Won't Miss You: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (We Shouldn't Book 4)

by Lilian Monroe

  I thought we had a deal—I would accept the board position and the house, and they would come meet my siblings.

  They reneged on that deal, so I’m leaving. Turning on my heels without another word, I rush out the front door, checking the time on my phone.

  Cliff sees me from the garage, and he jumps into the car. He pulls up outside and I toss my suitcase in the back seat before climbing in after it.

  “Airport,” I say. “My flight leaves in an hour and a half.”

  He nods without a word, and I let out a sigh. My heart still hammers in my chest, but it feels calmer now. Turning around in my seat, I watch the big, sprawling mansion with the terracotta roof tiles fade into the distance. My pulse eases ever so slightly, and I lean back in the seat. I close my eyes, imagining what it’ll feel like to be in Benji’s arms again.

  I say goodbye to the overpasses. Goodbye to the concrete. Goodbye to the oil and gas.

  When we get to the airport, I give Cliff a hug and wish him good luck. My knee bounces as I wait in the airport lounge. My hands clench and unclench as I board the plane, and my knee goes back to bouncing as soon as I’m in my seat.

  Only a few hours now. A short flight back across the country, then a drive to the airfield. If I’m lucky, the party will still be going on when I get there.

  I take deep breaths that are supposed to be calming, but they only serve to make me more nervous.

  I never should have come here. I never should have left Benji the day of Sarah’s party.

  I should have listened to Sawyer. I should have stayed by Lucy’s side. Stayed by Benji’s side. Stayed with my family.

  Isn’t that what’s always been important to me? Isn’t that what I’ve been fighting for the whole time?

  The hours I spend on that plane drag on, and I dissect the past few years of my life. I think about Lucy being disowned. About Sawyer leaving. About all the sacrifices I’ve made to bring them back together.

  But mostly, I think about Benji. How he makes me feel whole. How he makes me think about a brighter future.

  I love him with all my heart, in a way I never thought was possible. Benji is the one who makes my heart thump. He’s the one who makes Woodvale feel like home. He’s the true reason I’m rushing back across the country.

  I just hope he’ll forgive me for leaving in the first place.

  As the plane touches down, my nerves ramp up. I get in a rental car and head for the airfield, a lump in my throat and my heart clenched.

  I drive through the lush, green forests as a drizzle of rain coats the car, and a smile tugs at my lips. Rain can’t dampen my mood, because I’m home.

  Home.

  And in mere minutes, I’ll be with the man I love.

  I approach the airfield and park the car, getting out to face the big hangar. There’s no music or sound of revelry, which makes my gut clench tight.

  I’ve missed the party.

  I stare at the big, corrugated metal hangar, knowing I made a mistake by leaving, but now’s my chance to make up for it.

  Gathering all my courage, I walk to the door and peek through.

  Benji has a big, black garbage bag, and he’s dumping empty glasses and cans into it. He stuffs used paper plates into it, bending over to pick up a stray decoration from the ground.

  When I clear my throat, he turns his head to look at me. His eyes widen, and my heart grows.

  It’s only been twenty-four hours, but it feels like a lifetime. I take a step toward him, wanting to run to him. Needing to throw my arms around him and kiss him until the end of days.

  But his eyes, usually so bright, are dim. His mouth is turned down. He straightens himself up, turning to face me.

  “Rae,” he says, and my heart sinks.

  He’s not happy to see me. He’s not relieved or grateful I’m here.

  He’s angry.

  29

  Benji

  I’m having visions. Rae’s name rasps through my throat, scraping my vocal cords on the way out. Pain slices at my throat, and her name burns me as I say it.

  Rae’s eyebrows draw together, her eyes full of sorrow and hope.

  “Hey, Benji,” she says.

  It’s wrong how much I love her voice. It shouldn’t be allowed. Rae stands there, looking ethereal and perfect, and I dig deeper into my own anger.

  She hurt me when she left. This party meant a lot to me, but she chose money instead.

  I grind my teeth together, wishing she didn’t still hold my heart. Rae takes a step toward me, sucking a breath in through those luscious lips.

  My body betrays me. It wants her just as much as it did a day ago. My body yearns for her. Leans toward her. Aches for her touch, her kiss, her sex.

  But right now, my mind is stronger. My rage wins.

  “You’re here,” I spit.

  Rae stops, coming to stand six feet away from me. She nods. “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  “I shouldn’t have left, Benji.” Her voice is soft, and it wraps itself around my heart, squeezing painfully.

  I scoff. “You think?”

  “My parents…”

  “I’m not really interested in hearing about your parents, Rae. It doesn’t concern me.”

  “I thought I could make them come here.”

  My jaw tenses as my eyes narrow. “Did they sign the house over to you?”

  Silence stretches between us, so taut it almost hurts. My ears ring as Rae’s eyes widen, those perfect, kissable lips falling open.

  I cross my arms. “So? Did they?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “I don’t want to hear it, Rae,” I grunt. “You made your choice.”

  “Benji, I didn’t—”

  “We’re done here,” I snap. I turn away from her, grabbing the trash bag from the floor and scooping bottles and cans into it.

  I can feel her behind me. I can sense the words she’s holding back. I know she wants me to turn around and run to her. She wants me to wrap my arms around her and tell her it’s all okay. I forgive her. I understand.

  But the truth?

  I don’t forgive her.

  She left.

  Rae knew how important this party was to me. She knew how much I wanted her here. She knew what it meant to me to come to this party together. She understood that being my date today was a big deal to me.

  And she threw it back in my face.

  For what? A house? A spot on her father’s board of directors?

  There’s an old saying about having your cake and eating it, too. Rae seems to have forgotten it.

  I keep my back to her, choosing instead to focus on the cleanup of the airfield hangar. Rae shuffles her feet and sniffles, and then I hear her turn around and walk away.

  Good.

  I don’t want her here anyway.

  So why does it hurt so much when the door clangs shut?

  The next day, Sarah, Oliver, and the kids come over to my house. My sister greets me with a big smile on her face. She throws her arms around me, squeezing tight.

  “Thank you,” she says softly. “Oliver told me how much work you put into yesterday’s party. It was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

  “You deserve it,” I say. “Hopefully it’s a good start to your thirties.”

  I invite them in, offering them coffee and juice and water. The kids run to the living room to play, while Oliver and Sarah follow me into the kitchen.

  I try to force a smile on my lips, but my sister knows something’s wrong.

  “You’re not yourself,” she says, accepting a mug of coffee and throwing a glance at her kids. We walk to the living room, and I use the few seconds to gather my thoughts.

  “I’m fine,” I finally say. “A bit tired.”

  My sister searches my face, not satisfied with my platitudes. “You’re not. Something’s bothering you.”

  Oliver meets my eye, and I know he understands. He puts a hand around Sarah to try to distract her, but she shrugs him away.<
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  “Tell me,” she commands.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s Rae, isn’t it?” Her eyebrows draw together. “I saw her arriving home late last night. Are you mad she wasn’t at the party? She went down to Texas, didn’t she? Lucy told me.”

  I let out a sigh, shaking my head. Of course my sister knew Rae and I were seeing each other. Who didn’t?

  “It’s fine, Sarah. It’s done.”

  My sister stares at me for a long moment, then finally shakes her head. “Don’t throw a good thing away for your own pride, Benji.”

  I grunt in response.

  That’s the second time someone’s told me what a good thing Rae is. First Harold, now my sister. What if they don’t know the whole truth? What if they don’t understand that Rae chose money over me. She chose to go collect an inheritance instead of being by my side.

  She abandoned me. Just like everyone else.

  Is that really a good thing? Is that really the kind of person I want to have in my life? What if they’re just telling me to settle?

  I’d rather be alone than be with someone who puts their bank account ahead of me.

  “Have you eaten breakfast?” Sarah asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I shake my head, and she goes to the kitchen to cook up some food. I sit in the living room, playing with my niece and nephew and trying my best to forget about the brown-haired beauty who lives a couple of streets away.

  Monday morning is hell. I head to the garage, knowing I’ll see Rae.

  I don’t just see her. I inhale her. I drink her in from a distance, knowing I still want her. Then, I beat my thoughts back and remind myself she’s not everything she seems.

  Yes, she may be gorgeous. She may have almond eyes and a honeyed voice, but it’s not real. None of it is real.

  Rae Montgomery is exactly what her brother originally thought. She’s out for herself, and she’ll walk all over everyone else to get there. Sure, she wanted to bring her brother and sister back together. Sure, she provided for her nephew. So what?

  When push came to shove, she took her parents’ money. She went down there and collected a paycheck instead of being here for me.

  That’s the important thing. That’s what matters, when thinking about what type of person she is. She put herself first.

  I get to work on a car, turning my back to the office. After a time, I hear the door open, but I refuse to look. It’s not until I feel a small, warm hand on my back that I turn to look.

  Rae is close enough to touch. Close enough to kiss. Close enough to forgive.

  But I turn my lips to a snarl. “What do you want?”

  She flinches, biting her lip. Then she shakes her head. “Nothing. Never mind.”

  There’s a sadness in her eyes, and I regret my harsh tone. Louder inside me, though, is the pain and anger I cling onto. Rae takes a deep breath, drops her head, and starts toward the exit. I watch her walk away, my eyes glued to her ass.

  I guess that’s it, then. That’s how it ends.

  I close myself off. She walks away. I stay behind.

  The world keeps spinning, and I feel like I’m standing still.

  30

  Rae

  For two weeks, Benji and I orbit around each other. We keep a distance, and it hurts me to my core. I go to the garage in the hope of catching a glimpse of him, and he does all he can to avoid me. When I see his truck parked outside Sarah’s house, my chest constricts.

  He never says a word to me.

  Two weeks after I arrive, I see him pull up outside his sister’s house for their weekly family dinner. I’m in the front yard, weeding.

  He gets out of his truck without looking at me, his jaw clenched.

  “Benji,” I say, the word ripped out of my throat.

  Swinging his gaze to me, Benji grunts. “Yeah?”

  I open and close my mouth, not sure what to say. Finally, I take a step toward him. My eyes drift over his broad shoulders, the stubble on his jaw, the way his hands clench into fists.

  My heart stutters. He’s shut off from me. His walls are up, drawbridge closed, eyes on attack. Pain rockets through my chest cavity, bouncing against my ribs and making me stop in my tracks. Is this really the man I fell for?

  “I don’t want you to hate me,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I missed the party.”

  Benji stares at me for a moment, then scoffs. He shakes his head, his mouth turning down. I can feel the bitterness rolling off him in waves.

  “It’s not about the party, Rae,” he says, and the sound of my name makes my heart skip a beat. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

  I can’t answer.

  Benji lets out a sigh, his eyes softening. “You left when you knew it was important to me, and you went to see people who turned their backs on your brother and sister. You chose them over all of us. Over me. It’s not about missing a party, Rae. It’s the fact that you took their house. You took their job. You took everything they offered, and then you came back here and thought you could have me, too.” He shakes his head. “That’s not how it works.”

  “Benji…”

  He drops his head, turning away from me, and my heart splinters. A dagger jams itself in my chest, all the way to the hilt. I watch him walk away, and I know it’s over between us.

  For two weeks, I’ve held out hope that he’d forgive me. That he’d see things from my perspective.

  Now, I realize that won’t happen.

  I trudge back into my own house, wondering how it is that my whole world fell apart around me—and if I’ll have to live the rest of my days watching him live his life from a distance.

  For the first time in two weeks, I allow myself to cry. I get in the shower and stand under the stream, letting the water mix with my tears until my fingers wrinkle and the water runs cold.

  “He’ll come around, Rae,” Lucy says, putting her hand over mine. “He just needs time. The party meant a lot to him.”

  I smile sadly, shaking my head. “I don’t think so. I can see it in his eyes. He doesn’t look at me the same way he used to.”

  “Just because you missed his party?”

  “It’s more than that.” My voice is drenched in sadness. It’s hard to explain the depth of Benji’s anger to my sister, when all she sees is a small disagreement.

  It’s not just the party. It’s not just the house, or the position on the board.

  He doesn’t see me the same way as he did before, and I doubt he ever will. Whatever happened between us, it fizzled out as quickly as it flamed. Something shifted when I left, and I’m not sure it’ll ever shift back.

  The illusion shattered. The vision dispelled.

  And I’m crushed.

  I hurried back to Woodvale because I finally realized what I’d left behind. I chose Benji and my siblings over my parents. I chose Woodvale over Houston. Family over wealth.

  But Benji only sees what I left behind.

  If he can’t meet me halfway, is that really the type of person I want to be with? Ever since I came back, he’s hardly spoken to me at all. When he does, it’s rude, and short, and sharp. It’s not the way I want a partner to speak to me. It’s not the way someone talks when they’re supposed to care about you.

  A tear rolls down my cheek before I can brush it away. Lucy lets out a sigh. I lift my eyes to my sister, drawing my eyebrows together.

  “I love him, Lucy,” I whisper. “I fell in love with him as soon as I arrived here, and nothing has ever been the same.”

  “Oh, Rae.” Lucy sighs. She squeezes my hand. “Your heart has always been too big for your own good.”

  “I’m not sure that’s true.” I grimace as my chest squeezes. “I think I wanted to have it all—the big family, the boyfriend, the happy life—and I forgot to look around and see what was important to everyone else.”

  “It’s just a party, Rae. He’ll understand once he calms down.”

  I shake my head. “It’s more than a party.”


  Lucy arches her brows, staring at me like she knows what I mean. Her words won’t comfort me now.

  The front door opens, and we both turn to see my brother step through. Sawyer’s eyebrows jump up when he sees me, then he clicks his tongue and shakes his head. He’s been angry with me since I got back, too. He hasn’t come around to the house and has barely spoken to me at the garage.

  “Hey, Sawyer.” A lump forms in my throat. I can’t handle my brother being mad at me, too. I’m tired.

  “You shouldn’t have left.” His eyes are hard.

  “I know.”

  “Did you get what you wanted from our parents?”

  He crosses his arms, staying on the opposite side of the room. The distance between us feels vast, and Lucy squeezes my hand again. At least she’s in my corner.

  I clear my throat. “No. I wanted them to come up here, and they refused.”

  “But you got the house and the job.” His gaze narrows.

  “They promised they’d change their flights and come meet you guys if I signed the papers. I thought—” My voice catches, and I bite my lip to stop the tears from flowing.

  I don’t want to cry. I feel like an idiot. I really thought my parents would stay true to their word. I thought they’d come up here. I thought we’d have a reunion, and there’d at least be a chance that we could be a real family.

  Now?

  I just feel like a fool. It seems so obvious in retrospect.

  Sawyer scoffs, shaking his head. “They were never going to come up here, Rae. I told you that. They don’t care about us. Lucy and I might as well not exist in their universe.”

  “I guess I didn’t want to believe that.”

  My brother’s face softens, and he lets out a sigh. “You know, everyone thinks I’m the idealistic one, but I think it’s actually you, Rae. You just refuse to let go of this idea of family. You refuse to see what’s right in front of you. You get to choose who your family is. But if you’re choosing Mom and Dad, you’re choosing wrong.”

  I bite my lip so hard I taste blood, but it’s no use. Tears flow down my face as I collapse in on myself, finally hearing the truth of his words.