Amish Widow's Hope

by Samantha Price

  “All done.” Hannah stood up.

  Anita took Sam's hand and led him outside, while Hannah followed with Ben. Eli jumped down and lifted the boys into the buggy.

  Once they were all set to go, Amos stepped out of the barn and gave a wave.

  “Wave at Dat,” Anita said to the boys.

  The boys and Anita were in the back seat while Hannah and Eli were in the front. Anita lifted the little one up from his seat so he could wave to his father. The boys both waved to him.

  “You’re going to see your grossmammi,” Anita said to the boys.

  Hannah turned around. “They love going to Mammi’s haus.”

  “We’re going to see, Mammi,” Ben said.

  “That’s right. You’re growing up into such a big boy. You look after your bruder today, won’t you?” Anita said.

  “Jah.”

  After they left Hannah’s mother’s house, Eli drove Hannah to the candy store.

  “I’ll be finished at five, Eli,” Hannah said when she stepped down from the buggy.

  “We’ll be waiting,” Eli said. He turned around to look at Anita. “Come sit in the front with me.”

  “Jah, I was just getting my shawl.” Anita took her shawl with her and climbed into the front seat.

  He moved the horse forward. “I’ve missed this town.”

  “Jah. I think we always feel a certain fondness for the place we’ve grown up.”

  Eli glanced over at her. “Were you pleased to come home?”

  “I had mixed feelings.” The truth was she felt as though she’d gone backward and not forward in her life. She didn’t feel as though Eli would understand her thoughts so she kept them to herself. “I mean I moved away married and came back home alone.”

  “Life has its ups and downs. Now, have you thought what kind of crib you’d like?”

  “Nee. I haven’t thought much about it. I don’t know enough about wood to make any kind of decision.”

  “We can work it out together.”

  When he glanced at her and flashed a smile, she knew she was in trouble. She regretted accepting his offer of making the crib. He obviously had an attraction to her, and although he was a nice man, she didn’t feel anything toward him other than remnants of their old friendship. Would he expect some affection or commitment from her when he made the crib? Somehow she knew that he was only doing it because he saw her as his future wife. Anita was certain that Amos had something to do with that.

  Eli glanced at her. “What kind of wood do you like?”

  “I’m not certain. Would it be painted?”

  “You could have it painted if you want, but real wood-lovers like to see the color and the grain of the wood.”

  “That makes sense. Whatever you think is best.”

  He tipped his hat back on his head. “You’ve got to have some opinions, Anita.”

  Anita hoped she wasn’t making him angry. She had become careful what she said around Amos lately, but she excused him because he was her brother. Anita certainly didn’t want a husband, or even a potential husband, that she had to worry about offending or upsetting. Anita shook her head at that thought. Everyone was pushing her to find another man, and now she found she’d been entertaining the idea.

  “Do you feel okay? Do you want me to stop the buggy a while?” Eli asked.

  “Nee, I’m okay, denke. I was just thinking we could look at the timber when we’re at the lumber yard, and then I can say which one I like.”

  “Nee. It’s rough wood; you won’t be able to tell anything from that. I’ll take you to a furniture store where you can see all the different kinds of wood.”

  “That sounds gut.”

  He stopped the buggy at a furniture store. Anita was quick to get out of the buggy before he got to the other side to help her down. It was a large Amish furniture store, which hadn’t been there when Anita had lived in the area. “This building wasn’t even here a few years ago.”

  “Jah, it seems as though it’s fairly new.” He pushed the door open for her, and she walked through. As they walked down the aisles of furniture, Eli pointed out all the different varieties of wood.

  When they rounded the end of one of the aisles, Anita saw someone who looked like Simon. She focused more intently and saw that it was Simon. “Let’s look over this way,” she said pointing in the other direction. She did not want to let Simon see her with Eli.

  “Good idea. There are cribs over there and you can see the different styles.”

  Anita made herself concentrate on choosing a crib that looked nice to her, when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

  “Hello, Anita.”

  She swung around to see Simon. “Simon, I didn’t know you were here.”

  Simon stared at Eli and Eli stared back at him.

  “Simon, this is…” Anita’s mind went blank as she searched for her friend’s name.

  Eli put his hand out. “I’m Eli Smith.”

  “I’m Simon, Hannah’s bruder.” They shook hands.

  “Jah, Hannah’s bruder,” Anita mumbled.

  “Is this what you had planned today?” Simon asked staring intently at Anita.

  She knew she had put off their outing to choose paint for his house, and hadn’t told him she was going somewhere with Eli.

  “Jah. Eli’s been kind enough to offer to make me a crib. He’s showing me designs and all the different types of wood.”

  Anita was just about to ask Simon what had brought him into the store, but before she could say anything further, Simon said, “I’ll leave you both to it, then.” He nodded to Eli before he walked away.

  Anita stood open-mouthed and watched Simon walk away.

  “So that’s Hannah’s younger bruder?”

  Anita nodded. “Do you remember him?”

  “Barely. He was so much younger. He’s much younger than both of us. I’m sure he would’ve been just a boppli when you married Joshua.”

  “He’s only six years younger.”

  “Is there anything between the two of you? Tell me now so I don’t waste any more of my time.”

  Anita studied his face. Could he tell that she was genuinely fond of Simon? She had to cover up the feelings that she didn’t want to admit to herself. “Jah, you’re right. He’s much younger than both of us.”

  “I’m sorry, Anita, I just can’t do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “I can’t make you a crib when you’ve got your eyes on someone else. I put a lot of effort into my furniture. I can’t make it for you now.”

  Anita looked down at the ground. “Whatever you think is best. I guess we should head home.”

  Eli said nothing and walked out of the store in front of her. He didn’t even hold the door open for her. When she reached the buggy he was already sitting in the driver’s seat with his hands on the reins.

  It was a tense trip home, and it was even tenser when they arrived home. With Amos out working in the fields and Hannah at the candy store, it was just the two of them.

  “Would you like a cup of tea or kaffe?”

  He looked up from his seated position on the couch, and lowered the Amish newspaper he’d been reading. “I can’t do this any more.” Eli jumped up, and placed the newspaper on the couch behind him.

  “Do what?”

  “You’ve changed, Anita. You’re not the same girl I used to know. You’re setting yourself up for heartache if you think that man we saw today would ever be interested in you.”

  “I haven’t got my eyes on anybody, Eli. I keep telling everybody that I’m not ready for anything at this time in my life.”

  “That’s not the impression your bruder gave me.”

  “Amos?”

  “Seems I’ve come all this way for nothing. When Amos told me you needed a husband, I thought I could come in and be a vadder to your child, and husband to you, but you haven’t welcomed me. I’m too old to chase you, or try to win you from another man.”

  Anita shrugged her shou
lders reaching for words. Nothing came to mind.

  “I’m going to pack my things, and then call a taxi.” He left her, and trudged up the stairs.

  “Where you going?” she called after him.

  “Back home.”

  Anita collapsed onto the couch, hoping that Amos wouldn’t blame her for Eli’s sudden disappearance. But, in a way, she was glad to be relieved of the pressure. Now, with him gone and not making a crib for the baby, she wouldn’t have to worry about feeling obligated toward him.

  Fifteen minutes later, Eli threw his suitcases down at the front door and strode to the barn. Anita guessed he was calling for a taxi to take him to the bus stop. When he came out of the barn, he waited on the porch. Anita was too scared of his anger to join him.

  When the taxi came, Eli opened the front door to retrieve his suitcases, and then closed the door heavily behind him. Anita watched through the window as he got into the taxi.

  When the taxi was out of sight, Anita was flooded with a sense of peace and relief. Although she didn’t like seeing anybody upset, a heavy load had been lifted from her.

  She walked upstairs and looked at the crib in Sam’s room. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’ll do nicely. On her way back downstairs, she wondered if she’d also upset Simon. She deliberately hadn’t told him what she was doing when he wanted to take her to look at the paint. Would he see her not telling him that she had a prior appointment with Eli as being deceptive? Would he still come by to collect her tomorrow as they had arranged? Anita hoped that he would.

  When afternoon came, with Eli gone, it was left to Anita to collect Hannah from work.

  Hannah was surprised to see Anita driving the buggy. Before they fetched the boys from Hannah’s mother’s house, Anita told Hannah everything that had happened that day.

  Chapter 15

  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

  Philippians 4:7

  * * *

  “What do you mean, Eli’s gone?” Amos bellowed.

  “Can’t you see she’s upset, Amos?” Hannah said.

  Anita was helping Hannah mash vegetables for the boys’ dinner. “He left and I don’t know why. He didn’t really say. He seemed to think I needed a husband and when I told him I wasn’t interested, he became angry. He called a taxi and left.” Anita shrugged her shoulders. She’d left out the part about running into Simon in the furniture store. The part she left out was her private business, and she didn’t see why her younger brother should know every single thing about her life.

  “Just like that? He just walked out, did he?

  “Jah. That’s right. You can ask him yourself. I didn’t ask him to leave.”

  “I’ll give him a couple of days to get home, and then I’ll call him and find out for myself.”

  Hannah rounded her shoulders. “As you wish.”

  Amos stared at her as though he knew there was more to the story than what she was telling him.

  Anita looked at Hannah. “Did you have a good day at work?”

  Before Hannah could answer, Amos butted in, “You’ve surely talked about that on the way home in the buggy.” Amos stood up from the kitchen table, and stomped out of the kitchen.

  “He’s upset,” Hannah said.

  Anita raised her eyebrows. “I can see that.”

  Ben and Sam were sitting at their small table. Hannah passed the boys a cooked carrot each to munch on while they were waiting on their mashed vegetables.

  When Anita put the bowls of food in front of the boys, she said to Hannah,

  “I need to go and speak to Amos about something.” Anita walked out of the kitchen and sat in front of Amos.

  He closed his paper up and looked at her.

  “It’s your fault you know.”

  Amos drew his eyebrows together. “What is?”

  “It’s your fault for telling a lie that I was interested in finding a husband. You know that’s not true.”

  Amos looked away from her. “That’s because you don’t know what’s good for you.”

  “What’s good for me is to have a peaceful life, at least until my boppli comes into the world. I don’t need to keep fighting you about this; I’m not interested in finding another husband. Joshua has only been gone a few months.” Anita looked up to the ceiling and blinked rapidly to stop the tears from falling.

  Amos stared at her and his mouth turned down at the corners. “I’m only trying to help you. If I don’t help you, who else will?”

  “I appreciate you wanting to help me, but can you wait to ask me if I want your help with something before you act next time?”

  He gradually smiled. “I can do that.”

  “That’ll make me feel much better.”

  He nodded, and then asked, “When do you go to see the midwife next?”

  “I think I need to see her next Wednesday, and then after that, I see her weekly.”

  “She’ll have to start coming here. You can’t go driving over those bad roads by yourself.”

  There he was again being overprotective, but this time he was right, the roads were bad. She didn’t want be stuck out on those roads again. “She did say at the later stages she’d come here”

  “So she should. I’ll take you there next week, and then we need to make sure that she comes here to see you.”

  “Denke, Amos.”

  Anita pushed herself to her feet, and went back into the kitchen to help Hannah with the dinner.

  Chapter 16

  And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a

  sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

  Ephesians 5:2

  * * *

  The next morning, Anita walked into the kitchen just after daybreak. Hannah was already baking bread, and the two boys munched on something at their small table. “Amos has already left?” Anita asked.

  “Jah. He wanted to get an early start.”

  “Eli was meant to help him today; that makes me feel bad.”

  “It was Eli’s choice to leave. Do you have plans for the day?” Hannah asked Anita.

  Anita sat down at the table wondering if Hannah knew her brother was coming by to take her somewhere. “Simon did mention that he might come by. He said he was going to take me somewhere, but I forget where.”

  Hannah laughed. “You’re getting forgetful. I was like that during both my pregnancies.”

  “Were you?”

  Hannah nodded, and Anita felt a little better. She was normally not forgetful; neither did she usually cry over small things.

  It was mid-morning when Anita heard a horse and buggy making its way to the house. Her heart beat faster when she looked out the window to see that it was Simon. She was happy he hadn’t been put off by her not being entirely truthful about the previous day.

  “Sounds like he’s here,” Hannah called to Anita.

  “I’m coming.” Anita hurried to her room, placed her over-bonnet on, pulled her black shawl off the peg, and then came back into the main house. Anita kissed the boys, and said goodbye to Hannah. When she opened the front door, she came face-to-face with Simon.

  “Hello, Anita. You’re very rosy-cheeked today.”

  “Hello. I think it’s the cold.” She suddenly felt nervous and excited at the same time.

  Simon looked into the house at Hannah, and gave her a wave. He called out to Hannah, “I’ll come back later to play with the boys.” He looked at Anita. “You ready?”

  Anita nodded, and then they made their way out to his buggy.

  Try as she might, Anita could not remember where he had said he was taking her. She hoped he’d mention where they were going soon.

  As they traveled down the long driveway, Simon asked. “Eli helping Amos today?”

  “Eli and I had a bit of a falling out, I’m afraid.”

  He whipped his head around to look at her. “What happened?”

&nbs
p; “I upset him.”

  He was silent for a while before he said, “I find it hard to believe that you could upset anyone.”

  Anita grunted. “I think I’ve upset a few people since I’ve been here.”

  “Let me guess, one - Amos, and two – Fran?”

  Anita giggled.

  Simon took his eyes off the road for an instant to glance over at her. “Am I right?”

  “I don’t know if I’ve upset Fran too much, but you’re right about Amos.”

  “Now tell me seriously, what did you do to upset Eli?”

  “The whole situation was awkward. He insisted on making a crib for my boppli even though Hannah’s got a perfectly good crib that she offered to loan me. I was put in a position where I couldn’t say ‘no.’ Then he seemed a little annoyed that I didn’t know what kind of wood I wanted or what style I wanted. I’m no expert on that kind of thing.” Anita raised her hands in the air.

  “And that’s when he suggested taking you to the furniture store?”

  “Jah that’s right.”

  “And you didn’t want him to make it because you didn’t want to feel obligated to him?”

  “That’s exactly right.” He seemed to understand how she felt, just like her friends back home in Ohio would. She missed her friends terribly. Back home she was always visiting her friends, or they were visiting her. They lived in out of each other’s homes. She was happy to live with Amos and Hannah now, and not by herself. It was nice at night to know that there was someone else in the house. She had spent too many nights at home after Joshua had departed, alone with her grief and battling morning sickness, and they had been the worst nights she’d ever had.

  Simon broke through her daydreams. “I hope you’ve given a lot of thought to the colors you’re to choose today.”

  That’s when Anita remembered. She was to help him choose paint for his house. “To be truthful, I haven’t given any thought to it, at all.”

  “At least you’re honest. Do you know how many shades of white there are?”