Won't Miss You: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (We Shouldn't Book 4)

by Lilian Monroe

  “It’s about Lucy and Sawyer.”

  “What? Are they dead?” My father arches an eyebrow, totally oblivious to the fact that his words just sent a dagger piercing through my chest.

  I shake my head. “N-no. No, they’re not dead. They’re doing really well. They’re up in the Pacific Northwest, in a town called Woodvale. I was thinking that before you leave, you might want to go up there. Lucy’s son is almost three, and—”

  “Our flight is this afternoon,” my father interrupts.

  “Your sister knew the rules when she got herself knocked up,” my mother says, smoothing her hands over her already-perfect hair. “We have nothing more to say. She lost the privilege of being part of this family.”

  I gather my courage. “It’s been years. Don’t you think it’s time—”

  “It’s time,” my father booms, “for me to retire. Now, I’ve marked all the pages where you need to sign and initial. The lawyer should be here any minute to witness it.”

  “What if I don’t want to be on the board? If I don’t want the house?” My voice is small, but I force myself to hold my father’s gaze.

  My mother laughs. “What are you talking about, honey? Of course you want the house. Plus, where would we stay when we come visit?”

  “I don’t know. A hotel?”

  I stare at her, but her face is blank. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffs. “We need you to take care of the house while we’re gone. If you won’t look after your father’s business, this is the least you can do. Your brother and sister turned their backs on us, and now you’re the only one we can trust.”

  I know she’s being manipulative. I know in my heart that those words aren’t true. I know that my brother and sister didn’t just leave—they were thrown out.

  So why do I hesitate?

  I should walk out.

  I should get on the first flight back to Woodvale and go to Benji’s party. I should throw myself onto my knees and ask for his forgiveness, knowing that real, genuine relationships are more valuable than anything else—and definitely more valuable than all this fakery.

  But my father’s face softens, and he stands up to come sit down on the armchair next to mine. When he takes my hand in his, my chest constricts.

  “We’re so proud of you, Rae. You’ve done so well over the past few years, and you’ve proven yourself worthy of the business. But it’s time to step up now. You’ll have the house to take care of. We need you.”

  Why do those words have such an effect on me?

  In my heart, I still want my parents’ approval. I still want them to love me. I want them in my life.

  Even though they turned their backs on Lucy and Sawyer. Even though they’ve never met Roman. Even though they have no qualms about treating me like the golden child, when my siblings were tossed out like dirty bath water.

  They’re my parents.

  Hasn’t it been drilled into me to care for my elders? To respect my parents? Didn’t they give me everything when I grew up?

  I wouldn’t have a successful résumé if it weren’t for my father’s money. I wouldn’t have gone to the best schools, the best college. I wouldn’t have had the opportunities they gave me.

  Don’t I owe them something back?

  I feel like I’m being split in half. One half of my heart wants to be in Woodvale. To be as strong as Sawyer and Lucy, and just walk away. To run to Benji and forget about the money and the power here in Houston. To leave oil and gas behind and pursue the landscape architecture business I’ve always dreamed of. To do something for me.

  But the other half?

  The other half is just a scared little girl who wants nothing more than her parents’ approval.

  And stupid, silly me, I still want them to meet Roman. Still, deep down, I think it would change how they think of Lucy.

  I take a deep breath. “Will you come to Woodvale? Please? If I sign for the house, will you delay your flight and come up to meet them?”

  My father shifts away from me, letting out a low grumble. My mother sighs dramatically, wrapping her silky kaftan around her slim waist.

  The doorbell rings, and the two of them exchange a glance. “We could possibly go see them,” my father says, and hope flares in my chest. “But that’s the lawyer, and we need to take care of this paperwork.”

  27

  Benji

  On Saturday morning, the sky is gray. It matches my mood. I roll over in bed to see the empty space beside me, sighing.

  I miss Rae.

  Even though I want to be mad at her, I still miss her. I miss her smell. Her laugh. The way she sighs happily when she has her first sip of coffee in the morning.

  Everything.

  But I also hate that she left. I feel stupid for not seeing her for who she is. Who she’s always been! I feel like a fool for falling for whatever act she put on.

  There’s a text from her on my phone, but I don’t have the energy to answer.

  Have fun today, she says.

  Have fun? Have fun?

  Who does she think she is? She takes off the day before the event I’ve been planning for weeks—the day I was so proud to have her as my date—and she tells me to have fucking fun.

  As I swing my legs off the bed, a realization dawns on me.

  Maybe it’s not just the house that her parents are gifting her. Maybe she didn’t want to be my date at all. Maybe she was all too happy to leave today, because it meant she didn’t have to go to the party with me.

  Sawyer saw us together, and it freaked her out.

  She never wanted to be with me at all.

  It was all just an act. A ruse. She used me for sex or fun or whatever it was she wanted, but when I told her I wanted to be with her for real, she took off.

  But yeah, thanks, Rae. I’m going to have fun.

  As I shower, I try to push Rae out of my head. Today is about Sarah. My sister. My family. The ones who really matter.

  I dress and head to the airfield, where Willow is already in full-on preparation mode. Nadia and Esme are there, helping to arrange tables and chairs. The DJ is setting up.

  A huge banner reads Happy Birthday, Sarah, and there’s a buzz in the hangar I haven’t felt before.

  Willow sees me at the entrance, lifting an arm toward me. “Benji! Come help me move this table.”

  I school my face to hide my bad mood and help her put the table and chairs in place. Willow lets out a sigh, staring at me expectantly.

  “So? What do you think?”

  “Looks great.”

  “I just have the centerpieces to arrange, and then we should be pretty close to ready. I’m glad you went with just a buffet style food. The caterer will be here soon and it should be easy to set up.”

  I nod, a lump forming in my throat.

  Even though I’m mad, I miss Rae. Betrayal clouds my vision, but I wish she were here.

  She’s not, though.

  She left me with nothing more than a phone call and a box of fucking store-bought cookies. Went off to collect a free house that her parents handed out, leaving her siblings behind here with me.

  I scoff, shaking my head.

  I can’t believe I fell for it.

  Willow appears beside me again, rattling off plans and timing for Sarah’s arrival. I grunt, nodding, trying my best to focus.

  Today should be about Sarah, but all I can think about is Rae. Everything she said was all a lie. She didn’t want to be here at all.

  Sawyer’s car pulls up outside and I walk out to direct him to the back of the hangar. He rolls his window down and I explain, “We don’t want a bunch of cars here when I drive up with Sarah later.”

  “Ah.” He nods, grinning. “Of course.”

  His smile looks like Rae’s. My chest constricts. I shake my head to dispel the thought.

  She left. I need to accept that.

  I take a deep breath and follow Sawyer to the back of the building, watching him park in a free space. He gets out of his
car and strides toward me, his smile slipping ever so slightly.

  “You okay, Benji?” He glances over my shoulder. “Where’s Rae?”

  My eyebrows jump up. She didn’t even tell Sawyer? How can she pretend to be all about family when she didn’t even tell her brother she was going down to Houston?

  I scoff, shaking my head. “Your parents beckoned her, and she scuttled back to meet them.”

  Sawyer frowns. “What? When?”

  “Last night.”

  “She’s in Houston right now?”

  I nod.

  “But she knew this party was happening today.”

  I pinch my lips, swallowing down my bitterness. “Yep.”

  “Why?”

  “Something about the house. They’re signing it over to her so they can leave the country.”

  Sawyer’s eyes widen, and I just nod.

  “Yeah,” I say.

  “What the fuck?”

  “I know.”

  Emotions flash across my best friend’s face. Confusion. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. I know them all—I’ve felt them all over the past twelve hours or so.

  Finally, Sawyer’s face settles, and he swings his eyes back to me. “Forget about it. Let’s just focus on today. You’ve done a beautiful thing for your sister, Benji. She’s going to love it.”

  I grunt in response, not knowing what to say. It feels empty now. The party. The celebration. The tablecloths and food and drinks and banners. The surprise.

  How can I have fun when I know Rae isn’t the person she pretended to be? I let myself feel things I didn’t think were possible. I let myself hope the future would be bright.

  I let myself believe that someone wouldn’t turn around and abandon me.

  Guess I was wrong.

  As the morning drags on, my eyes always move to the hangar’s entrance. All our friends trickle in, and every time I see movement near the door, hope flames in my chest.

  Maybe Rae will come back?

  But it’s never her. As time marches onward, I know I’m being ridiculous. She’s not here, and she’s not coming back.

  I wipe the scowl off my face and try to appear happier than I feel. It’s empty, though. When the time comes, I head off to go pick Sarah up, knowing that Oliver will have her ready at the house. Oliver, me, Sarah, and the kids will head back here for the big surprise.

  As I drive across town and park in front of Sarah’s house, my heart squeezes painfully.

  Rae should be here.

  I don’t care what she says. I don’t care what excuse she gives.

  She should have stayed.

  Oliver opens the front door and flashes a smile at me. My brother-in-law is a good man, and he treats my sister right. He was thrilled about this party, and he gives me a firm handshake.

  “She has no idea,” he whispers, smiling.

  I force my lips to curve up, nodding. We gather the kids together and pack them into their car seats, Oliver driving their family car behind mine as we head toward the airfield.

  I should be excited. Anticipation should be curling in the pit of my stomach, and I should be hardly able to contain myself, but I feel empty. Even as we park the cars and head toward the hangar. Even as I open the door and usher Sarah inside. Even as every one of our loved ones pops up from behind pieces of furniture and yells, Surprise!

  It’s not enough to fill the hole in my chest.

  I paint a smile on my miserable features, hugging Sarah as she soaks my shirt with happy tears. She laughs, beaming at everyone assembled, and the party starts.

  My father walks up with his wife and kid, giving Sarah a hug and wishing her a happy birthday. Her eyes shine as she turns to me, a soft smile gracing her face. She’s glad I invited him, just like I knew she would be.

  I watch everyone laughing, singing, dancing, drinking, and I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience. It’s like I’m watching my life pass me by. All the while, I’m holding the pathetic candle that I keep alive for Rae.

  My eyes drift to the door behind me, hoping she’ll walk through.

  She doesn’t.

  Sawyer comes to stand next to me, handing me a drink. “Well done, Benji. Sarah looks happy.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You, on the other hand…” He stares at me, arching an eyebrow.

  I snort, shaking my head. “I’ll snap out of it.”

  He pinches his lips, nodding. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think she’d leave. Sometimes, I don’t understand Rae at all.”

  “You and me both.” I give him a tight smile and walk away.

  I spend the day avoiding people. I worked so hard to plan this party. Spent so much money on it. Even invited my father and his family, too—but now, I just want it to end.

  28

  Rae

  My hand trembles as I sign the papers that secure my spot on the board of directors of my father’s company. Then, the house is transferred over to my name.

  It feels almost like a bribe, and when it’s over, I want to take a shower. The lawyer takes the papers and shuffles back out the door, and I’m alone with my parents again.

  My father’s lips are pinched, and my mother looks satisfied. She pats her hair and lets out a soft grunt in satisfaction.

  Handing my father’s heavy, expensive pen back to him, I look him in the eye. “So? Will you change your flights?”

  “Change them to what, darling?” my mother interjects.

  I frown. “Change them to a later day so you can come up to Woodvale with me.” I speak slowly, enunciating every word. My eyes travel from my mother to my father and back again.

  My father lets out a sigh and waves a hand. “Rae, we can’t change the flights. We have to go close on a house in Milan the day after tomorrow.”

  “But you said—”

  “I said we’d think about it.”

  Horror floods through me and my blood runs cold. “You never had any intention of coming up to see Sawyer and Lucy.”

  My father grunts, puffing his chest out. “I don’t understand why you insist on talking to them at all. They made their choice, Rae. They left.”

  “They’re family.”

  “We’re your family,” my mother spits. “We’ve been there for you from the beginning. Is this how you repay us? By trying to manipulate us into going somewhere we don’t want to go?”

  I scoff, choking on my own spittle. Me manipulating them? It’s almost laughable, if they weren’t looking at me with deathly serious looks on their faces.

  “Excuse me?” I manage to say. “I’m only trying to get you to talk to your children. Remember? The other two kids that you birthed?”

  “They chose to leave, Rae. They have to live with that choice.”

  “You threw them out! Told Lucy she was a disgrace, when all she did was get pregnant. Her son is amazing, by the way. And Sawyer felt like he had to leave. Once he refused the job, you wouldn’t even speak to him.”

  “It’s done,” my father grunts, turning away from me. “They’re not part of this family anymore.”

  “They’re part of my family,” I say, my voice trembling.

  My mother waves a hand and my father turns his back. I stand in my father’s study, feeling completely alone and totally foolish.

  They were never going to come up to Woodvale with me. My parents have no interest in reconciliation. I came here on a fool’s errand, with silly ideas about a big, happy family.

  Sawyer was right. I’ve been naive.

  The realization hits me like a punch in the gut. My whole world shimmers and trembles before me, and I realize just how stupid I’ve been.

  I left Woodvale the day before Benji’s party for this.

  I hurt him for this.

  I turned my back on the one man who has made me feel good about myself—for this.

  My heart jumps, and panic clenches at my gut. My blood ices as I stand there, realizations hitting me in quick succession.

  I shouldn’t have come here.
<
br />   It was never going to work.

  My parents aren’t the people I want them to be.

  I’ll never have the Brady-Bunch family I hoped I’d have.

  Suddenly, I need to get out. I need to leave. I spin on my heels and tear through the house, getting to my childhood bedroom as the maid finishes unpacking my suitcase.

  “Shit,” I say.

  “Miss Montgomery!” Her eyes are wide with fear, and I feel slightly sorry for her. “I saw you hadn’t unpacked. I thought…” She bites her lip. She probably needs this job, and I’m sure my parents are treating her like dirt. They probably don’t even see her as a real person.

  I take a deep breath, forcing a smile. “It’s fine. Thank you.”

  She ducks her head and leaves the room, and I tear the carefully hung clothes off the silk-covered hangers and toss them all into my small suitcase. My hands tremble as I try to fit everything back in, crushing my clothing down and kneeling on my bag as I try to close it up again.

  The zipper’s about to burst, but it doesn’t matter. I pull out my phone and try to get the screen to work, but my hands are too sweaty. I wipe my fingers on my pants and try again, finding the airline’s website and looking for the next available flight.

  In a few taps, I’ve booked a seat. My heart jumps, and I pick up the suitcase, throwing one last glance around the room.

  This isn’t my home. It never was.

  My home is a small, sweet town, nestled between the mountains and the ocean. It’s green, and lush, and has lots of birds singing in the trees. It rains a lot, but when the sun shines, it’s glorious.

  My home is Woodvale.

  It’s near Sawyer, and Lucy, and Roman.

  My home is with Benji.

  I tear through the house, making it to the front door before my father appears behind me.

  “Rae! Where are you going?”

  I pause at the threshold, looking at the man who still refuses to meet with my siblings. Squaring my shoulders, I face him.

  “I’m going home.”

  We stare at each other for a moment, and I can see the anger rippling through his body. But what do I care? What does it matter if he’s mad?