Love Hate Relationship (a Colors novel)

by Jessica Prince

  “So…” I started, “that’s your family?”

  “Yep.”

  The one-word answers were killing me. I wanted her to yell at me, scream and cuss and rant—whatever she needed to do to get it all out. I just needed to hear her voice and not the monosyllabic bullshit I was getting. With a sigh, I ran a hand through my disheveled hair. “Navie—”

  “Why’d you do it?” she asked, cutting me off and momentarily confusing me.

  “Why did I do what?”

  Those denim eyes glistened with unshed tears, knocking the wind out of me. “Why did you kiss her?”

  “Oh, baby.” Her tears broke free and each one was like a punch in the gut. I couldn’t stay away from her any longer. I was across the kitchen in a flash, my hands cupping her cheeks, my thumbs trying to brush away her sadness. “I didn’t kiss her, Navie, I swear. She kissed me. She showed up at the apartment after you left to get coffee and pushed her way in, saying she needed to talk. She threw herself at me.”

  “But… y-you were holding her like… just like this,” she stuttered, reaching up and wrapping her hands around my wrists where I held her face in my palms.

  “I was trying to get her off me. She caught me off-guard for a moment, but I never kissed her back. Please, believe me. I would never do that to you.”

  She lowered her head, taking her eyes from me and gave it a shake. “I thought…”

  “Thought what?” I prompted.

  When she spoke again, her voice was so quiet I almost couldn’t hear, but once what she said registered, a part of me wished I hadn’t. “I’ve never been good enough for anyone.”

  “That’s not true,” I ground out, using her hair to tip her head back up so I could see her. “Baby, you can’t believe that—”

  “None of my foster families kept me,” she continued, each word gutting me. “My own mom didn’t want me. The boy who asked me to prom only did it as a prank so he and his friends could make fun of me. I hardly had any friends growing up, and until I met Carson, I never had a family. When I saw you kissing her, I just thought—”

  “That I was just like everyone else,” I finished for her, even though it killed me.

  She nodded on a muffled sob and tried to drop her head again, but I wasn’t having it.

  “Look at me,” I demanded. When her heartbroken gaze finally met mine, I spoke the words I knew were the God’s honest truth. “I’m in love with you.” Her mouth dropped open on a gasp, but I wasn’t finished. “When you ran away from me? That was the worst moment of my life.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. Nothing compared to the pain I felt when I thought I had lost you. Not what happened with Bree, not losing my brother, nothing. It hurt in a way I’m not sure I could survive. I have never, ever loved someone the way I love you. What I felt for Bree isn’t even a shadow of what I feel for you. Do you get that? For the first time in my life, I am completely in love with someone else. I can’t lose you, Navie. I can’t.”

  “You love me?”

  “My life didn’t start until I met you, and it can’t continue if you’re not in it. That’s how much I love you.”

  Her voice broke on a sob, but when she responded with, “I love you, too,” I thought I had to be dreaming.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” she sniffled. “I love you, too. I have for a while, but I was just too terrified that I’d get hurt again to admit it.”

  I pulled her to me for a tight hug, wanting to feel every inch of her against me. I’d never been hungry for someone’s touch the way I was for hers. I held on for dear life, afraid that if I let go, she’d disappear. I could have spent the rest of my life that way, but when she let out a wheeze and a, “Honey. Can’t. Breathe,” I forced myself to loosen my grip.

  “I’ll never hurt you like that, baby. I’m sure there will be countless times in our life together when I’ll piss you off beyond belief, but if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for all the heartache you’ve ever felt.”

  “That’s a really good promise.” She giggled.

  Leaning down toward her upturned face, I pressed my lips against hers. “I thought so, too.”

  “I could have done without the whole pissing me off beyond belief part, but other than that, it was a pretty damn good speech.”

  I pulled back just enough to see her eyes as I chuckled. “You’re seriously criticizing my I love you speech right now?”

  “I’m just saying.” She shrugged with a knowing smirk. “It could have been better. Maybe next time write something out ahead of time.”

  “I flew my ass all the way to Texas, risked life and limb with your trigger-happy brother to profess my love to you, and you’re giving me shit about not writing out a heartfelt declaration beforehand?” Tipping my head to the ceiling, I lamented loudly, “Why me, Lord? Seriously!”

  Navie’s happy laughter pulled my attention back down. “Just got lucky, I guess.”

  “I’m ignoring you right now because I’m just so goddamned happy to see you again. It’s like I can finally fucking breathe.”

  Navie snuggled into me, her arms wrapped around my waist tightly as we stood there, simply living in the moment. “Rowan?” she asked quietly.

  I pressed my lips against her cheek. “Hmm?”

  “You really stink.”

  I planted another kiss against her lips and spoke, “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”

  “What can I say?” she responded with a teasing grin. “You bring out the best in me.”

  “For the love of God, will you stop that?” I smacked Rowan’s hand away from the jar of jam he was reaching for. He had already managed to pilfer two other jars from the table when I wasn’t looking and had devoured them both, eating ten dollars’ worth of potential profit.

  If you had told me a few months back that I would be in a serious, committed relationship with Rowan Locklaine, I would have laughed in your face. If you’d have told me I would eventually be head over heels, crazy in love with the man, I would have suggested you get medical help.

  But there I was, sitting at the farmer’s market in the town I’d grown up in, with him at my side, selling homemade preserves and breads to give Cassidy and Carson a break from work so they could spend time with their new son, Kallum, named after Cassidy’s Uncle Kal.

  For the second time in less than six months, I was back in Texas, only this time, it was for a good reason. And my boyfriend had tagged along happily as opposed to chasing me down and winning me back. Things were going great. Each morning, I woke up wrapped in the arms of the man I loved, even happier than the day before. I had a new nephew that I got to spoil and cuddle for the next few weeks, and I was surrounded by a whole slew of people who loved me unconditionally.

  I wasn’t sure if life could get any better.

  “But it’s so good,” he groaned, licking up the last of the mulberry jam from the jar he stole. “Next time we visit, I’m bringing an empty suitcase with me so I can load it up with this shit. Swear to God, Navie, if you’d learn to make this stuff from Milly or Cassidy, I’d marry you and leave everything to you in my will.”

  My heart fluttered at the thought of marrying this man at the same time I rolled my eyes in mock frustration. “If that’s your idea of a proposal, you’re going to be single for the rest of your life.”

  Resting his elbows on the table in our booth, Rowan reached forward and toyed with the necklace hanging from the stand I’d set out. “You say no when I propose and I’m telling Pepper you’re selling Navie’s Knickknacks for half-price at some rinky-dink market in po-dunk Texas.”

  That was yet another change that had taken place in the past months. When we returned to New York after my ‘temporary bout of insanity’, as he so lovingly referred to it, I didn’t go back to being Rowan’s personal assistant. That position was currently available after the third person Lauren hired quit due to a ‘hostile work environment’.

  Rowan had taken
it upon himself to show my jewelry to Pepper, and after threat of physical violence and possible death if I didn’t agree, I went into business with her, partnering up to sell my handmade creations in her shop. Business had been shockingly good, and I was finally making a career out of something I loved to do. And even though I wouldn’t say it out loud, for fear of overinflating his ego, I had Rowan to thank for it.

  “You tell her I’m selling a few pieces here and I’ll tell Carson you so lovingly referred to his wife’s business as some rinky-dink market in po-dunk Texas.”

  He paled slightly at my threat and I couldn’t help but laugh. Even though things were great between us, saying Carson was warming up to my boyfriend was a stretch. I didn’t think he’d ever stop threatening to shoot him.

  “Oh, Henry, look,” an older woman exclaimed as she leaned in to look at my jewelry, pulling Rowan and I out of our millionth spat of the day. “Aren’t these just beautiful?”

  “That they are, sweetheart,” an older man, who I assumed was Henry, replied as he came to stand next to the woman while she browsed the different bracelets and necklaces I had put out. My head tilted to the side as I watched the man with his wife. There was something so familiar about him, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. An inch or two over six feet tall, salt-and-pepper hair, and a stomach that attested to the fact that he ate well but still tried to keep in shape the best he could at this age. Something in the back of my mind told me I should know this man, I just couldn’t figure out why.

  “How much for this set, dear?” the woman asked, her gaze coming to me as her husband looked around the market, casually people-watching. “Dear?” the woman asked again, a hint of concern wrapped around that one word.

  I felt Rowan’s hand press against the small of my back and gave my head a firm shake as he came to stand next to me. “I’m sorry, it’s uh… twenty-five for the set.”

  As she rifled through her purse, I could only focus on the man beside her.

  “And what a clever name,” she continued, pulling her wallet from her bag. “I’m assuming you’re the Navie from Navie’s Knickknacks?”

  “That’s me,” I replied with a smile at the woman just as the man’s head shot around in my direction. The instant our eyes connected, that wave of familiarity I felt when he walked up came rushing back, crashing into me with so much strength I lost my breath.

  “My Lord,” the man spoke on an inhale as his own kind eyes grew wide.

  “I know you,” I said in a hushed voice. “How do I know you?”

  “Navie?” Rowan asked from my side. “You all right, baby?”

  “I met you when you were just a little girl.” His voice was filled with a combination of sorrow and wonder. “I’m Off—”

  “Officer Michaels,” I gasped as memories of that day bombarded me one after another.

  “Not a day’s passed where I haven’t thought about that scared girl in that apartment,” he choked, emotion growing thick with each word. His wife’s hand flew to her mouth as tears began to stream down her face. He’d told her about me.

  “You remember me?” I asked, feeling a lump forming in my throat.

  “Of course. I could never forget. A little girl named Navie because of the color of her eyes …” He paused to clear his throat before being able to continue. I watched in awe as his wife’s hands came around his arm in silent support. “Did… everything work out for you? Do you have a good life?”

  In the blink of an eye, I was around the table, both my hands wrapped around his. “I have a great life,” I replied vehemently. Because it was true. Even with all the hardships, all the pain and disappointment, I couldn’t look back with any regrets because it led me to where I was right then. I had love. I had family. I had everything a person could ever hope for.

  Officer Michaels’ eyes closed tightly and I watched one lone tear slip free. When he opened them again and looked back at me, I saw that my answer had lifted a weight he’d been carrying for nearly twenty years. “Good. I’m so glad.” The relief that melted through him and his wife was almost tangible. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me, sweetheart.”

  I gave his hand one last squeeze before releasing it and going back to where Rowan stood.

  “Well,” the woman spoke, brushing at her cheeks before extending her hand in my direction, two twenty dollar bills held out to me. “This has most certainly been a blessed day. We’ve received the answer to our prayer and I get this beautiful jewelry for a steal!”

  I let out a light giggle as I gently pushed her hand back. “You get this jewelry for free.”

  “Oh, no,” Officer Michaels sputtered. “We couldn’t…”

  “You can,” I insisted. “Consider it a gift.”

  “A gift for what?”

  “For offering a scared little girl the kindness she needed to get her through a hard time.” One more tear broke free from his eyes as he gave me a jerky nod.

  “You okay?” Rowan asked a few minutes later, once the older couple had blended into the mass of shoppers.

  “Yeah.” I sighed, reaching to wrap both my arms around his waist. I rested my head on his strong, sturdy chest as I silently counted my blessings. “I’m great, actually.”

  His fingers came to my chin, tilting my face up so he could place a soft kiss on my lips. “You know I love you, right?”

  “I love you, too.” I smiled sincerely.

  “You better say yes when I propose,” he warned playfully, and my smile grew even bigger.

  “Then you better make it a damn good proposal.”

  Rowan winked and I felt my body melt further into him. “Don’t you worry about that. When I do, it’ll be epic.”

  As I stared up into Rowan’s icy blue eyes, there was no fear, no uncertainty. The walls I’d built around myself to protect my heart were long gone.

  “I can’t wait.”

  “This is so boring,” Carson groaned at the ceiling dramatically, making a scene and causing the people near us to turn and stare.

  “Will you please shut up?” Cassidy whisper-yelled. “It’s almost over.”

  I shot a look at my brother, hoping to melt the skin off his face before looking back at Rowan and giving him a thumbs-up just as the last person in line placed their book on the table for him to sign.

  I couldn’t have been prouder of him. His latest book, Love Hate Relationship, released to astounding numbers, still sitting at the number one spot on the New York Times, as well as every other bestseller list, for the fourth week in a row. To say he was more than a little shocked would have been putting it lightly. The book was a step outside of the box for him. He’d never written anything but murder mysteries his entire career, so releasing a book that was eerily similar to our own personal story opened him up to a whole new audience… one that included me.

  While he vehemently denied that his book fell into the genre, I got off on giving him shit for writing his first ever romance novel, telling him how excited I was that he’d finally written something interesting. That had led to many fights. Not that I cared really; the only thing better than sex with Rowan was makeup sex with Rowan.

  In celebration of his success, we’d flown my entire family up from Texas so they could spend the holidays in New York, as well as see Rowan in his element. I thought it would be good fun for Carson and Cassidy to join me, Rowan’s mom and brother, along with Griffin and Pepper, at one of Rowan’s readings while Kal and Milly took Willow and Kallum to Central Park. The only thing I hadn’t realized was that our little hodge-podge group should have never been allowed out in public. If it wasn’t Carson showing his ass, it was Griffin intentionally setting Pepper off on a tangent. The whole day had been one drama after another. I really could have used Harlow there to keep me sane, but she’d gone back home to Jackson Hole a week ago for a family emergency.

  “Thank God,” he grunted loudly.

  Ignoring the weird looks from the people who had crammed into The Strand for Rowan’s latest
book signing, I turned to Carson and issued my fifth threat of the day. “I swear to God, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to murder you in your sleep,” I hissed as quietly as possible. “Then I’m going to raise Kallum to be a Yankee Democrat!”

  “You wouldn’t,” he gasped.

  “Watch me.”

  Carson leaned against the wall, arms crossed angrily across his chest as he pouted. “This is so stupid. Why do I have to be here?”

  “Because you’re supporting the man I love,” I countered.

  “I’m never even gonna read the damn book,” he shot back. “Real men don’t read that girly, chick shit.”

  “Amen,” Richard added in solidarity, raising his hand to high-five Carson. I was surrounded by toddlers.

  “Hey!” I pointed at Richard. “You’re supposed to be the supportive brother.”

  He grinned at me. It was still somewhat disconcerting to see the same characteristics Rowan had in someone else, but I was slowly getting used to it. Richard and Rowan were working on rebuilding their relationship, so I was bound to see him often. “Just because I’m not willing to read the book doesn’t mean I’m not supportive.”

  “It’s not girly, chick shit,” Cassidy interjected. “It’s a beautiful story he wrote based on his relationship with Navie.”

  “Wait… is there sex in this book?”

  Uh-oh.

  “Oh, dear,” Rowan’s mother, Marie, mumbled from behind her hand, clearly trying to stifle her laughter at the same time everyone else—well, except for Carson—broke into loud, raucous laughter.

  “Everything okay over here?” Rowan asked as he joined our group of misfits, having finished with the last reader. He leaned in to give his mother a quick kiss before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and holding me against him.

  “You mean besides the fact you’re a pervert?” Carson snipped.

  “Why me?” I lamented, staring up at the heavens as Marie lost the battle against her giggles and joined in along with everyone else.

  “Oh, sweet girl,” she offered, patting my arm. “You knew what you were getting into when you picked this one, here,” she told me, throwing her thumb in Rowan’s direction.