Amos and the Chameleon Caper

by Gary Paulsen

  Dunc held up his hand. “Wait. There’s the muscleman. Looks like he’s leaving. Okay, now the redhead is going into another room. So far I don’t see anyone else.”

  “Do you need me to watch for you now?” Amos moved closer.

  “Bingo!” Dunc handed Tiffany the binoculars. “Take a look at that.”

  Amos jumped up. “What is it?”

  Tiffany put the binoculars down. “I guess you were right. Now what?”

  Amos grabbed the binoculars. “Now, we let Amos have a look.” He focused on the window. It was the woman from the accident. She was patting her gray hair. Then she picked up her purse and went through the door, smiling.

  Tiffany put the phone back on the receiver and sighed. “That was my mom. My dad and his secretary had to fly to Washington, and my mom is still meeting with her home care committee. She won’t be back till late, as usual.”

  “Did she say we could order out for pizza?” Amos asked hopefully.

  “Let’s do that later. Right now, why don’t you show me some holds?”

  “Holds?”

  Dunc looked up from writing in his notebook. “You know—martial arts holds.”

  “Oh, those kind of holds. Well, I would, but shouldn’t we take this opportunity to—to—”

  Dunc stood up. “Why don’t we use this time to go talk to Grimes?”

  “That works for me.” Amos headed for the door.

  Tiffany shrugged. “That’s funny. I didn’t think Amos was even interested in the case.”

  “Don’t let that empty look fool you,” Dunc said as he and Tiffany hurried out to the hall. “Deep down Amos is really a detective at heart. He loves these things.”

  “What things?” Amos punched the elevator button.

  “I was just telling Tiffany how much you love detective work.”

  “Yeah, it’s right up there on my list with zits and liver.”

  When they stepped out of the elevator they nearly ran over Grimes. He was sweeping up a cigar ash from the marble floor.

  He straightened and smiled. “Why, hello again. Is there something I can help you young people with?”

  “As a matter of fact, there is,” Tiffany answered. “My friends and I ran into a sweet little elderly lady from apartment thirty-five-B. We were thinking of taking her some cookies later, but you know how fussy my parents are about strangers. I was just wondering what you thought of her.”

  Grimes rubbed the back of his neck. “I think you’re confused, Ms. Tiffany. The only elderly people in this building are Mr. and Mrs. Greenstein in twenty-four-A.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe she’s visiting.”

  Grimes moved behind a counter and looked through his record book. He shook his head. “No visitors have been logged in for the DeFraud apartment.”

  “Is that the couple’s name who lives there?”

  “There’s no couple. Ms. DeFraud is a single lady. She just rented the apartment last week. I don’t know anything else about her except that she paid cash and asked not to be disturbed.”

  Dunc nudged Tiffany’s shoulder. “It’s probably our mistake. Come on, Tiffany, we really should get back to our bird-watching now.”

  “Right.” Tiffany moved toward the elevator. “Well, thanks anyway, Mr. Grimes.”

  Amos followed. “We’re going bird-watching?”

  Dunc jerked him into the elevator and waited for the doors to close. “Of course not. You didn’t want me to tell Grimes we were watching Ms. DeFraud’s apartment, did you?”

  “Are we still doing that?”

  “Look, Amos, it’s like this …”

  “Something weird is going on in that apartment,” Tiffany interrupted, “and we have to find out what it is.”

  Dunc looked at her appreciatively. “I like the way you think. It’s rare to find someone who understands real detective work.”

  The elevator doors opened and Amos stared at Dunc and Tiffany as they walked down the hall comparing notes. “Scary is a better word for it,” he muttered.

  Dunc glanced back over his shoulder. “Did you say something, Amos?”

  “Don’t pay any attention to me. You two supersleuths go right ahead and work on your case. I’ve got some investigating of my own to do—in the kitchen.”

  Amos was dreaming.

  A monster cab with hairy eyebrows and huge, pointed teeth was chasing him down the sidewalk, chewing up everything in its path. It was coming closer and closer, when suddenly Amos tripped over someone’s grandmother. She stared at him with big, black binoculars, and when she had him in focus she started beating him with her walking stick.

  “Amos, wake up.” Dunc shook him again.

  Amos grabbed his arm. “Save me, Dunc! She’s killing me!”

  “What are you talking about, Amos? Tiffany’s been knocking on your door for the last ten minutes. She finally asked me to come in here and get you. Why didn’t you answer her?”

  Amos let go and looked around the room. “There was this grandma with binocular eyes who was …”

  Dunc pulled the curtains open. “I warned you not to eat that whole gallon of ice cream on top of that footlong bologna and Swiss.” He moved to the telescope Tiffany had set up the night before and scanned the windows of the apartment across the courtyard.

  Amos rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Did you guys ever see anything last night?”

  “Both women were in the apartment. So we know the older lady is definitely staying there. What we don’t know is why they’re trying to keep it a secret.”

  Amos leaned back. “So, what do you and my cousin have planned today—another fun-filled morning of invading other people’s privacy?”

  “No, that’s why Tiffany was trying to wake you up. She has a surprise for you.”

  “Really?” Amos swung his legs over the side of the bed. “What is it?”

  “I’m not sure you’re gonna like it.”

  “Of course he is.” Tiffany pushed the door open and stuck her head through. “But if you don’t hurry, we’re going to be late.”

  “For what?”

  “I have karate class today, so I called and asked permission for you to come down and show us some moves. The instructor thought it was a great idea.”

  Amos lay back on the bed. “I don’t think I feel so good.” He looked to Dunc for help.

  Dunc shrugged. “How hard can it be?”

  “Try to hurry, Amos. The class will be waiting.” Tiffany pulled the door shut.

  “You were a big help.” Amos scowled. “Now what am I going to do?”

  Dunc focused the telescope. “The redhead is going out again. I wish you hadn’t got us mixed up in this martial arts junk. Now we can’t follow her.”

  “Would you quit worrying about other people? We have a problem here.”

  Dunc put the cap on the telescope. “I don’t know what you’re so worried about. You’ve seen hundreds of ninja movies. Just fake it and give them a good show. They won’t know the difference.”

  “You think?”

  Dunc nodded. “If you live through it, you’ll have them in the palm of your hand.”

  “I think I’ve changed my mind.”

  Dunc peeked out through the dressing room door. “You can’t change your mind, Amos. There are people out there waiting for you.”

  “Let them wait. I look like I’m wearing my dad’s pajamas.”

  The instructor had loaned Amos his own extra gi—along with his black belt.

  “What am I supposed to do with this?” Amos held up the cloth belt. “It must be six feet long.”

  “You wrap it around your waist and tie it off somehow.”

  Amos wrapped … and wrapped … and wrapped. “Now what?” He had a couple of feet left over.

  “I don’t know, but you better do something quick. The instructor is coming this way.”

  Amos stuffed the end of the belt down the back of his pants and headed out the door.

  The instructor gave him a strange look.
“Is there a problem?”

  “Well, actually—” Amos started.

  “No problem,” Dunc interrupted. “Amos here just needed some time to meditate. It’s the most important part of the program.”

  “Of course.” The instructor led the way to the front of the hall.

  When Amos stepped on the mat, the room exploded. Everyone jumped to their feet and bowed. Amos hesitated and then bowed back.

  A smile crawled across his face. He stepped off the mat and everyone sat down. Quickly he jumped back on the mat. Everyone scrambled to their feet again and bowed.

  He would have tried it a third time, but Dunc grabbed his arm and pulled him to the floor.

  “Students, we are honored today by the presence of someone who has knowledge of the ancient art of …” The instructor looked at Amos.

  “Jim Gots Yu.”

  “Yes, well, I’d like you to give him your full attention.”

  Amos jumped on the mat before Dunc could stop him. When the class was finished bowing, Amos bent from the waist and bowed back grandly with one hand in the air, then strode to the center of the mat.

  The room was silent. Amos threw his shoulders back, hooked his thumbs in his belt and began, “My honorable teacher, the great … Meow Say Tongue, made me promise that I would never show these sacred moves to anyone except the truly dedicated.” His eyes narrowed and he looked into each face around the room. “If there are those among you who are not true believers, I have no choice but to ask you to leave.”

  Dunc rolled his eyes.

  No one left.

  “Please watch carefully.” Amos kicked forward with his right leg. Then he kicked backward. Then he jumped around in a circle. “All right, class. Now it’s your turn.”

  Amos walked around, rubbing his hands together and watching. “Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about.…”

  “Oh brother,” Dunc muttered under his breath. “He’s got them doing the Hokey Pokey.”

  Dunc was waiting outside the dressing room when Amos finally came through the door. “What took you so long?”

  “Autographs. I could hardly get away, they’re all so crazy about me.”

  Dunc shook his head. “You’re amazing, Amos.”

  “I know. Sometimes I even amaze myself. Who would have thought that I had this incredible ability? I’m thinking of starting my own studio when we get home.”

  Dunc looked at him. “Amos, you made the whole thing up.”

  “What did he make up?” Tiffany walked up behind them.

  Amos coughed. “It’s not important. Do you want me to call a cab?”

  Tiffany followed him out to the sidewalk. “It’s a nice day. Why don’t we walk?”

  Dunc saw a powder-blue Cadillac whip into a parking spot up the street. His eyes widened. “Everybody act casual.”

  Amos looked around. “What’s the matter?”

  “It’s them. The man and woman from apartment thirty-five-B.”

  They watched the redhead go into a department store with a sign above the door that said BERTINELLY’S FINE CLOTHES AND JEWELRY.

  Amos made a face. “It’s a free country, you know. Going shopping wasn’t a crime last time I checked.”

  “Amos is right.” Tiffany moved down the sidewalk. “It’s a free country. Let’s follow her and see what she’s up to.”

  Amos groaned. “It isn’t fair. One Sherlock Holmes is enough for anybody. Why do I have to get stuck with two of them?”

  Dunc pulled him down the street. “Come on, Amos. We might be missing something.”

  “You’re breaking my heart.”

  When they got to the door, Tiffany stopped. “We need a plan. I know—if anyone asks, we’re looking for a gift for my mother’s birthday.”

  Dunc and Amos nodded and followed her inside. The store obviously catered to the more affluent people in town. The floors were carpeted, and glass chandeliers hung from the ceiling.

  A saleswoman met them just inside the door. “May I help you—children?” She put her nose in the air.

  Amos spoke first. “We’re buying a gift.”

  “Ahhh.” The woman seemed bored.

  “It’s for our great-aunt Gertrude—rest her soul.”

  The woman looked at him. “You’re buying a present for a dead person?”

  “Have you got a problem with that?”

  “Well, I … no, of course not.”

  “Good.” Amos moved to the jewelry counter. “Because she likes diamonds—big diamonds.”

  The woman led Amos to a glass showcase. Tiffany and Dunc pretended to look at the cashmere sweaters a few feet away. The redhead wasn’t anywhere in sight.

  From the back dressing room an elderly woman with bright green eyes tottered by, carrying a large alligator bag.

  They watched her go out the door, get into the blue cadillac, and drive off.

  A frantic saleswoman ran up to the counter. “Call the police! Someone just stole several expensive outfits and a diamond necklace!”

  The clerk behind the counter dialed the number. “Do you have a description of the thief?”

  The saleswoman seemed confused. “A nice-looking woman with long red hair went in to try on some clothes. She was in there such a long time I went to check on her. But when I opened the door, she had completely disappeared.”

  Dunc grabbed Amos. “We better go now.”

  “But what about Great-aunt Gertrude?”

  “Amos.”

  “I’m coming.”

  “It has to be. How else could they have done it?” Dunc studied the window across the courtyard. “Don’t you think it’s strange that we never see the two women together?”

  “I think you’re out of your mind,” Amos muttered. “We’ve been watching that window for days. If there was anything going on, we’d know it.”

  “I’m telling you, Amos. The older lady and the redhead are the same person. They have to be.”

  “I’ve got it.” Tiffany burst in the door. “The librarian was very helpful. I only had to go back a few copies to one of last year’s papers. Listen: ‘Police have arrived at a dead end in their search for a cunning thief who is seemingly able to change identities at will. This ability has earned her the nickname Chameleon. She is wanted in five states for grand theft and fraud. This woman is a master of disguise and could even be your next-door neighbor. If you have any information as to her whereabouts, notify the authorities immediately.’ ”

  “Well, I guess that takes care of that,” Amos said. “If you think the redhead is the Chameleon, call the police and let them take care of it.”

  Dunc adjusted the telescope. “We’re going to do that, Amos. Just as soon as we have some solid proof to give them.” He looked at Tiffany. “Did you get it?”

  She nodded. “It wasn’t easy. Grimes hardly ever leaves the front area.” She held up a key card.

  “What are you two up to now?” Amos eyed them suspiciously.

  “I asked Tiffany to sort of borrow Grimes’s passkey so we could get into thirty-five-B and take a look around.”

  “We can’t break into that lady’s apartment.”

  “Sure we can, Amos.” Tiffany sat down beside him. “We’ve got it all worked out. I’ll watch the front entrance. When I see her, I’ll phone Dunc, who will be waiting in the fourth-floor lobby. Then he’ll run down and knock on the apartment door three times as a warning.”

  “Hold it. If you’re at the entrance and Dunc is by the lobby phone, who’s going to search the apartment?”

  They both looked at him.

  Amos held up his hand. “No way. Forget it. Did you see the size of that blond guy? He could squash me with one hand. It’s absolutely out of the question.”

  “We understand, Amos. Don’t we, Tiffany?”

  Tiffany nodded. “Perfectly. Of course, you might be giving up the chance of a lifetime.”

  “I know,” Amos snorted. “The chance of having my fa
ce flattened or swallowing all my teeth.”

  Tiffany went on, “I was just thinking about what a hero you’d be when you got home. You know, if you were responsible for the capture of one of the world’s most elusive criminals. That girl Dunc told me about—Melissa—she’d probably go nuts. But I’ll understand if you’d rather not.”

  Amos sat up. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it. I just said it would be rough.”

  Dunc winked at Tiffany. “Okay, here’s the plan.…”

  Dunc waved to Amos from the end of the hall. Amos took a deep breath, inserted the passkey, and opened the door. The apartment had about the same layout as Tiffany’s, except there were no pictures or personal items anywhere. It almost looked as if no one lived there.

  Amos crept past the kitchen and down the hall. The first bedroom door was open. A weight set stood in the corner, and a couple of suitcases were waiting by the door.

  Amos made his way to the next bedroom. He opened the door and reached for the light switch. When he did, he touched a cold hand.

  He tried to scream but it came out as a squeak. Then he noticed that the hand was attached to the arm of a mannequin. The room was full of them, all wearing different wigs and clothes. A large table stood in one corner with plastic faces, wig stands, and different kinds of makeup spread out across the top.

  Amos was trying to decide what Dunc would want him to take for evidence when he spotted the alligator purse by the closet. He snapped it open. Inside was a sparkling diamond necklace.

  He put the purse on his arm and started out of the room. Then he saw it—a nose with a wart on the end sitting on the makeup table.

  Amos folded his arms and thought about it. “It would serve the two of them right if I slipped out of here and they wound up watching this room all night.”

  Using some gooey plastic glue, he pasted on the nose. In the top drawer of the makeup table he found eyebrows and lips. The bottom drawer had moles, ears, and scars. He pasted on fuzzy black eyebrows, fat red lips, and big floppy ears. When he was through with his face, he chose a short black wig. He barely had it in place when he heard the front door opening.