The Prince Of Highland Park
Page 14
How can I explain that I let a woman raped me over and over and over again, because I was too weak to defend myself? How can anyone see me as a man, how can I see me as a man after I let that happened to me. I can’t even face it. I can’t face myself, and I don’t want pity from anyone. I need for Evelyn to walk away. I feel Ev’s hands on my cheeks wiping the tears I didn’t know was running down my face. “Fuck Ev, I don’t want you here, please leave and don’t come back. I can’t see you right now, please leave me alone” I snap turning from her, not wanting to see the pain I’m causing her. I most definitely don’t want her to see the turmoil going on inside me. Before I could tell her to leave again she walks out the door. Feeling fucked up, because I just sent away the one person that may be able to help me heal, the one person that may help to take my mind off the shit. Fuck my pride, but I can’t not until I get a grip on myself at least.
Pressing the nurse button for assistance, I waited for someone to respond. I need to go to the bathroom and I need help. This pathetic fucking man needs help to go to the fucking bathroom how much sadder can I get. The door opens and in comes a ragging Evelyn. “I have some things I need to say before I go. I don’t know what happened to you when you were with Chloe, because I can see you want to shut me out. I can see that you are wallowing in self-pity, and right now you might need to do just that, to help you process what happened, but let me tell you something. I love you; I love you three years ago when I saw you at the club sitting there with your friends. I love you, when you ran around with all those different girls. I love you when you first invited me to your party. I love you, when you fucked those girls after kissing me. I love you, when you made love to me for the first time. I love you, when I didn’t hear from you for weeks after giving myself to you. I love you, when Mitch came to my door kidnaps me, and brought me here to see you. I love you, when I came through that door and saw you in this bed with bandages. And I love you now, knowing that you are pushing me away for whatsoever reason you conjure up in your head. I can tell you this with certainty, I will always love you, so no matter what you think is best for me, pushing me away is not going to make me love you any less. I can wait until you are ready to let me in. To tell me what you went through, but you need to know this, no matter what you tell me I will love you no less. You have my number; call me when you are ready. I’ll be here waiting.” Before I could say anything she turned around and walks out the door. Even if she was still standing here I don’t know what I would say to her. She left me utterly speechless. I knew she likes me a lot, but to hear her say she loves me is beyond anything I was expecting her to say. I know she won’t understand my reasoning, but I need to protect her. I need her to be safe.
The nurse walked in taking me out of my reverie and helps me to the bathroom. Thanking my lucky stars, that I did survive my ordeal, thanking heavens for Mitch coming to my recue, and praying that he will watch over Evelyn and keep her safe until I can. I don’t know what I’ll do if anything happens to her, so I need her safe until I can face her again.
Acknowledgements
To my husband for believing that I could do this even before I did.
To my baby girls for your patience when mommy said “give me a few”
To my brother who’s belief in me never falters.
To my family for standing by me
Thank you
I’ve always wanted to write but kept putting it off. I never thought I was capable of following through, but I did, and I must say it was liberating. I was extremely nervous about publishing this story, I had to figure out what my story would tell, and once I did that it finally came together. I want to thank my daughter for her contributory poem, I read it and I fell in love with it. I want to thank Katrina Vore for her help when I accidentally emailed her and she responded. She gave me some great information that I never would have thought about as a new author, I do appreciate your referrals and help. I also want to thank Deer Watson Media for their patience when designing my book cover. To my working buddies you know who you are, thanks for all the laughter’s that kept me sane. To Andrea Webster, thank you for all your help. I thought when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, it would be a train. But with all your help, I came to see it was not a train, but my way to the end of what I started.
Finally, I want to give out a ginormous THANK YOU to the readers. Thank you for walking this journey with me.
Coming soon from Marilyn Faith
The Prince of Highland Park book 2: BLISS
PURGE to be release winter 2014
Please visit me online:
www.facebook.com/marilynfaith
marilynfaith1@yahoo.com