Until the Stars Fall From the Sky

by Mary Crawford

  Jeff pulls back my covers and lays me down on the bed. Just so there is no confusion about the direction I would like things to go, I sit up slightly and pull my tank top over my head. By the look of shock on Jeff’s face, I don’t think he expected it would have a built in bra and that I was naked underneath.

  His nostrils flare and he draws in a deep breath as he mutters, “Baby, don’t tell me you’ve been wearing those skin tight 501’s with no panties for four hours and I’ve just now seen fit to notice.” He shakes his head in disbelief as he studies every detail of my body. My nipples pucker under his scrutiny.

  I blush as I admit, “I was in a really big hurry. I must have dropped some of my clothes on the way to the shower. I don’t usua — “

  Jeff places his finger over my lips. “Sh! Pip, I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” he chides. He shimmies my jeans down over my hips stopping to kiss the cascade of silver stars from my belly button ring and my hipbone. He pulls them over my feet and removes them completely. Jeff smiles when he sees my patch of pubic hair, “I knew there was nothing artificial about you,” he remarks.

  I flush with embarrassment as I reply in a distraught whisper, “Jeff — ”

  “Pip, did you think I was kidding when I said I find every inch of you to be the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen?” he murmurs.

  “Yes, umm, no,” I stammer. “Well, I didn’t think you meant everything, everything.”

  Jeff grins at me with a twinkle in his eyes as he says “Kiera Ashley, I love you — all the parts of you: the good, the bad and even parts you think are ugly. It’s all perfect to me.”

  I’m once again completely caught off guard by how easily he has burrowed through all of my defenses and seen past the funny, spunky positive woman that I portray to most people to find the awkward, embarrassed, almost socially backward person that I really am. Yet, this is what I spent half of my life dreaming of and praying for — a man that could see me for me and still love me. Everything I’ve always wanted is a heartbeat away. Am I brave enough to see myself the way he sees me? What seemed so easy to do all those years ago in my teenage fantasies is much harder as I lie here naked and exposed. What if he decides that he really wants normal after all? I can never be that woman for him.

  I run my hand through his hair and he pauses as I’ve interrupted the trail of kisses he was leaving down my thigh. He gazes at me, his eyes hot with desire. “You really mean it, don’t you?” I ask, trying not to squirm under his scorching gaze.

  Jeff reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear as he looks directly in my eyes and states emphatically, “Every single word.” He kisses me tenderly and adds, “and I mean them today, tomorrow and until.”

  I blink back tears and take a deep breath. Jeff’s expression tightens with alarm as he watches me. I place my hands along his temples and draw him closer for a kiss as I whisper, “I’m so glad to hear that, PC, because I want to hear those words forever.”

  I can hear Jeff exhale roughly in relief and he pulls away as he rips his t-shirt over his head and tosses it in the corner. Before I can blink, he removes his jeans. He pulls me up against him in a full body hug as he asks, “Got anything to take care of before we go to bed? Because I don’t plan to let you out for a while.”

  Reluctantly, I nod and he places me in my chair. After I finish taking care of business, washing my hands and brushing my teeth, I open my drawer so that I can put on my lip-gloss and brush my hair. I notice that there is a greeting card inside with my dad’s handwriting. As I open it up, a strip of seven extra large condoms falls out. I let out a surprised yelp of laughter, which brings Jeff running.

  Jeff rushes in, clearly shocked to see me in stiches over an innocuous looking greeting card with two little kids in vintage clothes holding hands on the front in tasteful sepia relief. Wordlessly, I hold up the condoms in one hand and the card in the other. I’m now laughing so hard that I can’t breathe and I think there might be a little snot leaking from my nose.

  Puzzled, Jeff takes the card and the condoms from me. He examines the expiration date and size, smiles and nods his approval. Next, he reads the card. At first, he blanches and then he appears to be embarrassed as he reads the card written in my dad’s distinct handwriting.

  Pipsqueak, I’m so proud of you. You picked just the kind of man I would have chosen for you. I like having grandkids, but two is a nice number. No need to work on making more right now. Have fun, but not too much fun. Never mind, you’re a big girl now; have as much fun as you like (but, remember the talk we had when you were 13).

  Love,

  The First Man in Your Life,

  Dad

  Jeff chuckles softly to himself as he remarks, “Umm, apparently my mom isn’t the only one with an interest in our sex lives.”

  I give a snort of laughter as I comment, “Lord help us if those two ever join forces.”

  Jeff gives me a speculative look as he replies, “Maybe it was just me, but I think your dad is a bit taken with my mom.”

  My eyes widen with surprise as I exclaim, “Oh good, you saw it too. I wondered if I was seeing things because my dad has been alone for so long. I think it’s adorable. Your mom needs a gentleman in her life.”

  Jeff smirks at me, “Oh sure, you think it’s cute now, but we’d be step siblings.”

  “Eww!” I shriek at him, laughing, “I can’t un-see that image in my head. It’s like a perverted Brady Bunch or something.”

  “Relax, Pip,” Jeff responds, laughing at my horrified expression, “I’m sure it’s just a bit of harmless flirting to make my mom feel better in a bad situation.” He holds up the strip of condoms and winks at me as he murmurs, “Speaking of which, I’d like to get back to flirting with you.”

  I run the hairbrush through my hair one last time and took a deep breath to steady my nerves. I know that women do this every day of the week with probably a lot less thought and anxiety and I feel really stupid for being nervous. It’s not even as if I’m a teenager and don’t know what I’m getting into. I’m the daughter of a trucker for Pete’s sake; I’ve heard sex described more ways than you can imagine. My dad would have an apoplexy if he knew how many of his “buddies” of all ages and persuasions have instructed me on the proper ways to keep a guy happy. Of course being a bored, curious teenager I paid very, very close attention. Yet, putting all of my theoretical knowledge into practice is a daunting prospect. What if Jeff is disappointed in me?

  I bravely smile up at him as I reply, “Sounds like a great idea to me.”

  I let out a shriek of surprise as Jeff suddenly grabs the push handles of my chair and pops me into a wheelie and begins sprinting down the hall toward the bedroom. As we reach the bed, he slides my body up his in a full body embrace. I can feel his body grow even more rigid as our bodies meld. He kisses me deeply using his tongue to stoke mine and tease a sensitive spot on the roof of my mouth. As he breaks away, we are both breathing erratically. “Are you nervous Pip?” Jeff inquires, observing me carefully.

  I blush and since I’m naked as the day I was born, it’s painfully obvious. “Well, I wasn’t quite as nervous as I was at first — until you brought it up. Now, I’m terrified,” I admit, hiding my face in my hands.

  “Kiera,” he admits gently, “I’m glad you’re nervous. I am too. I think it’s because it means something to both of us and we know it’s a big step. Still, I’m not worried about taking it. I’m not worried about whether I should be choosing you. I’m nervous about making things great for you.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief at his words. I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who feels the pressure. “I guess this will be a learning experience for both of us. I don’t want to be all dramatic or anything, but you know when you were kissing my thigh earlier? I can’t feel any of that,” I reveal as I shrug in frustration.

  Jeff places me in the middle of the mattress, pauses to set the strip of condoms on the nightstand, and sheds his boxers. He looks like a Greek statue with his
chiseled jaw line, sculpted muscles and proud, erect member jutting out. It’s a tad overwhelming to know that I inspire that response from a guy like him.

  Jeff walks over and locks the door. At my questioning look, he responds, “Too many years of having a bossy big sister and roommates to take chances. Besides, we’re going to have little ones running around; it’s never too early to get into the habit of protecting our private time.” He returns to the bed and boldly kisses the inside of my thigh as he whispers, “I’m sorry you can’t feel this because your skin is so soft it feels like rose petals as I brush my lips across it. I know I shouldn’t be selfish, but I want to kiss you everywhere even if you can’t feel it all because I can feel, smell and taste you. You are sexy and magnificent everywhere.”

  Something about Jeff’s words are deeply sensual. It feels like he is touching me with his words. I can easily imagine him placing a hot open mouth kiss on my clitoris and sucking gently. As the erotic image races through my brain. My breath catches and my hips roll.

  Jeff groans as he moves up my body to kiss a random group of freckles smattered across my rib cage, “My sexy Pip, your body might not know I’m touching you, but some circuits somewhere must be talking to your brain and working just fine because you are wonderfully hot and bothered in all the right places.”

  I blush and Jeff chuckles as he sees the flush spread across my pale skin. He kisses my earlobe as he whispers, “You have no idea how sexy I find that blush, Pip.” He moves to my collarbone, where he sucks lightly, “I was half in love with you before I had ever spoken to you just because of your smile and your blush.”

  I look at him in utter astonishment, as I exclaim in a bewildered voice, “No way!” Still, I’ve never forgotten that bizarre interaction on the boat. I’ve never experienced anything that intense in my life.

  Jeff smiles at me, his eyes full of emotion as he replies, “Yes way, Kiera. In so many ways, yes.”

  Wow, this is too overwhelming to think about right now. I’m on sensory and emotional overload. Every dream and fantasy I’ve ever had is coming true and it’s better than I could have ever imagined. The part of me that is so used to having those dreams crushed, wonders when the other shoe is going to fall. Still, a larger part of me wants to believe. Why not me?

  Jeff is tracing my furrowed brow with his fingertips as he gently probes, “Did I lose you, Pip?”

  “No,” I answer with an easy smile, “I just got lost in my head again. Don’t mind me. I analyze everything to death. Besides, we didn’t finish our exploration the other day and it’s still my turn.” I push Jeff onto his back.

  Jeff moans and exhales as he mutters, “Holy flaming soufflé balls, Pip, you must be trying to kill me.”

  I giggle at his creative language as I respond, “Well, umm, no. Actually, if I do it right, I intend to make you feel really good. Although, I have heard it can make a man feel as if he has died and gone to heaven.” I watch in amusement as the blankets that are already tented over his midsection rise even further. I wink at him as I quip, “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

  I study him for a bit and I decide to lay between his legs and drape his thighs over my shoulders if needed. After I position myself, I look up at him through my hair, which is wild by now, and ask, “Is this okay for you?”

  “Pip baby, it’s all good,” he instructs. “Go for it. Just be prepared for unscheduled eruptions. I’ve been hanging on by a thread for a while now.”

  I know the feeling. I feel like Jeff has created a craving for just his touch and nothing else works to sooth the need. I know the addiction is going to be so much worse after tonight. I pull the covers away and I’m surprised by how large Jeff looks. It’s a little unnerving from this angle. It’s dark purple and red with bulging veins. When I reach out to touch it, it twitches violently. I jump in reaction to the movement.

  “Does it hurt?” I ask, afraid I have already done something wrong. I knew there was a reason I’ve never done this. “I’m sorry. I totally suck at this.”

  “Pip, my love, you do not suck at this. That was merely my body’s response to your touch. I love you so much that my body goes a little berserk whenever I’m even in the same room with you, let alone having you touch me. So, if my Johnson gets a little over enthused at your presence, you’ll have to pardon his bad manners.”

  I grin at his nickname as I respond, “Okay, that’s good to know. Let me know if I ever hurt Johnson.”

  I reach out and grab the shaft of his penis. Much to my amazement, I can almost fit my other hand around the shaft as well. I know that my body will shift and change when I’m aroused, but Holy Hershey Bars he’s big. The texture is different than I imagined too. His skin is soft like velvet but the flesh is hot, hard and throbbing. As I pump his shaft with my hands, alternately squeezing and letting go, a drop of pre-cum appears. Without much thought I dart my tongue out to clean it off. This action provokes an immediate reaction from Jeff as he shudders and grits his teeth. Hmm, this may be fun. I swirl my tongue around the tip like an ice cream cone. Jeff gasps.

  Jeff bends his knee and plants his foot near my head. As I draw the throbbing head into my mouth and lightly suck, his toes curl and his hips arch off of the bed. “Oh Pip, you’re killing me here,” he hisses. “There’s no way I’m keeping a lid on it tonight.”

  I arch an eyebrow at him as I say, “Well, I’m really new to this, so I may be missing the fundamentals, but isn’t that kind of the point?” I take in as much as possible as I rhythmically suck while I use the other hand to stroke his scrotum.

  Jeff’s nostrils flare and he takes a deep breath as his abdominal muscles tighten, he reflexively buries his hands in my hair. “So perfect,” he groans.

  I can tell by the way his hands are massaging my scalp that he isn’t getting quite what he needs from me so I press his hands to my head and murmur, “Show me what you need, please.”

  Jeff’s dark chocolate eyes shoot open as he nails me with an intense glance. “Trust me?” he asks softly.

  “Always, implicitly,” I answer without a second’s trepidation.

  Jeff nods and gives me a small tight smile. “Pip, hold your fist around me at the base and don’t let go, okay?”

  I nod, sending my hair cascading in all directions.

  Jeff guides my mouth over him and I notice that with my hand there, he can’t go deep enough to gag me. He gently moves my head up and down gradually increasing the speed until he finds the rhythm that suits him. I could feel the tension building in his body as he held his muscles so taut they begin to tremble. Suddenly, he groans and half sits up to grab a t-shirt off the bed. I’d never seen a guy come before; it was an interesting mix of mechanics and emotion. Jeff looked more relaxed and comfortable than I think I’ve ever seen him. All the tension seems to have melted away. Jeff cleans himself up with a t-shirt and then he laughs at me when I chuck him a box of flushable wipes to finish the job.

  “I’m sorry about that.” Jeff says regretfully, “I should have taken care of you first. That was disrespectful, I’m really embarrassed.”

  I scoff as I ask. “Do I look unhappy to you? It was a very erotic experience to please you. I can use my Bob anytime.”

  The tips of Jeff’s ears turn red as if he’s embarrassed that I’ve seen him so undone. He shakes his head and runs his hand through his short hair, “Bob?” he asks, full of wary curiosity.

  “You know,” I explain with a casual shrug, “my battery operated boyfriend.”

  “I hope your first aid credentials are up to date,” he croaks, “because just contemplating that visual is enough to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels.

  “Oh, my poor PC, it’s a good thing I’ll be around to help you in your old age because your stress levels are entirely too high,” I say as I curl up against him and lay my head on his chest.

  Chapter 25: Jeff

  I wake up in stages. The first thing I notice is that I feel anchored. I know that sounds strange, but it�
�s true. Kiera is tucked under my chin with her arm slung across my chest. Her hair covering us like a striking, fiery blanket in the morning sun. I can’t move without disturbing her, but I’m fine spending time gazing at her exquisite beauty. Perhaps the biggest difference Kiera has made in my life has been emotional. Before I met her, I hadn’t really given myself permission to feel anything at all since my dad died. I know life at our house was a living nightmare and I did my best to be the perfect kid so that no one was on the receiving end of my step-dad’s verbal torching. He roughed me up as a kid, but he convinced me that it was normal and what real men do.

  Even as a kid, I knew this was wrong and I was fiercely protective of my mom and Donda. I used to beg my mom to leave Kevin. After so many years of denial, I gradually started believing the front that my mom and Donda had erected, even though I knew better. I’m sick that I fell into his trap and wasn’t more insistent. The fact that the abuse was so much worse than I had even imagined is the stuff of nightmares.

  Seeing my life through the prism of Pip has encouraged me to reexamine everything I thought to be true about my life. I am not worthless, I am not the cause of my father’s death and no matter how perfect I tried to be, I wasn’t ever going to win my stepfather’s approval because it was never a winnable commodity and in the end it was not even worth having. Learning all of this frees me to be the real person I’m meant to be, anchored in Pip’s unconditional love. I love that I don’t have to put on a false front with her. She knows about my protective streak and my analytical, super-nerd side, my epic jerk-wad tendencies and she knows I’ve got a crazy soft spot for those girls, but it hasn’t seemed to scare her off yet.

  Kiera stirs and stretches like a sleepy cat. She rolls to her side and the sheet slips to her waist exposing her pale breasts. In the morning light, her freckles look like a dusting of spice and I can’t resist a taste. Very gently, I kiss the side of her breast and watch as her nipples pucker. I proceed to randomly kiss several locations on her torso and neck. As I reach the delicate hollow of her collarbone, she gasps and her pulse starts to flutter.