Amish Widow's Hope

by Samantha Price

  Amos said, “She died in childbirth, his fraa did.”

  Anita gasped.

  “Amos, you didn’t have to tell her that,” Hannah said.

  “It’s the truth, woman.” Amos scowled at Hannah.

  Hannah shook her head at him, then rubbed Anita’s arm. “Don’t worry; that hardly ever happens.”

  “How sad for him. And the boppli died too?” Anita asked.

  Amos nodded, glanced at Hannah, and then said, “Seems I’m not allowed to tell you the details.”

  Anita shook her head, and then covered her ears with the palms of her hands. “Nee. Don’t tell me.” Anita didn’t want to have such things in her head before she faced the unknown event of her first childbirth.

  “Amos, go and read in the living room. Leave Anita and me in peace while we get the meal ready.”

  Amos chuckled. “All right. I’ll leave you two alone so you can have your women’s talk.” He pushed out the chair causing it to screech along the floorboards. Then he stood up, placed the chair back under the table, and strode out of the room.

  “Sorry, Anita.”

  “That’s okay. He didn’t know it would upset me, I suppose. I’m nervous. I don’t know about childbirth. I’ve heard about it, but that’s all. Some say it doesn’t hurt and then other women say it does.”

  “The best thing is not to think of it as pain. It’s good pain. It’s your body opening up for your baby to enter the world.”

  Anita nodded. “That helps, I think.”

  “Do you want me to come with you? I could be the birth-helper.”

  “Would you?”

  “I’d love to, if you want me to.”

  “I’d like nothing more.” Tears came to Anita’s eyes again. “Oh nee. I’m crying again. This isn’t like me. I haven’t cried for years. I cried when Joshua died, I mean I cried for days, but before that, I hadn’t cried for years.”

  “Here.” Hannah handed her some paper napkins. “It’s only normal to feel sad, then happy, then sad all in the space of five minutes when you’re expecting.”

  Anita sniffed.

  Hannah gathered up the peas Anita had shelled and put them into the pan with the other vegetables.

  “When is Eli coming?”

  “He’ll be here in a few weeks. That’s what Amos told me earlier.”

  Hannah seemed to know more than she was letting on, which led Anita to wonder again if husband and wife were both setting her up. Were they trying to match her with Eli? And if so, did Eli know of it? “So you knew the two of them were good friends, Eli and Amos?”

  “I don’t know. He just told me about Eli coming to visit and said that he might stay on. I remembered that the two of you were good friends before you married Joshua.”

  “That was a long time ago.”

  “Jah, that was before Amos and I married.”

  Chapter 13

  And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted,

  and become as little children,

  ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

  Matthew 18:3

  * * *

  Three weeks later, Anita was outside playing with the boys when she heard Hannah call out, “He’s here.”

  “Come on, you two. Come and meet onkel Eli,” Anita said to the children. She took their hands and they walked around the front of the house.

  Anita and the boys joined Hannah and Amos waiting out in front of the house. A taxi pulled up and Eli got out. Amos helped him get his luggage out of the trunk. He had four large suitcases.

  Must be everything he owns, Anita thought.

  He looked exactly the same as he had all those years ago. He greeted everyone and then bent down and shook hands with Ben and Sam. Then Amos ushered everyone into the house.

  “I’ll carry your things up to your room. Let’s sit for a while first, and you can tell us what you’ve been doing,” Amos said.

  When Eli took off his hat, Anita saw that his hair was graying around his temples.

  “Everyone sit down. I’ll get us something to eat.” Hannah had everyone sit in the living room.

  “I’ll help,” Anita said heading to the kitchen behind Hannah.

  “Nee, get away with you. You go and sit down. It’s all ready. I just have to carry it out.”

  When Anita sat in front of Eli, she noted that his face was clean-shaven, meaning he was probably looking for a wife, as all married men and new widowers had beards.

  “I hear your husband’s recently gone to be with Gott?”

  Anita nodded. “And I heard about your fraa. I was sad to hear about what happened.”

  “It’s all Gott’s will.”

  Anita nodded, noting his stoicism and saying nothing of the pain of losing her husband.

  “Here we go,” Hannah said as she placed the tray of coffee and cakes down on the table between the two couches.

  “This looks gut,” Eli said.

  “What kind of work have you been doing, Eli?” Hannah asked as she sat down.

  “I make furniture.”

  “That’s right,” Anita said. “I remember you were always good with working with wood.”

  Eli chuckled. “I learned from my grossdaddi.”

  “There’d be plenty of call for that around these parts if you stay on,” Amos said.

  “I’ve never been short of work.”

  Hannah passed Eli a slice of cake.

  “Denke, Hannah.”

  Eli looked over at the boys playing in the corner of the room. “You’ve got two fine boys over there.” He looked over at Anita. “And you’ve been blessed too.”

  “Jah, I’ve not got long to go.”

  “Only weeks away, isn’t it?” Amos said.

  Anita nodded.

  “We’ll have to get the grossdaddi haus ready. We haven’t even got a crib for you.”

  “Anita can use, Sam’s, he’s grown out of it.”

  “Denke, I will take gut care of it.”

  “Would you allow me to make you a crib, Anita?”

  “Nee, I couldn’t allow you to do that.”

  “The man wouldn’t have offered if he didn’t want to do it, Anita.” Amos said sternly as though she was being rude by not accepting his offer.

  “It will give me something to do while I’m here besides helping Amos on the farm.” He looked over at Amos. “I intend to earn my keep while I’m living here.”

  Living here? Anita breathed out heavily. How long is he intending to stay? When everyone stared at Anita, she said to Eli, “Are you certain you want to?”

  “I would like very much to make one for you.”

  When he smiled at her she remembered the friendship they’d once shared. Although his hair was flecked with gray at the sides, he still had the same vivid blue eyes.

  “Then I accept. Denke.” Anita hadn’t wanted him to make her a crib because she didn’t want people to force them together as they had tried to force Mark Yoder onto her. Making a crib for her might make Eli think they had a chance of a future together. While she thought on the things that Eli or others might think of her, she realized that the conversation had continued.

  “What do you think about that, Anita?” Amos asked.

  “I’m sorry. My mind was elsewhere.”

  “What would you think about Eli moving here, staying on in the community?”

  “I think it would be wunderbaar, if that’s what he decides he wants to do.”

  Eli smiled at her.

  When they’d finished their conversation and all the cake and coffee were gone, Amos stood up. “I’ll take your things up to your room, Eli. It’s the first on the left up the stairs.”

  When Hannah bounded to her feet too, Anita knew beyond a doubt they were trying to match them together.

  Hannah said, “I’ll take these.” She leaned over, picked up the tray and disappeared into the kitchen.

  She stared at Eli wondering what to say to him. It would be awkward with him in the house, and wo
rse still that she’d said ‘yes’ to him making her a crib.

  “You haven’t changed at all, Anita.

  Anita gave a laugh to cover the awkwardness she felt inside. “I’m sure that’s not so. I’m much older than when we last saw each other.”

  “The years have been kind to you.”

  “You certainly look the same,” Anita said hoping it didn’t sound like she was saying it only because he said it to her first. “What made you think of coming back to the community, Eli?”

  “There aren’t many women where I was.”

  Anita looked away. She’d been right all along. Anita pushed herself up out of the chair. “Well I think I should go and see how Hannah is getting along. I can’t let her do everything herself.”

  “Before you go, Anita.”

  He grabbed her hand and Anita instinctively pulled away from him because it had given her such a fright that he’d touched her.

  “Can you spare some time for me tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow?” Anita quickly tried to come up with an excuse so she wouldn’t have to be alone with him.

  “I’d like you to come with me to choose the wood for the crib.”

  Agreeing to that crib was a bad idea. “What wood is normally used?”

  “There are several kinds. I’d really like you to come with me and choose the wood. Let’s do that together, shall we?”

  “Jah, of course I’ll come with you to choose the wood.”

  Eli smiled, and then Anita walked into the kitchen wondering what she’d gotten herself into. She nearly ran into Hannah who was very close to the door. “Were you listening in?” she whispered to Hannah.

  Hannah put her hand over her mouth and giggled. Anita gave her a slap on the shoulder. “Stop it; it’s not funny. He wants me to go and choose wood for the crib when I could just use your crib. I don’t need a new one at all.”

  “He seems a very nice man and he obviously likes you.”

  “Jah. He’s a nice man and I keep telling everybody I don’t want any man, not at the moment. I just need time to get over the fact that Joshua isn’t here any more. Don’t you see that, Hannah? I can’t ever forget about Joshua. If something happened to Amos would you be able to just forget about him, and switch to another man?”

  “Jah, probably. I think I could.” Hannah laughed.

  Anita shook her head. “You’re impossible.”

  “Look, Anita, the man likes you, and wants to make your baby a crib. Where’s the harm in that?”

  “I don’t want him to think that something more can happen between us. I don't like him that way, and have never liked him in that way. I never liked him as more than a friend.”

  “Why? I thought you’d like him. What do you find wrong with him?”

  “Stop!”

  Hannah walked passed her and continued washing the dishes.

  “I’ll help you in here, and then I might go for walk.”

  Hannah drew her hands out of the sudsy water and looked at her. “You never go for a walk.”

  “I need to get out by myself for a little bit.”

  “Okay. I’ll go out and talk to our guest so he doesn’t feel like he’s been abandoned.”

  “Good thinking.”

  When Anita finished her duties in the kitchen, she threw her cape around her shoulders and left by the door in the grossdaddi haus. When she stepped outside, she hurried away just in case anyone saw her and tried to stop her.

  She headed in the direction of Simon’s house. Anita smiled as she remembered playing in the very same fields when she was a young girl. She’d had fun playing with her younger brothers and the other children in the community. And now, soon, her child could play in the very same fields with Sam and Ben, when he or she was old enough.

  Anita stopped walking when she felt sharp pain in her chest. Dora, the midwife, had warned her she might get some heartburn, as the baby was growing larger. Dora had also told her to eat small meals and more often. Maybe she shouldn’t have had such a large piece of cake.

  She took a deep breath in, and kept walking. When she found a grassy spot, she sat down. Her eyes fell to the wildflowers in front of her and she recalled the daisy chains she used to make as a child. She plucked the yellow and white flowers until she had a handful, and then she carefully made a daisy chain. Anita placed the chain on her head just as she’d done when she was a child.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement and hoped it wasn’t one of the cows in the wrong paddock again. It was Simon on a horse. He waved to her and turned his horse toward her. When he was close, he jumped down and led the horse behind him.

  “Hello,” Anita said.

  Simon bowed. “What are you doing so far away from your palace, your majesty?”

  When she looked confused, he pointed to the top of her head. She remembered the daisy chain. She felt heat rise to her cheeks, and then she laughed as she ripped it off her head. “I forgot about this. I just felt the need to get away from the haus.” She glanced at the horse. “I’ve never seen you ride before.”

  “I’m riding the boundary fences to see what fencing work I’ve got coming up. There are always fences to be repaired.”

  Anita recalled her father often grumbling about repairing fences. “They look pretty good to me when I’ve driven past.”

  “That’s because I’ve replaced most of them. When I bought this place, they were in a dreadful state. Mind if I sit?”

  “Please do.”

  After he sat down, he asked, “Did I see a taxi heading to your place a few hours ago?”

  “Jah. Our visitor arrived.”

  “Is that why you’re out here walking?”

  Anita giggled. “It might be.”

  “Is that Eli something or other? Eli Smith, isn’t it?”

  “Jah that's him. He's related to the midwife, Dora Smith, her grand nephew I think. Eli was a good friend of mine many years ago.”

  Simon raised his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner.

  Anita giggled. “It’s nothing like that.”

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

  “Ach nee! What is it? I don’t like it when people start off their question like that. Okay what is it?”

  “I need a woman’s advice on paint.”

  “Paint? Paint for what?”

  “I need to paint my living room and kitchen. You’d know what the best color would be.” He smiled and looked into her eyes.

  “Red is a good color.” Anita knew no one in the community would ever use bright colors like that in their home.

  “See! I knew you had good taste.”

  Anita laughed. “I’ll be happy to help you choose a color.”

  “I’ll come by tomorrow and collect you.”

  Anita remembered that she was supposed to go with Eli tomorrow to look at wood. “What about the day after?”

  He nodded. “The day after it is. Hannah seems to like her job.”

  “Jah, she does.”

  “She told me you helped her with Amos over it.”

  “I’m sure he would’ve come around in the end, when he saw how much it meant to her.”

  “I don’t know about that. He can be a little stubborn sometimes.”

  Anita looked up at the sky when she felt droplets of rain. She held her hand out. “Looks like I should head back.”

  “I’ll walk with you.” Simon stood up.

  “Nee, it’s okay. You continue looking at your fences, or whatever it was you were doing.”

  Simon chuckled and offered his hand. She took hold of it, and he pulled her to her feet. “Okay. I’ll come by the day after tomorrow mid-morning. Don’t you forget now.”

  “I won’t.” Anita walked away, pleased that she’d talked to him. He always made her feel better.

  Chapter 14

  Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

  Isaiah 26:3

  * * *

  The f
ollowing day was Thursday, and everyone was sitting around the table eating breakfast. Hannah was due to work in the candy store later that day.

  “Are you sure you don’t need the buggy today?” Hannah asked Anita.

  Anita looked across the table at Eli. “Eli was going to take me to look at wood today.”

  Amos said, “Eli, why don’t you take the buggy? You can take Hannah to work and drop the boys at her mudder’s. That way you can both take the buggy for the day.”

  “Denke, Amos. That sounds like a mighty fine idea.”

  Anita wondered why Eli hadn’t arranged something before now, but then again, she hadn’t thought of how they’d look at the wood without borrowing the buggy either. Even though Amos had the spare buggy, and more than one horse, he never liked to use the older buggy.

  “I’ll get ready as soon as we clear up,” Anita said.

  “You ladies leave the cleaning up for me to do.”

  Both ladies stopped in their tracks and stared at Amos.

  “Really?” Hannah asked.

  “I don’t have much work to do today. I do have to make an early start of it tomorrow. You might be able to give me a hand tomorrow, Eli.”

  “I’d be happy to.”

  Not wanting Hannah to be late for work, Anita hurried to her room. She placed her black over-bonnet over her prayer kapp and took hold of her black shawl. It was so hard to know what the weather was going to be like in the early months of the year. One minute it was warm, and the next minute it could turn quite chilly.

  After Anita brushed her teeth, she glanced up at her reflection. She ran her fingertips over some faint dark patches that had appeared. Oh nee. That’s what the midwife said might happen. It seemed that all the things the midwife warned her might happen had started happening. First there was the heartburn, and now the dark splotches on her skin. Serves me right for looking in the mirror, I suppose. If I didn’t look, I wouldn’t know they were there. I hope they go away after I have the boppli. I’ve always had such clear skin.

  She hurried through the door that led back into the kitchen. Hannah was at the front door getting the boys’ shoes on. Anita looked through the front door to see that Eli was already waiting in the buggy.