Chasing Him

by Kennedy Fox

  “It was easier just to live with you. But things change. I’m gettin’ real sick of my brothers knocking up chicks and basically being kicked out each time,” he admits with a chuckle, and I roll my eyes. I didn’t mind Jackson living with me—for the most part—but the Friday night whiskey parties and the different girl each week got annoying quick.

  “I’m not kicking you out,” I remind him.

  “I know, just givin’ you a hard time.”

  A few years ago, he and Alex lived together, but then River moved in when she found out she was pregnant, so Jackson moved in with me. I almost feel guilty that he has to move again, but I think he wants to because a baby means no more parties or late nights being loud. I actually might miss him being around. Though he’s a pain in my ass most of the time, he’s still my twin brother, and my life wouldn’t be the same without him in it.

  “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, how long until it’s ready?” I’m successfully able to bring the conversation back. If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s to avoid traveling down conversation rabbit trails with Jackson.

  “I’ve hired the contractors that built Evan and Emily’s house, and they said a few months to finish it, so I’m gonna stay at the ranch hand living quarters until then. If I don’t get any sleep, I might actually start looking as shitty as you do.” He lets out a chuckle.

  “Are you sure?” I ask, not wanting to force him to leave. It’s understandable, and I’m sure if the roles were reversed, I’d do the same. Maize wakes up a minimum of three times during the night, and if hearing Jackson and his ladies through the walls are any indication, he can hear Maize’s screams.

  “Yeah. It’s time. Plus, it’s hard to bring girls back to the house knowing there’s a baby trying to sleep. I’m an asshole, but I’m not that much of an asshole.”

  “If you need anything, let me know,” I tell him.

  He gives me a smile before walking out. “Same, brother.”

  After double-checking reservations for the upcoming week, I tell Nicole I’m heading home as the kitchen staff prepares dinner. Dishes clink and clank, and I step in and tell everyone hello. It’s two of Mama’s church friends and an older gentleman, but they’re here each day cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for our guests.

  “How’s the baby doin’, John?” Mrs. Tellie asks.

  “She’s doin’ real good. Goin’ to check on her now,” I tell her with a smile. The cool air brushes across my face as I step outside, and I place my hands in my pocket. The winter is much colder than usual, which I can’t complain about too much, considering I work inside a majority of the time, but it makes me think about my dad and brothers who are out in this weather. Being as quiet as I can, I walk into the house and find Maize sleeping on Mila’s chest, who is also asleep.

  When the door clicks shut, her eyes flutter open. She looks at me with a sleepy gaze. “Sorry,” she whispers.

  “Already sleeping on the job?” I smirk, but she takes me seriously.

  “I-uh.”

  “No, it’s fine. Everything go okay?” I ask. She has no idea how tempted I’ve been all day to come home and check.

  “Perfect, actually. She’s such an easy baby. We’ve had a really good day. We played peek-a-boo, did a few minutes of tummy time—which she hates, by the way—then she napped for a few hours. After she woke up, she ate and had a poop explosion, so I gave her a quick bath in the sink. Then she ate again an hour ago, and then we both fell asleep,” Mila whispers with a smile, before repositioning her body. Sounds like everything did go well, which makes me happy.

  I take Maize from her arms. “Hey, baby girl,” I whisper, kissing her forehead. She looks up at me with admiration, and it’s times like this that affect me emotionally. Maize attached to me from the moment we met. Even when I was filled with uncertainty, one thing I did know was I wanted to give her everything that life had to offer.

  Mila sits up straighter on the couch and watches me before she stands and stretches. “What time should I be here tomorrow?”

  “Seven?” I ask.

  “Sure. See ya then.” She grabs her phone from the table and tucks it into her pocket, then slips her boots on her feet.

  “Thanks, Mila,” I finally say. “Thanks for your help. It’s really appreciated.”

  All she does is smile as she heads to the door.

  It’s been three days since Mila started working for me, and so far, she’s been a complete blessing. I know Maize’s in safe keeping, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted, though I can’t say I’m getting any more sleep than before.

  After lunch, I fall asleep again, and this time, I’m woken up by a guest bitching about a toilet issue. Usually, I’m friendly and have a smile plastered on my face, but honestly, I’m pissed. Mama caught wind of me snapping at someone and practically threatened to fire me, which I know would never happen, but it was a wake-up call that I need more sleep at night, and that’s not going to happen until Maize’s sleeping in longer stretches. Any noise I hear, I’m wide-awake, and then I can barely fall back to sleep. By the time I do, it’s time to get up for work. I feel as if I could sleep for a week straight.

  After falling asleep for the third time today, I force myself to stand the rest of my shift. I’ve had so many ridiculous things happen that I swear it’s Friday the thirteenth. By the time I make it home, I’m so fucking exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open. When I walk in, I see Jackson flirting with Mila, and it annoys the fuck out of me.

  “Jackson, kitchen,” I bark when Mila walks into the room to check on Maize.

  “What?” He looks at me slyly.

  Leaning against the counter, I cross my arms over my chest and give it to him straight. “Listen. There’s a few rules you need to adhere to.”

  He sarcastically nods his head, which pisses me off further.

  “Don’t look at my nanny like that ever again.”

  “Like what?” he asks.

  I narrow my eyes because he knows damn well what I’m talking about. “I don’t need you scaring her away and leaving me without help. So don’t hit on my nanny. Don’t flirt with her, ask her out, and don’t you dare fuck my nanny.”

  He arches a brow and crosses his arms as if to ask if I’m done—as if to challenge me on everything I just listed.

  “Basically, stay away from my nanny. Got it?”

  Jackson bursts out into laughter. He’s doubled over, trying to catch his breath, but I’m as serious as a heart attack, ready to punch him in the chest and threaten his life if he breaks my rules.

  “Why? Are you fucking her?” he asks, laughing with amusement. “God knows you’re worse than I am.”

  “No. Hell no. Those rules are for everyone, and if you break them, I’ll break your fucking neck.”

  He leans over and whispers loud enough for just me to hear. “But you want to.”

  “Shut the hell up.” I shove him, and he takes a few steps back, still laughing, then returns to packing up his room. After a few seconds, Mila enters the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. She’s already made herself at home, which is perfectly fine. I want her to feel comfortable here.

  “John.” She looks me up and down, swallowing tightly. “I can tell you’re exhausted. You have bags under your eyes,” she says. I finally make eye contact with her, not wanting to admit how damn tired I am even though it’s obvious at this point. “And if you don’t mind me sayin’, a tad grouchy.”

  “I’m just not sleeping well,” I admit.

  “I can stay around the clock if you need me to. I have nothing going on, and your mama was right; you need help,” she tells me.

  I ignore the last part, but it’s true. I need all the help I can get.

  “I’ll be fine.” I grunt, not wanting to admit that I can’t handle this on my own. Bailey did it on her own all through her pregnancy and the first nine weeks of Maize’s life, so I should be able to suck it up.

  “Are you going to be stubborn about this?” She c
rosses her arms over her chest. I’ve only known her for a few days, but she’s already figured me out in that short amount of time. And shit, she’s bossy too.

  “Probably,” I confess, grabbing a beer from the fridge. “How are you going to watch Maize during the day and get up with her at night? You’ll be a zombie like me.”

  “Well, it’ll basically be like the last four years of my life when I went to school all day, worked in the evenings, and then studied half the night away. It’s something I’m used to if that helps to know. Plus, Maize’s much cuter to be woken up by than my textbooks.” She grins as if she’s solidifying her response. “It can be a trial run if that makes you feel better, but if you don’t get some rest, you’ll get sick, and that’s the last thing Maize needs.” She takes my beer and replaces it with her bottle of water instead. I give her a look, but she ignores it completely. “You’re going to burn out.”

  Jackson walks back in the room and sees us in close proximity. He lifts his eyebrows at me, then winks at Mila before walking out the door.

  “I can’t believe he’s your brother.” She chuckles. “Your personalities are so different.”

  “He’s off-limits,” I warn her, my tone coming out much harsher than I mean to.

  She snorts. “Don’t have to worry about that. I’m not attracted to him at all,” she says, but the ghost of a smile plays on her lips.

  “Pretty sure I should be offended by that,” I mumble, opening the fridge and grabbing myself another beer.

  She shakes her head at my stubbornness. “I’m going to pack an overnight bag. Give me an hour, and I’ll be back. Gotta tell Gigi what’s going on, too, so she doesn’t worry.”

  “I didn’t agree to anything yet,” I say as she follows me down the hall and to the living room where I take a seat on the couch with my beer in hand.

  “You don’t have to. Your mama already did.”

  Chapter Nine

  MILA

  Jackson Bishop is like that fun older brother I never had. Sure, I have an older brother, but he’s all business and no play. It feels good to be around someone who’s so carefree, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s the spitting image of John, who I haven’t stopped fantasizing about since I saw him in that towel with water dripping down his chest. Without any kind of warning, I can tell what kind of guy Jackson is—heartbreaker number one, which means nothing but trouble. And I’ve had enough trouble with guys to last me a lifetime.

  As soon as John walked in and saw us laughing and Jackson flirting, something in the room shifted. Just to get away from John’s mood, I go and check on the baby. As I’m standing in his bedroom, where Maize’s peacefully sleeping, I overhear their conversation. My heart races as John gives him the “official nanny rules,” but I have a feeling no one tells Jackson what to do, not even the man who wears the same face.

  “Why? Are you fucking her?” Jackson asks with a laugh. “God knows you’re worse than I am.”

  My heart stammers against my chest, and I feel the heat hit my cheeks. Does that mean what I think it means? I’ve only been here a few days, and I’m already a forbidden cliché.

  “What? No? Those rules are for everyone, and if you break them, I’ll break your fucking neck,” John tells him matter-of-factly, and by the tone in his voice, I wouldn’t want to cross him. I’m off-limits, that much is known, and somehow it feels just as bad as being friend zoned for all those years. Not that I want anything to happen, but it sucks to always be outside of everyone’s range. Half of me wants to barge out there and explain that it’s not like that at all, but they become quiet, and I hear shuffling around and wonder what else was said. I take a deep breath, trying to get ahold of myself and walk out there.

  Jackson is in his room packing his belongings, and John is leaned back against the counter in the kitchen. He looks exhausted from head to toe, just as his mama told me he would be. This morning, while he was at work, she called me and asked me if I’d consider pulling a few twenty-four-hour shifts. She explained how John was losing his patience at work and falling asleep on the job. As I study his face, I realize how right she is, and my heart kind of hurts for him. He’s doing the best he can as a single dad, but it’s still not enough.

  After I tell him how it’s going to be and walk outside, I suck in a deep breath. On the way to the car, I pull out my phone and text Kat.

  Mila: Girl. These Bishop boys…

  * * *

  Kat: Told you. They’re all trouble. Even the taken ones.

  * * *

  Mila: Thankfully, I’ve only met Jackson.

  * * *

  Kat: And he’s the worst of them all.

  I let out a laugh. Poor Jackson has gotten a bad rap. Even Gigi warned me about him.

  Mila: He and John were arguing about me today, and he told Jackson to basically back off. Then Jackson asked him why, and if he was fucking me.

  The bug-eyed emoji she sends says it all.

  Mila: I know. And I’m already a nervous wreck around John as it is.

  * * *

  Kat: Because you like him.

  * * *

  Mila: No. I just think he’s hot as fuck. There’s a difference.

  * * *

  Kat: And what’s the difference?

  I let out a laugh and start the car.

  Mila: The difference is he’s my boss, and my job is to take care of his baby. Not him!

  She sends me an eye-roll emoji before changing the subject.

  Kat: What you doin’ tonight? Want me to come over?

  * * *

  Mila: I’m staying the night at John’s house to try to help get Maize on a schedule so he can get some sleep. He’s so tired he can barely function.

  * * *

  Kat: And this is how it all starts.

  She sends a GIF of two dogs humping. I burst out laughing, shaking my head as I turn on the heat. My heart hammers in my chest as I think about John in a towel, water dripping down his perfect torso all the way to his…

  Fuck. I shake the dirty thoughts from my mind and remind myself that I’m not here to date or sleep with anyone. I got out of Georgia to recover my shattered heart, not find another reason to have it split in two.

  Mila: OMG Stop it! Maybe YOU need to get laid. Plus, I’d never sleep with my boss. I have morals, ya know?

  * * *

  Kat: Good thing you’re being paid by his mother then.

  Well, she’s not wrong, but I don’t admit that to her.

  Mila: I’m off-limits, remember?

  * * *

  Kat: Forbidden love is the best kind there is! ;)

  * * *

  Mila: You’re ridiculous.

  * * *

  Kat: Nah! Just truthful. Mama Bishop is the boss in that family. Everyone knows it. You’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.

  I laugh and totally believe her.

  Mila: I’m just nervous, you know. If this becomes long-term, it’ll be the first time I haven’t lived at home. I really want to help him get the baby on a schedule because once she sleeps soundly through the night, he won’t need me around the clock. I’ve made it my mission, plus it’s a challenge, and I want to keep my baby whisperer title.

  My honesty makes me laugh.

  Kat: You’ll do fine. You’re a professional and still have the reigning title of the baby whisperer. Just take it one day at a time.

  I smile at her reassurance, something I need desperately right now as I second-guess everything. Am I really moving in to be a live-in nanny? Two months ago, I would’ve never believed this was my life, but even after a handful of days, I’ve already fallen in love with little Maize Bishop. I’m doing this for her too.

  Kat sends an eggplant emoji for good measure, and I let out a big laugh.

  Mila: LOL! I’m heading to Gigi’s. I’ll text you when I get there.

  I lock my phone and back out of the driveway and head back to my grandparents’ house. Gigi already knows about the arrangement I’m sure because she and Mrs. Bisho
p are great friends. If they didn’t talk about it, I’d be more surprised at this point. By the time I arrive, Gigi has a bag of cookies waiting for me.

  “Do you know everything?” I ask with a grin.

  “Grandmas and mamas know it all,” she reminds me—something she used to say to Kat and me when we were younger.

  “Thanks, Gigi,” I tell her, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  “Anytime, honey. If you need anything or if that Bishop boy is being a pain in the ass, you let me know, and I’ll have his mama take care of it.”

  The fact Gigi expects me to tattle on John like we’re back on a playground or something makes me chuckle to myself, but I know she’s just protective of me. “He’s been a perfect gentleman,” I reassure her before walking upstairs and packing my suitcase for a few days. I don’t know how long these clothes will last me, but I’m sure I’ll be visiting my grandparents soon.

  Once I’m packed, I text Kat and tell her I’m heading back to John’s house.

  Kat: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Actually, do everything I would do. John Bishop is S-E-X on legs!

  * * *

  Mila: I’m deleting this whole thread. It could be used as evidence in your murder later.