The Road Home

by Palmer, Fiona

  ‘Jesus, Jack. Why didn’t you tell your parents?’ Lara said, horrified.

  ‘Oh, I rang Dad when I was finally able to get to the phone. That bastard had it locked away. But Dad, well, he thought I was just overreacting, like I had over the farm. He told me to toughen up and do my job. He didn’t believe me and I guess to me that was the biggest betrayal of all.’ He took another long drink from his beer.

  Lara felt the sadness of it engulf her. ‘So what happened then?’

  ‘He broke my leg towards the end, after a sheep had died and he blamed me for it. He was slipping up, as usually I’d just be bruised by the back end of the shovel or a lump of wood. But that time he went too far,’ Jack said, his voice thick with emotion. ‘The bastard tried to get me to walk and when I couldn’t, he dropped me at the hospital, spinning some yarn to the doctors about me falling off the bike. He threatened me not to tell or else I’d never be paid. But the look in his eye spoke of much more punishment. So once I could leave the hospital I caught the first flight over to WA. I had a mate from school who came over too and I ran around with him for a while, chasing work. Eventually I ended up here and you know the rest.’

  ‘Gee, Jack, that’s some story to hold on to. And you never called your dad again?’

  Jack scratched at the short stubble on his jaw. ‘Nope. I held the phone a few times, dialled the number, but I could never go through with it. I haven’t been able to get past it.’

  Bec’s words came back to Lara. No wonder she hadn’t wanted to tell her. It was Jack’s pain to share.

  They sat in silence. Lara was lost for words, her mind too busy swimming with the thought of an eighteen-year-old, fresh out of school, losing the thing he wanted most and then putting up with such abuse, only to run off to Australia to hide.

  Lara thought it was time to lighten the mood. ‘God, I still can’t believe that fire today. That is something I’ll never forget.’

  ‘Me either,’ Jack groaned, relief about the change of subject evident in his voice.

  Lara swung her legs back and forth under the tray of the ute as the last of the adrenaline was taken over by a happy, warm buzz from the beer.

  ‘Do you feel like you belong here?’ she asked. ‘Or is your heart still in New Zealand, back on the farm? I can’t imagine what it’d be like moving to another country.’

  Jack shrugged. ‘I had no choice,’ he said gruffly in that all-too-familiar way. He caught her stare and held it. It was filled with emotion, torment and an obvious internal struggle. He dropped his eyes to her lips, cleared his throat and ripped his eyes away.

  ‘What was it like?’ she asked.

  ‘The farm? It was just beautiful, Lara. I woke up in the mornings dying to get outside, to be a part of it. It was my home, and my passion. I wanted to work the farm so bad, assumed I’d be there alongside Dad and Matthew. But the farm just wasn’t big enough for all of us. Matthew was the oldest, and seeing as though he had been working it for six years longer than me, he got to stay. It was how it was.’ He shrugged. ‘Much like Noah getting Erindale.’

  ‘Yeah, except I knew that’s how it was going to go down. Didn’t your dad ever warn you, guide you towards something else?’

  ‘Ha. You know, now I think back I do recall him trying to get me to do a trade, but I was never interested, never thought of anything else for a minute.’ Jack scoffed. ‘I was too stubborn to realise that Dad was probably trying to let me know then.’

  Lara let a laugh escape, then covered her mouth. ‘Sorry, Jack, but you are stubborn, as am I.’ She jumped off the tray, putting space between them. Pointing a finger at him, she continued. ‘But you know, I could see through your gruff exterior, Jack Morgan. I could see that underneath, you really are a nice, caring bloke.’

  Jack laughed her off. ‘I think you’ve had more than your quota of beer.’ He reached out to try to take it off her. She smacked her hand down on his leg.

  ‘No, I’m serious. I think I’ve worked you out, Jack. Deep down you really do care. You care for Noah, you’ve helped me out when I’ve needed it, against your will, and you don’t volunteer for the ambos or firies if you don’t care. And I think I know why you’ve been avoiding me.’

  Jack jumped down from the tray. ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever,’ he said, fetching another two beers from the fridge.

  Lara turned on the radio in Jack’s ute, and cranked up ‘Jack and Diane’ before joining him back up on the tray. The sun was no longer up, but the full moon was casting enough light for them to see.

  ‘So, when did you get this done?’ Lara traced the pattern of ink on Jack’s arm. She felt his muscles tense beneath her touch.

  ‘A year after I left.’ His voice was strained.

  ‘I have one too.’

  ‘Really?’

  Lara threw her head back and laughed. ‘Don’t sound so surprised, Jack.’

  ‘Well, come on. Can I see it, or is it too risqué?’ His eyes swam with intensity.

  Lara put her beer down and leant back on the tray. She hooked a finger in the top of her shorts and pulled them down on the left side, under her hip bone.

  Jack leant over, his finger poised to touch the tattoo. She saw his hand shake and he quickly drew it back. ‘Chinese symbols? What do they mean?’

  ‘This is for Eternity and this one is Family,’ she said, touching each small tattoo.

  Jack’s eyes found hers. ‘Which you got around seven years ago, right?’ he asked tenderly.

  Lara tilted her head slightly and smiled. She wondered when it was that she and Jack had ended up on the same level. At what stage had he been able to read her as well as she could read him? He looked so darn hot that she just wanted to touch him. The desire to touch him, to kiss him, had never been like this … or had it?

  Jack took a long sip. His head rested back and his Adam’s apple bounced up and down with each swallow. She wondered whether the skin on his neck, if she kissed it, would taste smoky.

  ‘You drink like a camel. There’s no way I can keep up with you,’ she stuttered to hide her wayward thoughts.

  ‘It’s thirsty work putting out fires in this heat.’

  Lara launched herself off the back of the tray, leaving her beer behind, as a new song started up on the radio. ‘Oh my God, I love this old song.’ She began singing the words to Men at Work’s ‘Down Under’.

  Jack laughed as she danced around in the dirt, the moonlight picking up the dust particles like shimmering glitter. ‘I don’t think that they’re the right words,’ he said teasingly. ‘Were you even born when this was released?’

  ‘Just. You’re not that much older than me, you know.’ She wiggled her shoulders, bopped her head around, and kicked up more dust with her boots. ‘You gonna come join me?’ She sidled up to Jack and wiggled in front of him.

  He laughed and put down his beer on the tray. ‘You’re making a big enough fool for the both of us.’

  Lara couldn’t read his eyes in the semi-darkness but the moon was reflecting off them and she could see the spark. She shuffled closer, the tiny hairs on her skin pricking up like a porcupine. Everything about Jack was luring her to him. How could she resist him, the hero of the day who on more than one occasion had been her saviour and protector? Her nerve endings danced with the yearning to kiss him, to touch his thick, tempting lips. She edged closer.

  ‘Lara,’ he warned in a deep, gravely voice, but the glint in his eyes spoke his desire.

  It only spurred her closer. ‘Jack,’ she whispered, then closed the gap to kiss him. His lips were warm and tender, more than she’d imagined. Her hand snaked up his singlet, and she revelled in his hard chest. Lara let her tongue flit across his lips, tasting beer and smoke. Firecrackers went off inside her head when she heard Jack moan. He opened his mouth, letting her in. If she’d known that kissing him would be this amazing, she’d have kissed him long ago.

  She melted against him and with sheer delight felt Jack’s hands go to her waist, pulling her closer. She moved her
other hand to his neck, where she threaded her fingers into his thick hair, drawing him closer still. She felt like she was flying as her belly tingled from the delicious taste of Jack.

  ‘Lara,’ Jack murmured against her lips. She felt him lose whatever resistance he’d had as he claimed her mouth, taking control and devouring her like he’d been starved. He found the top of her ponytail and let her hair out, as if he’d been wanting to do it forever. As he wove his fingers through her locks, Lara could feel his desire pressing even more firmly against her. He wanted her; there was no denying it. Her lips tingled and would be sore later from his stubble and the brutal hunger of their kisses. She throbbed with need and rubbed against him, realising just how long she’d been dying to taste him, to touch him. Her hands found their way down to the top of his shorts and plunged under the band to feel his burning erection. Jack shuddered and Lara knew they’d both die if something wasn’t done about their desire now. She unbuttoned her own shorts, let them drop to the ground and stepped out of them.

  Jack understood her need. With strong hands, he lifted her up and placed her on the ute tray before sliding her in close. His breath was rapid against her skin, as he tasted every inch of her. Lara felt she’d explode if she couldn’t have him now. With trembling hands, she pulled down his shorts, releasing him. Jack trailed his fingers along her leg, slipped them under her lacy G-string and rubbed her. She bucked eagerly at each brush.

  ‘Jack,’ she whimpered, unable to wait any more. He needed no more urging. He brushed the lace aside and buried himself deep inside her.

  Lara found his mouth again as her legs tightened around him, pulling him deeper. Jack growled in painful ecstasy. She clung to him, lost in her high as the climax built between them. Her hands dug into his backside, drawing him in with each movement. Her breath was gasping, and she was no longer able to hold her lips against Jack’s. He pushed forward one more time and they both cried out into the moonlit night.

  29

  LARA woke alone in her room and found her head buzzing, but it wasn’t from last night’s beer. It was from the memory of being with Jack. And the shock of realising just how much she liked him. When had simple attraction turned into something more?

  As far as perfect nights went, last night had been right up there. It was as if Jack had grown another dimension by letting down his guard. He’d opened up, and oh, how she liked what she saw. She wanted to see him again, just to check that she hadn’t dreamt it, that what she’d experienced was real. Would he want to see her again too? Or would he go back to being shut off and distant … unreachable? Her fingers twitched with an eagerness to press the numbers for his mobile. But she couldn’t, not yet. She wasn’t sure what all this meant, or what it would mean to him.

  Reluctantly, she pulled herself out of bed and away from her visions of last night. She cooked up a hearty breakfast and was just sitting down to eat when the phone rang.

  ‘Good morning. Lara speaking.’

  ‘Well, hello to you too, sis. You sure are chipper this morning,’ said Amanda.

  ‘Yeah, you could say that. I haven’t burnt the place down yet. So, what’s up at your end of the world?’ How’s Noah? is what she really wanted to ask. ‘Did Noah tell you that we talked a little at the bucks’ night?’

  ‘Sort of. Told me he’d seen you and all was good again. I didn’t want to pry and rock the boat any more.’ Amanda sighed. ‘He’s off feeding the cattle and weighing lambs with Dad, while I organise the finer details of the wedding.’

  ‘I know. Less than a month. Can you believe it?’

  Amanda groaned. ‘Really, there’s not much left to do. I’m just ringing up to see if the money cleared okay.’

  ‘Money? What money?’

  ‘Noah said he’d transferred the fifty grand a few days ago, to pay you back for what was missing.’

  Lara felt like the walls were closing in on her. ‘Into the working account?’

  ‘Yeah, that’s what he said.’ Mandy’s voice had a worried edge.

  ‘Nothing has come through yet, and I was online early yesterday. If he did it a few days ago, it should be there by now.’

  ‘Are you sure? Do you think he could have got the account details wrong or something? Please don’t tell me we have to guess the worst!’

  ‘Shit, I don’t know, Mandy. We can’t go accusing him without proof. He’ll go ballistic. What do we do?’ Her brain whirled. ‘What if you call the bank and see if they can tell you where it was transferred to? It’s a joint account, isn’t it?’ Lara asked.

  ‘Yes, it is. Great idea. I’ll call them right now. I have a bit of time before Noah’s due back. I’ll call you when I know.’

  ‘Thanks, Mandy. I’m sure it’ll just be an error.’

  ‘Yeah. Talk soon.’

  Lara leant back in her chair. She wanted to be optimistic but she had a sick feeling churning in her stomach. She gave the rest of her breakfast to the dogs and wandered through the house doing half-jobs. She was putting the dishes away, a few in the wrong spots, when the phone rang. She just about pounced on it.

  ‘Hello,’ she said breathlessly.

  ‘Oh, Lara … do you think he’s still gambling? They said … they said he didn’t transfer that money at all. It’s been withdrawn. Withdrawn! He lied to me.’ Amanda was sobbing into the phone. ‘See, if he has the money, then he can spend it without leaving a trace. Lara, he’s been planning a trip to Perth for next week to pick up the suits but I bet he’s off to the casino. What if he’s placing bets today?’ she said, horrified.

  Lara’s head was spinning. ‘Don’t worry. Your dad’s with him, you said. Surely he can’t get up to much. But we have to do something.’ Lara stopped to take a deep breath. ‘I know – ring up a helpline. Maybe they can offer assistance on the best way to go about this. He’s not going to take kindly to us ganging up on him.’ Lara sat down before her legs crumbled, wondering just how on earth Noah could have got to this point. She couldn’t understand it at all.

  Amanda was fighting back her tears on the other end of the line.

  ‘Look, do you want me to come down there and help you confront him, or just to help?’

  Amanda took a deep, steadying breath. ‘No. He’s going to be my husband. We can sort this out together. I’m a tough girl, too, you know. I can handle whatever he dishes out. If it gets bad, I promise I’ll give you a call.’

  Lara sighed. She probably would have acted the same way herself. ‘Okay, but just remember you’re not alone, and you don’t have to do this by yourself. I’m here, in any way you need.’

  ‘Thanks. I’d better go. I’ll talk to you later.’

  ‘Take care, Mandy.’

  With another deep sigh, Lara looked at the clock. Time to go and get the mail and the milk. She hoped she’d be able to concentrate on a task as simple as that.

  Down at the end of the driveway, Lara opened the old fridge and pulled out the milk and the mail. She put the milk on the passenger seat and sorted through the envelopes: mostly bills, plus one yellow A4 envelope from Smithe and Tanner Legal. She opened it, assuming it would be related to the farm.

  The With Compliments slip said ‘As requested’. She flicked through the pages, and saw Noah’s name and Jack Morgan’s name. She kept reading, trying to absorb what she’d stumbled upon. In her hands was an agreement for Jack to run Erindale, and to slowly pay Noah for it. Was Noah so pissed off at her that he’d do this? He’d take Erindale from her and give it to Jack? Surely not. He couldn’t do that. He’d promised it to her – hadn’t he? Would he at least give her the money back from the sale of the Perth house?

  Is this why Jack had been so mad with her since the beginning? He’d wanted Erindale for himself? She thought back to his snide comments and it all began to make sense. He couldn’t have his farm in New Zealand so he was going to take hers? Over her dead body! She would never allow this to go through. Jack. That son of a bitch. Just wait till she saw him.

  She revved up the ute, chan
ged into gear and planted her foot, spinning the vehicle around in the driveway. Gravel sprayed out behind her as the back tray clipped the strainer post on the side fence. She glanced back to see it still standing and let out her breath. She’d never felt so wild and furious. All this going on, right under her nose.

  Jack drove into Erindale with a stupid grin on his face. He couldn’t help it. All morning he’d felt like the fox that had eaten the whole chook pen full of hens. God only knows what Noah would say if he knew Jack had got together with Lara. He’d probably castrate him! He’d caught himself humming this morning. Humming! He’d finally let go of his fear of getting hurt. The Lara he knew was not going back to the city. He’d been delighted to receive her text asking to see him. He was dying to see her again, to make sure that what had happened was real, see if he still felt it. He scratched his chin and wished he’d shaved this morning. Would this meeting lead to more? Now he was all jittery with nerves.

  ‘G’day, Dippa. Hey, Roy,’ he said to the dogs as they met him at the ute. After a quick pat, he started to bound off towards the gate and saw Lara coming the other way. He felt himself stir just at the sight of her: long legs clad in jeans, a red singlet like a second skin, bright blue eyes …

  But with just one look at the fury on her face he had all the wind knocked out of his chest.

  ‘What the hell is this, Jack?’ she yelled, waving a yellow envelope and papers at him.

  Not exactly the greeting he’d envisaged. ‘What —’

  She barely stopped for a breath. ‘I don’t know what you thought last night was, but it was cruel to use me like that.’

  ‘I didn’t … What? I’m confused.’

  ‘Oh, you’re sure you don’t have any clue what I’m on about?’ Her eyes drilled him like blue steel rods. Hatred. Hurt. Fear. It was all there, swirling like a deadly rip. She shoved the papers at him. Quickly he turned them up the right way.