Amos and the Chameleon Caper

by Gary Paulsen

  Someone walked down the hall and opened the bedroom door.

  “Amos, are you in here?”

  “Sure, Dunc. Right behind you.”

  Dunc turned. Amos was standing beside the mannequins holding the purse.

  Dunc touched his face. “Amos, is that you?”

  “How do you like the new look?” Amos grinned.

  “You mean you’ve been in here playing all this time? I was getting worried that something had happened to you.”

  Amos tried to pull the nose off. It was stuck. “I wasn’t playing. I was … experimenting.”

  Dunc looked around. “Look at all this stuff. It looks like the backstage of a theater.”

  Amos pulled at one of his oversized ears. “Can you give me a hand here, Dunc?”

  Dunc opened the closet. It was full of expensive clothes, paintings, and jewelry. “You’ve done great work, Amos. There’s enough stuff here to put the Chameleon away for life.”

  “Yeah, sure. Say, could you help me with these lips? I can’t seem to get them—”

  “Shhh!” Dunc held his finger up. “I hear something.”

  The front door of the apartment opened again, and they heard voices.

  “It’s them,” Dunc whispered and scrambled inside the closet. “Hide!”

  Amos moved behind the mannequins and froze.

  The bedroom door opened. “I’ll get it for you, Wanda.” The big man with the mustache sauntered into the room and looked around. He scratched his head. “There it is.” He moved to Amos and pulled the purse off his arm. The man frowned and gave him a closer look. “Boy, these disguises of yours are getting uglier and uglier.”

  “What’s that, George?” The redhead stepped into the room.

  “Nothing. I was just saying that maybe you need to lighten up on some of these getups. That one over there is the worst yet.”

  The woman looked at Amos. Her green eyes flashed. “You idiot. That’s not a dummy.”

  Amos’s feet started moving. He was running full blast toward the door. The problem was, he wasn’t going anywhere.

  The blond man held him in the air by the collar. “What you want me to do with him, Wanda?”

  The woman rested her chin in her hand and studied Amos. “Don’t I know you? Of course I do. You’re one of the boys from the bus station.” She half-smiled. “I never forget a face, you know. It’s my job.” She looked around the room. “Where’s your friend, the polite, nosy one?”

  The woman moved to the closet and threw open the doors. “Oh, now I’m disappointed. I thought surely you’d have more imagination than to hide in here.”

  Dunc shrugged. “You didn’t give us much warning. If you want to go back out, I’d be happy to try again.”

  George pulled Dunc out by the front of his shirt and held the two boys dangling in the air. “You want I should toss them out the window, Wanda?”

  “Now, George. Is that any way to treat someone as clever as these two?” Wanda tweaked Amos’s pretend nose. “You boys really should be proud of yourselves. No one has ever gotten this close to catching me before. It’s almost a shame you won’t be getting any of the credit.”

  “If you really feel that way about it,” Amos said, “you could—”

  “Shut up.” The big man shook him. “Let Wanda think or I’ll stuff you down the garbage disposal—a piece at a time.”

  Amos winced. “That won’t be necessary.”

  Wanda clapped her hands. “I’ve got the most delicious idea. Tie them up, George. We’re packing.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “We’ll pull one last job in this town—maybe rob a bank or something—and arrange it so these two get blamed. While they’re explaining, we’ll have plenty of time to get away.”

  George stuck out his lip. “It’d be easier to toss them.”

  Wanda patted him on the arm. “I know. Maybe next time. For now, be a dear and put them in the other room. I’ve got to get ready.”

  George sighed. “You’re the boss.”

  He carried them into the bedroom with the weight set and dropped them on the floor. Then he picked up two sets of heavy barbells and set one on Dunc’s throat and the other on Amos’s.

  George pointed his finger at them. “No funny business. You stay put till Wanda says different.” He pulled the door shut behind him.

  “Can you move?” Dunc asked.

  “I can hardly talk. How much do these things weigh, anyway?”

  “I’d say about three hundred pounds apiece.”

  Amos shifted so that his Adam’s apple didn’t hit the barbell every time he spoke. “I don’t suppose you have a backup plan?”

  “I didn’t exactly figure on this.”

  “Great. We’ll be the youngest bank robbers in history. I wonder if Melissa will wait for me.”

  The door burst open and cameras started flashing.

  “Dunc, are you all right?” Tiffany knelt down beside them. “When you didn’t answer the phone, I got worried and called the police.”

  “What about me?” Amos squirmed underneath the barbell.

  “Amos?” Tiffany pulled his wig off. “What are you doing in that disguise?”

  “It’s a long story. If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind asking one of those police officers to get these things off us?”

  A reporter took one end of the barbell that was on Amos, and a policewoman lifted the other. Then they did the same for Dunc. The two boys stood up.

  Dunc rubbed his throat. “Thanks.” He looked at Tiffany. “Did they get the crooks?” He ran to the hall and saw a policeman snap handcuffs on George and lead him down the hall. “Where’s Wanda—the Chameleon?”

  The policewoman shook her head. “Sorry, son, when we got here she was gone. Don’t feel too bad, though. Thanks to you kids, we recovered several thousand dollars’ worth of stolen goods.”

  Dunc scratched his head. “Gone? How’s that possible? She was here the whole time. We never heard her leave.”

  “The only people here when we broke in were the big guy and you two boys—oh, and the cleaning lady. But she’s gone now.”

  Dunc and Amos looked at each other. “The cleaning lady!”

  “It’s too bad you guys have to go home. I can’t remember when I’ve had so much fun.”

  Dunc gave his suitcase to the man behind the ticket counter. “We had a great time too, Tiffany, but school starts Monday, so I guess we better get back.”

  “I don’t care if I never go home.” Amos slumped in his chair.

  “What’s wrong, Amos? Dunc and I gave you all the credit for finding the jewels and stuff. They even put your picture in the paper. You’ll be a hero when you get home.”

  “Some hero. I saw that picture. I looked like Dopey from the Seven Dwarfs. Melissa won’t even know it’s me.”

  “That reminds me.” Tiffany touched his face. “Does it still hurt where we had to use the kitchen knife to pry your nose off?”

  “Only when someone touches it.”

  “Well, here’s our bus.” Dunc took the tickets out of his pocket and moved to the door. “Write and let us know how you like Washington.”

  “I’ll do that. Maybe you guys can come up there and see me next year.” Tiffany waved at them until they went through the door to where the bus was waiting.

  Dunc stepped up into the bus and stopped so suddenly that Amos ran into him. “Hey, watch it,” Amos said. “Don’t forget that my face hurts.”

  Dunc stared at the bus driver. She had bright red hair and green eyes. She winked at him, pulled the door shut, and started the engine.

  “Find a seat, boys—it’s gonna be a long ride.”

  Be sure to join Dunc and Amos in these other Culpepper Adventures:

  The Case of the Dirty Bird

  When Dunc Culpepper and his best friend, Amos Binder, first see the parrot in a pet store, they’re not impressed—it’s smelly, scruffy, and missing half its feathers. They’re only slightly impres
sed when they learn that the parrot speaks four languages, has outlived ten of its owners, and is probably 150 years old. But when the bird starts mouthing off about buried treasure, Dunc and Amos get pretty excited. Let the amateur sleuthing begin!

  Dunc’s Doll

  Dunc and his accident-prone friend Amos are up to their old sleuthing habits once again. This time they’re after a band of doll thieves! When a doll that once belonged to Charles Dickens’s daughter is stolen from an exhibition at the local mall, the two boys put on their detective gear and do some serious snooping. Will a vicious watchdog keep them from retrieving the valuable missing doll?

  Culpepper’s Cannon

  Dunc and Amos are researching the Civil War cannon that stands in the town square when they find a note inside telling them about a time portal. Entering it through the dressing room of La Petite, a women’s clothing store, the boys find themselves in downtown Chatham on March 8, 1862—the day before the historic clash between the Monitor and the Merrimac. But the Confederate soldiers they meet mistake them for Yankee spies. Will they make it back to the future in one piece?

  Dunc Gets Tweaked

  Dunc and Amos meet up with a new buddy named Lash when they enter the radical world of skateboard competition. When some-body “cops”—steals—Lash’s prototype skateboard, the boys are determined to get it back. After all, Lash is about to shoot for a totally rad world’s record! Along the way they learn a major lesson: Never kiss a monkey!

  Dunc’s Halloween

  Dunc and Amos are planning the best route to get the most candy on Halloween. But their plans change when Amos is slightly bitten by a werewolf. He begins scratching himself and chasing UPS trucks—he’s become a werepuppy!

  Dunc Breaks the Record

  Dunc and Amos have a small problem when they try hang gliding—they crash in the wilderness. Luckily, Amos has read a book about a boy who survived in the wilderness for fifty-four days. Too bad Amos doesn’t have a hatchet. Things go from bad to worse when a wild man holds the boys captive. Can anything save them now?

  Dunc and the Flaming Ghost

  Dunc’s not afraid of ghosts, although Amos is sure that the old Rambridge house is haunted by the ghost of Blackbeard the Pirate. Then the best friends meet Eddie, a meek man who claims to be impersonating Blackbeard’s ghost so that he can live in the house in peace. But if that’s true, why are flames shooting from his mouth?

  Amos Gets Famous

  Deciphering a code they find in a library book, Amos and Dunc stumble onto a burglary ring. The burglars’ next target is the home of Melissa, the girl of Amos’s dreams (who doesn’t even know he’s alive). Amos longs to be a hero to Melissa, so nothing will stop him from solving this case—not even a mind-boggling collision with a jock, a chimpanzee, and a toilet.

  Dunc and Amos Hit the Big Top

  To impress Melissa, Amos decides to perform on the trapeze at the visiting circus. Look out below! But before Dunc can talk him out of his plan, the two stumble across a mystery behind the scenes at the circus. Now Amos is in double trouble. What’s really going on under the big top?

  Dunc’s Dump

  Camouflaged as piles of rotting trash, Dunc and Amos are sneaking around the town dump. Dunc wants to find out who is polluting the garbage at the dump with hazardous and toxic waste. Amos just wants to impress Melissa. Can either of them succeed?

  Dunc and the Scam Artists

  Dunc and Amos are at it again. Some older residents of their town have been bilked by con artists, and the two boys want to look into these crimes. They meet elderly Betsy Dell, whose nasty nephew Frank gives the boys the creeps. Then they notice some soft dirt in Ms. Dell’s shed, and a shovel. Does Frank have something horrible in store for Dunc and Amos?

  Dunc and Amos and the Red Tattoos

  Dunc and Amos head for camp and face two weeks of fresh air—along with regulations, demerits, KP, and inedible food. But where these two best friends go, trouble follows. They overhear a threat against the camp director and discover that camp funds have been stolen. Do these crimes have anything to do with the tattoo of the exotic red flower that some of the camp staff have on their arms?

  Dunc’s Undercover Christmas

  It’s Christmastime, and Dunc, Amos, and Amos’s cousin T.J. hit the mall for some serious shopping. But when the seasonal magic is threatened by disappearing presents, and Santa Claus himself is a prime suspect, the boys put their celebration on hold and go undercover in perfect Christmas disguises! Can the sleuthing trio protect Santa’s threatened reputation and catch the impostor before he strikes again?

  The Wild Culpepper Cruise

  When Amos wins a “Why I Love My Dog” contest, he and Dunc are off on the Caribbean cruise of their dreams! But there’s something downright fishy about Amos’s suitcase, and before they know it, the two best friends wind up with more high-seas adventure than they bargained for. Can Dunc and Amos figure out who’s out to get them and salvage what’s left of their vacation?

  Dunc and the Haunted Castle

  When Dunc and Amos are invited to spend a week in Scotland, Dunc can already hear the bagpipes a-blowin’. But when the boys spend their first night in an ancient castle, it isn’t bagpipes they hear. It’s moans! Dunc hears groaning coming from inside his bedroom walls. Amos notices that the eyes of a painting follow him across the room! Could the castle really be haunted? Local legend has it that the castle’s former lord wanders the ramparts at night in search of his head! Team up with Dunc and Amos as they go ghostbusting in the Scottish Highlands!

  Cowpokes and Desperadoes

  Git along, little dogies! Dunc and Amos are bound for Uncle Woody Culpepper’s Santa Fe cattle ranch for a week of fun. But when they overhear a couple of cowpokes plotting to do Uncle Woody in, the two sleuths are back on the trail of some serious action! Who’s been making off with all the prize cattle? Can Dunc and Amos stop the rustlers in time to save the ranch?

  Prince Amos

  When their fifth-grade class spends a weekend interning at the state capitol, Dunc and Amos find themselves face-to-face with Amos’s walking double—Prince Gustav, Crown Prince of Moldavia! His Royal Highness is desperate to uncover a traitor in his ranks. And when he asks Amos to switch places with him, Dunc holds his breath to see what will happen next. Can Amos pull off the impersonation of a lifetime?

  Coach Amos

  Amos and Dunc have their hands full when their school principal asks them to coach a local T-ball team. For one thing, nobody on the team even knows first base from left field, and the season opener is coming right up. And then there’s that sinister-looking gangster driving by in his long black limo and making threats. Can Dunc and Amos fend off screaming tots, nervous mothers, and the mob, and be there when the ump yells “Play ball”?

  Amos and the Alien

  When Amos and his best friend, Dunc, have a close encounter with an extraterrestrial named Girrk, Dunc thinks they should report their findings to NASA. But Amos has other plans. He not only promises to help Girrk find a way back to his planet, he invites him to hide out under his bed! Then weird things start to happen—Scruff, the Binders’ dog, can’t move, Amos scores a game-winning touchdown, and Dunc knows Girrk is behind Amos’s new powers. What’s the mysterious alien really up to?

  Dunc and Amos Meet the Slasher

  Why is mild-mannered Amos dressed in leather, slicking back his hair, strutting around the cafeteria, and going by a phony name? Could it be because of that new kid, Slasher, who’s promised to eat Amos for lunch? Or has Amos secretly gone undercover? Amos and his pal Dunc have some hot leads and are close to cracking a stolen stereo racket, but Dunc is worried Amos has taken things too far!

  Dunc and the Greased Sticks of Doom

  Five … four … three … two … Olympic superstar Francesco Bartoli is about to hurl himself down the face of a mountain in another attempt to clinch the world slalom speed record. Cheering fans and snapping cameras are everywhere. But someone is out to stop him,
and Dunc thinks he knows who it is. Can Dunc get to the gate in time to save the day? Will Amos survive longer than fifteen minutes on the icy slopes? Join best friends Dunc Culpepper and Amos Binder as they take an action-packed winter ski vacation filled with fun, fame, and high-speed high jinks.

  Amos’s Killer Concert Caper

  Amos is desperate. He’s desperate for two tickets to the romantic event of his young life—the Road Kill concert! He’ll do anything to get them because he heard from a friend of a friend of a friend of Melissa Hansen that she’s way into Road Kill. But when he enlists the help of his best friend, Dunc, he winds up with more than he bargained for—backstage, with a mystery to solve. Somebody’s trying to make Road Kill live up to its name. Can Dunc and Amos find out who and keep the music playing?

  Amos Gets Married

  Everybody knows Amos Binder is crazy in love with Melissa Hansen. Only Melissa hasn’t given any indication that she even knows Amos exists as a life-form. That is, until now. Suddenly things with Melissa are different. A wave, a wink—an affectionate “snookems”? Can this really be Melissa … and Amos? Dunc is determined to get to the bottom of it all, but who can blame Amos if his feet don’t touch the ground?

  Amos Goes Bananas

  Amos has more than a monkey on his back. It’s a gorilla. Her name is Louise—and she’s in love with him. Dunc isn’t much help. He’s convinced Louise is the key to solving a really big-time case involving some assassins and a respected senator. Who will prevail? Dunc? The assassins? Or Louise?