Until the Stars Fall From the Sky

by Mary Crawford

  Jeff starts to let out a celebratory whoop until his mother and I both level reprimanding looks in his direction. Immediately, he lowers his voice to a rumbly whisper and settles for a fist bump, “That’s so amazing! I get to take my girls home.”

  I don’t want to burst his bubble, but there is always a voice in the back of my head that reminds me that this arrangement is not forever and as much as we’d like it to be true, these girls are not really ours. Still, I guess for tonight it won’t hurt to live the fairytale for just a little while longer without reality intruding. “I know. It’s going to be great. Still, we should really get home and see if there’s anything else we can get done before tomorrow.”

  I take Becca back to the nursery and wrap her in her soft baby blanket. The nurse gave me a huge grin and two thumbs up. When I go back to the room, Jeff is tucking Mindy into bed. He kisses her forehead and carefully tucks the blankets around her as he whispers, “Good night, Princess Mindy. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Mindy nods sleepily as she says, “Grummy, I’m not sad you’re my grandma anymore. ‘Cause you’re Mr. Jeff’s mommy and I love Mr. Jeff and Miss Kiera. I’m sorry I got ascared.”

  Gwendolyn swallows hard and kisses Mindy on the cheek and murmurs, “It’s okay, honey. I understand. Have the sweetest of dreams, Mindy Mouse.”

  As Jeff drives us home in his mom’s Cadillac, my panic sets in once again. “French Toast, Jeff! I’m not even sure if I have diapers yet. What about binkies and blankets? What kind of formula does she drink?” I fret, “I don’t even know what size shoes Mindy wears. What if she hates our house? I don’t really have much for a six year old.” I draw a shuddering breath.

  Jeff reaches for my hand and kisses it as he gently chides me, “Pip, please breathe. We’ve got a whole army of folks working on this. We’ll figure it out, babe. We’ve got diapers and binkies because I bought two kinds before I came over today. The hospital will send Becca home with some. If we don’t have shoes for Mindy, she’ll have a good time shopping.”

  “You’re right,” I concede. “I’m not sure why I’m so anxious about this. I’m sure it’s going to be fine.”

  Gwendolyn replies from the backseat, “You’re anxious because as unconventional as this is, those kids are already the children of your heart and you’re reacting like every first time parent about to bring their children home from the hospital.”

  Children of my heart. I’ve felt a pull toward Mindy since the first time I saw her sitting in the play room — unlike any other child I’ve ever helped — and Becca feels like mine. Is it possible that we fall in love with the souls of our children like we do our mates?

  “Thank you for articulating exactly what I feel, Gwendolyn,” I respond. “I feel like it doesn’t matter what some piece of paper says; those babies are mine and I’ll fight tooth and nail to keep them.”

  Jeff kisses the back of my hand and declares, “Remember Warrior Momma, I’m right by your side until…”

  I squeeze his hand. I wish we weren’t in the car so I could really show him what his support means. “I know, my PC, you’re the reason I have the courage to take this on. I love you and you’re going to be the best dad.”

  “He is going to make a spectacular dad. There was never any doubt in my mind,” Gwendolyn comments. “Lucky for you, I also like to outrageously spoil my grandkids. I got together with all my friends and we threw you a little unofficial baby shower. We may have gotten a little carried away. It’s so much fun to shop for little girls. I think you’ll find you have most of the stuff you’ll need.”

  I gasp as my shoulders slump with relief. “Thank you,” I stammer, wiping away tears. “I don’t even know how to begin to express my gratitude for all you’ve done.”

  “Nonsense sweetie. It was good for those girls to spend money on something besides Botox and teeth whitening for a change,” she quips.

  I disappeared into my own thoughts for a bit as Jeff skillfully drove us home while he chatted with his mom about his new job. Geez, how selfish can I be? It completely slipped my mind. “Jeff, are you even getting a chance to study?” I ask abruptly.

  “Yes, Pip, I’m okay so far,” he answers, “it’s just been orientation for the 1L’s. I’ve got audio copies of my casebooks on my iPhone. I have been listening the whole time I was cleaning and painting. I’ll do some reading after you go to bed.”

  “I still have to do my stupid math class too,” I lament. “How are we going to fit it all in?”

  As he parked the car, Jeff leaned over to give me a thorough, very distracting kiss. “We’ll do it like every other parent on the planet; we’ll tackle one obstacle at a time. Come on, Pip, let’s see what we have to overcome,” he reassures me.

  From the look of my front porch, a Toy’s R Us has exploded at my house. There are boxes of every size shape and description stacked up there. As we peer through the doorway, Tara spots us. “They’re here!” she shouts. “Do you want to see Becca’s or Mindy’s room first?” she asks. I notice that there is a small computer desk with a laptop on it and a new shelving unit with baskets in the den.

  I clutch her hand in excitement as I utter, “Becca’s please, I want to save your room until last.”

  Tara smothers a bark of laughter as she replies, “As you wish, but you need to know, I think Donda may have outdone me on the mural. Her work is masterful.”

  Donda snorts behind Tara and retorts, “Funny, I was thinking the same thing about your art.”

  Heather takes control of my chair. “Cover your eyes,” she orders. “Trust me, it’s so worth it.

  I close my eyes as she wheels me into the room. To my relief, the paint smell has dissipated a lot.

  “Okay, Look!” Heather is practically bouncing with excitement.

  As I open my eyes, I can see why she had me cover my eyes. It’s breathtaking. They’ve painted the room a pale yellow and the ceiling a pale apricot. In the corner of the room Donda has painted a gnarled old oak tree with 3D letters of the alphabet made to look like they’re made from branches. Scattered across the wall, are patches of meadow with ‘wishy’ flowers, delicate wild flowers and daisies. In the middle are two old fashioned bears dressed in Victorian finery making a wish.

  “Oh Donda, it’s perfect. I couldn’t even dream of anything so amazing,” I gush profusely.

  “Don’t mention it,” she insists, modestly. “It was fun.”

  “If this is your idea of fun, you’re welcome to come back and do my whole house,” I state emphatically.

  “Seriously?” she asks, looking doubtful. “You would actually let me do this to your entire house?”

  “In a heartbeat,” I answer unequivocally.

  “Wow, because this is seriously the most fun I’ve had in ages.” she replies. “Did you see what your dad did with the crib?”

  I wheel over to the crib and I notice my dad has added a top rail and made the side rail of the crib work a bit like a sliding glass door so that I can access the crib from the side. Next to the crib is a fold down changing station, built like a murphy bed. Sure enough, hanging next to the changing table is a whole box of diapers and wipes in a cream-colored eyelet holder. I wander over to the small armoire we’re using as her closet and find it stuffed to the brim.

  I spin around taking one last look as I mutter, “I have the most amazing friends ever. This is perfect.”

  I zip into Mindy’s room. I thought I had an idea of what it might look like because I helped with it earlier. It still looks a tad off because the furniture is pulled away from the wall to allow the paint to dry, but it’s pretty easy to envision the finished product now.

  In the center of the room, there’s a canopy bed with purple gauze drapes. Along two corners of the room, Tara has painted a fanciful forest with colorful flowers. In the opposite corner is a portrait of Mindy and Becca as fairies playing with fireflies in moonlight. Tara has cleverly spelled Mindy’s name out in stars on the ceiling that contrast with the deep blues and
purples of the cloudscape.

  Tara walks up beside me as she tries to gauge my reaction. “I am sorry I didn’t follow the plan exactly. Your dad brought me every color of the rainbow and I went a little crazy with the airbrush. If you hate it, I can paint over it,” she offers self-consciously.

  I look up at Tara, my jaw slack with disbelief as I respond, “Are you kidding me? Hate it? Not a chance. I love it so much that I don’t even have words to tell you how much. How did you even know what the girls look like?”

  “Your dad recorded the video presentation at the emergency hearing and let me watch it. I developed my sketches from there. Can I just say? I want to find a guy who will braid magic ribbons in my hair. That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. Why can’t I get that lucky?”

  “I don’t know Tara,” I reply. “You never know what’s going to happen. All I had to do was go jump in a lake.”

  Gwendolyn comes into the room and gasps as she declares, “It’s positively magical in here! Mindy is going to love it.” She walks over to the cherry wood dresser and looks in the drawers. “Oh good! It looks like they found the kids’ clothes. I took the liberty of washing some of them up in Ivory flakes for you in case the girls are allergic to perfumes. She walks me over to Mindy’s closet and makes a gesture like Vanna White as she quips, “This is what happens when you tell a bunch of rich, bored housewives that a six year old and her baby sister are having a fashion emergency,” I look around in complete shock. The closet is filled, seemingly to the rafters with every manner of clothing in every color of the rainbow.

  “Wow, this looks like a movie set,” I respond when I finally overcome my shock. “Do they realize she’s entering the first grade and not a beauty pageant?”

  Jeff walks up behind me and puts his arms around my shoulders. “Sorry to miss the big reveal, but I was helping your dad put together some more bookshelves.” He looks around and whistles in admiration. “Well, Mom, you and the ladies group went all out,” he observes, “But, don’t you think the 3 foot tall Victorian doll house is just a tad too much?”

  Gwendolyn laughs as she replies, “What’s the point of having a little bit of money, if you can’t splurge on your grandkids every now and then? I did warn you that I went a bit overboard.”

  Jeff looks like someone kicked him in the gut as he asks, “You mean Kevin’s money?”

  “Yes, in a round-about way. He used to try to bribe me to be quiet by ‘treating’ me to spa vacations. They were outrageously expensive, so after the first couple of trips, I learned how to do my own facials. I stayed with a girlfriend from high school and pocketed the difference. Over 20 years, it slowly but surely added up and as the daughter of an investment banker, I made it work for me. Not to mention that ‘my little hobby’ — as Kevin likes to call it — is pretty successful since we’ve put the website up.”

  I smile at her and give her a high five as I cheer, “Go, Gwendolyn! Way to stick it to the weasel.”

  Jeff sighs as he walks over to his mom, “That’s great Mom. I’m really proud of you. I just wish I’d have known so I wouldn’t worry so much about you,” he chides gently.

  “I wish I could have told you,” she explains. “Though, if you had known anything about it, he would have used it as a weapon against you kids and I couldn’t risk that. I had to keep you guys safe at all costs.”

  Jeff balls up his fists at his sides as he hisses, “I want to kill that — ,” he looks at me and pauses a beat — “butterfly.”

  I poke him in the chest, as I exclaim, “Not a chance in Hershey’s Bars, Buster! You’re supposed to be putting people in jail, not going there yourself.”

  Gwendolyn looks back and forth between us as if we’ve lost our minds. “What on earth are you guys talking about?” she asks.

  I start to giggle and then I snort — very unattractively. Of course, since I’ve just met his mom today and I’m trying to make a good impression, my body decides this is a good time for me to resemble a highway flare.

  Jeff chuckles as he answers his mom, “That’s right, you haven’t been introduced to the Ashley method of cussing. You should try it, Mom. It’s very liberating to be cussing a blue streak and not have anyone know but you.”

  Gwendolyn shakes her head in bemusement, “Well, it’s a good thing you’re both a little nutty,” she observes. “You’ll be well suited.” She suddenly yawns and stretches her arms over her head. “Well, I’m exhausted. I’m going to get Donda and go to the hotel.”

  “You have a hotel room?” I ask, feeling redundant the minute the words left my mouth.

  “Yes, dear. I’m not stupid. I know that Kevin is likely waiting for me at home. Besides, I got a screaming good deal on Groupon,” she teases with a grin. “Now you two go enjoy your last night as non-parents and do all the things I probably did — only do them better,” she adds with a wink as she leaves the room.

  I laugh at the outrageous suggestion, but apparently Jeff didn’t think it was so funny since he looks like he just sucked on a crate full of lemons. I elbow him in the ribs as I say, “I’m just guessing here, PC, but I think she meant that last part as a joke. Not that all of it isn’t pretty solid advice,” I tease.

  Jeff groans and shakes his head as he whispers in my ear. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my mom sharing the space I reserve in my brain for sexy thoughts of you.”

  I turn to him and kiss him, gently at first and then I deepen the kiss. As I reluctantly pull away, I retort, “Why PC, you always say the sweetest things. However, I think it’s pretty natural for parents to take an interest in their kids being happy. I know my dad has had an unhealthy interest in my relationship status since I developed my first crush in the third grade. I think he’s afraid I’ll end up all alone like him.”

  A strange look crosses Jeff’s face and he suddenly looks like a kid that’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Before I can ponder what it might mean, Jeff kisses me lightly as he says, “Let’s go check out what The Wish Patrol has done to our house if you’re done looking around in here.”

  “Jeff, this is all so far beyond anything I pictured that I think I could look around for a week and not see it all. Did you notice that the dragonfly wings are made up of hearts and Mindy has feather pillows on her bed?” I reply, as tears threaten.

  “Pip, please don’t cry. This is a happy thing,” he says as he wheels me toward Becca’s room. Someone has added a yellow gingham quilt and a mobile to the crib. In the corner is a small bookcase lined with board books and Steiff bears.

  “Who buys a baby $200 bears?” I ask, flabbergasted.

  “This one has my mom and her friends written all over it.” Jeff answers with a sardonic grin.

  “Well, I hope she used Kevin’s credit card,” I remark. “I hope you don’t mind if I put these away for safekeeping and substitute some Gund bears.”

  Jeff nods as he agrees, “Sounds like a plan. Moving on to the den — “

  As he pushes me through the kitchen, I see several clean baby bottles on the kitchen counter next to a sterilizer and a bottle warmer. Thank goodness for friends, because I never would have thought about half of this stuff.

  In the den is a handy rocking chair and ottoman sitting next to a little stand with brightly colored burping rags and several novelty binkies with cute characters on them. On the floor sits a baby swing, Pack-n-Play and walker. It looks like someone bought out a baby boutique. A high backed booster seat with five point restraints and an infant seat are sitting in the middle of the room waiting to be put in the van. Both were wrapped in plastic and clearly brand new.

  “PC,” I acknowledge with a shaky breath, “I think everything is done. I still don’t fully understand how — but I think it is. I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you so much. Where is everyone so I can thank them too?”

  “I think they all went to pizza. They’ll be back tomorrow for one last deep clean and let’s face it, they all want to see Mindy’s reaction when
she comes home,” Jeff replies.

  “I’m ready to go to bed. It’s been a really long day. Are you coming to bed or are you going to study?” I ask.

  A slow smile spreads across Jeff’s face and he gives me a look that is positively predatory. He moves my hair off of my shoulder and kisses my collarbone, sending a wave of desire to my core as he murmurs in my ear, “I think you can anticipate my answer to that, my love.”

  I have to catch my breath and pinch myself. A few short weeks ago, I was admiring him on the beach, tonight we’ll be going to bed together and tomorrow we’ll be forming a family of sorts. It’s all so surreal. Part of me is so petrified I can barely breathe, but a larger part is more settled and at peace than I’ve ever been. For the first time since I can remember, all the parts of me that never seemed to fit or make sense in the world now suddenly do.

  Jeff studies my expression with concern, “Pip?” he inquires with a frown, “did I scare you?”

  “No!” I hasten to reassure him, “I was just thinking about how much our lives have changed since I first saw you and how much I love you.” I pull on the tail of his t-shirt until he bends down so that I can kiss him. I start with light kisses along his jawline and then I suck on his bottom lip scraping it lightly with my teeth.

  “Oh God, Pip!” he moans against my mouth, “I hope you’re not really all that tired.”

  In one swift motion, he lifts me to his chest. I can feel his abdominal muscles and biceps flex as he carries me down the hall as if I weigh as much as a feather instead of two third graders. “How can you still smell so good after working all day?” I ask as I rest my head on his shoulder.

  “I was able to grab a quick shower downstairs before we saw the girls,” Jeff admits with a self-deprecating shrug.

  “Well, you smell yummy,” I reply. Geez Kier, way to sound super sexy. Ready to sign up for that subscription to Tiger Beat yet?

  I feel Jeff’s chest rumble with laughter as he responds, “Well Pip, considering I have dreams about the way you taste, I’d say the feeling is pretty mutual.”