense of Lara’s words, her hurt expression, but it all blurred together. And Noah. It couldn’t be true. But the hatred he saw in Lara’s eyes, the contempt – it said it all. He sat in the ute and put his hands on the steering wheel.

  How could he not have noticed? Sure, Noah liked his poker nights and going to the casino, but so did lots of their mates. As he started the ute, he tried to think back to the times they’d been out together. Had he missed important, telltale signs? Noah was always depressed after a loss, but who wasn’t? Maybe he’d been losing thousands and pretending it was only hundreds. Had Jack been so loyal, that he’d been gullible?

  ‘Shit.’ He hit the steering wheel. How could he have missed it? And Lara? Well, he hated the fact that she thought badly of him but right now Noah came first. Lara would find out the truth soon enough; she was in no state to hear it from him just now. Jack left Erindale and the haunting image of Lara’s tear-stained face.

  30

  NOAH stretched his legs as he got out of the ute, the cool air fresh on his face. The sun was setting on another autumn day, which had been perfect for seeding. Mandy’s dad was still going around and around, seeding the last of the oats for feed. But he was knocking off early. He’d do the longer shift tomorrow. As he walked to the back door of the old house, past the overgrown garden and outback toilet, he noticed that the lights were on inside. Mandy must be home already.

  ‘Hey, babe. You knocked off early?’ he asked, kissing her head as he went past on his way to the fridge for a beer.

  ‘Can you come and sit down? We need to talk.’

  ‘Sure. What’s up? It looks serious. Don’t tell me your dress doesn’t fit.’ Noah pulled a face and scraped the wooden chair against the floor as he sat down. He knew something was up when Mandy didn’t even crack a smile at his teasing. She usually loved his sense of humour.

  She held him down with her hazel eyes, which were swimming with discontent. Instantly he thought of his stash.

  ‘Noah, we need to talk about the fifty grand you took out from the account.’

  Alarm bells rang. They rang so loudly he thought he’d been stuck in the Perth Belltower right on chime time. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening now. He was so close to winning it all back.

  ‘Yeah, I told you that was to pay Lara back. We settled all this.’ He pictured the wads of cash tucked away in his travel bag, ready for his trip to Perth. Just the thought of it brought him out in an excited sweat. He jumped as Mandy slammed her hand on the table.

  ‘Damn it, Noah! The lies need to stop here.’ He forced his eyes to meet hers, where he saw tears pooling. ‘I’ve talked with the bank, I’ve talked with Lara —’

  Noah cut her off. ‘I told you to leave her out of this. She’ll just say all sorts of things.’

  ‘For Christ’s sake, Noah. Stop lying!’ Mandy sobbed.

  He swallowed hard, unsure of what to do next. If he just sat here and played dumb, would it all go away? Would he be able to hide a little of the money, even just for a few bets? He still had the money for Aaron, hidden in a sock in his drawer. Would that be enough to turn his losing streak around? What if he told Mandy how sure he was that he could win it all back with the money he took? They still had more left in the account from the house sale. Surely she wouldn’t care about him having some? Not all of it was going on the new house.

  ‘Noah, I love you.’ He turned his focus back to her as she wrung her fingers together on the table. ‘I still want to marry you and I want to help you. I need you to let me help you.’ Mandy swiped at the tears, leaving shiny streaks down her tanned cheeks. ‘Please, Noah. You have a problem. You can’t keep feeding it, otherwise we’ll have nothing left,’ she pleaded.

  ‘It’s not that bad, Mandy,’ he said softly. ‘I’m being careful. I know I can turn it all around for us. Don’t worry.’

  She took a deep, centring breath. ‘You said before that you would stop. Clearly you can’t. You’re leaving me with no choice.’ Mandy held out her hand. ‘I want it all: your cards, cheque book, cash, the lot, Noah. I want it all on this table now.’

  Panic. Cornered. Suffocated. She couldn’t do this to him. He knew that he could win big for them soon. If he could just get to Perth, he’d show her. He’d show them all that he could make it. His winning hand wasn’t far away.

  ‘No. No, you can’t do that,’ he said more forcefully. He just needed one more go. The picture of all those green hundred-dollar notes, all neatly grouped, taunted him.

  ‘Damn it, Noah. It’s for your own good. I want it all now!’ she screamed.

  ‘And you think you can make me?’ he challenged.

  He saw her eyes darken with fear and instantly he felt bad. But then they widened with sudden relief as she glanced towards the back door.

  ‘If she can’t, then I will,’ came a deep, familiar voice behind him.

  Noah swung around. ‘Jack! What on earth are you doing here?’

  Jack stood beside Amanda, staying quiet and just giving her the strength she needed to confront her fiancé. Time was passing slowly but Jack was in no hurry. He’d stay until he
was certain his best friend was alright.

  ‘Noah, you still haven’t told me what you did with all that money you withdrew,’ Amanda said as she collected all the cards and money that they’d made him put on the table.

  Jack could see Noah’s mind working. He didn’t want to give it all up.

  ‘I’ll go get it.’ Noah walked out, Jack followed. ‘I said I’d get it!’ he growled.

  ‘Yeah, well, I’m coming to watch. I don’t want you hiding some of it.’ Noah’s shoulders dropped a fraction. His game was over. Hidden in his bag in his bedroom was the cash.

  ‘Is that all?’

  Noah rolled his eyes and retrieved another small wad of cash from under his bottom drawer. ‘That’s it. I promise.’

  Back at the table, they all sat, staring at the money. Amanda drummed her fingertips while Noah jiggled his leg and Jack felt the muscle in his jaw pulse.

  ‘Well, I guess the first thing to do is for me to put this back in the bank, and then take you in to see someone,’ said Amanda, looking to Jack for support.

  ‘I don’t need a shrink,’ Noah argued.

  Amanda pulled out some information from her back pocket. ‘I found this pamphlet online. It’s a centre for when gambling becomes a problem and it’s here in Esperance. It’s for family members as well so we can try to help and understand.’

  ‘Noah, you will be doing this,’ Jack added. ‘And we will be with you all the way.’

  ‘Thanks, Jack.’ Amanda took a deep breath and continued. ‘I’ve already called and we have our first visit tomorrow.’

  Noah stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor, and went to his bedroom.

  ‘Just leave him,’ said Jack, seeing the panic in Amanda’s eyes. ‘He needs to adjust to us intervening. It’s not going to be easy. He can’t admit it to us when he hasn’t admitted it to himself.’

  ‘I can just feel the electricity in the air,’ said Mel with amazement. ‘I’m so glad I got to experience a thunderstorm out here before heading back to the city.’

  It was late in the day, around five o’clock, and Lara and Mel sat in the old wooden two-seater chair, Gretel and both dogs asleep at their feet. Mel had taken the weekend off to visit Lara and cheer her up, and they’d spent the first day drinking, eating and watching old movies – with a big emphasis on eating. Chocolate had been consumed by the kilogram, but it was all for medicinal purposes.

  ‘Yeah, it’s weird how the feel and smell of a storm is different out here. It must be all the dirt and trees that make it so incredible,’ said Lara. She unrolled the long sleeves on her checked shirt and wrapped her arms around her waist. ‘I wish you didn’t have to go home again tomorrow. I hate it when you leave. Couldn’t you move here with me? I sure could use some girl company.’

  Mel smiled and Lara saw the longing. ‘Oh, Lara, I would love that. You and me here in the big outback together? What a dream.’ Mel cracked a piece off a block of chocolate and slipped it into her mouth. ‘You know, it’s not the same since you left. I’m seriously thinking of changing my life around.’ Mel sighed as she tucked her auburn hair back behind her ear.

  Lara didn’t want to say it but she thought Mel was looking unwell. Her eyes were drawn, and even her trademark happy persona had stayed hidden away until Lara had finally coaxed it out by taking her yabby-catching.

  ‘Well, if you ever want to start up a practice out here, I’d be behind you a hundred per cent and do whatever I could to help, you know that. The nearest vet is two hours away. You’d have this whole district to yourself. It could really work, Mel.’ Lara wrapped her arm around Mel’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

  ‘Thanks, Lara. It means a lot. I just don’t know if I could leave Justin and Dad. I feel so responsible for them.’

  ‘You’ve got to live your own life, Mel. They’re adults. They’ll survive. Cut the apron strings, woman.’

  ‘Gee, when did you get all grown-up and philosophical?’

  She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. All I can say is that if you’re not happy, you’ve gotta do something about it yourself. Make the change. Live the dream. Whatever it takes.’ She gazed up at the massive sky, darkening with the onset of rain. ‘Even with everything going on at the moment, I’m still happy out here. It’s magical.’

  Mel shook her head. ‘You know, I can’t believe Jack and Noah would do that.’ She caught Lara’s glare and ignored it. ‘I mean, he was so lovely to talk to at the lake. I just find it hard to think they could stoop so low. And Noah …’

  ‘Yeah, well, it was all there on the paper.’

  ‘Hmm. So, still no word from Noah?’

  ‘Nope, not even from Mandy. And I don’t want to call her, as she said she’d call me. I’m trying to keep my nose out of it, you know? He’s all I’ve got, but he’s going to be a husband and Mandy is his family now.’

  ‘Sweetie, so are you. He’s your brother … You are allowed to know what’s happening in his life. I’d bloody make it my business,’ Mel said, laughing. ‘Maybe just send Mandy a text and test the water. Know what I mean?’

  ‘Maybe you’re right. At least she’d know I was thinking of her.’

  ‘That’s my girl.’

  ‘And you know what else is bugging me? This bloody drug crop! I haven’t heard diddly squat about it. It’s taking them bloody weeks. Surely it can’t be that hard to catch someone.’

  Mel shrugged. ‘Maybe they had to wait for them to come from the city or something? Or they could be trying to see how many leads they can get. You know, catch all the bad guys!’

  ‘Christ, Mel, I think you’ve watched too many of those cop shows.’ Lara grinned.

  ‘I wouldn’t stress. It’s not your problem any more. But what I really want to know is about Jack,’ Mel said, treading carefully. ‘What are you gonna do about him? You can’t give up on him. Not after that amazing sex.’

  Lara laughed. ‘Yeah, well, I just don’t know what to think. I’m really so confused. One minute he’s pissing me off, the next I can’t wait to rip his shirt off, and then I find the agreement …’ It seemed like such a low act, but still Lara couldn’t help thinking about him, missing him. Even after all this. What was wrong with her? There he was, constantly in her thoughts. She’d analysed everything about that night they’d been together, the things they’d talked about. She was sure what she’d seen in him was deep and wonderful. How could she have been so wrong?

  A chill spread through Lara and her skin broke out in goose-bumps as thunder rumbled over the vast land. This was the opening rain they’d been waiting for! Hopefully they’d get a good inch or more and could begin seeding straightaway. Lara watched as lightning arced through the black clouds like a spotlight in the dark, and as if on cue the raindrops began to fall. They brought with them a smell so wonderful that she had to close her eyes.

  To think that only months ago she’d been in a different life, her job all she had to live for, a relationship doomed to fail … But here, now, she felt that magic she remembered from her childhood. She felt close to heaven and close to her parents. She reached down and scratched Dippa’s head, running her fingers through his fur. Mel patted Gretel’s tiny head. The lamb’s skin was wrinkled under her short, white wool, and her large eyes were sort of eerie; the black centres weren’t defined like human pupils were. But she was still cute, even with her big hoofs and wiggly tail.

  The rain fell faster, causing water to run over the dry ground as the earth struggled to soak it up. Lara felt alive and all her senses tingled as if electricity was running through her from the storm. She smiled, marvelling at Mother Nature, and felt like a very small part in the universe. She couldn’t help the grin that kept growing. Tomorrow she would start seeding her first crop, and that would make her a real farmer. After that, no one would ever say again that she couldn’t make it.

  As a storm raged at the start of the next week, Jack and Noah sat by the fire in the lounge watching the rain pour down outside. Amanda’s parents had been told.
Noah’s gambling had to be out in the open so all of them could watch out for him. It was no good for Amanda to hide all the money if Noah could start pinching it from her parents. Neither she nor Jack could imagine Noah getting to that stage, but they had to take precautions.

  Noah was less angry and was letting Jack be his mate again. He’d been asking him about Lara, how she’d been coping.

  ‘She’s been amazing, Noah. I think she was born to work the land. She’s got more drive than you have.’ Jack chuckled.

  ‘I’m glad she’s doing all right.’

  Jack told Noah about the fire, but left out what had happened afterwards. Just thinking of it had his heart racing. He could remember the feel of her hair through his hands and the way it smelled: sweet like apples but edged with smoke from the fire. He cleared his throat and tried to push her image from his mind. ‘But she’s pissed at us.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Do you remember asking the lawyers to do up the agreement when I was first going to take on Erindale?’

  Noah’s eyes widened. ‘Oh, no. It didn’t.’

  ‘Yep, it rocked up in the mail. She thought we’d gone behind her back and done a deal.’

  ‘Crap, did you set her straight?’

  Jack moved in the old floral chair. ‘I tried to, and then she dropped your bombshell on me.’ Nothing else had seemed important. He felt like he deserved her hatred, that it was his payback for how he’d treated her. Karma for not knowing about Noah. He didn’t deserve someone like Lara.

  ‘I better call her then, or else there could be fireworks at the wedding,’ said Noah, pulling himself out of the chair.

  Jack thought he’d gone to call Lara, but he came back with what looked like a pair of socks.

  ‘What? You want me to do your washing? I’m not your friggin’ house maid!’ he said, rolling his eyes.

  Noah chucked the bundle in his lap and Jack saw the yellow fifties sticking out the end. He looked up at Noah.